a/n: here's something not ina11 wowee. first time trying to write something hxh related and something slightly KilluGon-y. anyway, enjoy~!
Killua had experienced many things in his life, many things that he was certain others would shutter at the thought of. Being tortured by family, electrocuted countless times, learning how to kill at a young age, which also meant watching those many lives being cut short, cutting off any and all emotions upon meeting any one for the first time. Even if this was the norm for him, he would never admit that it was his reality. He could not accept a fate like this and wanted to change it, his reality would not be the same as the rest of his family.
Through his tough upbringing, there was rarely any chance at the young assassin could ever take the time for his wounds to heal. When one was left upon his body, scarring him, leaving a reminder of who he was and what his life meant, another one was usually accompanying the first. And while such wounds were forced to heal, they were to close on their own, without the assistance of anyone or anything. It would make him and his body tough, it could heal on its own, or so thats what he was taught.
So, when Killua was forced to let his wounds heal in a hospital with bandages wrapping around them, nearly covering his whole body, forced to have medication to let the pain go away (not that the pain bothered to much in the first place), his first reaction was to protest.
"I'll be fine. I don't need to stay here! Look, just give me a couple of days and I will be back to full health. Honestly, do think a fight like that would cause me to remain here for long, Gon?"
It had been his friend's idea to keep him here. Gon was worried for Killua's health, he always was, probably just as much as Killua worried for his. Yet, unlike the young assassin, the young hunter was far more stubborn when it came to the well being of his friends. And he had learned that Killua was the type to hide his injuries, which really had made the boy more intent on having him being taken cared of.
"But that guy knocked you out!" Gon reminded. Someone managing to actually take his friend out was indeed a formidable opponent. One that deserved a very violent punishment after hurting Killua. "And he broke your arm. And he almost broke your leg to. And then he gave you more than twenty punches to the stomach. And-"
"Gon!"
Killua shouted his name to get him to stop. God he did not have to list every hit that guy had thrown at him? While it was rather amazing that Gon probably did remember each hit, he'd rather not relieve those memories. Not to mention that the young hunter would probably end up listing his injuries and use that knowledge against him to make him rest.
A sigh escaped Killua and he spoke, "I know what he did to me, but I'm okay."
"No, you're not. You're hurt. You need to rest."
"I can rest at your place, I don't need to stay here."
"No, you have to stay here. They have all the medicines to help make you better. They can do it faster here than you just waiting for them to heal on their own."
Killua opened his mouth to try another reason to get out of here, but was at a loss. No matter what he was going to say, his argument would be shot down by Gon's stubborn worries. With a closed mouth, his lips formed into a pout and he looked away from that determined look his friend was giving him.
"Fine, I'll stay. But only for a week."
"Two weeks."
"A week and a half."
"Two."
"…"
"…"
Killua gave an agitated and annoyed sigh as he flopped back down on the rather fluffy and comfortable hospital bed. He really couldn't win a verbal fight against him. And probably not even a physical one. Not that he wanted to fight Gon in the first place, but the other was definitely growing stronger with each fight.
"You win."
Gon smiled brightly upon hearing that and if his friend wasn't injured, he would have given him a warm embrace. Was he happy upon hearing that he won? A little. He was more happy over knowing that Killua had agreed to staying here. The young hunter wouldn't have to worry about his friend's health too much since he'd be well taken cared for in this place.
"I'll come and visit you every day, okay? And I'll try to sneak in some chocolate for you to."
Upon hearing that, a bright light shone in Killua's eyes. Being able to see Gon everyday (while being stuck here) and have him bring chocolate to? Okay, maybe staying here wouldn't be so bad. Though, he really would just prefer staying at Gon's home and having his dear friend care for him. That would really be the ideal situation.
"I guess I can stay here then. But you better make that a promise."
"Yes! I promise that to you, Killua!"
The young hunter held out his hand, extending a pinky to him. Of course, a pinky promise, Gon was still fond of those. Killua gave a soft sigh, he never thought he'd be doing something like this with someone. And so many times to! This was not the first time a promise had been sealed in such a childish way, but neither minded.
"Good, then I can't wait to see you and my chocolate tomorrow, Gon."
…
Killua had thought the promise they had made would make his time in this hospital go by faster. And while Gon was here during the visits, time had really flown by. But when he was gone…everything was such a drag, so painfully boring and dull. There was nothing he could do within this hospital grounds. He could leave his bed, but he had tried that during his third night and regretted doing so. The nurses had informed Gon, which left the hunter staring at Killua until he had confessed his crime. It was terribly painful to admit to that, knowing how he would be scolded by the other, he even lost receiving his chocolate that day to!
