Choudai Akimichi considered the young Nara in front of him covered in sweat and barely coherent.

Shikijou panted and said again. "Choudai-sama, t-the Uchiha and the Senju clan heads are at the front gates! What do we do?"

Choudai turned and looked at Inoko. They met eyes and instantly understood. One of them was going to have to tell Choudai's brother and one of them was going to have to go to greet the two clan heads outside the gates.

Choudai's brother, whose wife was in labour right now.

"Well, I'm off to greet them." Choudai said. He'd take dangerous clan heads over Chouyoshi's temper at being interrupted right now. "Have fun with that."

Inoko's eyes went wide. "You've got to be kidding me. Choudai, get back here and wrangle your brother like a - "

Too late. Inoko's shouting was muffled by the screen door sliding shut. Choudai folded his hands in his sleeves and walked down the hallway, ignoring the llooks of the various clan members. No doubt curious about what made a Nara run like something was chasing him.

Choudai keeps his eyes ahead and his face calm - all the while his minds is racing, trying to recall half forgotten information from a lifetime ago. Thirty two years before, Choudai had been someone else. The details were fuzzy, because that's what living did (unless you were a Nara), but he remembered a story about a boy with a monster inside him who would change the world one day. He remembered the name of a village that didn't exist yet.

Konoha.

The Akimichi clan compound was surrounded by a high stone wall built by the second head of the clan using multi-size technique to place the thick slabs of chakra repelling stone from a secret mine in the mountains. The gates - made of the same material were large and impossibly heavy. It was largely thanks to this formidable defenses that the Akimichi fared so well in the uncertainty of the war torn era.

A long flight of stairs lead up to the very top of the wall, to the broad path along the top and the central watchtower. The three remaining Nara's on gate duty looked relieved when he ducked into the guard house, wild brown hair just barely brushing the ceiling. Even houses built for Akimichi were a little too small for Choudai sometimes.

"Kiro?" Choudai asked the nara on duty.

"We don't know what they want." Kiro drawled. Only the flicker of her dark eyes toward the ground showed her anxiety.

Choudai stopped to look out of the tiny sliding window.

Yup.

That sure was an Uchiha and a Seiji, standing alone in front of the clan compound. Choudai could just make out the sound of someone shouting. They were too far away to be intelligible.

Choudai shut the window and looked up at the ceiling. Then he folded his arms into his sleeves again and nodded to Kiro. "Open the gate."

She paused. "My lord?"

Which was Nara for 'are you fucking insane?'

"We can't keep Clan heads waiting all day. It's bad manners." And if there was anything the Akimichi hated, outside of wasting food, it was deliberate rudeness.

Kiro's mouth went pinched, but it wasn't like she could refuse. The Nara and Yamanaka were close to the Akimichi, but they were still only vassals. If the brother of the Clan Head gave a direct order, she had to obey. "As you wish, my lord."


Madara pinched the bridge of his nose as Hashirama continued to whine about his damnable little brother. Even when Tobirama wasn't around, he was causing Madara's problem.

"And then Mito started doing that scary smile thing, you know the one —"

Like a gift from the gods, the gate chooses this moment to open quietly, cutting off Hashirama's asinine story. Out of stepped the largest man he'd ever seen, standing at least a foot over madara and Hashirama. Even for the Akimichi, the man was tall and broad. There was a layer of fat the did nothing to hide the way he could crush boulders in one hand if he wanted. Two red slash marks followed the curve of his cheekbones. His chakra felt like a still ocean, quiet and calm and fathomless. Bottomless.

Madara knew who this was.

The way Hashirama went still beside him said he did too.

Choudai Akimichi.

The Mountain.

Madara had never faced him in battle - the Uchiha knew better than to go up against an alliance that included people who could steal your mind just from looking in your eyes. Plus, the Akimichi outnumbered damn near everyone, not even including the Nara and the Yamanaka.

Choudai the Mountain's reputation preceded him. It came from the fact that he once grew so large in size that he picked up a mountain and dropped it on his opponents, leaving only a few survivors. Ninja were fast and durable, but there wasn't much anyone could do against something that big.

The man studied the two of them from the top of steps leading to the compound gates. "Uchiha-San. Senju-san. This is an unexpected visit."

How could such a large man have such a quiet voice? Looking at this man, who walked softly and spoke softly, doubt ate at Madara. He was big, yes, but Madara could sense no ill will, no killing intent from him. He looked curious, but not wary.

Madara nudged Hashirama when he just sat there and let the silence drag on. This was his idea, so Hashirama should suffer for it.

"H-huge." Hashirama said.

Madara covered his eyes. They were going to die and it was going to be humiliating. He was going to get squished.

Izuna was going to laugh forever.

The Akimichi already know how alliances work, Hashirama said. Let's just try it, Hashirama said. I'm sure it'll be fine, Hashirama said.

He really needed to stop listening to Hashirama's ideas.

"I mean, it's nice to meet you?" Hashirama squeaked.

"Stop talking." Madara hissed. He shoved his idiot friend hard enough to make him stumble. "You're making us look like idiots, you bastard!"

Hashirama squawked. "Shut up!

"It's nice to meet you as well." Choudai said.

Madara froze in the middle of putting Hashirama in a headlock. Acting like a child in front of Choudai, the second in command of the Ino-Shika-Chou alliance.

Madara blames Hashirama's influence. Most of Madara's problems could be traced back to the Senju. He straightened up, dropping Hashirama out of his headlock. He met the eyes of the mountain, projecting dignity as hard as he could. "The Uchiha and the Senju extend their hands in an offer of friendship towards the Akimichi, Nara, and Yamanaka clans."

Choudai's face remains passive. It's oddly intimidating.

Madara feels his mouth pull down. He doesn't like it. Madara is used to being the best or the best. For a long, long time Hashirama was the only one who could even come close to matching him. Even Izuna lagged far behind.

The Akimichi is stronger than most ninja, without using any chakra at all. Plus he has seven years on Madara. Experience is nothing to scoff at.

He could take Choudai, of course, but you never fought just one Akimichi.

Madara eyed the mountain's arms - easily the size of Madara's head - and swallowed a bit. His mouth felt strangely dry.


and then there was drama and world building and war and a spring wedding