A/N: Hey everyone! Thank you for stopping in to read "The War After."
I actually got this idea based on a dream I had one night and then I knew I wanted to write it! I love the game Tales of Symphonia and I thought it would be fun to write a story based on what happened after Lloyd name's the new tree. So yes, this story happens after the end of the first game, and has nothing to do with the second game (which I have yet to play).
For now the prologue is the only thing I am going to post for awhile, one because I have a lot more writing to do, and two because I just wanted to give everyone a sneak preview of one of my stories to come (this one!).
This is actually the first story I have ever written fully in present tense. I thought that it would make the events that much more suspenseful and I really hope you like it!
I would also like to give a special shout out to my beta reader Power9987! He has been an amazing help throughout this process!
Just as a reference:
Present time
flashback
~POV, Scene Location, Time Frame~
internal dialogue (if full sentence) / emphasized words
The War After
Prologue: What the Years Have Brought
~Lloyd Irving, Kharlan~
"I am mana, and I am the giant tree. I am the symbol of the many lives sacrificed to the great seed. I am the new spirit born to accompany the giant tree. And now, the seed has awakened anew along with me."
That is Martel, the reincarnation of the seed of the tree itself. Unknown to us at the time, she was the whole reason we went on this Journey of Regeneration. Knowing how much we learned, and seeing how we are actually finding a way to save both Sylvarant and Tethe'alla to unite into one world again is unbelievable! This became a journey that was so much more than any of us could have imagined. I mean, who would have thought we would meet so many angels, even when most of them turned out bad? Who would have thought the angel transformation was really a complete scam? Who would have thought there was a world parallel to Sylvarant that can only be passed through by reihards? There is just so much that happened up to this point it is still hard to keep any of this organized in my head.
And it is this little tree that holds the world's source of mana, the world's energy supply that gives life to all the creatures of the planet. This spirit Martel is the one that holds all the mana together in the form of the tree. No longer should the worlds need to keep sending sacrifices in the form of a "chosen" just to get the mana supply reversed to have one world flourish again while the other gets forced into a decline.
That was Mithos' twisted world set up. He claimed all he wanted was a world for his sister Martel and him to be happy and as half-elves not to be discriminated against. But he took it much too far. Countless innocent people died because of him. He did nothing more than what people were doing to him: discriminating. I don't think he even knew the value of a life, whether it be a human, elf, or half–elf. He almost destroyed both worlds we know for his precious Derris-Kharlan, which was much too close for comfort in its gravitational pull.
Thankfully that's all over now. The worlds are going to be united into one again.
We won.
And now the little sapling that sat before Colette and me suddenly has started to grow into a grand, marvelous, and magnificent tree; one bigger than any I have ever seen in my life. Sure, maybe it sounds silly to describe a tree in such a way, but just knowing what it stands for, knowing it is my hope and dedication that reincarnated this tree, I couldn't help but be proud. This tree is a symbol of new life. It is the heart of the body of the worlds that keep pumping to keep the rest of the planet alive.
I smile proudly from the thought until I look into Martel's distraught looking eyes. I replace my proud smile with a concerned frown from the fragile look on her face and feel anxious for what she is about to tell us. What could be wrong?
"This is the future form of the giant tree, but right now it is only a small seedling. In its current state, the tree will wither and die." Martel's voice is soft, and a little sad.
No! But we made it so far! There's no way I'm about to give up. Not after everything all of us have been through to get to this point. I don't know how many times one of us almost died. I am very fortunate to have had a fantastic group of friends and allies that would look out for each other. What is even more fortunate is that three of us in our group have healing arts: Regal, Zelos, and most importantly Raine. She was the one that knew how to use resurrection if we were near death.
"So how do we protect it?" I eagerly ask hoping there is something that can be done.
Martel looks at me with a soothing and warming smile from what I asked. Her smile gives me some encouragement that there is still hope, despite her disheartening words from before. "You must provide the tree with love and adoration." Her voice reminds me of a caring and gentle mother, almost like how I remember the voice of my own mother. I smile at that. My mother is the main reason I wanted to go on this journey in the first place: to avenge her death at the hands of the rotten Desians. I'm incredibly happy that I was actually able to accomplish my objective, and a whole lot more. I really hope that she's proud of everything that I've done to get to this point.
I put those thoughts off to the side for now as the beautiful spirit in front of me continues what she was saying. "As long as those conditions are met, I shall always protect the seedling."
I tighten my fist and move it close to my heart glancing at Colette for just a moment. "I promise that if the tree ever starts to wither, I will make sure we won't let it die!"
She gives me another heart-warming motherly smile which makes me return her smile. "Lloyd, on behalf of all living creatures, I want you to give this tree a new name as a proof of the pact. The Giant Kharlan tree was planted here by the elves when they first came as a guardian to watch over and protect them. This newly reborn tree protects those of elves, humans, and the lives of all those caught in between. Therefore, this tree requires a new name."
Wait… me?
I was going to be the one to name this tree? Me? Lloyd Irving? A 16-year-old boy that barely has the capabilities of sitting through one of Professor Raine's lectures without falling asleep? I'm going to be the one to make history? Needless to say, I 'm stunned, so stunned that I almost don't believe her, but her voice echoed with such sincerity that I can't help but take her words to heart. Of course I am also incredibly honored to have the privilege of coming up with a name that all of humanity, and elves, and everyone will get to remember. This is truly a new era. I may have had my doubts along the journey, but to suddenly come this far, I finally have done something right. My mom and my dad—well both my dads—would be proud.
I feel Colette move a step closer and I turn to see her smile up at me, taking me out of my train of thought. "Lloyd, pick a name for us! A name for everyone's tree."
I nod, smile back at her, and take a step back to admire the whole of the tree once more, giving it a full, long look. This tree is the symbol of everything our group worked for.
"So this tree is the link that connects the world?" How curious! I still cannot believe it. This is just a concept so big that it takes a moment to sink in. I think long and hard about what I could possibly name this new tree. "Alright, I got it! This tree's name is…"
I pause one last time to make sure I have the name perfectly thought out in my head. After all, I don't want people to hate the name and I don't want to stumble on a name of something so glorious. "…the Linking tree of Everlasting Equality."
~Lloyd Irving, Kharlan, 5 years later~
And there it is again: the world tree. I make sure to visit it often, keeping a close eye on it. I took my word seriously. I'm going to do whatever it takes to make sure the tree stays alive and well for all of the world's sake.
"It looks like the soil around the tree is really starting to come back to life," Sheena comments with a smile. "I can't believe this little tree can already give off so much mana! It was only reborn what, five years ago?"
Yep, five years. And so much has changed within these past five years.
For one thing, that beautiful woman in the purple with the gorgeous brown eyes and purple hair flowing in the wind is my girlfriend. Watching her kneel before the baby Linking Tree and giving it the nurturing care that it needs makes me smile. We have been together for a little over four years and I couldn't be happier. Not only is she extremely sexy with her perfectly sculpted face, body, and chest, but she also is an incredible fighter with a lot of knowledge, independence, and of course generosity and loyalty. She is overall beautiful in every aspect.
I honestly could not believe it when she agreed to go out with me.
~Iselia, about 4 years earlier~
"Lloyd, you seem distracted."
I hear Colette sigh and I try to force myself to look away from Sheena who is busy training in the field not too far away from where Colette and I are standing. I can't help but stare at Sheena though. She is really hot when she's fighting.
…well she's always been hot from the moment I first saw her.
But the way she fights, mmm!
She's amazingly sexy with that determined look on her face, the way she can call forth summon spirits, and the way she isn't afraid to fight. Sometimes, I can't help but drool at the way her clothes hug closer to her body when she gets a little sweaty, and the way the shoulder of her shirt sometimes slips down, showing off just a little more of her skin, giving me a teasing glimpse of her bra… ooh! It's just breath taking!
