A/N: *malicious laughter* HA! I think that this will be my best ficlet yet! *rubs hands together* ho yeah, I am SO downright-devilishly-devious that it's freaky! BUAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!! *cough* sorry.

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING except for this plot and a couple of unfamiliar characters

Setting/summery/genre/rating: this is set before Moving Away, thus, before the movie. Dur. Anyhow, this is an AU [Author's Universe] about how Chihiro ended up losing her shoe in the Kohaku River in the first place. I've changed a couple of things, okay? And this has some *stuff* in it that Chihiro's parents-lovers might not like. So if you like Chihiro's parents, then poo on you! now, where was I? Oh yes. I'm sticking this in the outskirts of Tokyo, got that? There is World Geography Inaccuracy in here! There a forest right next to Chihiro's house, which is about thirty minutes' walk out of the hustle and bustle of Tokyo, 'kay? I'm pretty sure the genre is angst/drama/action/adventure/little bit of horror/and a little bit of fluff. Did I mention that this IS AN AU? Pg13 so I can do whatever I want. Well, mostly whatever I want.

Summery in a nutshell: how and why Chihiro met Haku (who I may refer to as Kohaku [River]), but that's really more of a side story.

Chapter Started: 5/1/03
Chapter Finished: 5/1/03

Third Person POV

Chihiro is Four or five years old in this. Don't flame me on what ages first graders are - I know that, and for those of you who don't, it's usually six and seven, though once in a while you'll get an eight.

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"Chihiro! Chihiro, come out, now!"

Chihiro only bit her bottom lip harder and tried to make herself smaller as her seventeen year old brother, Hiroshi, stamped around their two-story house angrily, looking for her. Yuuko, her mother, was at the hospital (something about a miscarriage or something - either way, it concerned a baby) and Akio, her father, was with Yuuko. Chihiro had begged him to take her too, but Akio had only told Hiroshi to watch her closely.

"Chihiro! Come on out, my little Chihiro-chan! I said COME OUT!"

Chihiro trembled. Hiroshi had always been like this too her, for as long as she could remember. At first, he had covered everything up - when she couldn't walk. But when she did learn, he began using excuses such as "fell down the stairs" et al, and Chihiro was forced to defend herself on her own.

Once, she had tried telling Yuuko. But, too busy at her joy of finding she would be having another baby, she simply told Chihiro to stick up to him and be a good big sister soon some day. Akio had said likewise.

"CHIHIRO! GET OVER HERE NOW, SHIMATTA!"

Chihiro tasted blood, and gasped, releasing her bottom lip. Hiroshi heard, and fell to a knee, looking under the table at her. A malicious grin spread over his face. "There you are, smart-ass. Come on and be a good imouto and come out of there."

Imouto. Little sister. Chihiro blanched and scooted as far away as she could, bumping into the wall. Hiroshi growled and stood up. He moved the entire table to the side, reached down, and snatched Chihiro up and held her dangling by her wrist.

"Please, no onii-sama! Gomen nasai! Gomen nasai!" she struggled, twisting and kicking with all of her might, pulling fruitlessly at his hand with her free one. "I can't feel my hand!" she cried, tears beginning to well up in her eyes. But she held them back. She knew it would only be worse if she cried.

"Kusumu! Shut up!" Hiroshi snarled, giving her a hard shake. Silently, she closed her mouth and dropped her free hand, handing limply, trying to ignore the pangs her shoulder was sending her brain. "yabuhebi," he said, and carried her like this out to the living room and upstairs. He marched into her room and threw her on her bed, closing the door, and shoving a piece of paper under her nose.

"Explain this!" he sneered. Slowly, Chihiro took the envelope into her hand and unfolded it. she began to tremble; it was a note she had written. It said:

"Hiroshi will kill me if I don't myself.

Bai-bai,

Chihiro"

She trembled harder, remembering. She had written the note and left it on the table, then proceeded to try and kill herself with a bent-out-of-shape paperclip. It had hurt, however, and she had taken the paper and hidden it. how had Hiroshi found it?

"So," he said sweetly. "you thought you could escape so easily? And just when and how were you going to commit suicide, huh, Smart-Alec?"

