Howdy folks! A tale of hurt/comfort a day, keeps appreciation for life alive and droopiness away :D I present you a small, simple one-shot which will hopefully leave behind a happy reader.
Castiel in deep thought, as always. Based somewhere around 05x16 "Dark Side Of The Moon." No direct spoilers as nothing is specifically mentioned, but it you haven't watched it yet, or have absolutely no idea of Season 5, I suggest it's better not to read.
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or anything related to it.
Enjoy and please take a couple of minutes to leave your precious reviews my darling readers :)
Castiel looked outside the window, staring wishfully as he sat in unflustered silence that was so characteristic of his serene nature. He sighed as he pondered on his search for his Father and where it had led him so far.
Nowhere.
He wasn't the slightest bit closer to finding Him and he sighed forlornly, refusing to give up. He would never give up. He believed in his Father. He always did. There was always a sign from Him, sometimes very subtle, but a sign nonetheless. And Castiel would know to never doubt in his darkest hours.
But there was no sign this time. This was a first. For the first time in his existence, the devoted, obedient angel fell lost. Lonely.
After his ties with heaven were severed, he had lost some of his powers and he was facing a difficult time adjusting to the human ways of life on Earth.
Dean's amulet- if it really did work- was not of much help. That must mean that his Father was really out of the picture. Maybe Father had lost faith in man completely.
He leaned back on the chair as he blinked slowly. His vessel's eyes were starting to get uncomfortably dry due to the prolonged stare he had cast towards heaven from his seat. He rubbed the eye-lids gently, taking care of his vessel as much as he could. Like he had mentioned at the time when Jimmy's daughter, Claire, had acted as his temporary vessel, Jimmy Novak would always have the angel's gratitude.
The person who accepted to be his vessel, Jimmy, was a devout man who willingly gave his body to the angel to protect his family and to follow his Father's will. Was Jimmy's sacrifice going to be in vain? What if Castiel could never find what he was looking for?
Castiel continued staring longingly towards the night sky, mesmerized by the stars that were scattered across the dark expanse- yet they seemed strategically placed to form the abstract patterns adorning the dominion under the reign of the moon.
He closed his eyes, letting the scintillating sapphire irises rest awhile as he went back hundreds of years, to a time when the biggest dilemmas were to think of ways to avoid getting the most unruly fledglings assigned to them for training.
Even then, Castiel had never backed down from his allotted task. In a short span of time, he earned the reputation of being the best teacher from the youngest angels. They respected him and never doubted his teachings, even if he was a little on the inflexible side. The growing angels adored and admired him for his devotion and loyalty to their Father. Every angel was loyal, but when it came to Castiel, one could see the faith enveloping the angel in an unmistakable aura. He stood out and was adored by everyone in his garrison.
It used to me my garrison. I no longer belong there, Castiel thought sadly.
His garrison had split and cracked in various awry directions. His brothers and sisters were fighting one another and he was trying to fight them all to make them realize how blinded they had become to one another.
He was so tired. Castiel felt himself almost smiling at the thought. Who has ever heard of angels being tired? The anarchy and war was starting to seep into his resolve and he found it difficult to remain on one side, as he started to become subjected to conflicting questions… Zachariah's taunts echoing in my mind.
How he wished he could get away from all of that, pretend everything was okay everywhere, just for a day?
"Wha- Cas? Hey, what's wrong?"
Sapphire eyes flew open as he turned to the voice.
Dean was tucking his beloved gun back under his pillow as he reached out to switch on the bedside lamp. Rubbing a tired hand over his sleepy eyes, the hunter took a glance at his sleeping brother, whose bed was between his and the chair on which the angel was seated, before turning to look at the angel.
"I'm sorry if I disturbed your rest Dean. Go back to sleep." Castiel answered calmly, hiding all his worries.
"Not unless you tell me why you popped in at- what's the time…" slurred Dean drowsily as he turned his wrist in a heavy fluidic motion, "… three in the morning… Come on Feathers, out with it… you shouldn't keep your angel-sized problems to yourself. Talk it out, like- yawn- Sasquatch slumbering right over there says…"
Castiel looked at his ward and felt an increasing sense of warmth in the area where his vessel's heart pumped… a new feeling of respect.
Oh sure, this intriguing mortal had some strange ideas in his head, but his heart was in his right place. Sometimes, that is all one requires in carrying on one's battles- a strong, stubbornly believing, hopelessly loyal heart.
The angel smiled at the nodding figure of the hunter in front of him, who was definitely not going back to sleep unless Castiel told him something to satisfy his concerns.
"I was just thinking Dean." The angel started slowly, hoping it would be enough to quell the willful hunter's concerns.
Dean let out a long and wide yawn, blinking his heavy-eyes to fight the oncoming supremacy of sleep as he listened carefully to his celestial friend pour out his reasons.
"Go on Cas…" he was nodding off and falling slowly over his side.
The angel noticed the obstinate will of his ward against the onslaught of sleep and slowly pushed his friend to his pillow with a slow telepathic wave of his hand, without getting up from his chair.
"I was just missing my home… my brothers and sisters." The angel confessed quietly, knowing the human won't hear it, as he made the blankets rise and cover his sleeping friend.
He felt like he was back to taking care of the young, naïve fledglings again. He smiled at the memory.
"That's nothing to worry about Cas, you got a family right here…" mumbled Dean from his bed, more asleep than awake.
The angel stopped to look at his ward. Did he hear it correctly? He had no doubt he did, but sometimes the strange human Dean Winchester said the oddest things.
"You are home, right here…" Dean whispered softly, the angel being able to hear only due to his superior hearing, "… but I still get to be the oldest… you are- you're just a baby in a trench-coat…"
There was no holding back now. The angel smiled a rare smile as he embraced the warm feeling radiating in his vessels' heart. He finally knew what it meant like to be a part of a human family. It was an experience the angel couldn't put into words.
But he was fine with that.
"Good night Dean." Castiel smiled at the two sleeping figures before him.
He wouldn't mind taking a couple of human fledglings under his wing for a while. The elder one might protest at the label, but the angel was sure no one would mind.
"Good night Cas… rest your feathery ass okay…" Dean's sleepy baritone managed to drawl out before he let sleep take him over.
Sam shifted in his sleep, turning over to face the angel. Both brothers were facing him. The angel was instantly reminded of his own brothers who always fought over their differences but never hated each other for long.
There was so much they could learn from these two.
Family.
Castiel had received his sign. His Father may have decided to stay away from the chaos and may have left him to fend for his own. But He had made sure the pensive angel wouldn't be alone.
The angel returned to gazing at the stars. His Father had definitely not abandoned them. He was just a little angry with his children and had left to make them see the error of their ways.
He will come back and make everything as it was before the mayhem set in.
Till then Castiel, an angel of the Lord, shall wait.
For, after a long while, he was not alone.
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