"This Sickness"
"What is this illness I have? What is wrong with me? What is my illness? Jealousy? Possessiveness? Envy?"
She wasn't a bad looking girl. There was a time that every boy in the village wanted hold of her. Well, it had seemed that way. He himself had been excluded from that group, seeing as he had always had his eyes secretly drifting over someone else. That and, he had to admit, he was a bit bias. He had always been fonder of his sister's look and style rather than Astrid's. Not for any other reason than he was very fond of the idea of a female him strutting around.
He enjoyed the fact that no one would ever wonder what he looked like as a girl, and no one would ever wonder what Ruffnut would look like if she were a boy; all they had to do was look at the two of them standing side by side to answer either question. And, in his mind, they were both-by far-the most attractive, of either sex, on the island.
Astrid had her pros. He wasn't so blind as to not see what made all the other boys, including Hiccup, stumble all over themselves to get to her. It just failed to do anything for him at all when he looked at her like they all did. She was a sad excuse for a vikingess. The only good thing about her was the fact that she seemed to not want anything to do with any of them physically. She seemed only focused on proving herself as a warrior woman-he always had wanted to tell her she needed to give up now. Yes, Hiccup was fascinated with her but, she didn't even realize he existed. It had been her only saving grace. Now that Hiccup was the village hero she was plastered to his side. That short little blonde girl was taking him. She was pushing Tuffnut farther away from his goal than ever. She was making an enemy of him; and she had no idea.
Ruffnut snarled as she lunged forward, cutting a thin strand of his hair as he fell back from the jab. "Stop dodging! What are you, a bitch?" She snarled another time, baring her teeth at him as she pulled back and set herself up for another jab, which she took within seconds.
"Don't you wish." Tuffnut growled in response, drawing his upper lip back as he did, clotheslining Ruffnut easily before she could skitter away. Coughing she fell to the ground, where he was straddling her in seconds, holding her up by her shirt front with a tight fist.
"Asshole! You could'a choked me!" She roared, flying up and grabbing hold of his wrist, glowering at the fist he was poising above her. "Do it!" She sneered, grinning wickedly as he opted for slamming the back of her head into the ground instead, pulling her up and lifting his fist another time. She gave another light cough, but tightened her grip on his wrist, lifting herself off the ground this time, swinging for his face. He already had a busted lip, he wasn't going to give her another chance to wound him.
He slammed her head into the ground again, bending forward fast enough to duck the punch. This time, he struck her in the jaw, before even lifting her up again. Ruffnut whimpered, but began to struggle beneath him; she had never been one to lie back and accept defeat. He sat harder on her thin stomach, growling now as his hand moved to wrap around her throat, driving her head into the dirt another time as he struck another punch. This time her legs flew up in effort to strike him in the back of the head, her hands wrapping desperately around his and his leg, blood spilling from her mouth.
"T-tuff...stop!" She screeched, closing her eyes and shying from the third blow he was sending her way. He failed to blink, rather punched harder than before, this time striking for her eye with a blind precision. His grasp on her throat tightened, she reached for him instead of his hand, tears mixing with the blood and dirt on her face. The viking let out a bezerker's roar, striking his twin another time before she managed to let out a strangled scream.
Tuffnut blinked when he realized what he had done. He rolled off of her, running a hand down his sweaty face and taking a deep breath, feeling it shudder in his chest as he did. Ruffnut rolled onto her side, trying to lift herself on a weakened arm, falling face first into the dirt again. She whined, wrapping her arms around herself and rolling on her stomach, unable to open her eyes for the pain. "Gods, Ruff..." He got to his knees and lifted his sister, feeling her flinch at his touch as he did. He sat her up, supporting her by the back before lifting her chin up, turning her wounded face left and right as he looked over what he had done with solemn eyes.
"Y-you..." She choked on the words, doubling over to cough and dry heave. He got up, bending over and forcing her to her feet, limping with her towards the house.
"I forgot who you were. I'm sorry." He listened to his sister's wounded growl, feeling her purposly shove him a few feet to the left.
"I'd HATE to see...wh-who you thought I was..." She even managed to lift her head enough to give half a grin to him. He had to grin back, shaking his own head as he pushed the door to their house open and led her to the table, making sure to sit her down as gently as possible.
