I am greatly inspired by music, so most of these chapters will be accompanied by the songs that helped me put pen to paper. Please enjoy!

Turning Tables, Gwen Paltrow

King of Anything, Sara Bareilles


CHAPTER I

THIN ICE

"Hey, what's for breakfast?" Tony Stark slid into a velveteen-cushioned chair, smugness tugging at the corners of his grin. He was outfitted in nothing more than plaid boxers and a disheveled crimson button-down. The miniaturized arc reactor pulsated its usual dark blue behind the stained, crumpled shirt. His Risky Business-esque ensemble contrasted drastically with the room's classic elongated table, imported rug, and antique wall hangings. Ironically, he was right at home here; usually, he even propped his feet up. It was quite the oddity, but not uncommon at the Stark-Potts household.

From the opposite end of the table, Pepper Potts glanced around the front page of the morning paper. "I thought we agreed," she said tersely, "that you'd start making your own eggs in the future."

"Good," Tony replied. He leaned back in his chair, letting it tip on its back legs. "It's not the future yet, so we have some time."

Pepper folded the paper quickly and slammed it down on the table, a little too vehemently. "Tony, it's not that hard. You put eggs in a pan and turn on the stove."

Her cold gaze locked on him from across the table. What had he done now? Tony stared back uncomfortably. "Whoa, who invited Banner to the party?" He said. "'Cause I would've gone to Boy Band Headquarters for eggs if I wanted some Hulk action."

There was definitely some tension in the air. But, what the heck could possibly have happened overnight? Whatever it was had left her all tense and snippy; and, he could probably count on one hand the times she'd turned into a fire-breathing dragon. Hopefully, it didn't escalate to the fire-breathing-dragon phase.

"Wanna know why I'm upset?" Pepper said icily. She dug through the pile of mail in front of her and brought out an envelope. "It's for you." She slid the mysterious note across the table and Tony took it in his fingers rather reluctantly.

"Jarvis usually gets me my mail," he said slowly, raising an eyebrow suspiciously. She never got the mail. Jarvis normally fetched the mail, electronically sorted it, and distributed it (But, of course, Tony had his bills and tax forms pre-programmed to go to Pepper). His personal mail would flash across the screen if he was watching TV, or Jarvis would read them aloud if Tony was preoccupied with something else altogether. Somehow, this time, Pepper had gone out of her way to obtain the hard copies. And, she obviously didn't like what she saw.

"Speeding ticket," Pepper said. "Didn't think I'd hear about it?"

"Not this one," Tony muttered. Curiously, he turned the envelope over in his hands, sliding his thumb to rip open the flap. But, there was no flap.

It'd already been ripped open.

"You opened my mail."

Before Tony could take out and read the document, Pepper added, "What's this, number four?"

"Pepper," Tony said calmly, letting out a deep breath. So, that's what it was about. A stupid ticket. "Relax. So I was cruisin' yesterday. What else is new, those Vipers and Feraris ain't gonna drive themselves, y'know? They gotta cut a multimillionaire some slack."

Pepper's scowl was unwavering.

Tony heaved a dramatic sigh. "I'm sorry. Happy? It's just a ticket. "

"But four in one month?"

"Five, actually."

Pepper stern glare hardened.

"They've got this guy down on Main. Tricky guy. Say, since when do police officers ever do their job anymore?"

"Ever try going the speed limit?"

There had to be something more. "Well excuse me for having a little fun."

Pepper's gaze narrowed. "There are other ways to have fun, Ton—"

"The Invincible Pepper Potts with composure of steel has a problem with a little ticket?" Tony chided. That actually sounded good, he thought, rather satisfied with himself. "Hey, that could be your superhero alter ego! The Invincible Pepper Potts: Iron Man's Sidekick. That sounds pretty catchy."

She didn't flinch. Her stoic glare confirmed that she was not at all amused.

"O-kaay, maybe you're too uptight to be a sidekick," Tony added.

Pepper didn't move.

Dropping all pretenses, Tony said flatly, "Look, whatever I did—"

"Did you read it, Tony?" Pepper responded gravely. She finally stood up, taking a few steps closer to Tony's side of the table. But that didn't shorten the distance between them, really. Tony felt a million miles away from her now. Whatever she was upset about. It wasn't that big of a deal. Was it? His gaze fell upon the envelope in his hands. Pepper had read it. He sighed. He'd better get it over with.

Tony took hold of the folded document inside, drawing it out in what seemed like slow motion. Every couple seconds, he looked up to check Pepper's unwavering stare for a sign. Any sign. But, her furrowed brow and pursed lips gave no indication, no hint. Not until he unfurled the parchment and scanned the paragraphs.

"Court!"Tony burst. He wasn't sure if the exclamation was on account of Pepper's overreaction, or his own outrage with the situation. Either way, he was not happy. "I'm not going to court, Pepper, I am not going to court! That's why you overreacted?" Crap, he was going to court. Why the heck had this happened? Sure, he had been going twenty—or forty—over the speed limit. A couple of times. But did that really require a court hearing?

"No, no, you know what that means?" Pepper interjected defensively. Her voice raised an octave. Uh, oh. Fire-breathing dragon. "That means you will probably lose your license and that would mean I would be your chauffer, and I am not—"

"No," Tony corrected, "it'd be that guy, that kid that works here, what's his name—?"

"Happy?"

"Yeah, he'd be my chauffer. We both know that you don't drive…"

Pepper drew a deep breath. "Tony, that's not the point. The point is that you are probably going to get community service—"

"I'm Iron Man. Don't you think flying around and saving the world from, I don't know, mass destruction is enough community service?" Tony propped his head up with both hands, resting his elbows on the table.

"Community service, Tony, means community service," Pepper said firmly. "That's generally what normal people have to do when they don't follow the rules. You think everything revolves around you, that you can just break the law and you're just…exempt! Just because you're Iron Man, you're not a celebrity!"

"Well, actually I kind of am. They make socks with my face on them now."

"That's Iron Man's face, Tony. Not yours. What you don't realize is that Iron Man and Tony Stark are two different people. And, Tony Stark just happens to be the CEO of a big company, which—"

Tony stood up. "Is that all you care about, the company, Pepper?"

"Well, somebody's got to! While you're out basking in the glory of Iron Man, I'm here trying to do your job. Tony, I stepped down from CEO because we agreed that you'd start taking more responsibility for Stark Industries, because, look at that, your name is Stark. Not Iron Man. Everything's going back to the way it was—"

"This isn't about the court case, is it?" Tony interrupted.

"No," Pepper said flatly. "It's about your big ego. I can't do this anymore, Tony. It's just- I can't. I don't know why I even…I was just so stupid to think that…"

This time, Tony raised his voice, impatient and annoyed. "To think what?"

"That this…forget it."

"No, enlighten me."

"That I could ever think about having a relationship with my boss, okay?" Pepper's answer was both harsh and tentative. "I should've just-You're just so—"

Tony turned, making his way towards the stairs. "You're right. That was stupid," he yelled.

"Where are you going?" Pepper called back.

"To catch an exotic disease and get mauled by a bear, thanks for asking!"

"You've already got the disease—Inflated Ego Syndrome!"

Tony yelled back from above her, leaning over the railing, "And, you turned into the angry bear- so, look at that, I don't even have to leave the house! But, guess what? I am anyway!"

There was a pause. The first pause in a long time. Then, fuming, Pepper yelled the first thing she could come up with:

"You're…not wearing any pants!"