Well, this is my first fanfiction, I hope you enjoy it ^_^ I've found a way to shorten the first chapter so it's not as long as it was previously, so the chapters after this have bits added to them from the first, but in the right order. I hope it's not too confusing to those who have already read the first chapter.

P.S I don't own Harry potter, or his parents, and no matter how much I'd like to own a Remus or a Sirius they're J.K Rowling's and always will be.


-FOURTH YEAR-

"I don't get why you keep turning him down, Lily!" cried Willa as soon as we were out of the great hall, tailing me closely as I stormed away. I fumed silently, my mind still focused entirely on what James had said. He had the nerve to ask me out in the middle of an exam. It threw me off balance, it did sometimes. I didn't know why I was so irritated; I weaved my way through the thrashing throng of students in frustration. I had finished the paper early so it wasn't that he interrupted my train of thought. It was something else…was it because he just never quit? It wasn't how he asked me; he wasn't obnoxious about it…

"Lily! Are you listening? Seriously- what's so bad about Potter?"

This question snatched me back from my mind.

"He's arrogant! He thinks he's higher than everyone else, just because he can fly a broom well, there's more to life than having windblown hair and popularity, Willa."

I answered as I always did. My reply to why I constantly rejected James Potter always went like this, it was like I'd rehearsed and learned my lines by heart. I was tired of repeating my reasons- its not like people were asking James why he wanted to ask me out in the first place.

"Yeah yeah, I've heard that a million times- but seriously you have to admit he is a good Quidditch player and personally I think he ruffles his hair so he can attract your attention," Willa said nodding in a wise way. I felt my lips twitch like they wanted to smile. Instead I let out a breath of exasperation. Willa knew that was her signal to drop the subject of James Potter.

I burst out into the sunny grounds, sighing happily and breathing in the fresh air, loving the feel of the gentle breeze on my flushed face.

"Listen Lil, you haven't even given Potter a chance. Do you realize how many girls in our year that would practically poison and murder with muggle dueling to be in your position? There're even a couple guys…" Willa continued, trailing off as she turned her gaze in my direction, eyeing me beadily. We made our way to a towering willow near the shallows of the lake. That's exactly why his head's so bloated. I thought glaring at the grass as I walked. The sun danced on the clear surface of the lake, gleaming like the sparks from the tip of a wand. Willa let out a great sigh of relief and settled against the huge trunk, tugging off her shoes and socks, continuing to speak as she went.

"I mean, Maisie Mottlecough has been going on and on about putting amortentia in Sirius Black's pumpkin juice, what's to say the many admirers of James Potter won't follow suit?" she dipped her feet into the lake with a ponderous look on her fair features. I plopped down beside her, soaking in the refreshing shade of the tall tree like a sponge. I folded my legs and cradled my head in my hands, blowing at a stray chunk of hair.

"Willa, how did you do on your history of magic exam? I found it easy enough," I said in a colorless voice. It was a feeble attempt to change the subject.

She turned to scrutinize me; her eyes were narrowed with knowing.

"Lily, don't think I don't know what you're doing, you know I'd rather forget the exams as they finish, so stop trying to change the subject missy."

I sighed heavily and stared out across the lake, the giant squid lay a little further down from us, basking in the warm water, its giant eye sagging closed with bliss.

"Come on- answer me already, I don't want you stuck with someone like Severus Snape for the rest of your life!" Willa cried in frustration next to me. Sev…he wasn't that bad. He was easy to talk to, smart and understanding. He was proud and oblivious at times, but still a treasured friend. He had such value and specialness in my eyes; it saddened me to know that he refused to realize all his wonderful traits and tendencies. He stood out in every hallway, not for the silver and green Slytherin colors of his tie, not for the small silver snake emblem on his chest, but because he was Sev. He wasn't like the rest of the people in his house…I felt my shoulders sag thinking of his friends. The rumors flying around like a virus about them made a vile taste in my throat appear. What they believed in disgusted me. Surely it was the same for Sev?

Then again…I never did know what was sure about Sev anymore.

"Lily! Come on, please stop with the glazed look, you always get like this when I mention him! What do you see in him?"

I turned my gaze on her, my eyes flashing.

"What do you think I should see in James potter?" I said my voice sharp. Willa looked taken aback at my subtle fierceness. I felt a tinge of guilt at my tone, but brushed it away when I saw how fast she recovered.

"Look, I'll just tell you what I see Lil," she answered me seriously, looking me straight in the eyes.

