"Button button who's got the button? It defiantly isn't the witch. But Red's still a bad girl. And William's still a bad man, don't think you'll change that."

Angel sighed to himself. Spike was awake and rambling on about something again. Angel had brought back the younger vampire to L.A. about a week ago, and there was no change in progress. He still spoke in riddles.

Leaving the desk he was sitting at. Angel made his way to his bedroom. Spike had chosen to stay in there since his arrival and had made his own 'bed' in the corner. It consisted of six pillows and a duvet although he did sleep in a corner on the floor, he was happy and that was all that mattered.

Unlocking the door, Angel breezed in and shut it automatically behind him. "Spike? How are you feeling?" peering around the darkened room he searched for the younger. Despite being told and shown, Spike still refused to have the curtains open, even though the glass didn't let the harmful rays in.

"Why are you here?" came a voice from the shadows. "Shouldn't you be back in your big city looking after the pets you have? Speaking of which where are my pets."

"Spike," Angel began the familiar talk he had to recite every time Spike woke up. "You're not in Sunnydale anymore. You're in L.A. with my friends and me. Angel. Remember?"

"Right. Not pets. Shouldn't have said that. Stupid William, stupid boy." Spike cut himself off and began thumping his head against the nearest wall, accentuating every word with a hit. "Never pets. Not pets. Not friends to William. William is a bad, rude man. Shall be punished."

"Spike." Angel pulled him back and held him still while whispering in his ear. "Stop it. You wont be punished. I swear. Okay? I'm going to help you and you're going to be okay."

"No." came the whispered reply. "I don't think it ever will be okay again. So many things have happened. Some small some big and I caused them all. So terribly bad."

Angel sighed again. Each day he tried to talk some sense into Spike. Who he was, what had happened and that he was good. Yet each day he felt as if he was the thing that held Spike back from recovery. "Come on now Spike. Let's get you fed." Pulling a bottle of blood from his bedside cabinet he took his childe and sat on the edge of the bed. "Now open up."

Spike fidgeted and moved his face away from the bottle held to his lips. "Can't." he murmured. "Can't keep it down. Bring it back up again straight away. You know I will."

"No you wont Spike." The elder patiently moved the other onto his lap and held him there. "How about we have a little bit now? Only a little sip, just so you can get some nutrients into your system." Holding him firmly Angel put the bottle to the others lips and let the liquid brush against his lips. Pulling it away again he waited until Spike had licked off the blood before trying again. "There we go. Now just open your lips a little bit."

Spike did so and let the life juice slide between his parched lips. Holding onto his sire's shirt with both hands and kneading the soft silk with his knuckles he swallowed slowly and awaited the next mouthful.

All the while Angel whispered comforting words in Spike's ear and held him tight. After the forth gulp he lowered the bottle and put it back onto the side. Spike sighed and shifted his head to lie against Angel's shoulder. Smelling the sweet scent of his sire calmed him and helped to keep the blood down.

"Does that feel a bit better?" Angel asked and was glad when he felt Spike nod his head against his shoulder. He barely realised he was rubbing circles onto Spike's back, much like you do to a child to burp them.

"Wont last though. You'll have to leave. Like always."

"Spike, I only work down the hall, in my office. Why don't you come with me now? It'll do you good to come out of this room. I'll leave the door open so you can come back whenever you like." Looking into the younger's eyes he saw the fear and squeezed him tighter slightly. "Would you like to do that?"

"Will there be people? And blood?"

"There will only be blood in a bottle for us to eat. And yes some people may come in, but only if I say so. You will be perfectly safe I promise." Angel let Spike from his hold and stood up, still looking at his childe the whole time.

Spike let the ghost of a smile touch his lips before holding out his hand. "Take me." he whispered and took a shaky step towards his sire, and the door.

Accepting the hand and tugging the other vampire nearer, Angel started down the hallway slowly. It was only a short walk to his office, but to an insane vampire who hadn't left his room in a week it would probably seem rather daunting. Practically dragging Spike to the door he paused before opening it. The younger vampire was shaking.

"Spike?" Looking into his childe's eyes Angel could see the fear. Hugging him to his side he pushed the door gently open. As soon as he saw the sunlight, Spike pulled back and tried to go back into the bedroom. Angel held on round his waist and gently pulled Spike backwards into the office. Closing the door behind him he instantly locked it and let go of Spike.

Immediately after being released Spike rushed to the door and began clawing at the wood. "No. No." he wailed. "Can't stay here. Too pure. Too pure for William. Stop it!" falling to his knees in front of the door he began pounding at it, reciting his mantra as he continued. "Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it..."

Angel was now sitting at his desk watching his insane childe. It was tearing him up inside not to close the blinds and let him be. Or to take him back to the bedroom and let him curl up in his nest he called a bed. "No Spike." He replied. "This is for your own good. You need to understand that you don't belong in the darkness. You are a good man."

"Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it..."

"Spike."

"Stop it. Stop it..." "Spike!"

"Stop it. Stop it. Stop it..." he was now curled up at the base of the door rocking back and forth muttering to himself, trapped in his own turmoil.

"William hush!"

Spike immediately froze. Slowly lifting his gaze, he looked at his sire and tears began rolling down his cheeks. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "William didn't mean to be bad. Teach me sire. Teach me till it hurts." Holding out his trembling hands in front of him, Spike walked on his knees until he reached Angel's desk. Keeping his palms flat upwards and locking his gaze onto the floor beneath him, he took deep shuddering breaths and prepared himself for what was coming.

Angel gazed at his childe. All it had taken was using his real name and Spike had listened. No pain, or threats had been necessary. He might have yelled but it was only because his temper had been wearing thin. He slowly got up from his chair and walked round the desk to kneel in front of Spike. Taking the still trembling hands in his he talked to his son for the first time in a century. "William. I need you to listen to me. You do not need to be punished. You have done nothing wrong. Only bad people get punished and you are not one of them. Do you understand?"

Spike nodded and Angel continued. "You have a soul now, like me. You are a good man. Okay? And I am going to help you understand that." Slightly squeezing one of the hands he held he released the other and tipped Spike's head up so he could see into his eyes. "Do you want me to do that?" Spike nodded again and it looked like he was finally getting somewhere.

"Yes sire. Teach William. No..." he cut himself off and looked back into Angel's eyes. "Help William. Help. Not teach." Angel smiled his first real smile since the week had begun. Finally Spike was beginning to understand.

"There's my boy." He released his childe's hand and pulled him to his feet. "Now first thing's first. Stand here." He stood back up and put Spike in front of him facing the window. When Spike persisted in turning round to find his sire's face Angel turned him back around and slipped his hands around his waist, holding him still. "I'm still here. You know I am. So stop worrying. Now look." Slowly turning his head back Spike did as he was told. "You see? When you're in here, in this building, the windows have been made so the sun can't hurt us." Lifting one of his hands in front of Spike's face he let him follow it through the sunlight. "See? No burning."

"No burning." Spike lifted one of his hands and placed it in his sire's. He watched patiently as Angel slid his and his childe's hands through the sunlight, although he did flinch at first, still expecting the familiar burning. Chuckling slightly he put both hands in the light and moved them back and forth, Angel still holding round his waist as if to keep him grounded. "How do they do it sire? How do they stop William from burning? Burning like it does in the pits of hell. Where William shall go if he's not good. William's not a good man, not a good man at all. William's..."

"William. Hush now childe. Hush now." Angel whispered into Spike's ear. Trying to ignore the insane outburst he took both of Spike's hands and pushed them through the rays again. "It's special glass. Magic glass. Made especially for good vampires. Like William."

"Like Liam?" "And Liam as well. Liam and William are good men. Aren't they?"

Stepping away from his sire and touching the glass with his fingertips Spike began tracing shapes and patterns onto the surface. "Yes. They are."

Sitting back at his desk Angel continued with some paperwork that had made its way there yet still keeping an eye on his insane childe. A few minutes passed in comfortable silence except for the slight squeak of Spike's finger on the glass. Angel looked up to check everything was okay when there was no squeak for a while. Seeing a frown on the younger's face Angel decided to break the silence. "William? What is it? What's wrong?"

Spike looked at his sire with a look of pure confusion on his features. "Why isn't there a mark?" he turned back to the windowpane. "I try to make a difference, but it doesn't show. Why sire?"

Angel smiled and placed a hand over the glass Spike was now scratching at. "Because you need a pen and paper to make a mark silly. You can't write with your finger, at least not on glass if it's not steamed up. Come on. Come here and I'll get you some pencils and paper to use. Would you like that?"

Spike nodded and looked out of the window again. "But no copying from you. Must finish the work and copying means bad. But Liam and William are good vampires."

Steering Spike towards a chair next to his own, Angel let his childe sit down and put some plain paper in front of him. "Dammit." He muttered after searching every drawer and yet not finding what he was looking for. "Boss of an international evil law firm and yet I don't have any colouring pencils. Typical." He sighed and stood up.

Making his way to the door, he paused when he heard Spike give a faint whimper. Turning back he went to kneel in front of the still sitting vampire. "Will, I'm just going outside to get you some things. Okay? I'll be right back. Just stay here and don't touch anything. I'll be right back." He turned back around and this time made it through the door without Spike making a noise.

Locking the door behind him, so no one else could enter and scare Spike, he made his way down the corridor to Harmony's abandoned reception desk. 'It may not be the best time to leave him on his own, but he's got to learn' he reasoned with himself. Checking through the draws and scanning the desk full of unicorns he grinned when he found a pack of pencils.

"What are you planning on drawing?" jerking up Angel smiled at Wesley who was leaning on the desk watching the vampire's every move.