Back on the Journey of Regeneration, she always wore such a low cut top where if I wasn't admiring her beautiful face, I could feel my eyes glance down at her well-endowed chest that would just bounce when she moved all over the battlefield. I also loved when her shirt would flap up enough in the wind to show off just a couple inches of skin by her hips.
She definitely has the most magnificent curves everywhere on her body!
"I'm sorry Colette, what did you say?" I ask apologetically.
I see some tears forming in her eyes. I honestly didn't mean to get so distracted as to make one of my friends cry. "So you don't like me in that way do you?"
Dammit! Is she really asking me this now?
I have always seen Colette as one of my closest friends, but nothing more than that. Sure she is pretty, but I couldn't be with someone like her. It just never felt right. It's almost ridiculous sometimes how clingy and dependent she is. One memory that really sticks out is one at the very beginning of the Journey of Regeneration. We were finally figuring out about the Tower of Salvation and what the Chosen's journey means. But looking over at Colette, Genis and I noticed that she seemed to be staring off into space.
I asked if she was excited for the journey. She responded by asking if I was excited, because if I was excited, then she would be excited too.
Really? This was her journey but she wanted to see if I was excited before she said she was?
That memory just really sticks out in my mind because it perfectly summarizes her behavior throughout the entire journey. All throughout the journey she would ask for my opinion on everything before she made her own decision, and honestly, it really got on my nerves at times. Looking back on it, maybe it was just because she liked me and she wanted to try to make me like her by being exactly who she thought I wanted her to be. In all seriousness though, I liked it a lot more when she made her own decisions and showed how brave she could be. Her courage is something that I will always admire her for, and she will always be one of my closest friends. We have an incredible bond. However, I never have had those romantic feelings for her that I know I have for Sheena.
"Colette," I sigh as I look into her eyes. "You know I care about you, and I always will. I see you as one of my best friends… but nothing more… I'm sorry Colette." I truly am sorry too. I love Colette, just not in the way she wants. I see her more like a younger sister that I am looking out for. I rub the back of my neck unsure of what to do now.
A couple tears fall from her eyes as she looks back up at me, making me internally wince. Her eyes look incredibly hurt. Even though I know nothing good could come out of us dating, I can't help but feel like I crushed her hopes. If anything, I know that it is better she finds out now then if we really did date and then finds out I don't feel the same way. Still, I have never liked seeing Colette cry, and what makes it worse that I'm the one who caused those tears. She sighs again before looking me directly in the eyes, causing a few of those tears to trail down her face. "It's Sheena, isn't it?"
"W-what?" I stutter, a bit taken aback by her question.
"It's because you like Sheena," she now states wiping some tears from her face away.
So she knows? Have I made it that obvious? But then why did she still ask me if she knew?
"But…but then why—"
"I just wanted to make sure," she cuts me off knowing what I was about to ask. She pauses for a moment and then looks me directly in the eyes with her same sad look, and I see how serious she is. "Lloyd, I really do like you. But… *sigh* but if she makes you happy…" she pauses to regain her composure before giving me a smile—a sad smile. "If she makes you happy, then I am happy." Her smile seems a little forced, but I can tell she really just wants what is best for me.
I give her a smile as well, trying to show her that I appreciate her effort to be strong. I know this must be killing her on the inside, and I don't want this to ruin the awesome friendship that we have. "Colette, you really are brave." I give her a friendly hug. "Thank you." I really do find her brave. It takes a lot of courage to be able to tell someone your feelings.
It takes a little bit longer than I would have liked for Colette to retreat from the hug, and it seems as though she is trying to make it more like a "loving" hug. My sympathy towards her is slowly starting to be replaced by annoyance. I internally sigh. This is the whole reason why we wouldn't work out. She's just too clingy! She is making this seem like it's more than it actually is! But then again, she is probably hurting inside. I shake my annoyance off and decide to give her a little more time to calm down.
Not too much later, she breaks from the hug and takes a step back. "I guess I should be getting home, grandma had something planned for our family." With a deep breath and then a wave to Genis, she heads back home.
Well that was undeniably awkward. I sigh as I watch her leave. I have been friends with her for a really lengthy amount of time and this is the first time she ever decided to share those kinds of feelings with me. In fact, I remember in school the times she would tell me how cute she thought a guy was because she really didn't have anyone else to tell besides Genis and me. I never really thought she even had an interest like that in me to be quite frank. Though according to Genis, I can't tell when any girl likes me.
Maybe I am being a little harsh, I know she truly does just want what is best for me. I internally sigh. I hope I didn't ruin our friendship...
"Lloyd!" Genis comes up almost scolding me, making me turn to look at him.
"Oh hey Genis, what's up?" Did I do something wrong? Genis is making his patented "you idiot" face to me again.
He eyes me, still looking quite angry for some reason. "Did you know that Sheena started leaving?"
My eyes widen at that. "What? Leaving?! No, she can't leave yet, I need to talk to her!" Disappointment floods through my body as I speak. I didn't see her leave… I didn't even get to say goodbye!
"Well she saw you and Colette in that long lasting hug and she looked heartbroken and started to leave," he states matter-of-factly. His eyes narrow at me, frustration clearly present in his gaze. "I thought you didn't even like Colette, since we both know how much you like Sheena."
Sheena heartbroken? From what? Now I just feel awful. I didn't even mean for the hug to look romantic, I was just trying to give Colette a friendly "thank you" hug. Did it really come off looking that way? Could that really be what Sheena is upset about? Could that possibly mean that Sheena might— might like me too? I slowly start raising my eyebrows at the thought. Could it be? I internally shake my head.
No, that's impossible.
"No, I just told Colette that I am not interested in becoming her boyfriend," I deny instantly. "That hug wasn't supposed to mean anything like that! Which way did she go?" I ask eagerly, wanting to find the purple-haired beauty.
"She headed somewhere in that direction, northeast," Genis tells me. "Are you going to go after her? Are you finally going to tell her how you feel about her? Because I can tell she really likes you, Lloyd."
I freeze for just a moment.
"Really?" I reply, trying to catch my breath at that revelation. My heart starts pounding faster. She really likes me? Why didn't he just tell me sooner? I start to feel my hands getting a little sweaty, and butterflies start forming in my stomach. I am both ecstatic and nervous at the same time. I have this bad feeling that if I try to ask her out now, I am going to make myself look like a gigantic idiot. But I didn't have a choice if what Genis said was true. My eyes suddenly widen, realizing that she is still hurt and running away.
"Oh my God! I have to find her!" I am going to find her and I am going to tell her how I feel and ask her out, no matter how stupid I look. It's set in my mind.
I start running in the direction Genis told me. Oh I really hope she didn't get too far yet! I think to myself. I invited her to come hang out with us only for Colette to drag me away to talk to me privately for too long. Now I feel bad, except for Sheena this time. Am I just going to ruin everything with every girl I care about today? I must have left Sheena waiting for what felt like an hour. In reality it was probably only 20 minutes, but I admit that I don't have the best attention span in the world. However, I notice it is starting to get dark, and I suddenly realize that it is nearly sunset.
"Sheena!" I call out, hoping with all of my heart that she can hear me. "Sheena, where are you? Please answer me if you can hear me! I really need to talk to you!"
No answer.
I sigh. Where is she? "Please Sheena, I need to talk to you! I'm incredibly sorry if I hurt you!" I start running faster, desperately trying to find her.
It almost seems hopeless. The sun is setting further and I have yet to find her. But I am sticking to my word, I am going to find her, even if it takes all night! I keep frantically searching for her, looking in every direction still going the way Genis directed me. I start to run out of breath. I wipe some sweat off my face, all the while still turning my head in every which way like a dog trying to find the toy that was hidden from him. I start walking a few steps further.