"I see a boy with hazel eyes that could melt ninety chocolate frogs. I see a guy who's as crazy as a banshee for you, and is simply acting high and mighty to attract you. With Severus? I see a guy with a hairy heart, who is so aloof to the world, it's like he's frozen."

I felt my heart begin to ache at her words, that's what was happening to Sev, he was closing himself off to everyone. It was happening between us too, ever since he got himself involved with Lucius Malfoy. I ignored what she said about James pointedly…only because it was true. But I would rather swallow bubotuber pus than admit that. I had to squeeze my eyes shut against his warm ones when he looked me in the face. I couldn't stand to feel the butterflies in my stomach when I saw them, their wings flapping frantically against the walls of my stomach. The sensation confused me, a strange feeling of betrayal settling below the fuzzy warmth.

I unfolded my legs and pulled off my shoes and socks, discarding them behind me, Willa was watching me intently. I slid my feet into the cool sloshing water; letting the stifling heat of the day leave me momentarily as the refreshing chill touched my skin.

"I don't see it, I just notice his huge head," I answered her, smiling despite myself at her descriptions.

Willa grinned micheviously and nudged my shoulder.

"Well, now's your chance to observe Lil," she pointed past me, gesturing to the next tree a couple of feet away. I turned my head lazily; the summer sun and cool water had that effect. I gasped suddenly and hastily looked away, keeping my eyes on the giant squid, which was now snaking its tentacles to the surface to sneakily coil around a student's leg. The student batted the slimy limb away with a heavy revision book, looking horrified. I let my eyes flicker back to the oak tree.

James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew sat in a circle in the tree's shade, chatting comfortably. Remus Lupin had his head in a thick book and only dimly seemed to recognize the conversation. Sirius lounged against the trunk of the tree, smirking his arrogant smirk.

James combed his hands through his messy coal black hair and pulled a battered snitch from his pocket. Willa's smile couldn't have been any wider as she churned the water with her legs, sending ripples across the surface.

"Look, listen and learn Lily," she said, beaming at me, her eyes glinting deviously. I sent her a slight glare, but let the expression fall as laughter escaped my lips traitorously.


"Prongs mate, stop acting like a muggle super model posing for the camera already, they haven't noticed you," Sirius smirked as James flashed a grin in the direction of the willow where two girls sat, chattering away happily and dipping their feet into the lake. James let the goofy smile slide off his face instantly to be replaced by an expression of mock indignation.

"You should talk padfoot," James said his face changing to a crooked grin as Sirius winked wolfishly at two passing girls in Ravenclaw. Sirius simply shrugged, smirking airily.

"He has a point James. And put that snitch away it's distracting," commented Remus, turning a fragile looking page and continuing to devour each word. James reverted back to a look of mock hurt.

Peter however, just nodded furiously to what each of them said, wondering who to agree with. Sirius yawned suddenly and stretched his arms above his head, resembling a dog waking up from a long nap. James stuffed the snitch back into his pocket, letting his eyes stray over to the willow tree. Lily was splashing the water and laughing, a radiant smile on her face, her friend was grinning even though she'd just gotten soaked by the displacement of water.

He wondered what they had been talking about, but just as he thought it he saw Lily get splashed in a counter attack. As her laughter reached his ears, clear and bright like the chime of a bell, he managed to lock his gaze with her shining emerald eyes. He grinned stupidly. She looked slightly confused on how to react, but she quickly turned away. He sagged slightly at this, cursing his goofy expression for scaring her off.

He must have looked like one of those muggle clowns.

"James," asked Peter timidly, he had been watching him intently.

"I've always wanted to ask, why are you so hung up on Evans?"

Sirius let out a booming bark like laugh at Peter's question, his shoulders shaking from amusement.

"Don't we get that speech enough every time we mention anything that can be remotely traced to her wormtail?" Sirius said, regaining control of his voice.

James felt his cheeks color slightly. Sirius noticed he'd stepped on a nerve and back tracked.

"Its ok mate, I'm only teasing you," He said in a conciliatory manor. He only ever adopted this tone of voice for James. Never had it been used for anyone but his best friend, not teachers, not Remus or Peter, just James. It was a mark of how close the two actually were. James accepted the unsaid 'don't think I'm poking fun at you' conveyed in Sirius' voice.

"Peter, the question you pose is one that I can never answer due to the comments I'll make about truly soppy subjects. It just isn't good for my manly image," James smirked and leant against the trunk of the tree.

Peter looked impressed.

It wasn't hard to impress Peter.