Chihiro tried to still her trembling, but it only grew worse. She ripped the note up into tiny little pieces, though she knew it was too late. slowly she looked up at Hiroshi, eyes glistening.

"Answer my questions!" he snapped angrily, connecting his hand with her face, snapping her head to the side. tears fell, though, Chihiro couldn't stop them. She reached up quickly to wipe them away while trying to ignore the stinging pain she felt and trying to keep the cracked sob from escaping her throat as she answered.

"W- with poison so it wouldn't hurt," she lied. "last week..."

Hiroshi snorted. "There is no way to die painlessly, my sweet little Chihiro-chan," he said smoothly, playing with Chihiro's tiny ponytail. Slowly, as he spoke, he undid the bow that held her almost-shoulder-length brown hair up. "I thought you might have known better; I mean, you were speaking and walking and talking at a remarkable age. You've been tutored by a special person here at home instead of kindergarten; and tomorrow is going to be your first day at public school, as the youngest first-grader yet." He laughed coldly as her hair finally fell loosely.

Then, faster then Chihiro could blink, his hand shot for her throat, and his fingers tightened around it. she whimpered and swallowed. "Nice try," he hissed in her ear, fingers tightening slowly even more. The muscles in her face began to ache terribly, and her skin above his hand was tingling. She didn't realize that she was crying silently until she was forced to sniff.

Abruptly, he jerked her off her bed and dropped her on the floor. She landed with a yelp, and cried out as his foot connected with her stomach. She coughed, tasting blood as Hiroshi left to answer the ringing phone. She pressed her ear to the carpet, listening intently.

"Oh, hi dad," Hiroshi said cheerfully. "how's mom and the new baby?" there was a long pause. "oh." Another pause. "okay." Yet another, even longer pause. "Sure, I'd love to watch Chihiro for the week. She's going to that three-story elementary school tomorrow, right? Uh-huh......... okay. Oh, dad. Okay, okay, I love you too, alright? Yeah. Whatever. Bye." He hung up.

Chihiro waited maybe five more minutes, and only got up when she heard the door slam shut. Hiroshi was gone.

She made her way to the bathroom and rinsed out her mouth, and washed her face, crying as quietly as she could the whole time. When she finally did calm down enough to stop crying, she inspected the damage: lightly bruised neck and a darker bruise on her stomach. Good. If momma and daddy were gone for the next week, then the bruises would be gone or unnoticeable by the time they got back. She put her hair back up into its tiny ponytail, barely wisps of the brown hair protruding from the tiny bow.

She had to get out of there. The longest Chihiro had ever been left alone with Hiroshi was for a weekend, a month before Yuuko found she would have her third child. It had been horrible. Chihiro wasn't sure how she survived, but she had; maybe it was Hiroshi's girlfriend, who had called a lot. Or, out in the small forest by the house, was the Kohaku River, where Chihiro often ran. They were cutting down the trees a lot, now. She always hoped they would never change the Kohaku River. She talked to it, even, it and the trees. She was weird. Crazy.

School. Tomorrow she would be going to her first day of public school. Chihiro's stomach clenched - would she survive the ride with Hiroshi there and back? Would the kids like her? Would she get lost trying to find her class? Would she make a friend? Chihiro hoped over prayed for the latter one. Maybe if she made a friend, she could stay with them for the rest of the week? Oh gosh, she hoped so. She only had one other friend, and that was the Kohaku River. It was always there for her. The forest - trees and wind, they were her friends too, but the Kohaku River had always, always been there.

Thinking quickly, Chihiro made a fast change of clothes - a white turtle neck shirt with a pair of her pink shorts. The only type of pants she wore were pink shorts, yellow shorts, or tights underneath a dress or skirt. Yuuko often laughed about this, saying she was not only the smartest girl, but also the easiest one to shop for. Downstairs, Chihiro put on her pink shoes - they were a little too big - and grabbed her house key. After making sure that Hiroshi and his car were gone, she slipped out of the house and made a mad dash for the forest. It was maybe fifteen minutes away, but if she ran, she might make it there in five.

However, Chihiro soon ran out of breath, and began to walk shortly after, clutching her side.

