Disclaimer: For anyone reading this, it's FANfiction… Rights belong to Cassandra Clare, the plot and wordings belong to me.
End
She has to escape. She decides to drown her loneliness in dancing, flirting, finding other men.
It isn't that she hates the people at the Institute. Quite the opposite; she loves them, her family as it has been for almost eight years, but now missing someone and with two new threads on the tapestry of her life.
Clary. She honestly likes the girl; she was potential sister material. Magnus. He makes Alec happy, and that was what Isabelle wanted. Jace, her brother in everything but blood. Alec, her older brother, always present in her life.
She loves them, all of them, but at times she just needs to leave them. She can't bear their happy glow, their love shining out of their hearts, beautiful and pure and not broken like her. She gave her heart away once, one night in Idris. Nothing happened and yet, everything happened, that one night. She had been broken, despairing and grief-stricken, and she'd wanted an escape. He didn't give her the one she wanted, but in some ways, what they had done was better. By the time the dawn had come with its gentle sunrise, her heart had been mended, repaired and then given away, to the tall, dark-haired Daylighter.
She doesn't understand why she has to be the one without a perfect ending, why she's the one constantly alone and surrounded by happy couples? It's worse than just being a fifth wheel on a date. This, she knows, is permanent, real, not just an infatuation or lust. It's love speaking, love in all of the little gestures and things that make Isabelle want to cry and shriek and tear her hair out. Things like Jace smiling at something Clary says, smiling and not smirking. Like Alec, his tension gone with happiness in its place. And throughout it all, she has to smile, smile and pretend to a happiness she just doesn't have.
She doesn't begrudge the others their happy endings; she just wonders why she can't have one herself. Surely there must be at least one to spare? She goes out then, out to the club that they frequent, Isabelle as a means of escape and the others for necessity, to burn out the demonic taint. She smiles at the bouncer, whose eyes widen before he waves her through.
Instantly, she's surrounded by boys. She starts dancing and three guys approach her. She looks them over, trying to pick one, but instead, she sees somebody she knows. Simon. Her broken heart flies up to her throat for a moment before she decides, 'What the hell.' and goes over to him. "Simon, hey!" she says, and is gratified by the way her voice at least stays steady and cool, like the confident Isabelle Lightwood used to be, before the boy in front of her touched her heart, locked away inside. He looks surprised, not altogether in a good way. Her heart sinks back down to its usual place as he nervously looks behind her. "Isabelle. What are you doing here?" She throws a fake smile at him and says, "Dancing. Are you here alone?" He shifts on his feet before saying, "Not exactly..." She hears the voice at the same time she notices the two glasses he's holding. "Hey, Isabelle!" a familiar voice calls out. 'Stupid,' she berates herself as he flare of hope inside shrivels up. Gluing a fake smile to her face, she feels tears sting her eyes, but she forces them back- she won't give him that knowledge, that he hurt her. "Hey, Maia." she says, as the werewolf girl smiles in surprise. Her eyes widen as she takes Isabelle in, saying, "Isabelle, how are you?"
Heartbroken and alone, Isabelle thinks. "I'm fine." is what she says, mentally grateful that she knows how to hide her feelings. "I was bored, is all, so I decided to dance." Maia nods and looks over at Simon, who's still looking at Isabelle apprehensively. His eyes are pleading with her to understand, sending a silent message. She looks at the time, saying, "It's late, I better get going. Bye!"
It's then that she understands, finally. There was one happy ending to spare. It just wasn't for her, and honestly? After seeing how her life has been? She doesn't think it ever will be.
Alright… I honestly don't know if this is good or bad, so if you actually read all the way down to here, reviewing wouldn't take that much longer, would it?
~~Magickless