"They're not for me." he answered. "They're for Spike. He wanted to draw things on the window and got confused when there was no mark. How come I don't have any of these in my office?"

Wesley shrugged. "Wait...your office?" when Angel nodded Wesley carried on. "You mean Spike's out of your room? He's actually in your office. Now?" Wesley accepted the vampire's grin as a yes. "Well that's brilliant news. He's doing well."

"Yes he is. He now understands that the sun can't hurt us through the glass as well." Angel picked up the pencils and turned to the man. "Hey Wes. You used to be a watcher. So you wouldn't be as freaked out as other people to see and insane vampire would you?" Wesley shook his head and Angel smiled. "Could you come and see him? I want him to get used to other people. He's only seen me for a week."

"Certainly. I'll come now if you want."

"Great, come on." They made their way back up the lawyer filled staircases of Wolfram and Hart and came to stop outside the door of Angel's office. "Now I know you've read all about Spike's past so you know how dangerous he can be. He's insane and confused so don't do anything unexpected okay? If he tries to hurt you, which he shouldn't, but if he does then don't make a fuss. Just go outside and to the medical department and I'll deal with Spike."

"Angel it will be fine." The ex-watcher soothed. "You tell him who I am, then I'll come and sit down and read a book so he can get used to having more than one person."

Angel nodded and unlocked the door. Turning the handle he and Wesley stepped into the office before he locked it behind him. However when he turned around, he was not prepared for what he saw.

Spike was sitting in the middle of the floor rocking back and forth, gripping his arms tightly, surrounded by a pool of blood. Blood. It was on every surface available in the office. Including the walls, desk and Spike. Fresh cuts leaked blood from his arms onto the floor and adding to the sea of crimson he was sitting in.

Wesley gasped and took a step into the room. Glancing round he froze at the smell of the metallic liquid, it made him want to heave, but he dare not move in case he alarmed Spike. Standing perfectly still, he waited for Angel's reaction, and was not pleased when it came.

"William! What the hell have you done to my office?" he yelled which only made Spike cringe further away.

Hiding his head back in his arms, Spike whispered what he thought was the correct answer. "I made a mark, like a good boy. William is a good boy."

"How exactly does wrecking my office and hurting yourself count as good William? This is bad." Angel was now yelling and Spike's eyes were filling with tears. "Bad William. You hear me? You shouldn't have done this. Look at your arms Will, you hurt them badly, you stupid boy." Dropping to his knees in front of Spike, Angel stopped yelling but continued his rant, anger still lacing his voice. "What am I going to do with you William?"

Spike shivered and pushed himself away from the scowling vampire. "I...I don't know." He whispered. Tears were now cascading down his cheeks onto his already ruined tee shirt. "H...hurt me, beat me, whip me, hit m...me, punch me, kick me, and teach me. I'm so bad. I need to be taught not helped. Bad William."

Spike was now standing up and sobbing hysterically. Huge breaths of air escaped his lips as he shuddered from the tears. "But I didn't mean it. I wanted to make a mark. Then...then..." Spike cut himself off and ran past Angel. Throwing himself into the nearest person's arms, he began crying into their shoulder.

Wesley, caught off guard, almost fell backwards. He probably would have if Spike had weighed anything. Luckily, the vampire had lost practically all of his blood and weight; therefore he was not heavy at all. Indeed it was a miracle that Spike's legs hadn't given way. Keeping his balance, Wesley held the vampire loosely, not quite sure what to do.

Spike was kneading Wesley's shirt with his fingertips, like a cat does with its paws when trying to get comfortable. The vampire's face was buried in the crook of Wesley's neck and tears were soaking his skin through the fabric. Also soaking him was the blood still dripping from Spike's wounds, the liquid was turning his shirt crimson in colour and was staining his skin slightly pink. Spike was shaking uncontrollably and was still trying to speak into Wesley's shirt. "Then...then...then h...h...he..."

Angel had now risen from the bloodstained floor and was trying to control his temper. Taking deep unneeded breaths, he thought about what he had just said. "Shit." He murmured to himself. He had just called Spike bad. All of that trust he had gained in the past week had just vanished. He might as well have just beaten Spike; it would have had the same effect. Now he would have to regain Spike's trust, and the first step was to apologise.

Taking a few steps towards Wesley and Spike, he outstretched a hand and brushed it along the back of Spike's head. Ever since he was a fledgling Spike had found that having his hair stroked was soothing. Angelus had also found this and every time he had found Spike in a state, Angelus used to brush the top of his head to give comfort. However, when Spike felt the fingers on his head, he pulled away and tried to bury his face into Wesley's shoulder, all the while whimpering, "Don't hurt William. He tried to be good. But he's bad, and he's sorry. He's so so so sorry. Please don't. Please, please, please, please..."

