Pseudologist
Merriam Webster: This word can be used to describe a pathological liar, but it can also refer to the common garden variety teller of untruths.
Gaius was out of breath as he gained the top of the stairs, and his legs ached in a way that made annoyance into peevishness. Dismissing his interior tirade at the difficulties of old age, he focused himself on the view from the top of the stairs. He peered out at the practice yard where Arthur and the knights were training. The shouts of the young men floated up to him as he stood taking slow breaths and rubbing the crick in his hip.
Merlin was running, providing Arthur target practice as he scurried back and forth with a heavy wooden shield. It was the same exercise that had introduced his ward to the young Prince only a few years ago.
Gaius had to smile as he saw Merlin give little leap as he ran, and Arthur's perfectly aimed knife slid ineffectually from the rim of the shield. Gwaine and a few others guffawed and made a few rude comments. The old physician could almost hear Merlin's cheeky response among the general jibes. Arthur only motioned for his servant to resume the exercise.
The young King scored three solid throws, hitting the center of the shield with a rapid regularity that astonished even the old physician. He smiled as he watched the scene unfold. On the next pass, Merlin gave another little leap, but instead of foiling Arthur's aim, the hapless servant came down wrong on his foot and the shield slipped as he twisted downward. The boy fell in a tangle of limbs and shield, landing with a thump that was audible, even from Gaius' outlook.
The old man winced, and then his heart froze. Merlin didn't get up. Arthur was beside the boy in an instant, holding up an imperious hand to gesture for calm, even as he leaned down. The knights gathered around the pair, obscuring them from view. Moments passed. Gaius waited. His heart pounded. After what seemed like a long time, Merlin stirred and Arthur helped him sit up. Gaius could see Percival's wide smile even from this distance.
After a few moments, his dark haired ward clambered unsteadily to his feet, smiling broadly, even as he slowly began to walk back to the castle. The knights were teasing him now, finding relief in their laughter. Gwaine started to accompany him, but Merlin shrugged off his concern and continued on alone., holding a towel to his arm. Clearly, his injury didn't seem serious. Gaius headed back towards his chamber, knowing that in the end, he would end up being the judge of that.
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Merlin took a deep breath as his head spun. It wasn't much further to his room, he told himself. There were dark motes dancing before his eyes all around him, but a few more deep breaths made them recede. His head ached. There was a huge goose egg on the back of his head where he had smacked it on the shield as he fell. Merlin poked at it gingerly, and hoped that Gaius would not be in his chamber. The last thing he wanted to do, was explain this latest injury to Gaius. He knew he had brought it on himself. His jumping had annoyed Arthur and the knights had laughed and it was all in good fun. He enjoyed annoying Arthur far more than he should have. Dollophead had missed a shot. Funny, Arthur had sounded more aggrieved than angry once he had seen the cut on Merlin's arm. Good thing he didn't know about this other minor problem with his head.
The warlock felt dizzy, but he figured it was from the blood trickling from the cut on his arm, where Arthur's knife has thrummed past him as he fell. Gawaine had wrapped a towel around it, but even with that, the blood was dripping on the immaculate hallway that he had mopped only that morning. He staggered a little bit. He just needed to sit down he reasoned. He wondered briefly if he was thinking clearly, but then, since he had asked the question, that must mean he was fine. He pushed the physician's door open quietly.
Damn! Gaius was sitting in his favorite perch by the window, deeply engrossed in one of his medical books. He shuffled past, giving a quiet 'hullo' as he neared his mentor.
"Let me look at it, " said Gaius, with his typical asperity. "What did you do this time?" Merlin sank gratefully on to a stool and his head stopped spinning a bit. Good. Gaius carefully unwrapped the makeshift bandage.
"I was going through the kitchens, " he began, stopping in sudden consternation when Gaius shot him a piercing glance.
"What?" The old physician sounded a bit impatient.
"Yeah. I'm telling you how it happened, Gaius. " He gave a glance upwards at his mentor and hoped he was making sense with his story. This was only a minor injury and he didn't want to tell Gaius how he had been at fault for teasing Arthur and then falling down like an idiot. He began again.
"I was going through the kitchens, you know. Getting Arthur's food and I thought he would like this fresh cheese that Margot had just brought out. But she didn't have any knives clean, so…"
"You cut yourself cleaning the knife?"
"Well, not washing the knife," he began. "I thought I should sharpen it."
"You cut yourself sharpening the knife?" His mentor sounded a bit aggrieved as well. Funny.
Merlin nodded in assent, immediately regretting the movement as the dark motes returned and his head spun.
"Clumsy, I know…." The warlocks voice trailed off.
"Well, at least that part is true," said the old man under his breath.
"What…"
"You'll need a stitch or two, " the old man continued, as if had not heard Merlin. He turned away to gather the supplies he would need for the simple procedure.
Merlin's head was pounding. Why had Gaius said that? Of course, he was clumsy. He was the clumsiest servant in the Five Kingdoms. Arthur had said so. Strangely, he felt like vomiting, but he worked on sucking in huge breaths of air into his lungs and the feeling dwindled.
His mentor dragged a chair close and positioned the light on the table closer and began to clean his wounded arm. The pain was tolerable, but together with the pounding in his head, Merlin began to see double almost immediately and before he could stop himself, he was on the floor. His head reverberated with the echo of the blinding pain of his prior fall. Gaius was calling his name. The agony in his head surged up, like a roiling black tide and carried him away into the darkness.
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Merlin awoke, his head muzzy and vague, comfortable on a soft pallet or bed. He sighed. The sheets were fresh and still smelled of soap. There was a cooling poultice on the back of his head.
"What?' he murmured as a face swam into view. At first he was unsure of who it was, but in a moment, a flaring white eyebrow told him he was in deep trouble.
"How are you feeling, Merlin?"
"Better?" He prayed he sounded convincing.
"That was a bad fall you took out there with Arthur, my boy. I saw the whole thing, you know, from the top of the stairs near the windows. You were teasing Arthur and you tripped and fell with the shield. You're lucky I saw you hit your head. At least, I knew what I was dealing with!"
Merlin nodded, again wishing he hadn't.
"No permanent damage," said the physician, carding his hand gently over Merlin's tender skull. "You will need to rest a few days. But I do believe you have found a new career, my boy."
"Beside 'worst servant', 'hidden warlock and 'master of dragons' said Merlin hoping to coax a smile from his mentor. Truly, he had not meant to cause Gaius so much trouble and he was hoping to be forgiven.
"Pseudologist ."
"What? Sue what?" Confusion overcame his tenuous hold on banter. "What's that?"
"Liar."
"Oh…" said the servant. "Yeah, well… I really didn't… you see…"
His attempted explanation was stopped dead by the flaring eyebrow. Time to admit the truth.
"Yeah."
"Yeah," echoed Gaius, with a smile at last.