Then finally, as if by some miracle, I see her up ahead. I am in awe to see how beautiful her silhouette looks in the sunset. I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding; however, my relief turns to deep concern as I see her standing there. She is leaning up against a tree with her head on her arm, and… quivering? Is she quivering?
Oh God! What did I do to her?
She doesn't turn around as I approach but quietly says my name. "Lloyd, what are you doing here?"
It pains me just to hear her like that. Genis was right: she sounds heartbroken. It is obvious she is trying to hide it but I can tell from her tone of voice that she's hurt, yet surprised that I'm now standing behind her. I want to reach out and hug her from behind, but instead I turn her around so that she is at least facing me.
"Sheena, I should have told you sooner…" I start to explain to her, but then she turns away from me again.
"It's fine," she replies quietly again, though I can also sense a bit of something else there too, but what? I don't have time to investigate further in my head as I hear Sheena hopelessly sigh. "You are dating Colette now, that's fine. It's not like it's any of my business. You didn't have to run over here just to tell me that." There is a bit of a pause before she forces herself to say one more thing to me. "Go be with her."
My eyes widen. Does she really believe that? Dammit! I really did already start messing this up didn't I? She already assumes that I am dating Colette. That's not what I want her to think at all. I want to be with Sheena so badly, more than she probably knows. "No, that's not what I was going to say at all! I mean I should have told you sooner how I felt about you. Sheena," I pause as I take a deep breath. It's now or never. "Sheena, I like you a lot."
Now it's her turn to have wide eyes. "Wait, what? But… I saw you with Colette…"
"And I just got done telling her how I don't have feelings for her in the way she would want me to. Colette is my friend, nothing more. No, it is you that I am interested in Sheena," I decide to be up front with her. No more mistakes. "And that hug, it wasn't supposed to be anything more than a 'thank you for understanding' hug. She got a little clingy and it probably looked like more than it actually is. I was just trying to comfort her from the pain, and I am truly sorry if I hurt or confused you."
She finally turns around of her own free will to look at me. Her eyes are wide and disbelieving, and I must say that she looks absolutely adorable like that. I smile seeing that the hurt that was in her eyes has ceased. "But how did you know that's why I left?"
"Honestly, Genis told me." I sigh, scratching the back of my head in slight embarrassment of my oblivious nature. "I wish I would have been smart enough to figure out what was happening on my own, but I guess I am not all that good at reading people's feelings. I am sorry again, but that is why I came running after you."
I pause for a moment to gather my thoughts… and my courage. Again, I just need to be straight up with her at this point. Still, that doesn't mean it will be easy. I close my eyes, suck up my apprehensive thoughts and decide to just say it. "Sheena, I need you to know just how much I like you and how beautiful I think you are." I look up at her face, hoping with every fiber in my body that she accepts my words.
Her face starts turning red as a beautiful blush develops across her face, and the way she is standing is absolutely perfect with the sun setting behind her, outlining her flawless body in a soft, golden glow. Her eyes suddenly look up at me and I immediately look back into her eyes. I am surprised to see a softer side of her, but in a good way. Her eyes are shining bright, and I can see her lips start to form into an embarrassed sort of smile that shows off those adorable dimples.
It is a look that I will never be able to forget.
But then she suddenly looks down at the ground, hiding that rosy red blush. I can't resist anymore. She's just too beautiful. I know I was originally going there just to ask her out but there's something very important in this moment that I just need to do.
I instinctively lean in closer, slowly approaching her. I put one hand under her chin to aim her face back up again, tucking a piece of loose hair behind her ear before moving that hand behind her head. My other hand carefully touches her hip and hesitantly rounds her back before I pull her body next to mine…
And then I gently kiss her.
It's a sweet kiss, one I can definitely tell she wasn't expecting. For a moment I wonder if she even wants this, and I instantly start to scold myself for not being able to control myself. But then her lips start to move with mine, and I realize the most amazing thing.
She's kissing me back!
I feel her gradually wrap her arms around my neck as we kiss, feeling my heart soar as she does so. My dream girl is kissing me back! Sheena likes me! I go into a state of euphoria like none other and I suddenly feel like I could fight Mithos all over again and kick his whiny ass to Derris-Kharlan and back without even trying! I close my eyes and tune out the rest of the world, focusing solely on her and this moment.
Unfortunately this glorious kiss can't last forever, and I very reluctantly pull back to take a few breaths, internally whining at the separation of our lips. That was the best feeling that I have ever experienced! I may have just become addicted to Sheena's kisses because the only thing I can think about, the only thing I want to do right now, is kiss her again. I open my eyes and look at her, and I can see that she is flushed from what just occurred between us.
However, there is one more thing I need to do.
"Sheena, I need to ask you something." That kiss told me everything I ever wanted to know about how she feels about me, but I still need to make this official. "Will you be my girlfriend?"
She smiles brightly, lighting up my whole world as she replies, "Yes, you idiot."
I grin like a complete dork before her lips contact mine once more, sending me all the way back to cloud nine.
I check my pocket to make sure I still have everything I need, and when I'm positive everything is there, I walk over by Sheena. I thought of this as one possible place to do what I'm planning on doing, but there's somewhere else I have in mind. Everything should already be set and ready to go.
"Sheena, there is actually one more place I had in mind to go to today," I grin.
She dusts her knees off and stands up. "Oh, and where might that be?"
"You'll see," I tease her as I head back towards the reihards.
Reihards have become slightly more abundant within the past few years. Not for traveling between worlds like it once was meant for, but for personal traveling. Of course, the reihards that we are currently using are still the same ones we had back on the Journey of Regeneration. And even more helpful is having Sheena's pact with Volt for when we need more of an energy supply for them. I believe the new reihards use something similar to that kind of energy, sort of like an electric car. Though I have heard the batteries in those deplete very quickly, making me more glad that Sheena can summon spirits.
But I digress. It is time to take Sheena to this "secret" location. It's not so much a secret as in a place she has never been before, just secret for what I have prepared. It's a place I'm getting a little more anxious to take her to, hoping everything goes according to plan.
This is it.
This is going to be a big moment.
After a bit of flying, I home in on our location. "Do you recognize it yet?" I ask her curiously.
Sheena looks around for just a moment, taking in the location. "Lake Umacy?" She answers, sounding a bit surprised, not that I can blame her. I only take her here for incredibly special occasions as it has an almost holy quality to it. "Of course I recognize it. This is where we found that unicorn. It's where we had one of our first dates and then our one year anniversary. A lot of good memories happened here," she smiles fondly as she recounts those events. "So what brings us out here today, just out of curiosity?"
"Well," I quickly start my response before anything sounds too suspicious. "Remember how the unicorn gave its life to give us its horn? Well, Professor Raine told me she came back here not too long ago and saw a baby unicorn. Maybe it's the new life the other unicorn brought about when it passed on."
"A baby unicorn?" Sheena exclaims excitedly, her chocolate eyes lighting up at the thought.
No, Sheena isn't extremely girly, but it is obvious she has a soft spot for animals. Plus who ever gets the chance to be able to witness the sight of a unicorn often anyways? They are extremely rare! The only other time we have ever seen a unicorn was on our Journey of Regeneration five years ago, and boy was it special! It gave Professor Raine her newly found healing arts, which taught her the useful ability of "Resurrection", an incredible feat! The unicorn really is an unbelievable, majestic creature.
"That's right sweetie, a baby unicorn," I smile, knowing how excited she just got.
Not too much longer now.
The moment has almost arrived. I feel myself getting nervous now that we are actually here. I carefully lower the reihard down to the ground to land near the outskirts of the Lake Umacy area. Once we get off of the reihard, I securely put it away in its wingpack, putting it in my other pocket, and take Sheena's hand. We walk over to the main area of the lake, hoping the baby unicorn is around.