"You always could take one hell of a beating, Ruff."
He walked to their sink, pumping water into a bowl before getting a cloth and walking back over to her. She was leaning heavily on the table, her head swaying like a drunk's, her body slumped with the effort of keeping her up. "Yeah, well, if you hadn't gone crazy I would've had you." He lifted her head again, wiping blood and dirt off her cheeks with gentle strokes of the damp cloth.
"Bullshit. You kept yourself wide open half the time. I could'a had you easy, even if I hadn't forgotten myself." He snorted just as she did, her head rolling back in his grasp before he gently moved it forward again.
This was a dance they had spun in and out of over and over again; ever since they were children. They would beat the tar out of each other, for no reason other than a need to destroy. Their arguments could've been settled the same way other children settled arguments; bickering, whining, tattle-telling, all of that. But, instead, they chose to settle their arguments on their own; by tearing each other apart. And, after one too many times, their parents had stopped caring. They stopped trying to pull the twins apart. They stopped trying to take care of each child after the brawls, only to have them fly at it as soon as they were released.
So, the twins had gotten use to taking care of themselves. Cleaning up their own messes. And each time, no matter how hard they hit each other, the one with fewer wounds would carry the severely injured into the house or into the kitchen, sit them down at the table, and tend to the wounded sibling. Each had taken care of the other countless times, to the point that it was almost a comforting ritual for them.
Her right eye was swollen shut, its crease caked with dried blood that was only continuing to layer as more fell over it. He started to dab at it, listening to her take a sharp breath in through gritted teeth, her thin brows furrowing in pain. "Y-you're crazy...I had you..." Her head dropped forward and he sighed, lifting it one more time to continue cleaning it. "Wh-who were you...You thinking...?" She frowned, but couldn't get out the words. She was almost unconscious, that he knew.
His lips pressed into a thin line as he wiped some new blood from her nose, her eyes now closed completely. "Astrid." She lifted her brows with a lazy smile, falling forward again, but he caught her with a quick arm around her waist this time. He knew the words hadn't registered at all, and in the morning, she wouldn't remember a damn thing he had told her.
Lifting the identically lithe body of his twin over his shoulder he rose to his feet, dropping the cloth into the bowl of water on the table with a splash. He hefted her down the hall to their shared bedroom and, as gently as he could muster at the moment, dumped her onto the bottom bunk's mattress. He knelt by the bedside, unwrapping the thin leather thongs from the matted fur of his sister's boots, tugging them off her feet and tossing each boot to the floor. Finally he pushed her legs onto the bed and tugged the sheets from beneath her. "If she's not careful, I'll tear into her just like I did you..."
He was glowering at his sister's sleeping form, draping the sheets over her before standing and grabbing the two or three animal skins at the foot of the bed. Ruffnut had killed each bear these skins came from. His sister was the only kind of woman a viking could ever hope for. Strong, good looking, fearless...She was a female him. Being twins they could do many things other people could not. Part of him wished, for only a few seconds, that meant they could trade bodies. Wouldn't Hiccup want a woman like Ruffnut? Wouldn't Hiccup want a female version of him? Doesn't matter what he wants.
Dropping the skins over his sister he turned and started out of the room, not ready to call it a night yet. Still scowling he watched his Terrible Terror scuttle quickly into the room, skittering away from his feet with a quick and fearfully respectful glance up at him before jumping onto the bed and curling atop his sister's stomach.
The little dragon may have been his, for the most part, but it still loved to sleep with Ruffnut for some reason. Tonight, the animal seemed to be able to sense the disturbed feelings rolling off of him in waves, and seemed to know to keep its distance until everything cleared. He had to respect the animal for it; he always thought the little beast was too stupid to understand anything like that. He watched the dragon with narrowed eyes, then turned and walked out of the room, shutting the door with a still hardened frown.
If he wasn't careful he may do something to the little viking girl that he would regret. He wondered what Astrid would do, if she knew how deep Tuffnut's hatred for her had become. And, he wondered what he was going to wind up doing to Hiccup, if he got ahold of the boy before these weird feelings went away.
"It's getting worse...My illness..."
