there is good

and there is evil

the line between the two is supposed to be clear, but sometimes it aint

sometimes it is kinda blurry

like when youre really tired and trying to do math homework

im redex

i walk the line between good and evil—i am the johnny cash of vigilantism

between the time when the sun rises and the moon rises, both hang in the sky halfway—thats me

im that moment when you are with the person you have a crush on and yet you have to fart

im flippin redex

is "flippin" good? is it serving a higher purpose by censoring out an explicit word?

or is it evil, because when you see "flippin" you already know what other word i mean?

if you flip a coin to find out which it is, id flip you off

guess that makes me flippin

flippin redex

one time, i helped an old lady across the street

and then i stole $5 from her wallet

~~haha~~

im redex bby, and you cant put me in your narrow moral labeling system

in the 2000 united states election, i didnt vote for either bush or gore

i wrote in ralph nader

#twistedgrin

#redex #dontlabelme #2grey4u

i only use deodorant on one of my armpits, and i only save half the people i try to kill

some call me mad

some call me edgy

some call me a lot of mean names

but most people call me "redex"

and those are the people who listen to me when i tell them who i am

one time the fedex guy came up to my door and said "please sign for package"

and i said "im the redex guy and I dont sign for packages"

and he said "guess i cant give you this package then :/"

and he walked away with my package

it probably was nothing too important

~~~~~~ e~~~~~

hey guess what

im robin

.

.

.

na jk

im redex

- kapow-

when i fight fools, i use every part of my body

except for my fists and legs

unless i have no choice

"why dont you be a good guy for once," my girlfriend asked me

"why dont you go date someone else," i said

and we havent got back together ever since

if you cant handle the x, stay out of the red

when i go to mcdonalds i walk up to the drive thru window and order a whopper

when i go to burger king i walk up to the drive thru window and order a bigmac

you think i care about what you think is right?

of course i do, because i love you?

. . . "or does he?"

SOMETIMES I YELL REALLY REALLY LOUD AT PEOPLE AND SCARE THEM

and sometimes i smile and wave

but usually i punch them in the throat and take their car keys

and then take the car keys to the police station and say i found them and that somebody must have dropped them

i like to play games

monopoly, scrabble, yahtzee, sorry—theyre great, because they dont have either good guys or bad guys

in those games, its like everybodys like me. everybodys redex.

sometimes i cry myself to sleep in the bubble bath just thinking about how alone i am

everybody is like "woah im evil"

or like "look at me im a hero"

but no pretty girl ever says, "i like redexes"

no one ever takes redexes to prom

i had to take a hostage to prom, but i paid her, so is that really evil?

"im slade, do you want to be my apprentice?"

"no slade, i cant be your parents"

"i said apprentice"

"maybe you did, maybe you didnt. but i still cant be your parents."

"how about my apprentice then?"

"your fired"

"what im slade you cant fire me"

"your fired"

"redex i dont think you understand how this works"

"i own seasons 2 and 4 of the apprentice on dvd so i think i know dude"

"right, right. never mind, i dont you as my apprentice anymore"

((X))((X))((X))((X))((X))

there is good

and there is evil

and sometimes the distance that separates the two is represented by a grey line

but sometimes its represented as a redex