Wesley could see the hurt plain on Angel's face and decided to intervene. "Spike? Erm...William?" glad to see he got a reaction from the second name Wesley managed to lift Spike's face and look into his eyes. "Do you want to...to leave here? Go somewhere else for now?" seeing Spike nod Wesley continued. "Let's put you back to bed yes? We can patch up those arms as well..." He was cut off by Spike shaking his head frantically.

"No." he whimpered. "Not there. He comes there and he will hurt the bad boy. Please no. Please."

"Who comes there?"

"Liam. The good man who hurts the bad boys. William's a bad boy."

"Alright Spike." The exwatcher sighed. "You can stay in my office for a bit. I have things you can use to make a mark with. Would you like that?"

Spike nodded mutely and allowed himself to be half dragged, half carried from the office into another one down the hall. Leaving Angel in silence and blood.

How could he have been so stupid? Angel was left to wonder. His childe had been confused since he had arrived. Now he was upset and felt abandoned by the one person who was meant to help him, no matter what. As soon as he had heard that Spike had regained a soul he had got into his car (the viper, of course) and had made his way to Sunnydale.

'Typical' he thought to himself. It had taken him 100 years to deal with his soul, and now he could help someone else, his childe no less, through the same thing. And all he had managed to do was hurt Spike more. Redemption was looking far off. Pressing the button on his communicator he ordered someone to have his office cleared up and back to normal before he got back.

He left the room and made his way downstairs to the main entrance, intent on getting some space to think. However, when he reached the main floor he met the one person that could make things worse. Sighing he looked into their eyes and tried to speak as if everything was normal.

"Hello Buffy."

* * * * *

Wesley couldn't help it. He gave a sigh of relief when Spike finally let go of him and sat at the chair provided. Gathering a few valuables from his desk and placing them elsewhere, he watched as Spike drew on the paper given to him, corner of his tongue poking out the side of his mouth in concentration. Smiling slightly Wesley put the pencils he had taken from Angel and put them on the desk next to where Spike was working.

"There we go." He said as Spike continued, arm around work to prevent Wesley from 'copying' the scribbles. "Are your arms okay? I didn't tie the bandages too tight did I?" Still concentrating on his work, Spike shook his head without looking up. "Good." Finding it hard to keep conversation with Spike, Wesley soon turned to his books for entertainment. After awhile he became aware of someone watching him. Looking up, he saw Spike turn away and carry on with his scribbles.

"What is it?" he asked the vampire.

Sighing and putting down the yellow pencil he was using, Spike spoke the first coherent sentence he had since he arrived. "Can you leave please? I have to finish my work and I can't do it if someone might copy me."

Wesley was stunned for a few seconds before managing an answer. "Well...I don't think I should leave for a while Spi...William. In case you...err...in case Liam comes back." Pleased with his quick thinking, he was disappointed when the insane vampire bested him.

Sighing again Spike picked up the pencil and held it at an awkward angle in his right hand; he began colouring and frowned when it didn't come out neatly. "Liam wont come back." he continued. "He left me once, and he's left me again. This time he's not coming back. Ever. So you can leave. Now."

Frowning slightly Wesley weighed out the pros and cons of leaving. Eventually deciding he could leave the insane vampire alone for a little while he nodded and went to the door. Looking back he saw Spike colouring and it helped to confirm that he was in a better state than when Angel left him. Closing the door behind him, he locked it from the outside and went to talk to an obviously stressed and upset Angel.

First he went to his boss' office and wasn't surprised to find it in the middle of being cleaned with no Angel present. Leaving again he went down the main staircase asking various lawyers if they knew of the vampire's presence.

Finally locating Angel, he found him in the main entrance talking to someone. Getting closer he could see who it was. It was Buffy. The petite blonde was standing in front of her ex, hands on hips and a glare on her face.

When he stood beside Angel, he smiled at the slayer, who also glared at him in a vicious manner. "Where is he?" she spoke with venom in her voice and looked ready to kill. "Xander said you turned up at his flat, he showed you where he was and next thing I know, he's vanished. Where is he?"

Speaking defensively Angel tried to explain without yelling at the stubborn girl. "He's here with me. Safe. Xander told me that you didn't care that he was insane in a basement, and when I got there I could see it was true. Why do you care where he is? As long as he's not in Sunnydale bothering you it shouldn't matter where he is."

"Nor should you." She replied, one hand in her jacket pocket holding something. "When he was in Sunnydale before, you hated him. So why now? Why change? Angel didn't want him and I think Angelus made it pretty clear that he didn't either."

"Because he is my childe!" he yelled, managing to get the attention of everyone in the entrance. "He is mine Buffy and he has a soul. He was good before without reason and now he's equal to me. He just needs someone to help him. And that's what I am going to do. Whether you like it or not."

Shocked at Angel outburst Buffy stood her ground. "You're right about one thing." She continued. "He's equal to you. And you're equally insane as he is. Nothing good can come of this Angel."