"Sorry!" I gasped as I accidentally splashed Willa by bringing my foot down too forcefully on the waters surface. Willa simply laughed and her grin showed only too clearly I'd pay for my slip up. Seconds later I found myself wet as well. Not that I cared- it was a hot day and I'd be dry in as long as it took to actually get wet.

"Hey- look! Someone's eyeing you again!"

By "someone" I knew Willa meant James. But of course, being gullible, I followed her gaze before comprehending who she meant. James' grin was wide and goofy. I had to turn away quickly to stop myself from mirroring it in return. It was just that sort of smile. He may be a pain but his expressions affected everyone else. If Potter was sad, you'd feel it too. If Potter was laughing his head off, you'd find it hard to stop at just a tentative giggle. It was both annoying and fascinating how he affected people.

"You think we should warn Sirius about Maisie planning to put amortentia in his pumpkin juice?" I said, turning back to Willa who was trying hard not to laugh at my reaction.

"Hmmm, ok, you go," she said quickly. I gave her a look which clearly said: "I'd rather kiss the squid".

"Ok, ok! I'll go, but only because I think it would ruin Black's rep if he was found following Maisie Mottlecough like a lost puppy," She stood, ignoring the fact that her legs were still very wet.

Since the exams were over, everyone was outside, playing exploding snap in the shade or just having their own conversations. There was laughter and freedom in the air and I suspected that it had gone to Willa's head. I watched her walk the short distance to the oak tree.


"Hark, a female approaches," Sirius commented, his wolfish smirk set on his face. James just grunted as he was laying face first in the grass, trying to take a nap out of boredom. Peter squeaked and tried to hide behind Remus who sighed.

"Peter your fear of girls is going to bite you in the backside one day," he said in quiet disapproval, turning his gaze back on his book. Peter just squeaked with fright again and tried desperately to dodge behind the tree.

"Hiya," the mysterious female stated, plopping to the ground a little out of their circle. She had a fair face, with big brown eyes and caramel colored hair, Sirius noticed she was the one sitting with Evans. That and he'd watched her walk over. His eyes always noticed girls as pretty as her. That was his defense and he planned on sticking to it like a niffler on a galleon.

Peter stuttered an unintelligible string of words from behind Remus, then shut up, looking petrified. James just grunted again. Remus looked over the top of his book, gave a small smile and continued reading. Sirius, however, actually said a full sentence.

"Hello, what brings you to our inner sanctum, friend of Lily Evans?" He winked in her direction, his air friendly and curious. A bit like a dog meeting a new person. The girl grinned.
"I'm here to deliver some news that should be taken seriously," She said simply, folding her legs and observing the interesting group before her. A bit like a zoologist would a monkey in a habitat.

"Ignoring the obvious pun on my name, I'd like to ask what news? Wait- don't tell me! Snivillus is finally washing his hair. Or is it that you're here to dare one of us to make out with the giant squid? Well I'll tell you now mysterious stranger, it isn't happening. Well- maybe Peter would do it, but I'm not that desperate."

At this the girl let out a chorus of giggles and shook her head.

"No, it has something to do with a Mr. James Potter," she said, smiling sweetly. Sirius was not fooled, Peter had probably peed his pants from being so close to a pretty female and Remus was too busy reading to notice.

"Yes, my dear companion over there would love his company," at this her eyes acquired a playfully devious gleam. She gestured to the remaining girl sitting by the willow tree, her long scarlet hair contrasting with the lake hugely. At this James practically leapt to his feet looking a mix between bewildered and hopeful.

"Really!" He asked, abandoning what he called his "manly pride". Sirius gave a bark like laugh at his friend's reaction and to his surprise the girl did also. James looked ready to rush over there but he contained himself well, sensing trickery. The girl smiled apologetically.

"Sorry James, I was only teasing. She'd kill me if I sent you over there and I like living."

James slumped to the ground, looking disappointed. He recovered fast though. Sirius was still doubtful of this girl's presence.

"I don't mean to be rude love, but I'm still out at sea as to why you're gracing us with your otherwise charming company," He stated, his black eyes twinkling.

"Oh I won't be for long, Mr. Black," she said, her eyes matching the sparkle in his. James looked back to Lily with a sigh. Remus looked up from his book to give him a sympathetic look. This seemed to revive James a bit.

"Are you blokes' familiar with Maisie Mottlecough? Tall fifth year girl, has more muscle than a mountain troll, quite admirable of her by the way, and straw colored hair?" the girl continued. Sirius nodded slowly, not really liking where this conversation was heading.

"Maisie Mottlecough, a girl in Slytherin who has a fondness for our very own padfoot, yes we've heard of her…Willa was it?" Remus cut in, looking up from his book and giving the girl a questioning look. She nodded.

