Raffe could sense it before he heard it. Panic. Dread. Terror.
"Raffe." A thin voice laced with worry.
His eyes opened, immediately adjusting to the dark room of the beach house he, Penryn, and Paige had found after escaping swarm of locust-hybrids from the aerie at Half Moon Bay. Raffe half expected Penryn to be standing over him trying to warn him of some unknown terror he had somehow missed. Instead of looking into Penryn's dark, stubborn eyes, the ceiling met his gaze. Turning his head, Raffe saw that Penryn was still curled into a ball on the couch closest to his. Her tiny frame wrapped in an over-sized gray college sweatshirt she found in a drawer, and a red knit blanket he found at the back of a closet. The only one in the house. He smiled at the find, happy to find something to stop Penryn's shivering. Lately she was shivering all the time. It was the one thing that constantly reminded him she was human. He didn't like it.
In the days he had gotten to know Penryn, he had quickly realized that Penryn was a force to be reckoned with, and she was someone he could trust and rely on. The thought of putting his trust in someone else, especially a Daughter of Men, caused his chest to tighten. He knew it was dangerous, but he had always been an adrenaline junkie. Not that Penryn was his fix. She was something more. More than Raffe was willing to admit. Most days he forgot she was human. He forgot she was fragile until moments like these, when she would shiver and call out his name in panic.
In the dark, Raffe could see Penryn's face as clear as day. Her lips barely parted, taking in slow breaths, dark lashes fluttering ever so gently against her pale cheeks, her head cushioned in a halo of dark hair. To anyone passing by, Penryn would look like she was sleeping peacefully, but to his discerning angelic eyes, he could see the differences.
Raffe studied her, registering the small furrow between her brows. The way her breathing hitched and sped up almost imperceptibly. The slightly down turned corners of her mouth. He could even hear her heartbeat speed up and slow down, and right now it was racing. Raffe chuckled softly remembering the numerous times he heard Penryn's heart speed when he got near her. He always kept that knowledge to himself not wanting to embarrass her, but also wanting to keep some secrets. After all, what's being an angel without some mystery? There was plenty about him that Penryn didn't know.
Raffe sat up, keeping his intense gaze focused on Penryn. He hated to wake her. Penryn had been having trouble sleeping ever since killing the angel with burnt orange wings and watching Paige toss Beliel around like a rag doll. Night terrors plagued her. She would thrash and kick in her sleep. But her wail was the worst. A piercing scream filled with loss and devastation that chilled Raffe's blood. Paige had taken to sleeping in another room to distance herself from her sister's pain. Raffe would never leave her side, holding her, trying to keep her from hurting herself, until she came out of the dream. Then keeping a watchful eye on her throughout the night. Raffe would gladly give up sleep to make sure Penryn was safe.
Penryn had once mentioned filing something away in her vault. Raffe knew all too well about his own vault. Even his was bulging at the hinges. He worried that Penryn's was a dam ready to explode flooding her with a lifetime of nightmares. Her fitful sleeps and sadness behind her eyes when awake was all Raffe needed to know that his instincts were accurate.
Raffe wasn't sure if she was having another terror tonight, but it was apparent she was having some kind of nightmare. It was to be expected with everything she went through in the past few weeks. All the death, destruction, and loss she had not only seen, but imparted. It wasn't fair that this magnificent individual had to endure so much. She deserved so much more. A normal life. Free from bloodshed and paranoia. Free from clinically insane mothers, absent fathers, handicapped sisters. Free from burden. But then again this was Penryn. Penryn who had grown up before her time. Penryn who put herself last to make sure her sister was safe, loved and cared for. Penryn who endured abuse and neglect at the hands of her own mother. Penryn who took care of herself and everyone else. Penryn who had to learn to fight to survive even in her own home. Raffe wouldn't want her any other way. She was perfect the way she was - in an annoying sort of way. She was strong. She was brave. She was a warrior.
"My little warrior," Raffe whispered to Penryn. He would never tell her that to her face. How could he?
Raffe stood up, the cool moonlight casting shadows across the sharp planes of his face. Illuminating his broad chest and shoulders. Causing his black demon wings, gliding behind him, to look slick as shark skin in the night. He pushed his dark hair out of his face and walked to Penryn. His deep blue eyes still intensely focused on her, waiting to rescue her at a moment's notice. She didn't have to be alone in this anymore. He would help her all he could.
No matter how he joked, Penryn did save his life. She helped him when his own kind left him for dead. He did owe her. Since that night he secretly vowed to always protect her. Even if they could never be together like he wanted - lives intertwined like the snowy thread and midnight hair on the hilt of his sword - he would be there. Watching.