Once in the small forest, she sighed and waited a moment, running her small fingers over the rough bark of a tree. She then continued on her way, following the sound of rushing water, until she came to a river; it was a fast-flowing one, and long, and large, and deep, and wide. It was well- known for its rapids, and once in a while, Chihiro might get to watch a kayaker come down it at a fast speed. Relieved at the beautiful sight before her, Chihiro sat down next to the edge, listening to the water whisper.

"You know," she said aloud. "sometimes I feel strange, coming here and talking to you; you're just a river."

The Kohaku River roared in return, as though offended. A fish leapt out and tried to get to where Chihiro was sitting, in the slow-moving shallow water, by bouncing on the slippery rocks. She watched it fail and give up.

"I'm sorry," she said. "but I mean, if people knew I talked to the forest and wind and Kohaku River then I'd probably get in really big trouble, and I would be crazy." She giggled. "hey, Kohaku River? Wanna know a secret?" she leaned forward, laying on her stomach, head resting in one hand propped up on an elbow. Her other hand reached out and balanced on the surface closest to her, and she could feel the sandy bottom. The river seemed to whisper to her, almost quiet down, even, as though it wanted to hear her secret! She giggled again, and dropped her voice even more.

"Someday, I'm going to run away. Momma and daddy will be fine, cause they'll have the new baby to handle. Then Hiroshi won't be able to find me, and I'll be safe." Once more she giggled. "ooh, he'd be really mad if he knew what I was planning. I bet he'd even try to destroy you, since you're my only best best best friend."

She didn't notice the fish had been trying again, and this time it succeeded, splashing into the shallow water and swimming quickly away. The droplets of water caressed Chihiro's face, and she closed her eyes and sighed.

"Oh, I know you wouldn't want me to, Kohaku. And I'd really miss you and momma and daddy and I'd like to meet the new baby - a big sister should know her baby brother or sister, right? But Hiroshi will kill me if I don't." that was her usual phrase. 'Hiroshi will kill me if I don't first'. "and I tried, to, I really did, Kohaku. But it hurt, and I don't want to die in pain. So I'll have to run away." she waited a second.

"I wish you could come with me, Kohaku. You really are my only best friend."

The river roared, and Chihiro watched it in silence for a while. "I'm going to try and make another friend, Kohaku, at school. I'm going to my first day *ever* of school tomorrow. Momma and daddy are going to stay at the hospital for the rest of the week. I can't stay with Hiroshi for a week, I know I won't survive, and Kohaku, if there's a chance, even a little bitty small chance to live, I want it! and maybe if I make a human friend, then they'll let me stay at their house for the week, and then I can spend weekends there, and otherwise momma and daddy will either one always be home with the baby to guard me. Hiroshi won't try anything with momma or daddy around."

Again, she watched the Kohaku River in silence. After a while, she looked up at the canopy of trees around her. "What do you guys think?" she asked in a voice loud enough so that they could all hear her. "if I don't make a human friend, then where should I run? What should I do?"

The wind howled, making the leaves and branches rustle. A family of wild rabbits hopped into their burrow across the river, and a fishing bird made a dive for the Kohaku River, snatching a fish partway out. The fish kicked free, however, and the bird flew to a branch hanging over the water, not in the least discouraged.

Chihiro returned her gaze to the Kohaku River, and jumped as she heard a twig snap behind her. Twisting around, Chihiro got to her feet and went to inspect where she had most likely heard it. Nothing. There was a rustle of leaves further back from the river, but there was no wind. "Who's there?" she called loudly.

She thought she felt a hand on her shoulder, a voice so quiet that she couldn't hear it, but still... heard it: "Behind you..." Chihiro whipped around, but saw nothing other than the Kohaku River.

"There's nothing except the Kohaku River behind me," she said, voice trembling. Was she really going crazy? Or had the Kohaku River spoken to her? No. she was just hearing things. Then she caught something out of the corner of her eye, and turned her head just in time to see Hiroshi's sneering face before something hard connected with the back of her head, and she collapsed in pain. She opened her eyes, clutching the back of her head, and saw Hiroshi and his girlfriend, Kimiko, standing above her.