"How'd you know her name Moony? Is there anything you don't know? You'll be trying to dominate the world next," commented James in a voice muffled by the grass, he was resting face downwards again. Staying upright had obviously been too much trouble for him.

"Remus, she doesn't have a fondness for Sirius, she has a total obsession with him!" chimed Peter. Sirius had gone very white. Willa giggled at these reactions.

"Yes, well, she's planning to put amortentia in your pumpkin juice, look forward to it Sirius," She sang, standing up and brushing grass from her skirt. Sirius looked positively faint. Remus seemed to muffle a laugh. James sat up quickly and gave Sirius a horrified glance.

Willa spun on her heel and danced back to the willow tree, humming cheerfully as she went to one of the Weird Sisters smash hits; "We live to horrify."


I stared out across the lake, listening to the sounds of other conversations happening around me. I closed my eyes, breathing in slowly and savoring the weather.

"You look radiant Lily," came a soft voice from behind me. I jumped and spun around, splashing a considerable amount of water on myself. Striding confidently towards me was Lucius Malfoy, Regulus Black and, my heart gave a jolt, Sev.

"Sev!" I cried standing up and climbing out of the lake. Severus gave me a helpless look. I blinked, confused.

"How rude of you Lily, to ignore my compliment like that," Lucius said silkily. I turned a venomous glare on him.

"Jump off a broom Malfoy," I hissed, folding my arms firmly over my chest. He tutted and shook his head slowly. Before Sev got involved with these two, I wouldn't have had the misfortune to have even noticed them.

"Let's just leave!" stated Sev fiercely. Why Sev? I've missed you so much, I thought desperately as he said this. Was our friendship nothing? We held on tight for four years after he got into Slytherin…did that mean nothing? Regulus looked like he'd rather be anywhere but here, his eyes kept darting to his brother nervously, who was lounging against a tree not too far away, having an animated discussion with Willa, who I knew was playing with her pray before going in for the kill. She was scary that way.

"What do you want?" I snapped at Lucius, trying to convey silently to Sev that I wanted to talk to him. He didn't get the mental message. Lucius smiled smoothly, showing a row of straight white teeth.

"Why, it's not what I want." At this he looked at Sev. He glowered at Malfoy.

"Shut up."

Was all he said, before turning on his heel and striding away. Lucius cast me a contemptuous look before following suit. Regulus looked so glad to leave he almost tripped over himself in his haste.

"Lil! What was all that about?" Willa was hurrying back over to me, a nervous expression on her face. I felt shaken, I hadn't spoken even a sentence to Lucius Malfoy before and I knew Regulus Black was quiet by nature from quick observations during dinner. But Sev, what did he want to tell me? I missed him, I missed my friend, was Sev still that friend?

I followed Willa back to the castle in time for the end of year feast. After we'd finished and I'd explained what had happened to her, I turned in early. She didn't question my actions. I flopped down onto my four poster, breathing in the familiar scent.

Next year was OWL year, and I knew the exams would be much tougher than they were this year. But my mind lingered on Sev's lost expression, on James' goofy grin and what Malfoy had said. I dug my fingers into the red silk duvet in frustration. Surely I wasn't just going to sit around and twiddle my thumbs? I felt my side table for a scrap of parchment and a quill. Finding what I wanted, I scribbled a quick message and folded it into a neat small square.

Sev, whatever I did to make you ignore me so much, I'm sorry. See you this summer? At the park, first day ok?

~Lily.

I looked around the dormitory hopefully, to see if Aster had decided to visit. Sure enough Aster was sitting on the sill of the window overlooking the grounds. She was a beautiful spotted owl, with wide kind eyes and a shy disposition.

She always visited me in my dormitory, if she didn't she seemed to get separation anxiety. At least that's what Hagrid the caretaker said when Aster had gotten hurt one winter delivering a Christmas card to my parents. I felt so bad for Aster that winter. She really was a sweet owl.

I jumped off my bed and unlatched the window, holding out my arm. Aster hopped on with a small hoot of greeting. She nibbled my forefinger affectionately when I stroked her tawny head.

"You mind delivering something to Sev for me?" I asked her. She trained her large intelligent eyes on me and hooted her response. I set her down on the window sill again, she held out her leg obediently for me to tie the message to.

"Please make sure he replies, I'm worried about him," I told her as I did so. She gave my finger one last gentle nibble before taking off back into the night.


I did have more bits with Sirius and James in this one, but it was transferred to chapter two so this one wouldn't seem so long and endless XD

Thank you for reading this ^_^