"Leave." Angel was now speaking through clenched teeth, trying to control himself and not hit the slayer. "Now."

"Not until I've seen him. I have a right to see him." The blonde replied, hand still on hip and other in pocket.

"You have no right. Now get out and don't come back."

"Angel." Wesley interrupted the verbal battle and took the vampire aside. "There's no use arguing over this. If you don't let her see him, what makes you think your security can take out the girl who has saved the world so many times? Even if they did then she would keep coming back. Just let her see him, then she will leave and you can curse her however much you like."

Taking a deep breath Angel turned back to the slayer who had been trying to eavesdrop. "Fine. You can see him. But if you dare hurt him in any way I swear..."

"Great." Buffy interrupted. "Take me to him."

Growling slightly Angel began up the stairs with Buffy and Wesley following. Walking fast along the hallways, he tried to reach Wesley's office so he could get it over and done with and let Spike be. The last thing he needed was to be plagued with people.

When they reached the door, Wesley got out his keys and unlocked it. He turned around to tell Buffy to let him tell Spike first, or to prepare her somehow. Before he could he was pushed out of the way and the slayer had entered the room. He and Angel followed quickly in case anything happened.

Spike was lying on his stomach on the floor, paper and pencils laid out in front of him. Still doodling, he was oblivious to the fact that someone other than Wesley had entered the office. "Hey Spike." He looked up when Buffy spoke and sat up with crossed legs.

"Hello." He offered politely, not really making the connection with whom this girl was. Collecting up his drawings, he put them into a neat pile and placed them on the floor behind him, careful not to let anyone see what was on them.

"Spike? It's me Buffy. Remember? From Sunnydale, the hell mouth." When she got no recognition from the vampire she sighed and tried again. "The Slayer."

"Oh." Spike kept his face emotionless. If he recognised who Buffy was he wasn't showing it. Angel was silently smiling from the doorway, watching his childe annoy his ex. It was plain that Buffy was getting annoyed with Spike's antics so she bent down and looked at him straight in the eye.

"Look Spike. I'm your friend. I'm trying to help you but I can't if you're here. Angel isn't helping you is he? How about you come with me? If you let me I can make all of it go away." Resorting to talking as if Spike was a child, which he was mentally, Buffy managed to get him to reply to her.

"Make it all go away? Even the voices?" Buffy nodded and Spike grinned at her. "I would like that."

"She can't make it all go away Spike. She's lying to you so you'll leave. Don't listen to her..." Angel interrupted but stopped when he saw Spike finally notice him. The younger had shakily stood up and stumbled backwards, eyes filling with tears he backed away into the wall whimpering.

"Please Liam." He whispered. "I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. Just don't...please don't..." Spike was now frantically looking for a way out, but the only way was through the doorway Angel was in. Finally giving in he let the tears fall down his face and slid sobbing to the floor.

"Oh William." Angel sighed, he really didn't need Spike to cry in front of Buffy and make it look like he was beating him. "Hush now childe." Hoping it would work, he was angry when Buffy turned to him with a smirk plastered on her face.

"Helping him huh? Doesn't look like it to me." Turning to Spike she went towards him and asked again. "I can make it all go away right now. Would you like that? William?"

Wesley could only watch the agony on Angel's face as his only family agreed to leave him. Spike had nodded to Buffy and uncurled from his foetal position on the floor. However, he couldn't help but feel suspicious about the fact that she could make it go away 'right now'. How was she planning to do that?

"Make it go away." Spike whispered. "Forever. Right now." she stood and pulled him to his feet, although he was leaning on the wall, as he was still weak. Buffy smiled.

"I'm going to." She pulled her hand from her pocket and was holding a stake. Grinning, she pinned Spike to the wall by his neck and placed the stake to his chest. "Bye Spike. Have fun in hell."

Spike looked at the piece of wood and furrowed his brow confused. He looked up when he heard a voice over Buffy's shoulder. "He won't." Angel growled and pulled the slayer back by her hair. Throwing her across the room he said the last part while looking at Spike. "Only bad boys go to hell." Spike looked into his sire's eyes and saw what he had been craving for the past week. Love. He smiled and touched his sire's face gently. Angel smiled back and went to touch Spike's face back to show he understood, but before he could he was yanked backwards by Buffy.

Regaining his balance he placed himself between his childe and the slayer. Not wanting Spike to see him as Angelus, he kept to his human features and stood normally instead of in a ready position.

Taking the opportunity Wesley went behind Angel and towards Spike. After checking the vampire over for any wounds from Buffy he tried to pull him away from the where the vampire and slayer were looking daggers at each other. But Spike was having none of it. He struggled and avoided Wesley's arms. Finally giving in Wesley stood in front of the insane vampire in case Buffy reclaimed her stake that Angel had knocked from her hand.

Buffy was standing in a ready position, preparing herself for battle. "Come on Angel. I could have done you a favour. I could have done the world a favour. I just almost staked your childe. What're you going to do about it?"