She fought tears valiantly. 'Don't cry, don't cry,' she thought wildly, desperately. 'It'll only make it worse...' Kimiko hated her just as much as Hiroshi did. Chihiro tried not to focus on the pain, or the warm gooey liquid she felt on her fingers, or the ringing in her ears.

"So, thought you'd run away, did you?" Hiroshi sneered. For a moment, Chihiro thought he had heard her, and knew her plan. But then she realized that he would have had to have been right in front of her to hear her whisper. He must have thought that because she wasn't home.

"No," she whimpered. "Onii-sama, I- I- I just came here c- cause I, uhm, I didn't want to be in your way!" great lie Chihiro, she thought angrily. Her breathing quickened.

Kimiko picked her up and held her harshly under her armpits, forcing Chihiro's hands out, not up. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw blood on her hand.

"Hiroshi-chan," Kimiko said in the sugary-sweet high voice of hers. "Gaki here is bleeding! It'll get all over my dress."

"Then we'll just have to punish her for ruining your clothes and wash it off, Miko-chan," Hiroshi replied in a voice just as honey-coated. He looked Chihiro directly in the eye. "What do you think, imouto?" he said. "are you a bad girl?"

Chihiro knew this game. She knew it very well, and knew what she was supposed to reply. "Yes I am, Hiroshi-sama." She whispered, praying harder than ever that her tears would not fall. 'Please, please don't cry,' she thought. 'somebody, anybody, let somebody please come and help me...'

"Are you a good girl?"

"No I am not, Hiroshi-sama."

"Are you going to cry?"

Trick question. "N- No, I am not, Hiroshi-sama."

"Do you deserve to be punished?"

It was getting harder and harder to stop the tears from flowing. Her head hurt so, so, so much. She knew that Kimiko's hands would leave bruises. What Chihiro needed now more than anything was to cry, and to be left alone.

"Yes I do, H- Hiroshi-sama."

"Are you going to be punished?"

"Yes I am, Hiroshi-s- sama."

"Why?"

"Because I am a very naughty bad girl. I am always in your way, and I force momma and daddy to play favorites with me; I cry too much; and I bleed too much; and I could ruin Kimiko-sama's clothes."

"How shall we punish her, Miko-chan?" Hiroshi asked, grabbing Chihiro's chin and forcefully pushing her head back, twisting her neck painfully to look upside down at Kimiko. She couldn't stop the tears from flowing, now, or the choked sob that escaped her bent throat. She tried to focus on something else - but what? What? Would Hiroshi kill her for this? Finally, Chihiro settled on the sounds of the leaves rustling haughtily in the wind, the lone caw of a crow, and the rushing of the Kohaku River. They seemed to give her an inward strength and courage - this didn't stop the pain at all.

"All naughty children are spanked," Kimiko said, flipping Chihiro painfully around so that she was facing her. "and even naughtier children are spanked and taught a lesson."

"Especially for being bratty babies and sobbing," Hiroshi snarled, and Chihiro bit her lips, crying out through her teeth in an anguished "Mmmmm!" as the blow to her back made the tears fall even more. 'don't sob, don't sob, don't sob...' "And didn't I tell you to keep. This. Out." Hiroshi continued, yanking out her bow, along with quite a few strands of hair as well.

"I need to practice punishing children for my Home Ec. Class," Kimiko told her, dropping her painfully to the group. Chihiro couldn't hold it in any longer and cried. "SHUT UP!" she was twisted around and thrown over a knee - who's knee? she wondered - and her shirt was forced up and her shorts were yanked down. She yelped at the rush of sudden cold air. And her shoes were removed as well. She wasn't wearing any socks.

Chihiro sobbed even harder then before as a harsh blow landed to her back and bottom. It was from a stick - a long narrow one, that worked as a whip. She could hear it whistle through the air right before it hit her, again and again. Each time, she would scream, and whenever a stick being used broke, something new would be brought up; another harder stick, used for a club; a rock; a shoe; and Kimiko's two-inch long sharp, sharp finger nails even. Chihiro just wished she would die, right then and there. It would be a painful death, but a sweet nothingness would follow.

