It was silent. The only sounds I could hear were my footsteps, the thrashing thunderstorm above my head, and my heart breaking into more pieces. I was soaked. I couldn't help the storm; that's all I was feeling. Hopeless. No light left inside or outside of me. I couldn't do anything about it. My boyfriend thinks I'm cheating on him, my family doesn't know much of what I'm doing, and I have no idea if I'm dark or light. The crazy thing is; I didn't feel dark like a demon, or light like an angel. I just didn't understand! Why did I have to be this way? What made me end this way? I tripped and skinned my knees as the tears fell down my face. The thunder roared and the lightning struck the whole night sky.
Brokenhearted and Out of Place…The one thing I've always wanted most will never be found. I'm slowly slipping into the darkness…piece by piece…one heart at a time. This sadness is an overwhelming power…like a knife to the throat…
I hugged my knees to my chest and set my head on my bloody knees. I just couldn't take it anymore…Uncle Macon was dead. Ethan was in pain. My family was leaving. All because of ME. I continued to sob for as long as my eyes would allow. My face felt raw and my eyes were probably blood-shot red. Not only because of crying, but because I haven't slept in a long while. I was exhausted. I couldn't think straight. I got up, wiped my face with my dirty hands, and continued walking. My knees and heart were aching. Ryan really could've come in handy right now…too bad she can't mend broken hearts. I kept walking towards no destination and heard a voice. It made my heart melt as soon as I heard it but also frightened me. What was he doing here? What if I hurt him? I put my face in my hands and felt arms wrap around me and someone's breath on my ear.
"Lena…" He whispered.
"W…wha…what are you…do..doing he..here?" I barely managed to whisper back.
"I didn't think I was going to find you…but here you are, soaked," He said.
"E…Ethan…it's not safe for you to be here…What…what if I do something…b…bad?" I was holding back tears now.
"You can tuck away your thoughts, you can hide from me, but I'll always find a way to come back to you. Nothing's going to happen," He replied.
He was acting so courageous and sure…I didn't realize I missed him this much until I pushed his arms away.
A single tear fell down my face, but was caught by his finger.
"Leana Beana….come back to me," His voice cracked, he was close to crying himself.
"I…can't. I'm too dark for anyone, I can't do anything! The only ones that can take me are John and Ridley!" I began sobbing again. Didn't think I could get anymore tears out of my eyes.
"That's not true. We all want you back…I don't just want you…I need you, L. I miss your thoughts in my head, I miss your beautiful smile and curly hair, I miss my arms being around you, and most of all, I miss you…" He said sadly.
We walked a little bit until we came into some light. I looked up at his face, and moved the hair from his eyes. His eyes showed sadness and worry.
"I..I miss you…so much…it's just..s..so hard for me..ri…right now…I…n..need you…" I said in between sobs.
Before I knew it, he kissed me. It was that "kiss-in-the-rain-that's-so-weird-but-romantic-at-the-same-time" kind of thing. This was our way of saying we needed each other. I loved him a lot, I was sure of it, but he didn't look like he knew I did. It was amazing; I was actually feeling some sort of happiness again.
He was feeling the electric shock of pain because he pulled away. He cupped my face in his hands and said,
"I love you, never, ever, forget that," He said with a half smile.
"I love you too, I will not forget, and neither should you…" I said with a broken smile.
My heart was ever so slightly and slowly coming together like a puzzle put together by a child.