As we get closer, I let off an internal sigh of relief as I start to notice everything is indeed in position like I had planned.
There are a bunch of rose pedals laid out near the water, the baby unicorn is thankfully in sight on the other side of the lake where it was before, and I see the couple speakers set up, yet not in too noticeable of a spot. The lake is surrounded by other flowers that have just started to bloom since it is the middle of spring. As for the weather, it is fairly warm but the sky has some clouds that suggest it might soon rain. I glance over at Sheena to see if she is suspecting anything.
"Rose pedals?" A look of confusion crosses her face as she gets closer and looks down at the ground.
"Odd, isn't it?" I try to sound nonchalant. "But look on the other side! It's the baby unicorn!" I point out in an effort to distract her.
She glances over to the other side and low-and-behold, she spots it. She looks ecstatic. "It's beautiful!"
And it really is. The precious little unicorn is lying down, sleeping. It looks so content and peaceful. I smile a little bit distracted until I feel a raindrop fall on my face. I internally groan. Of course it would start to rain now. But as I think about it more, rain can't ruin my mood. This is going to be a romantic moment no matter what happens! I manage to convince myself. Maybe it is just here to give some added flavor to the moment.
"Well, there is actually one other thing that could make this moment even more beautiful," I remark as I slyly reach into my pocket to press "play" on my music device.
"You mean like the rain to stop?" Sheena jokes until she hears something she clearly was not expecting. It is priceless to see her face go from one of her teasing nature to one of her confused looks. It isn't often that I'm able to do something to confuse Sheena; usually it's the other way around. Her expression is just so adorable and I almost forget what I need to do. I feel myself get a little heated up. I just hope I don't stumble across my words. I hope I remember everything I need to say.
The song "Marry Me" by Jason Derulo starts to play on the speakers I have set up on both sides of where we are standing. "A hundred and five is the number that comes to my head when I think of all the years I wanna be with you. Wake up every morning with you in my bed, that's precisely what I plan to do."
Sheena is undoubtedly surprised as she looks around trying to figure out where the music just started coming from. She doesn't really seem to pay attention to the raindrops that are currently starting to pick up as she determinedly tries to figure out the where the source of the music is located. Her eyes widen as she realizes what is happening and looks down at me. Her face is full of so much surprise when she sees that I am already down on one knee in front of her. She quick slaps her hand to her mouth as her beautiful eyes glisten from the water forming in them.
"Sheena Fujibayashi," I pause and I start to get extremely nervous. I lose what I was planning to tell her. Everything is leading to this moment but now I can't seem to find the words anymore. She is going to hate me! I gulp thinking that I am completely screwed. Why now?
WHY?
I feel my world start to fall apart because I am blowing what is supposed to be the most romantic moment of Sheena's life, and Sheena means everything to me! The rain hits me a little harder and I glance up at my gorgeous girlfriend hoping there is a chance she could forgive me, but then I realize the most amazing thing.
Gazing into her eyes, I realize I didn't need to plan what I was going to say after all. The only thing I had to do is admire the woman standing before me, and the wonderful memories of her come rushing back to me. Who needs to memorize some speech word for word anyways? That's not love. The nerves that I once felt all vanish just from seeing her face. I know in my heart this is exactly where I want to be. This is what I want to do. Sheena is without a doubt the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, the rest of all eternity with.
All I have to do is speak from the heart. I take her hand and let my heart do the rest.
"From the first time I laid my eyes on you, I thought you were the most stunningly beautiful woman I have ever seen. I even wondered for a moment if you were a goddess, though of course in my eyes you are a goddess," I beam up at her just speaking the truth. The tears she was holding back now start to leak from her eyes.
Oh God is she beautiful! I moan in delight.
"But, the only thing that could possibly beat the external beauty you possess is your holy personality. You are strong, independent, generous, determined, and willing to accept help even if you may not need it. You have such a high spirit that it has brightened up my world in so many ways I would have never thought possible. When you combine all of this along with your physical beauty, I can say with absolute certainty that you are the most perfect individual in the universe, and the one individual that I love with all of my heart," I feel how true all of these statements are as I express them to her. There is absolutely no one that could be a better match for me.
"Sheena Fujibayashi, will you marry me?" I ask with a wide smile and a diamond ring now held up to her.
She takes a moment to let it all sink in as tears now flood out of her eyes. Those tears that she expresses while her face lights up can only mean one thing. I watch her intently realizing I could watch her face for hours on end without getting even slightly bored. Her expression to my pronounced love is everything I could hope for. My heart pounds five times faster than I thought it was even capable of. Now I just need to hear the word and I could forever be with the woman of my dreams.
She nods as she wipes away some tears. "Yes! Yes, Lloyd I will marry you!" She is slightly shaking from what I am assuming is her astonishment from the whole situation.
It was a success!
She said "yes"!
The song from the speakers proceeds to play singing the words "Will you marry me? I swear that I will mean it, I'll say 'will you marry me?'". During this moment I take the shiny engagement ring out of its box and I pull Sheena's left hand closer to me, slipping the ring on her finger. An almost perfect fit. Maybe I was just off by half a size, I'm not sure. All I know is the fact that she allowed me to place that ring on her finger means she would soon be my wife.
Mine!
And I would be her husband! Sheena would take my last name and become Mrs. Sheena Irving.
That name has the most beautiful ring to it, no pun intended.
I look up once more at the sky that is dousing us with rain and notice something spectacular. A rainbow is forming above the lake. This perfectly sums up how I was feeling: even through all my doubts and negative thoughts of failing, Sheena, my rainbow, is there to show me the light.
My eyes focus back on Sheena.
I stand up pulling her into a hug and spinning her around once before setting her back down. I start to make my way towards her lips, but before I fully get there, she meets me half way, together forming a sweet and passionate kiss. The only thing I can focus on is the sweet taste of her lips, the passionate love we are sharing, and the light heat I am feeling coming from her body. Though she could be closer. I wrap an arm around her back and pull her in closing any inch of space between us. There must have been an angel watching down on me when it decided to send me Sheena.
We stay together in the kiss for a long time expressing just how much love is in the air and in our bodies. As I kiss her deeply and passionately, I can't help but think that I am the luckiest man in the universe.
~Raine Sage, Meltokio, Tethe'alla~
I can't believe it! Positive? I am actually pregnant?
I keep looking at the pregnancy test staring at it like if I take my eyes off of it for even a second it will change. Pregnant. This would explain why I have been waking up in the morning feeling sick for the past week. No I didn't tell him that I was feeling this way. I don't think he would expect it either. It's not like this is something we planned just yet, but that's the way it goes sometimes. I am going to be a mother.
He should be getting home anytime now, and then I can break the news to him. I don't know for sure whether or not he will show excitement, or perhaps he will freak out. Does he think we are even ready for a baby? Does he think that together, we will be able to raise a child? One thing I know for sure, I express all of the above thoughts.
I put the pregnancy test into a plastic bag, zip it up, and put it off to the side in the bathroom for now. This is not something I expected to be happening yet. I am starting to lose my composure just thinking about this, yet at the same time I can't help but be excited. Soon there will be little feet wandering about the house, and I will be a proud mother. I smile at the thought. Thinking more on how my husband might react to the news, I honestly think he would react the same way as I just did. So many emotions just flowing out at once: maybe that just shows how similar our thought processes can be.
I go down to the kitchen where Sebastian, the butler, is currently cleaning. "Mrs. Wilder, can I get you anything?"
"No it's okay, I was just going to get a glass of water," I assure the friendly butler.