"Hiroshi-chan!" Kimiko said suddenly. "her head has already ruined my dress!"

"Danm brat!" Hiroshi snarled, and she was ripped off the knee and thrown on her back. She cried out harder as the forest floor bit into her raw backside. His foot connected with her side, then she was hauled up by her hair and dragged to the Kohaku River. Hiroshi and Kimiko splashed out to about their shin height, and Chihiro gasped and, like so many times before, cried out as her bloodied skin connected with the icy water. She immediately regretted her gasp, as her mouth and nose pooled with water, and Hiroshi held her head underneath by gripping her neck.

'He's really going to kill me,' Chihiro thought, struggling wildly. 'somebody, anybody, please help!' suddenly, Chihiro could breathe; she gasped in the oxygen greedily, crying, coughing out as much water as she could. Her body had gone numb, and she opened her eyes wide - and gasped. Hiroshi was still holding her under water by her neck, yet, her numb body was comforted with warm, clean water that was almost painless. Almost. And she. Could. Breathe. She stopped struggling, and her eyes moved to the left, then right. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she thought she saw a dragon; a beautiful white one with a flowing greenish blue mane. Its scales were like rushing water themselves. It seemed to comfort her, to want to comfort her... she closed her eyes, not believing it. "Kokahu?" she asked, opening them again.

Immediately, pain shot through her body, and she screamed once more. She coughed, hard, and tasted blood, then realized she was being held up by her ankle. By Hiroshi. His face was cold, and Kimiko drew back her fist once more, hitting Chihiro in the stomach until all of the water, her stomach's contents, and blood, were out. She then pummeled her face before giving it up and washing her fist off in the Kohaku River.

"I think she's been punished enough," Kimiko announced, sloshing back to shore. Hiroshi followed her.

"Have you been punished enough?" he demanded. The game again.

"Y- yes Hiroshi-sama," Chihiro choked out. He dropped her on the ground, and leaned in close.

"Have you learned you lesson well?"

"Yes I h- h- have h-h- Hiroshi-Sam- ma."

"Good." He said, kicked her one last time, and he and Kimiko left. Chihiro felt so light headed it wasn't funny. Her body was wracked with pain, and she sobbed there on the ground for a while until blissful oblivion took over her. She hadn't had a beating that bad since the weekend spent with Hiroshi.

As she slept, she dreamt also; and somehow woke up enough to control her body yet still feel detached enough to dismiss the pain. She lay down in the shallows of the Kohaku River and fell asleep again.

And she dreamt:

She was floating freely, breathing easily, under water. She could breathe - in and out, in and out - and she wasn't wearing anything. She wasn't bothered, though. The water was warm and comforting, and caressed her gently, almost paternally, for lack of better word - as she floated on and on forever and ever. All around her was water - behind in front to the left and right, above, below. It faded into just blueness. She closed her eyes, and when she opened them again, a dragon was there. His eyes were a strange, piercing green, and he gently nosed her.

"Am I dead?" Chihiro asked, and though only bubbles escaped her mouth.

Bubbles escaped his nose, and he began to swim away. "No, wait!" Chihiro cried. There was a boy - with the same eyes as the dragon. He had almost shoulder length raven-colored hair, and he gentle held her cheek. He closed his eye and pressed his lips to her forehead. Then began to fade away.

"Don't leave me," she murmured, opening her eyes. She blinked. The sun was just rising, and she was laying in the shallow water of the Kohaku River. Its little waves cascaded over her, and she felt a lot better, as she remembered how she had gotten there.

Standing up, Chihiro splashed out of the water, and squeaked as a blast of wind almost knocked her over. She steadied herself against a tree, falling to her knees. It was so hot! Then it was over. Shakily, she stood and realized she was all dry.

Slowly, she looked back to the Kohaku River, which went on with its usual roaring against the rapids. Had she had a dream? She had. A dream. But what had it been about? She couldn't remember. But it had been important. Moving sluggishly, Chihiro got dressed carefully, not wanting to hurt herself; not while she was pain-free. She began to leave, but stopped, and turned. She couldn't shake the feeling that whatever she had dreamed had been important, and she should remember it.

