A Little Chat

Now of course the count wasn't supposed to be anywhere near the Vatican. He was forbidden by his master to do so much as think about the Holy See. Nor was he supposed to contact the Pope at all, but this clearly did not and has not stopped him. The numerous letters he sent to the holy father were either ignored or not received, he decided to pay him a little visit. It wasn't easy getting past his master or Hellsing's butler, but he had a bit of help.

"I've got a bit of business to attend," he had said to his fledgling. "I need you to make sure that no one suspects anything of me." It was almost useless asking the Police Girl for help. Not that she wasn't capable of covering for him, it was just a given that he'd be thought of doing something suspicious by leaving the manor anyhow. Alucard asked her cooperation still, and she wasn't pleased with saying "Yes, master."

He alarmed several passersby when he arrived where the Pope was not so heavily guarded (surprisingly enough, with the threats he sent frequently). Alucard was pleased with the mark he made on Vatican City; the crimson stains of the Catholic. The poor man knew of the vampire's arrival far before he reached him, the screams of his weak guards the soundtrack of the count's casual stroll through the Vatican.

The Pope was quickly bound and knocked over the head with a bible, consciousness ironically lost. Chuckling, the vampire made his exit, the holy man slung over his shoulder. No one was sent to stop him, disappointingly, as that would've made the ordeal a bit more entertaining. He didn't travel far, just to an abandoned home a city away. He cast a dark illusion over the poor man, the darkness becoming palpable.

His cries were muffled by the bible Alucard had shoved in his mouth, and he fought against the ties at his arms and legs.

"Now you see how those poor little boys feel," the vampire taunted, cutting through the dark, being the only thing he allowed the Pope to see. "Tell me, papist, what happened to all of my letters?" Of course, the man only tried to yell, broken sounds later silenced by fear were all he could manage.

"What was that? Couldn't hear you over the sound of your imminent demise." Alucard chuckled, taking the bible and tossing it up, creating the illusion of bayonets falling toward the holy father. This of course elicited another scream. They vanished into the dark as soon as they reached the man's head.

"Now you even sound like those poor boys, you filthy inbred. Now that I think you're able to speak, how about you do something for me?" The Pope was paralyzed with fear by then, seeing the crazed vampire up close rather than in writing.

"Tell your favorite priest Alucard says hello." At that, the ties that bound him were no more, and the disillusioned Pope ran far from the now somewhat satisfied vampire. He called out to him telepathically to deliver his last message for a while, one he hoped would stick

"Eat me, don't forget to write!"