Okay so really my name right now is Raine Sage-Wilder. Sometimes I am still called Mrs. Sage or sometimes Mrs. Wilder. I don't really mind which way it is, though Zelos might beg to differ. He would much rather hear either Sage-Wilder or just Wilder at the end of my name. It's not that he doesn't like my maiden name, but he loves hearing his last name being associated with me. He likes knowing that I am his and will tell anyone that he doesn't have any intention of sharing. I laugh at the thought: he is so silly. Of course, I would never want to share him now that he is my husband.
Either way the fact is I am married to Zelos Wilder.
Yes, the same Zelos Wilder that used to be a playboy.
Occasionally I find myself looking back on how it is that I managed to change the heart of an ex-playboy. Someone who is so high up in class, he is next in line after the royal family. He was the last Chosen of Tethe'alla. Of course, chosens aren't needed anymore with the reincarnation of the Linking Tree.
Still, I am a half-elf. For the longest time in Tethe'alla, half-elves were at the very bottom of the caste system. They were basically shunned, as people were taught the hybrids of humans and elves were "dirty, filthy creatures" as Zelos explained. However, laws have started to change in Tethe'alla after the reincarnation of the tree. A new era as we all call it. The Pope is no longer in command, and a new law passed just a couple years ago that was to give half-elves the same freedoms as everyone else. Needless to say there are still those that prejudice against us, but there are also those that welcome us with open arms, as well as all of those in between.
So given all this info, back then I never would have expected to have fallen for him, and I never would have even imagined that he would eventually fall for me. It took a lot of time and patience but a close friendship started to develop into something more.
I used to just be the girl he would get advice from, the girl he shared knowledge with—it was impressive actually, how much knowledge he possessed. We were able to click as good friends from the first night I discovered how intelligent he really was, discovering a different, less egotistic, side of him.
Then he did a really kind thing and invited Genis and I to stay at his place. He knew that our house was burnt down and we didn't have a place to stay for the moment. He even let Presea stay there too. He said it would be a nice change to finally have some friends in the mansion with him. So we ended up doing just that: the three of us moved in.
However, I started falling for him about a year or so after moving in. I wasn't quite sure why specifically I was going after a playboy, but I assumed it was a combination of all the time we were spending together, his marvelous brain, his magnificent sense of humor, and his god-like looks as the icing on the cake. I was seeing a different side of him that I had never seen previously. I noticed that when we hung out by ourselves he could be more gentle, compassionate, and even more hysterical than usual, leaving me laughing basically every time.
I wanted to be with Zelos.
That Zelos. Zelos' true inner self.
It got to the point that sometimes it would hurt when he would tell me about the latest "hunny" he brought home. It also hurt when he would joke about how one day I would be that "hunny." Honestly, I wanted that: I wanted to be his "hunny."
But not in the same way he did.
He was the kind of guy that just slept with his "hunny" and went on with his life. I didn't want to just be another numbered "hunny" to him. I wanted to be his one and only "hunny," the one that meant everything to him. Sometimes my feelings for him hurt me enough when I was hanging out with him, but I knew that if I ever gave in to them, I would be hurting even more, especially if I was living under the same roof as him. What he needed then was a friend, not just another girl to sleep with.
And for a couple years, I was that friend, nothing more. No matter how much I wanted it to be more, I knew staying his friend is what he needed back then because honestly, I felt that that was what was missing in his life. He would just use sex and drinking as a way to try and fill his empty hole.
But he must have realized that himself for that to change.
~2 years ago~
Zelos is calling again? What could he want at this hour?
I pick up the phone, "Hello?"
A drunken Zelos answers on the other line. "Ahh Raine, my voluptuous, gorgeous hunny, I'm glad you answered."
I sigh. Oh dear, why is he so drunk again? I really worry about him sometimes. He has been getting drunk more often than he ever used to before within this last month. It just so happened to be in the month I haven't been able to see him. I was off on a mission trip with my brother, Genis. We were exploring the Balacruf Mausoleum in greater depth.
Zelos always tells me that I shouldn't worry about it: everything is fine. But before I left, he stopped sleeping with as many girls and finally started drinking less. Though usually those two went hand-in-hand for him. When he would drink too much, that's when he would end up with another random girl in his bed.
But I am worried. It sounds like he is reverting back to his old ways again. "Zelos, have you been drinking again?"
"No," he replies, laughing. "Okay, maybe a little. So listen, you should come back to my place and we can have some fun," I can almost hear the smirk in his voice.
Why is he doing this? "Zelos, you know I won't be back for another few days. Why do you keep drinking so much?"
"I'm not drinking so much, you're drinking so much *hiccup*." I internally roll my eyes at his childish behavior, completely frustrated at the moment but expecting nothing less from a drunken Zelos. "Come on, please? My bed is lonely," he tries convincing me, his voice carrying a whiny tone in his drunken state.
Okay, this has got to stop! "Zelos, I'm worried about you. Before I left, you were finally drinking less and you slowed down on the random one-nighters. You had even told me that you were becoming more content with life to the point that you didn't need to drink and have sex every night to feel satisfied.
"But now listen to yourself. You are drunk again and you are calling me to try and get me to sleep with you. Zelos, you can't keep doing this. This isn't fair to me. You have been calling me drunk much too often these last few weeks." I almost cry on the other line. I miss him, but I don't know how much more of this I can take. His drunkenness is messing with my feelings.
"But I miss you. I really want to see your pretty face again." He sounds particularly whiny with that response, which leaves me unconvinced.
"Do you really, or do you just want another girl to sleep with?" I counter harshly as I wipe away some tears.
"Common!" He complains, and now it sounds as if he's pouting. "There hasn't been a girl here since you left besides Presea."
I pause as I hold the phone to my face. Did he just say there hasn't been a girl there since I left? I can't tell if he is telling the truth or just trying to pull a fast one. But then again, he is drunk. Don't they usually say drunks tell the truth? And wouldn't he have been telling me about girls that he had over like he used to if that really was the case? So this time his drinking wasn't going hand-in-hand with automatically sleeping with someone. Though it is still sex related; he did still call me wanting me to sleep with him.
Then I think about it more. This only just started happening again within the month I left. I would have known if it happened before I left; after all, I live there too. Has there really not been another strange woman in the house since I have been gone? Is it possible that Zelos has just been thinking about me the whole time I have been gone? Would that be why I keep getting drunk dials from him so often now?
I drop the phone.
Am I the reason he has starting easing off on all the alcohol? Have I really been filling the hole that he used to fill with excessive drinking and meaningless sex? The evidence all points towards this assumption. Can it really be possible though? Have I actually managed to change Zelos these past couple of years?
"Raine? Where did you go?" a muffled voice is heard coming from the floor where I dropped the phone. I realize that I blanked out there for a moment. I pick up the phone, catching his next words. "At least let me hear your voice again."
Listening to Zelos right there, he sounded so desperate. My heart starts racing in anticipation, but there's only one real way I'm going to find out if what I'm speculating is true, and unfortunately, it's going to have to wait. "Zelos, when I get home we need to talk. And while you are sober."
"Can't we talk now?" he pleads pathetically.
"This needs to be a face-to-face conversation," I answer curtly. "And anyways I should be heading to bed."
"Please don't hang up yet!" Zelos suddenly exclaims through the phone. I am taken aback by how completely loud and desperate he sounded at that. "I love you Raine! And I hate you not being here."
My heart skips a beat, and I almost drop the phone again.
He just said "I love you" to me!
I almost feel like I am at a loss for air, and I find myself having a difficult time to get my heart to stop beating so fast. I am absolutely speechless. I have dreamt up many different scenarios where Zelos would profess his love to me, but him shouting it out to me over the phone in a drunken state was not one of them. Though in a way, this is the most realistic for Zelos.
Still, I am having a bit of a hard time breathing now. How can I know whether or not he means it? Again, the only way I would be able to find out is if we talk in person when he is sober. Nonetheless, if what I'm hypothesizing is true, and he really wants to be with me, then he would have to do it my way. The relationship would have to slowly build to show its sincerity.