Still in front of his childe Angel glared at the little woman he thought he had loved. She had changed so much. But being dead and coming back from the dead does that to a person. He should know. Looking back at Spike, he knew that violence would just put him back in square one. Turning back, he spoke evenly to the blonde. "Get out. I don't ever want to see you back here again."

"I don't think..."

"Buffy. Please. What good will it do?" Angel turned his back and went to Spike who was watching the slayer with a questioning look in his eyes. "If he stays here he'll never bother you again. Just leave and let us be."

Buffy lowered her arms and turned on her heel to the exit. Following her Wesley called over his shoulder that he'd come back later. So he could give the vampires some time together.

Letting out a sigh of relief, Angel leaned back and watched as Spike wandered forward to where his pictures were still on the floor. Picking them up he shuffled them into a different order and straightened the ones that had been crushed. "Sire?" he kept his back to Angel when he spoke, as if not trusting that Angel would be there if he looked.

"Yes childe?" Angel went forward until he was barely a foot away from Spike. He was still a bit anxious that Spike was too insane to understand what had happened.

"Will the bad girl go to hell like the bad boys? And if the bad boys go to hell then where do the good boys like Liam and William go?" Angel couldn't stand it any more. Running forward he turned Spike round and hugged him tight. If Spike had needed to breathe he would have suffocated from his sire's grip. Angel held Spike tight and buried his face in his childe's hair. Smelling in Spike's scent he remembered ever detail of his son.

The way he had let his hair grow out and the roots were showing. The way he still smelt of leather and cigarettes despite not having had either for a while. The way he could make Angel feel so many emotions at once. Kissing the hair beneath his chin lightly, Angel pulled away to look at his son's face. The scars were still there from when he had hurt himself and he had dark circles beneath his eyes. Using his thumbs he wiped away the fresh tears that had fallen down Spike's cheeks and wiped away the ones that had fallen from his own eyes.

Sniffing slightly he smiled and released Spike from his arms, only to have Spike run back into them. Patiently he rubbed Spike's back and let him cry into his shoulder. Whispering into his ear Angel pulled him into his arms. One arm under the back of Spike's knees and the other under his arms, Angel gently lifted him from the floor easily and made his way to the door.

"Sire?"

"Yes my childe? My William."

"If...if I go to sleep, will you be there when I wake up? B...because when you...you leave then things go wrong. I don't like being alone. Please don't leave me again. Th...things always go wrong. And I don't like it when that happens."

Entering the still dark room that they both slept in, Angel went to the corner where Spike had made residence. "William my boy. I don't think I can be here all the time. I have to work and help other good people." Going to his knees Angel laid Spike onto the king size duvet he had found and placed the pillows around him like a nest. Checking that all of the walls were covered so Spike couldn't hurt himself in his sleep he continued. "I don't know if I'll be here when you wake up, but I'll try. If I'm not then just wait here, I'll come and check on you every half hour."

"You promise? Do you sire?" Spike sighed as he rested his head down on one of the pillows. Curling up slightly he allowed Angel to cover him with the rest of the duvet. Head poking out from the covers he waited for an answer. "Sire?"

"I promise William. I'll come and find you." Checking that Spike was comfortable he stayed on his knees, combing the soft hair of his childe with his fingers. "Now get some sleep, you've had a busy day." He waited until his childe had stopped breathing signifying his slumber before leaving. Closing the door quietly behind him he checked his watch and made a mental note of when to check on Spike.

Making his way down the corridor he sighed and felt slightly better, knowing his childe was finally beginning to understand. He went to Wesley's office, hoping to catch the man and talk about the events that had happened and going to thank him for being so understanding.

"Wesley?" he entered after knocking and was going to carry on when he saw the expression on the exwatcher's face. "What? What is it?" he looked around the room and saw Gunn, Fred and Lorne also looking at him. He frowned as he sniffed the air. Fear. What the hell? "Guys? What's wrong?"

"These." Gunn lifted a piece of paper. Taking it from his friend Angel saw why there was so much fear. Scribbled down in a corner was a phrase or something that Angel couldn't make out. But the picture was what caught his attention.

It looked as if a five year old had drawn it, but no five year old would have drawn this. Red dominated the picture and there was a shirtless man tied to the floor. Cuts decorated his body and his mouth was open, as if he was screaming. The red blood was in a puddle on the floor surrounding the man, and there were knives and sharp things that looked very dangerous scattered around the edge. The man tied to the floor had blue dashes down his face like tears and the hair was pure yellow in colour. The background was pure black with dashes peering out to gaze upon the tortured man.

Angel couldn't speak. Although a vampire he somehow felt sick at this drawing. No child should be drawing things like this. "There's more." Fred whispered and handed him another sheet of paper. Unlike the other it hadn't been a plain piece before but an important document of Wesley's that had been found by the artist. Angel looked over the new sheet. Again the background was dark and there were red dashes everywhere, but that didn't bother him. The piece that got his attention was the figure standing there.