Although, that was not the worst part of his days. The worst part was watching Gon leave everyday. If he had just played off his injuries, feigned he was in better health, or even better yet, not losing in that fight, he would never have to see Gon keep leaving him everyday. The promise of his friend's return was always there, but Killua couldn't help but feel as if he'd never see Gon again. There was always a chance that when he took a step out that door and turned down the hallway, that would be the last Killua would ever see of Gon.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Killua. I promise!"
His cheery words were etched into his mind. As long as he could mentally repeat that, in Gon's voice to, he would be alright. At least, Killua was hoping that he would be.
His fear had heightened as the days passed, but he acted as if nothing was wrong. Although now Killua began to fear if Gon would pick up on his emotional turmoil. Its not like it was hard to conceal, when Gon was with him, Killua was on cloud nine. Just hearing his friend talk, talking with him, sharing (somewhat disgusting) food and chocolate, what more could he want? Well, being free to be by his side was one thing.
Rather than linger on the positive and how he was so close to being released from this torturously boring place, his mind had begun to focus on the negative. His fears had strengthen, Gon would leave and never return. He would go off with another one of their friends. He would end up taking a request and then end up horribly beaten so close to death. He would be gone from his life. He would find someone else to be his friend. He would end up forgetting him. He would be left behind. He would lose a friend, his only friend.
"Killua? Are you alright?"
"Huh? Why do you ask?"
Killua froze to the question, forcing a smile. He hadn't realized such depressing thoughts had been picking at his mind even while Gon was here. Usually the other boy was able to keep them away!
"You're making a funny face," Gon muttered, trying to imitate the one Killua had made. Looking serious and probably lost in thought. "Like that. Whats wrong?"
"Its nothing."
"Killua…"
The young assassin did not want Gon to worry even more about him. Besides, he was certain that Gon would be rather quick to say some positive and naive words in order to shoo the negativity away. And that sounded like it would be able to put his mind and heart at ease. Although, the thought of actually speaking his unnecessary fears was the last thing he wanted to do right now. To make matters worse, he couldn't even run away; things would be worse if he did, he had to remain glued to this bed.
"I'm fine, Gon."
The young hunter gives him a look, one knowing that wasn't the case.
"I'm fine."
"If you say you're fine again, then I won't see you tomorrow."
Gon did not mean for his threat to hurt so much and he really didn't know how much that had stung Killua. It had seem as the young assassin's fears had come to life. He would leave him. If he spoke his fears, he might and if he didn't, he would without a doubt. It all seemed like a lose-lose situation in Killua's pessimistic mind.
The young hunter was waiting for Killua to speak up. He was patient, waiting to hear him give an answer, unlike the other he never guessed what others would say to his demands or questions. He just wanted an honest answer from his friend. Even if it meant waiting in silence for seconds, minutes, he would wait.
"Killua, its almost time for me to leave…"
"Then leave, Gon."
He could not explain why that had left his lips. That was the last thing Killua wanted Gon to do, but it was already out there. His hands clenched into fists, tightly gripping onto the hospital sheets and staring into his lap. If he looked at the other boy now, he'd lose it. He'd look so weak in front of him, weaker than he already was. He couldn't have that.
"Killua?"
"I said leave, Gon."
What Killua didn't see was a rather hurt expression on Gon's face. He never wanted to leave his friend's side, especially when he was injured and needed someone to be with. The young hunter wanted to remain here, return tomorrow and talk with him again. Maybe tomorrow his friend would open up? It didn't matter, Killua had told him to leave, so he would.
Without a word, Gon stood up from his spot and left the room. If Killua would not answer him, then he would not push for one. While Gon was stubborn, even he knew not to keep poking at a distraught Killua...sometimes anyway. He could only hope that tomorrow, no, the day after tomorrow he would get an answer.
As soon as he heard the door close, Killua slapped himself. God, he was such an idiot! He should have spoken up! Now he was going to lose Gon, lose him to who knows what. What was he going to do if he couldn't see him tomorrow? Would he even return the next day? Oh, how he was just aching to leave-
Wait. Killua paused for a moment, mentally counting how many days it had been since he had gotten here. Twelve. Which meant tomorrow would be his second to last day. He would be free! The young assassin would be able to leave and be with Gon! That is, if he wasn't angry or disappointed in him, whatever the young hunter may be feeling towards the young assassin right now, he wasn't so sure. Now that was going to be on his mind on top of his worries to. The next couple of days would really be hell for Killua.