Now my heart is just pounding and my head is spinning with the possibilities that conversation could lead to.
"I miss you too Zelos," I finally reply, deciding to keep quiet about my feelings for him for the moment. That will be something for our conversation back home, plus right now it is taking all of my concentration just to keep my voice steady. "And I promise we will get to see each other soon. Please behave for me," I joke yet also really mean at the same time, smiling as I hear him laugh on the other end. Letting off another breath, I continue. "See you in just a couple days."
With that I hang up the phone, trying to catch my breath.
I can't wait to get back home.
~3 days later, Meltokio~
"Gees Raine, you look really distracted," my brother comments, sounding concerned. "What's on your mind?"
Genis and I have just arrived back in Meltokio right outside of the mansion. I scratch my head as I look at Genis. In all honesty, I am distracted, but could you blame me? I'm about to find out if the man I have been thirsting for actually has feelings for me! "You wouldn't believe me even if I told you."
"It's Zelos isn't it?" My eyes widen in shock.
How did he figure it out?
He gives me a look like everything is written all over my face. "Don't look so surprised Raine," he continues, sounding slightly offended as if I'd insulted his observation skills. "Presea and I have both noticed something changing. I know you have had a thing for him for a couple years even. It's obvious the way you look at him and even the way you talk about him sometimes." What? He's known for a couple of years already? I give my brother props; he is more observant than I gave him credit for.
"Even Zelos now is acting different." Genis continues, which makes me even more surprised. What has he been noticing about Zelos? Has my crush been noticing everything Genis has said about me? "He looks at you more like he longs for you, not just as if he wants a quick thing with you. Sometimes I really hate the guy, but I genuinely think he wants to be with you."
Wait… really? I look at him as if I want to say something, but no words come out.
"Trust me. I wouldn't say it if I didn't think it was true," he admits, as if he read my mind. "And think about it, the last time he had a girl over he paid more attention to you then he did to her. I don't think he ever even invited her in his room! I remember her leaving pretty early because Presea and I were on top of the stairs when we saw her leave."
I am astonished at how much Genis was able to pick up on. Is love really that blind? Maybe I have just been telling myself that we will never be together so much that I eventually started to believe it myself, and in turn I have not been able to pick up on any of the hints Genis just mentioned, or even the hints that I only just thought about a few days ago.
"It was that obvious, huh?" I look down at Genis, not knowing what to say. After all, what else do you say after you just found out that your little brother was able to see straight through you when you thought you were doing a good job at hiding your feelings?
My brother rolls his eyes. "It was incredibly obvious, although I don't think Zelos knows about how you feel…" I sigh in relief at hearing that. At least I was able to hide them from the one person that I wanted to hide them from.
Genis then looks me pointedly in the eyes, and I'm taken aback by the seriousness in his gaze. He hasn't had a look like that since the Journey of Regeneration. "I know that Zelos is a good guy, and he's been incredibly welcoming, even to us, but when it comes to girls, I still don't trust him. And Raine, you're my sister… so if he ever hurts you, I don't care how awesome he's been to us, I'll burn him to a crisp for real!"
I can't help but laugh at that, and Genis smiles at me. "Just—just promise me you will be careful, okay Raine?"
I look down at my brother's face, shocked by what he said. I know that he tries his best to look out for me, but I honestly have a hard time not seeing the little baby that I cared for and raised back in Sylvarant sometimes. Normally I'm the one protecting Genis, but it seems that this time he's trying to protect me. It's actually quite endearing, and I can't help but pull my not so little brother into a heartfelt hug after hearing that. While I don't think I need to worry about Zelos, Genis does have a point. All I have to do is picture him in my position liking one of Zelos' "hunnys."
I shiver at that thought. No, just no!
"I promise I'll be careful Genis," I reply, pulling back from the hug. "I actually told him we needed to talk about it when we got back—"
"Raine!" I almost finish my statement before getting cut off, and I turn my head to gaze at the perpetrator, which is none other than the man of my dreams himself. "I knew you were coming back today! I thought I heard you guys outside," Zelos grins as he walks down the front steps of his mansion. "And of course the little brat is back too," he adds, more jokingly then anything.
"Gee, good to see you too Zelos." Genis rolls his eyes as he heads inside.
"What?" Zelos laughs. "I was just kidding." He then looks back at me. "How was your trip? It was really quiet here without you and Genis. There is only so much I can get Presea to say at one time. I swear Genis might be one of the only ones that can get her to talk more."
And that was true. Though Presea and Genis are not dating they are really close friends. She seems the most comfortable around him out of any of us.
But now for the matter at hand.
"It was good, very informative." I answer honestly. "I learned even more about the Balacruf Mausoleum and got to take part in some more rituals involving it. It was a marvelous experience so I am glad I was able to partake in it, but at the same time I am glad I am back." I probably could have told him hours' worth of details about the structure and the history and the absolute perfect design! I shake these thoughts off. But no, there was something more important that I need to discuss with him besides the mausoleum, which for me is really saying something.
"I am glad you are back too."
After that we both stand there awkwardly for a few moments, which is not a normal feeling with Zelos. Usually whatever it is that Zelos says was just so weird it's silly, but that's the norm. This time it's just unusual. He didn't just keep blathering away or make some joke like normal. Sometimes there can even be moments of silence between us and it's not weird in any way. This is different.
"So, I think I just need to bring my stuff back inside and then we need to talk," I finally break the silence.
"Umm yeah, sure. Let me help you with that," he offers as he lifts a couple of my suitcases.
So after we manage to get everything in to my room, I sit down on my bed a little exhausted. Zelos surprises me and sits down next to me. I can feel my hands shaking a little and my body tensing up. I don't get nervous easily, but I also don't find myself in very many situations like this. I look up at Zelos and think back on what he said to me over the phone just those few days ago.
I love you.
Those three words keep ringing in my head. Those three words have been the reason I've had a hard time falling asleep the past few nights. They race through my mind, and as I look up at Zelos, I feel my face starting to get red hot.
"You okay?" Zelos asks as he looks into my eyes. The look in his eyes is so intense and—
"We need to talk," I blurt out, quickly averting my eyes from his alluring gaze as I look down at my hands. "Zelos, did you mean what you said over the phone? Or was that just the booze talking?"
"Ouch Raine, that's such a harsh conclusion," he responds, actually sounding a bit hurt. That makes me feel a little bad about saying it so bluntly, but I want to know. Does he really love me, or was that just the alcohol talking? "Okay so I know I was drunk and I am sorry. But I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have another female over since you have been gone. There were times that I thought about it, but then your face, your gorgeous face and body kept popping into my mind. I really was missing you, even ask Presea. She might have gotten annoyed of my complaining." Zelos is being upfront with me.
So at least there was no other girl over during that time, but he didn't mention the part that I have been thinking about for the past half week though. Is it possible that he forgot that he even said that to me? Or is it just a matter of he is nervous talking about it too?
Or worse, he didn't mean it…
"But why did you keep drinking so much?" I decide to ask first instead.
It takes him a moment to answer. "Well, I was starting to realize something. All I have been doing is trying to find a way to fill the void in my life. I had everything I could possibly want, yet nothing. I am rich, popular, super handsome, yet clearly I was missing something though I would pretend like I wasn't," his eyes gaze towards mine and his face is actually serious.
"I know it took way too long to figure out, but I was missing a genuine friend. I didn't realize that this is what I was really needed until you became that friend for me. Raine, I cherish our friendship together. Trust me, I really do. And then we shared a moment together that changed everything." He pauses running his fingers through his hair. It even looks like he is hesitant to tell me whatever it was he wanted to say next. I can tell he is trying to play it off as just being cool but I know him well enough to see he is nervous.