"Thank you, Kohaku River," she whispered. "you're a good friend." Then she turned and sprinted away, though a little bit slow from her too-big shoes.

Hiroshi was there, just getting in his car. He looked at Chihiro and sneered. "hurry up," he snarled, flinging in her light blue backpack. She had already packed it the day Yuuko and she had gone shopping for it. Chihiro clambered in and buckled her seatbelt. They drove to her new school in silence. Hiroshi pulled to a stop in the parking lot, and Chihiro stared up at the large three stories of brick in amazement. The bell had just finished ringing, and she knew she would be late.

"Look here," he snapped, and Chihiro looked at her brother, unbuckling her seatbelt. He grabbed her hair and yanked at it repeatedly, and Chihiro bit into her bottom lip to stop from crying out or whimpering. He turned her around, and continued his yanking, fingering the sore spot on the back of her scalp. When he finally stopped the painful yanking, he turned her around again and ordered her to close her eyes. He dabbed some cold stuff over her temple and on her right side of her jaw. Then on her neck. When he stopped, he blew over her face, then told her to open her eyes, and held up a mirror. Chihiro couldn't stop a gasp from escaping her partly opened lips.

Her hair had been French-braided back all around her head except for a few wisps of bangs. All of the tiny French braids came together at the top/back of her head, hiding the bump there, and became a normal ponytail. Her hair wasn't long enough to actually hang down, but when she moved her head, she could feel the little bobbing pony tail beat her head gently all aroung. Her usually pale face and neck were more filled in, but only slightly. Not enough to really notice. Her cheeks were a little rosier, and her lips a little pinker.

Make-up.

She looked back at Hiroshi. "Thank you, onii-sama," she whispered, lowering her head in a bow. She liked the feeling of her little boppy ponytail hitting the top of her head.

"Whatever," he said. "don't talk a lot. In fact, avoid talking or smiling or anything like that whatsoever, got it?"

"Yes, Hiroshi-sama." Chihiro said obediently, unsure if her was playing the game with her again. He wasn't.

"Good." Hiroshi said, then got out. He walked around the front end of the car, opened Chihiro's door, and took her out. Balancing her light frame on his hip, he pushed her seat forward, and set her on the floor of the back. Being careful of her face and neck, he took off her crumpled and bloodstained shirt, and, again being extremely mindful of her neck and face, replaced it with a light purple turtle-neck. Then he replaced her shorts with a small light purple skirt, being careful of her lower back and bottom, much to Chihiro's surprise.

Then he examined her ears carefully before fastening some small, purple earrings in. purple was her favorite color. She wondered if he had gotten all of this stuff for her - did this mean everything was over between them? Would they be real brother and sister like on the TV? He retied her pink shoes, then lifted her out, closing the car door and pocketing his keys. He set her on her feet and examined her from all angles, head to toe.

"Right," he said. "remember what I said about moving those lips and exercising that voice box of yours," his tone became harsh and warning. Chihiro bowed again. "Yes, Hiroshi-sama." She said.

"Good." He snapped, and snatched her up once more onto his hip.

He carried her stiffly inside, and went to the other end of the first floor. The many hallways and rooms were dizzying to Chihiro, and she had to blink a lot to keep from rocking right out of Hiroshi's arms. Finally, they reached the office, and entered.

"I'm checking Ogino Chihiro in for her first day," he said to the secretary. She smiled at Chihiro.

"My, what a pretty young lady. A bit late, aren't you? school started three weeks ago."

Chihiro stiffened, unsure if she would be punished for that. Was that Hiroshi's plan? To have her punished?

"I am in a hurry, if you'll excuse me," Hiroshi said. "does she need an excuse? What's her first class?"

"Grade school, honey, one class all day." the secretary replied, doing something on her computer. Then she scribbled something down on a piece of paper and handed it to Hiroshi, who put Chihiro down on her own feet. She noted the floor was made of marble - or something shiny and pretty like it.

"Room 498 third floor, second hallway to your left," she said, handing the paper to Hiroshi. He bowed and left.

He came back a second later. "Are you coming, Chihiro?" his voice was completely neutral. "Oh," Chihiro said, bowed, then exited with her brother.

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A/N: well? Waddaya think?