Raffe sat on the floor beside Penryn's head, gently running his fingers over her dark hair, occasionally brushing her cheek. Another soft whimper escaped her lips, wrapping around Raffe's heart, tugging him closer. His face now inches from hers. Raffe sighed, knowing that with a breath he could close the gap and their lips would meet. Instead he touched his cheek to her forehead, pushing away the dangerous thought. "Shh. It's okay. I'm right here."
Raffe's mind returned to that night in the guest house. The first night he held her close. The first time he had given in to immoral thoughts about a Daughter of Men, and the first time he had to subdue them. After running off the hellions, he was broken down. Worn out both physically and mentally. His chest ached with a dull, hollow pang that only another body could fill. His mind tinkered with the thought of pulling Penryn into his arms, burying his head in her soft hair, kissing her cheeks, easing the pain, but he quickly pushed the illicit thoughts away before they went any further. But when he returned to the living room to Penryn lying on the couch whimpering, he sighed and his heart softened. She was no longer the pesky girl asking a million questions, but someone in need. Someone like him. Compassion and sympathy swelled in him. Not in a condescending - awww-look-at-that-little-girl way - he would never dare feel that for Penryn, she was much too resilient for that - but in a way you feel sympathy for a close friend. Camaraderie. These new feelings surprised him, especially with a Daughter of Men. He had been alone for so long, this was extremely dangerous territory.
At first he had only tried to silence her sounds, comforting her with words. "Hush." He reasoned that he was only trying to avoid drawing unwanted visitors. But with each whimper and shiver that shook her tiny frame, Raffe's armor of isolation and solitude broke down. He looked at her face, his eyes softening, thinking how innocent and beautiful she looked, but also, deep down, she was strong and brave and funny. Someone that kept him on his toes. A fleeting thought of "equal" crossed his mind.
With a shake of his head and some reluctance, Raffe plucked the couch cushions from Penryn's back and crawled behind her, cradling her in his arms. She was small and soft and smelled faintly of vanilla and orchids. She immediately relaxed. Her body folding against his with a sigh. It took longer for him to relax, but like riding a bicycle (or in his case flying for the first time) he pushed the awkwardness away and curled around her exhaling the ache in his chest. A warm comfort flooded his body, relaxing his tense muscles. Before long it just felt right, and the thought of "equal" crossed his mind once again.
"Raffe." Penryn's quiet voice pulled him from his memories. He pulled, looking at her face. Her eyebrows furrowed more severely now, her mouth in a frown. Raffe stroked her cheek before standing to reposition himself on the cushion by her head. He effortlessly pulled her upper body into his lap. Her head resting against his chest. Holding her like a child might hold a teddy bear before drifting off to sleep.
"What are you dreaming of my little warrior?" Raffe whispered against the top of Penryn's head still trying to avoid waking her.
Ever since the night terrors started, he was the only one Penryn called out for, but she would never tell him about the dreams, no matter how much he asked. Penryn would always reply with the same answer,"That puppy dog look will never work on me."
Raffe so desperately wanted to know what haunted his partner. He wanted to fix it. He wanted to protect her from it. In a heartbeat he answered his question with a question of his own. "Why don't you find out?" echoed in his mind. His eyebrow arching in curiosity running over the list of pros and cons.
Curiosity was a funny thing. It was helpful when looking for food and clothes and shelter, especially in this post apocalyptic world, but under normal circumstances, curiosity could be dangerous, after all it did kill the proverbial cat. Raffe imagined running his fingers across Penryn's temple and satisfying that curiosity. What it would be like to stop the night terrors once and for all. To defeat whatever it was that was slowly wilting his small and mighty warrior.
Penryn had jokingly mentioned that she didn't want an angel reading her mind. She was right in a sense, Raffe couldn't read her mind, but he could reach into her mind, if she let him. He could enter her dream, with subconscious permission, and possibly stop her night terrors once and for all, or at least know what was bothering Penryn so he could help in the waking realm. This was nothing like mind reading, though Raffe wished he could know what Penryn was thinking when at those moments when he could feel annoyance and anger pulsing from her. When looked at him with narrowed eyes and arched brows. He would bet his wings that her inner dialog would make a sailor blush. Hell it would probably make an archangel blush.
Penryn shuddered against his chest, and Raffe pulled her closer. His mind warred. Curiosity versus common sense. Penryn would kill him if he walked her dreams, but then again, if he could get in, it was because she wanted him to. In the end curiosity won out, and Raffe tentatively placed his fingers against her temple and was immediately pulled into Penryn's mind.