"What moment?" I ask curiously, hoping it will encourage him to tell me what it is that he is thinking. And now I really need to know what moment he is talking about! The moment that changed his drinking habit perhaps?
I look back up at him as I intently listen.
He rubs his head and does a nervous laugh. "Umm well it was a night a while ago that we hung out, just the two of us. I tried getting you to let me try some of your cooking, but you refused saying how terrible it is. Instead you had us go try some food at a place you like. It was delicious I will give it that," he pauses as he reminisces.
I think I know what night he is talking about too. Zelos didn't believe me that I couldn't cook and there was no way I was going to leave him disgusted and disappointed. Genis actually does a lot of the cooking around here but he went off with Presea to go visiting with Lloyd and Sheena that day. However, I don't remember anything particularly special about that night besides getting alone time with him. That in itself was special for me because I loved nights hanging out with just Zelos. They were the closest things I had to actually being with him: friend dates. I can't say I knew what that night meant for him though.
"And then the bill came, and you grabbed for it expecting to pay. I told you it was fine and I could pay, after all, I have plenty of money. But you said you got it because of how much I already have done for you. It was like in that moment you forgot I was this rich guy, and you really treated me like I was a good friend," he gives me this cute half smile that shows how much he appreciated that moment. I can't help but smile back at him as I continue to listen.
"It sounds crazy but no ever women ever did anything like that before. I never felt like any of them really wanted me for me, just the money or status." My eyes widen. I never thought of that as anything more than just a gesture to show my appreciation of everything he has done for Genis and me by letting us live at his mansion; however, Zelos perceived that gesture as something much more.
Serves those other bratty snot "hunnies" right! Maybe they should have tried, oh I don't know, actually caring about the man if they really wanted to be with Zelos!
"From that moment I started noticing you more and more and not in the usual way I notice a girl. I wanted to know even more about you," he continues, taking me out of my internal rant of everything wrong with those other bitches! Sorry, but not sorry, they really are.
I shift gears in my head. Wait so noticing me in a different way? I feel my face get a little warm. So he does notice me for more than just my body as far as attractiveness? My heart pounds a little faster. I don't think he ever has said that about one of his "hunnies" before. He just wanted to sleep with them and move on. Could I really be something special to him if he likes having me around? I look back at Zelos and I can tell he is having a difficult time with this. His leg is shaking and his fingers run through his hair again as he takes a deep breath. When he sees me look at him he does his nervous laugh again trying to keep his "cool" façade as he continues.
"It wasn't long until you started slipping into my head, slowly at first but then more and more frequently until it happened nearly all of the time. I didn't want to believe it at first but it was happening: I was starting to— to fall for you," he glances at me to see my reaction. I am just frozen right now. Not that it is in a bad way, but I just can't believe it! "I was too stupid to catch it right away, probably because this never happened to me before, but looking back on it, from that moment on any other fling I had seemed meaningless," he runs a hand through his gorgeous hair.
He is cute when he is nervous! Hot damn!
"I would try to be with some other girl but the reality was I didn't really want any of them anymore. At first I didn't completely understand why, but later after you left on your trip, I figured out it was because I… because I wanted you."
I think I just went to cloud nine! I was so happy to hear him say that. I am curious how long it has been since he wanted me.
Since he wanted me! I can't help but feel a wave of complete bliss go coursing through my body.
"So to answer your original question, you were also the reason why I stopped drinking so much. But with you gone, I didn't know what to do with myself. I thought if I drank, maybe I would just forget how lonely I was without you. It was a poor choice, and for that I truly am sorry," he looks at me with a very apologetic expression.
He did miss me! He was pouring his heart out to me now, for the first time ever! He cares what I think, he cares when I'm gone, he cares that I was upset with him.
He just cares!
The saying is true then: "You don't know what you have 'till it's gone." From the sounds of it, Zelos didn't realize he had made such a connection with me, deeper than just a regular friendship, until I wasn't there all the time anymore.
It finally isn't just a one way feeling towards him. It's mutual!
"You truly have feelings for me? But, did you actually mean it when you said… well… you said…" I hesitate suddenly tensing up from nerves. Dammit Raine, don't lose it now!
"I love you?" Zelos answers for me as if he was reading my mind. I blush at that, nodding quickly in an effort to get him to continue. "When I woke up the next morning, I thought about calling you to tell you that I was sorry."
I guess I should have figured. I sigh in disappointment getting my hopes up a little too high. It might be a little too soon to say it anyways, but I was just curious. However, I have more than enough to think about with what he just said so I guess it's not too big of a deal at the moment.
"I thought about it," he continues which makes me look him in the eyes. "But the more I thought about it, the more I didn't want to apologize for it."
Wait, he didn't want to apologize? Am I hearing him right? Now I am just confused and with the way he is looking back at me, I know he can tell that I am not on the same page as him anymore. He gives me a small smile before continuing.
"Because the thing is, I think it might be true. Maybe it was too soon to say, and it was awful of me to be drunk to say it, but it really might be true." He gazes intently into my eyes to show how much he means this. "I can understand if you don't want to say it back, though I am pretty irresistible," he jokes, grinning at me in an effort to lighten the mood.
I'm not sure I would be able to say it back right now, but I can feel my face heat up again. Yes he is irresistible: that flowing long red hair, those washboard abs, those amazing biceps, those mesmerizing blue eyes, that knee-buckling smile, and that oh so incredible mind of his. Sure sometimes he can act like an idiot, but when it comes right down to it: I know secretly he is a genius. He doesn't give himself enough credit in the brain category but he has both the looks and the brains (even if it's something I see more than others when I pick around his brain to see what he knows). I have a hard time not just jumping him right now with all the images my mind just gave me.
"Have I ever told you how sexy you look in red?" he adds, grinning his famous Wilder grin again to me, being his playful self once more.
"Zelos…I…" but then something in me snaps and I lose control.
I push him down on my bed and kiss him deeply and passionately before I realize what I'm doing. Yes, I am making the first move. My hands are gripping onto his shoulders and my legs are on either side of his body. Zelos smirks as he kisses me back, putting an arm around me and moving me more on top of him. Everything feels right: his lips on mine, our bodies pressed together, the warmth of his skin on mine—
Wait!
I quick stop and pull myself back from the kiss. No, that was wrong! My head is now swimming from the heat of the moment. I can't believe I just did that! I just straddled Zelos and kissed him on my bed! And not just any small peck, I pressed my lips hard against his taking in the taste of those luscious lips. It gave me an incredible rush, but I told myself if I ever try being with Zelos I need to do it right. We would have to take it slow to make sure it actually is love and not just a fling.
Oh God do I not want it to just turn into a fling!
I quick get myself off of him and off of the bed. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that!" I panic as I pace the floor in my room. He just finally told me the truth of how he felt about me and I go and pounce him like a lion? What is wrong with me?
"Damn that was hot!" Zelos smirks from the bed. He appears to be breathing a little heavier than usual as he keeps his eyes on me while I pace the room. His gaze makes it look like he is longing for more. "You sure can be one vivacious lady when you want to be, Raine."
I can't help but notice his shirt was pushed up in that intense moment. His bottom abs are just sitting there… teasing me. It's as if they are saying "come back, Raine. Come touch us." I almost give in, that is until I hit myself on the head a few times to stop my brain from thinking like that.
NO! STOP! I scold myself.
"I'm sorry!" I spit out again as I grip my hair.
"Hey, hey now my voluptuous Professor Raine, no need to hurt yourself. Or apologize." he quickly assures me, fully sitting up on the bed making his shirt fall back down. Internally I groan at that. "That was amazing. I didn't actually know you felt the same way." He looks pleased as his smirk from before turns into a genuine smile.
"I have been fighting the feeling for two years! And now I just cracked!"