In the centre of the paper was a man in a dark shirt. He had a smile on his face and a dagger in his hand. The man's eyes were merely slits, as if he was smirking at something. The hair was spiky and sticking straight up and there were lines on the forehead. At the man's sides were sky blue outlines of wings and above his head was a yellow circle. Putting both pictures next to each other he saw how they fitted. The dark haired man was looking over the crying blond one. However, looking up at his friends he couldn't say anything when he noticed the last detail. Both men had fangs.

"Wesley? Did...who...why's it on your work?"

"Spike. It was his work. When I left him here to draw he only had three sheets of paper. I can't find the other two plain sheets, but he must have used them if he moved onto my work." Wesley sighed and looked at Angel. "He may have the others with him. Why don't you go and check?"

Nodding mutely, Angel went back down the hallway to his son. He had left the pictures behind, but couldn't get the images out of his head. Shaking himself before he entered Angel took a breath and went over to his son. Still asleep thankfully he pulled back the cover and began looking. Hidden in his balled up fist were the other pieces of paper. Gently prising them open Angel pocketed them before recovering his son. Thankful that Spike hadn't woken up Angel kissed his forehead and went back outside.

Staring straight ahead he refused to look at the pictures in case he saw anything worse than the other two. Re-entering the office he sat straight down and handed the paper to Wesley. His colleagues looked worried at him. They really didn't need a brooding Angel right now.

Fred immediately went and sat on the arm of the chair that Angel was in and took her friend's hand in hers. "Don't worry." She whispered. "It can't be that bad. It's only pictures. It doesn't mean anything. He'll be fine..."

"Oh my God." Gunn's words didn't help to sooth Angel at all. Looking at Lorne and Wesley Angel flinched when he saw their faces. There was more fear apparent.

"What is it? Guys? Show me."

"Angel-cakes I don't think..." Lorne picked up a bottle of brandy that had been sitting idly on the side. "Maybe you should have some of this first." When the vampire shook his head Lorne just shrugged and poured himself a glass. "Suit yourself."

"Let me see." "Angel, you need to remember that Spike's insane. He didn't know what he was drawing. Fred's right. It doesn't mean anything."

"I said show Me." taking the crumpled pictures and flattening them out Angel could only gasp as he saw the images. On one the two men from before were there. Again the blond man had tears on his face and his mouth open in a scream. Standing behind the blond man was the other. Another grin on his face and his arms were wrapped around the blond's waist. There was blood on the blond man's neck and on the fangs of the dark haired man with wings and a halo. Scrawled along the bottom of the picture was some writing, but it was so untidy that he couldn't make it out.

Putting the first picture behind the other, Angel looked at the next. This was by far the worst. In the far corner of the picture was the blond man again he was crying. The main image was the back of the dark man. In one of his hands was a whip and in the other was a knife. The blond one had more blood around him and writing was on the walls behind him. Again the dark haired man had a halo and wings, only this time the wings were red as if made from fire.

The others were all looking at him expectantly. "I...I need to sit down." He managed.

"Angel? You are sitting down man." Gunn pointed out.

"Oh. Then I need to stand up." Getting to his feet and pacing round the office Angel ran his hands through his hair, ruining the spikes he had perfected that morning. "He hates me."

"No. Angel. Spike doesn't hate you..."

"He hates me. He really does. Don't you see? I'm the dark man. The halo, the wings, the fangs...it's an Angel. Angel. Me. He hates me. All he remembers is me hurting him. Oh god."

Fred stood and grabbed the vampire by his arms stopping his constant pacing. "Angel listen to me. Spike's insane. Maybe it's not you. Maybe it's another vampire called Angel." Pause. "Okay so it's you, but that doesn't mean Spike hates you."

"She's right muffin. For the past week you've been the only one he's gone to. Right?" seeing Angel shake his head Lorne tried again. "Right?"

Wesley cleared his throat. "Erm...actually, today Spike got a bit upset at Angel and came to me for comfort. That was right before he drew these." He gestured at the scribbles. "This doesn't make sense. When he started drawing he seemed happy. Nothing was wrong really. I'm sure he was just confused."

"On the plus side, he's forgiven you now hasn't he?" Gunn reasoned. "It was just when he thought you were mad at him. Everyone does it. We all say things we don't mean, and since Spike's insane I guess he just drew instead of speaking."

"Gunn has a point."

"Which hand did he use?" Angel asked. He took the pictures again and squinted at the writing on all of them. "Even insane he shouldn't be writing like this. He usually is very neat."

"I erm..." thinking back Wesley didn't think he could remember. When do you notice what hand someone writes with? "He was holding it awkwardly. Not like a pencil at all really. Like he didn't know how to hold it correctly. But I think he used the correct hand."