A day without Gon in his life was truly unbearable. He had been around the other so much since they had become friends, so having the other not in his life even just for a day was breaking his heart. It didn't help when he was reminded that it was his fault for having the other out of his life. He had pushed his friend away even when he had truly wanted him to stay. He really did feel like a fool and dreaded hearing his older brother's voice, his philosophy on friendship being struck into him.
No, he could not allow Illumi's voice to get to him, even if the older assassin was not here, he spat a curse at him. Maybe that stupid older brother of his would hear that. Another sigh was let out, Killua did not want to think about his brother or family during this boring day. He wanted to think about Gon, imagine that he might burst through the doors with that happy smile on his face, excitedly ready to tell Killua about anything that happened earlier in the day. It was a dream that never came true. His chest ached when he realized visiting hours were over and Gon never came.
The second that Killua was allowed to leave, he didn't bother to properly check out. He heard the doctor give him the okay, changed into his usual clothes, and then dashed out of there. He probably shouldn't be moving so much so soon, but he didn't care. The pain didn't bother him so much and he wasn't worried about himself or his body. Right now, he had to go and see Gon.
This was probably the fastest he had ever ran in his entire life, and he wasn't even running away from anything, quite the opposite. Killua would have never had guessed he could race over to Gon's home at the speed of light, or what felt like it. Upon coming to an abrupt stop in front of the other boy's door, he hesitated even knocking, fears were striking up again. What if he wasn't here? What if he didn't want to see him?
The thoughts hurt, but he couldn't allow them to linger and take control. So, he pushed the door open and was surprised to see Gon just about to leave (boy was he relieved he did not accidentally hit Gon with how quick he opened the door).
"Gon!"
"Killua?"
"Gon!"
Killua was quick to throw himself to his friend, hugging the boy and accidentally causing the two to fall. A little gasp escaped the young hunter as he found the young assassin on top of him. He was really surprised to see Killua here, actually expecting his friend to stay at the hospital so he could be the one to pick him up and escort him out of there. Guess his friend was far too impatient.
"I'm sorry, Gon, I didn't mean to make you angry," Killua apologized, tightening his grip on the other boy and squeezing him. "I missed you so much yesterday. Please, don't leave me again."
"I'm sorry for not visiting you, Killua," Gon spoke, putting his arms around his friend, though not squeezing him as much as the other was. "I really did want to, but I thought you wanted time to yourself. You really were thinking pretty hard yesterday and you seemed really angry with me."
Killua eased up on his grip, pulling back so he could look down at Gon. "What? I wasn't angry with you at all! And you should have visited! I really didn't mean to tell you to leave..." He said with a sad tone, actually looking apologetic to. "I was just scared that you'd leave me..."
"Why would I leave you, Killua? You're my friend."
Gon's response was just as he expected it. He looked a little worried at first, but by the time the word 'friend' had slipped passed his lips, he was giving Killua that bright and usual smile that graced his face. Killua truly felt like a fool. Gon would never leave him, that was a fact. He just let his thoughts get the best of him, he really should not let that happen again.
"Yeah, I know. But don't ever leave me again, even if I say so. I don't want to lose you, Gon," Killua spoke in a soft and gentle tone, which honestly surprised himself.
"I won't. I promise not to ever leave your side. And I won't lose you either!" Gon said in his sweet tone. He probably meant that in a pure innocent way, but the young assassin liked to think otherwise.
Killua smiled down at the other boy before feeling his cheeks go red. It had taken a while to realize that he had remained on top of Gon and had yet to get off. Its not that it was a bad thing, he had dreamt of being on top of the other every now and then, but now wasn't exactly the time to get lost in his fantasies.
With a quick movement, Killua had hoped off of Gon and held a hand out to help the other up. Gon happily accepted it and thanked him as he stood beside his friend.
"Oh, right, I have some chocolate to celebrate your day out of the hospital! We can eat it here since you're out."
"Really? Great! I'm going to eat it all in the blink of an eye!"
"What? You can't do that! You'll get a stomachache and then you'll have to go back!"
"I was just kidding, Gon. I was planning on sharing it with you."
The two smiled at each other. Things had gone back to normal rather quickly and Killua couldn't ask for more.