Genis was right. From the look on his face it's apparent he really did have no idea just how into him I was. His eyebrows raise up high and his beautiful ocean blue eyes widen as he looks at me. "Two years? Why didn't you ever tell me?"
"How could I have just told someone like you that I have feelings for you? You needed a friend, and that's what I was giving you," I pause as I give myself a moment to recollect my thoughts. "I didn't want to end up ruining the strong friendship we had by just blowing it and saying that I liked you right away. You had your own girls and I had to respect that. Regal even once told me that if I ever wanted a real, genuine love type connection with you, I would have to keep being your friend, and only your friend, until you were ready," I admit to him. I bite the bottom of my lip hoping he doesn't see me coming off as desperate.
"So you waited that long then?" he asks. His pause is long enough to make me internally freak out that somehow he is going to judge me for this. "Raine, I have never had a friend anywhere near as amazing as you. Well I have never had that close of a friend period. You were doing that for me? Normally women just want me for my money or status. If you really waited that long, you must really care about me," I see his smile widen at that. "I think I'm falling even more for you now, my gorgeous professor. How about another kiss?"
I take a deep breath, so this is it.
"I have some conditions if we are going to try this though," I firmly state, but almost wishing I would have just accepted the kiss offer.
"Demanding, aren't we? What are the conditions?" he looks at me curiously.
"We take it slow. To know if this is really meant to be, we need to start off slow and steady and not just rush things. Patience is a key aspect in a relationship," I mention matter-of-factly almost feeling a rant coming on. However, I manage to stop myself before starting a lecture on patience. Seriously, how will Zelos feel if I start lecturing him on everything? I need to try and fight the natural professor urge to lecture about everything. Just keep it for more appropriate times…
He puts his hands up defensively. "Hey now, you were the one that jumped me!"
I roll my eyes at him. "Yes I know, but you know what I mean."
He nods to show he understands and accepts my first condition. Good. "Okay, we will take it slow. So is that your only condition?" he questions.
"No more flirting with the girls of the city."
"Well, I won't lie to you Raine, I used to only do that because they would give me free stuff. It's not because I actually was trying to flirt with them." My left eyebrow rises at this statement. He was just doing that to get free stuff from them? I just stare at him blankly for a moment. I don't know what is more pathetic, the fact that Zelos was doing that to get free stuff or the fact that the girls immediately gave him something. Ugh! Those girls just— "But okay, for you, I promise I will stop," he cuts off what would have been another internal rant. "Anything else?"
At the moment there isn't any other condition I really want to put out there. I could just start with this and see where it would take us, maybe add another one if he doesn't stop with excessive drinking, but if my theory is right he should soon stop again. "I think that's all I have for now."
Zelos smiles, "Well to prove that I will start off slow, let me just start with this." He walks over to me and gives me a hug and kisses me on the forehead. "Welcome back home."
And that kiss was all I needed to release my inner anger.
And for the first few months we did take it slow. He showed me that he could actually be a really loyal boyfriend. He didn't even seem to glance at the other ladies of the street anymore, if anything it was just a polite hello. I really was stunned.
"I was stunned…" I mutter to myself thinking back to it. He legitimately changed for me.
Then I remember the first time we actually slept together. It was real. He wasn't just going through the motions. We were in love. I laugh thinking about our first time again. I lectured him on the importance of condoms. I think Zelos might have gotten a little impatient but listened to me anyways. He shook his head and rolled his eyes at me, but honestly I think I was just really nervous. I was about to make love to the man of my dreams, so it wasn't that weird… right? Fortunately, he shut me up with a long kiss to calm my nerves, followed by reassurances that he would love me no matter what happened.
He proposed to me about a year and a half after the night we started dating. Ironically, that night I was so speechless I couldn't make myself say anything. I just frantically nodded my head to express my "yes". He teased me about it later, then jokingly bragged about how he must have been the only person to have ever made me so speechless. He wasn't too far off.
And only just a few weeks ago did I become Mrs. Raine Wilder. It has actually only been about a week since we came back from our honeymoon. It was this private resort Zelos booked for us which was absolutely romantic. Mmm. I moan in pleasure.
And now I am pregnant. I wouldn't be surprised if it happened on the honeymoon either, but I couldn't know for sure.
Everything is just happening so quickly. I take my cup of water and slowly sip it as I think about everything that has happened within these past couple of years. I wouldn't change a thing about it. I smile as I put a hand to my stomach. Then the door opens.
Zelos is home!
He yawns as he walks in, "Oh man, what a day." Zelos occasionally helps out with chores for the royal family. They pay him generously.
"Hi Zelos," I smile up at him as I walk towards the door.
"Hello my beauty," he smiles as he gives me a kiss. "And how are you on this fine evening?"
"I am doing great now actually. And there is something important I need to tell you," I smile.
Zelos rubs his chin. "Hmm let me guess. Genis and Presea actually decided to be a couple?"
I shake my head, "I will give you a hint." I take his hand and gently place it on my stomach.
He looks confused for a little bit. "You lost weight? Ummm... you got a belly button piercing?" He looks at my face and finally it hits him. His eyes widen and he looks down at my stomach. "You're pregnant?"
I nod at him with a soft smile on my face. I look at him and he is full of shock. I almost wonder if his face is frozen in place looking down at my stomach for so long. I almost start to freak out with him thinking about how nervous I originally was too. But after a moment of just staring in surprise, he picks me up and spins me in a circle full of excitement. He then puts me down and pulls me into a hard hug at first but then loosens it up when he remembers about the precious little bundle of joy that caused his moment of euphoria.
"I can't believe it!" he sounds stunned. "That was really fast. Still, just wow! We are going to be parents! I am going to be a dad?" he laughs for a moment but then he pauses. His face turns serious. "If we have a son, I will make sure he doesn't turn out like how I was. And if we have a daughter… if we have a daughter I will do everything I possibly can to protect her from jerky guys like how I was. Man if a guy would even look at her wrong I would hit him so hard he would forget his own name!" His voice is booming by the end of the sentence.
"Zelos, calm down!" I put my hands on his shoulders. "I am glad you are excited, but just hold up. We won't know the gender for a few months at least. Let's just take a moment and cherish the idea that we are going to be bringing new life into the world in about 9 months' time."
Presea starts to come down the stairs at that moment. She looks a bit worried. Genis isn't too far behind her as he too comes over by Zelos and me to figure out what is going on. Clearly Zelos must have startled them.
"Is everything alright? I heard Zelos yelling," Presea looks up at Zelos.
"No, no everything is fine. In fact, he was just getting a little amped up on the news I just told him," I grin at them.
"What news is that Raine?" Genis wonders.
And I once again share my exciting news to both Genis and Presea. I tell everyone about how I tested positive after I had this feeling that I might be pregnant. I kept it quiet at first because I didn't want to jinx anything if I spoke too soon. It was a wondrous moment and I'm all but thrilled now at the fact that we would soon have a little baby. Genis is beaming about how he is about to be an uncle and Zelos and I of course are just overwhelmed by the idea of being parents and starting a family. Everything is happy. We decide it would be a good idea now to just take a moment to relax. Tomorrow we would be able to tell everyone the big news.
We make our way to the living room of the mansion. I sit down on the nice, leather couch, Zelos instantly sitting down right next to me. I smile as my husband immediately puts his arm around me lovingly, as if caressing me and kisses my cheek. Genis and Presea both make their way to the love-seat, sitting down before looking at each other and blushing, much to my amusement. Zelos may not have been far off when he suggested that Genis and Presea may have started dating.
I debate whether I should give my brother "the talk." I laugh out loud as I think about how much his face would cringe from me explaining it to him. I get a strange look from both Genis and Presea from my random outburst, and Zelos just jokingly laughs along with me. I love this guy!
Everything is alright with the world. Then Zelos grabs the remote and turns on the TV.
My mood takes a complete 180 as I read the news headline.