"Correct meaning his right?" when Wesley nodded Angel just smiled. "That's why it's so scruffy. Spike's left handed."

"Let's go to the lab and we can look at the writing under a microscope. We might be able to work out what it says." Leading the way Fred took them to the lab and put the paper beneath her microscope. Looking at the first picture they had found she focused the lens and jotted down some notes. "I can't read it. It's just random letters. And a date...1885 I think."

"What are the letters?"

"Erm...O...c...t. oh it's short for October. Erm, it also says..."

"October 23rd 1885. The first time he left the nest." Angel was facing away from the others and was trying not to let any emotion into his voice. "He was only five years old and wanted to learn how to hunt. Angelus took him. Taught him what to do. How to smell out his prey and scare them first. In the middle of his lesson he wandered off on his own for the first time since being turned. Angelus searched for hours, when he found him he was being held up by the police. Angelus killed them all and dragged William home only to beat the shit out of him and make him promise not to go out alone ever again."

"That's what he drew. Angelus beating him, cutting him and making him learn." Angel nodded. "What about the others Fred?" Wesley continued.

"Erm...A...p...r. April. 1880." she pointed to the one with Angel biting Spike.

"April 8th 1880. The day I turned William from a poet to a killer." Angel sighed. "I don't think you need anymore details on that one. And the other?"

"Erm...F...e...b. February 1895."

"He tried to run away. After Angelus told him not to leave. Angelus chained him to the wall so he couldn't go."

There was a moment's silence until Wesley spoke again. "Why did you say Angelus turned Spike? I thought you and said it was Drusilla."

"That's what Angelus told everyone. William was his Sire's favoured. Angelus valued him above everything and anything. To keep him safe he told everyone that Will was Dru's childe so that they wouldn't try to hurt him as revenge on Angelus." Angel turned round and faced his friends. "I need to know why he's drawn these. Lorne I need you to read him for me."

"Are you sure Angel-cakes? He's confused enough already. Are you sure you want me poking around in there? It might just make him worse." Sipping the drink he had brought down with him, Lorne tried to make the vampire reasonable.

"I need to know. If we do it could help us help him. Please Lorne."

"Alright. But I'm not promising anything. Trying to find a coherent thought in his head would be like trying to find a good song in a Blur concert." Following Angel to his room Lorne prepared himself.

Angel opened the door and lead Lorne and the others in. they had followed, not wanting to be left in the dark. "William?" Angel whispered and went over to the still wrapped up bundle. Shaking him slightly Angel raised his voice. "William? Come on childe, you have to wake up." Pulling back the cover Angel sat by Spike and lifted him from the floor onto his lap. "Come on now. Up you get sleepyhead."

Whimpering slightly Spike opened his eyes and gazed up at Angel. "Sire?" Rubbing his eyes Spike looked around the room and tried to back away into Angel. "Who are all the people sire?" he whispered. "Are they going to judge me?"

"No William." Angel held his childe round the waist and stopped him from wriggling. "These are my friends. They're going to help you. This," he pointed to Lorne, "is Lorne. If you sing for us he can help make you better. He can help make it hurt less. Could you sing for us?"

Spike simply shook his head and buried his face in his sire's shoulder. "I don't want to sing. I'm tired. I want to sleep some more."

"You can when you've sung for us Will. Do you want me to sing as well? Come on." Pulling Spike's face from his shoulder, Angel began to sing 'Three blind mice'. Slowly Spike began to sing along, joining in at the end of each line. Eventually he was singing quietly along with Angel. Stopping suddenly Angel let Spike finish the last line on his own so Lorne could get a clear reading without his emotions interfering.

"...Three blind mice." Spike finished and snuggled up to Angel again.

"Good boy." Angel replied and helped Spike lay back down. Nodding to the others to leave he tucked Spike back in and stroked his hair until he was asleep again. Closing the door behind him he went to his office to find the others. Anxiously waiting to hear what Lorne had seen.

"Lorne?" he asked. Seeing the demon surrounded by the others and with a drink in his hand he came and sat beside his friends. "What did you see?"

"Listen to me Angel-cakes. That is one screwed up kid. Your little boy is confused, so confused that I had no idea what was dreams and what was reality. All I got was a blast of pain, fear, insecurity and a heck of a lot of you. You're all he seems to think about. There were good things to, but also bad. And all of them were associated with you." Knocking back another shot he grimaced as the liquid scalded his throat. "He's gone Angel. Your little boy is lost."

Well Pepsi Max stop your whining. It's up here now. Happy now? Anyway, hope you enjoy this one and review if you want. I know the timelines are screwed up majorly but you can make up your own excuses, I just wanted Angel to be nice to insane Spike, let's be honest, he needs some love. If you want more then please give me some ideas. This was meant to be a one shot thing, but people want more and I need ideas please. Thank you very much for taking the time to read this. Luv, Higgy.