Food Fight


Disclaimer: I now state I do not own any of the people mentioned in this fan fic (though I'm welcome to offers Brendan and Jason!) This is purely for entertainment.

Rating: R

Author's note: I came up with this idea while lying awake. What if Maria had got the chance to get a little revenge on Courtney?

Maria DeLuca gritted her teeth, concentrating on removing the ketchup from the counter while trying to ignore Courtney and Michael flirting. It was driving her insane.
"Hey! Can you get your butt over to that booth? Max and Isabel have been waiting for ages!" she growled.
"Maria, I'm busy." The other blonde replied fingering Michael's bicep lightly.
Maria huffed and walked over to Max and Isabel's booth.
"What do you want?" She said abruptly.
"Nice to see you too Maria!" Isabel quipped.
"Sorry. Just that space brain and bottle blonde over there are really starting to get me." She sighed and flopped into the booth next to Max.
He put an arm around her and she leaned against him.
"I'm sure Michael's not really interested in her. The peroxide fumes must have got to him." Isabel soothed.

Michael looked over to his alien friend's booth, just in time to see Max put his arm around Maria.
Courtney seeing she was losing his attention, decided it was time for dramatic measures.
She began fiddling with the top button of her uniform and licked her lips. Michael brought his attention back to her and groaned. He really wasn't in the mood to pretend to be interested in her today. He really wanted to go over there pull Maria from Max's hold and kiss her senseless.
He felt Courtney take his hand. She fiddled with the ring that still adorned it.
"You have beautiful hands Michael."
He nodded uncomfortably.
"You know what they say about big hands……" Michael was so busy trying to divide his attention three ways between Maria, Courtney and the burgers on the grill, he didn't notice his hand being led up. He did however notice when his hand was placed on a firm, plump breast.

Maria removed her head from its comfortable position in the crook of Max's neck.
"I'll have to deal. He doesn't want me. It's his problem!" Maria flashed a sunny smile before standing and catching sight of the scene in front of her.
"That's it!"
She ran over to Courtney and yanked the girl away from the serving hatch by her hair.
"What did you do that for?!?" Courtney screamed.
"Don't ever go near him again!" Maria commanded.
"Why? Didn't see him complaining?"
Maria was too furious to utter anything.
"Must be after what he can't get from a frigid little cow like you!"
Maria felt like physically being sick. Was that what it was all about?
She laughed bitterly.
"Shows how much you know."
Michael looked between the two girls anxiously. This confrontation couldn't end well. He saw Max move to the other side of the counter and Isabel perch herself on one of the stools.
"You see Courtney, I am so not frigid it's laughable! In fact, before Max went missing, I was ready to sleep with him." Maria confirmed. She was so caught up in the heat of the moment she didn't even care that Max, Isabel and Michael were all listening. At least the café was empty of other patrons.
"If at any time over the summer he had come to me I would have. Even now, more fool me."
Courtney was struck dumb.
"Can't think of anything else to say?" Maria challenged.
This time it was Courtney who growled before picking up a coconut dream pie and throwing it straight at her.
"Whore! Have to go begging for it!"
Maria's eyes flashed. She picked up a half-eaten piece of Men in Blackberry Pie and mushed it into Courtney's face.
"Maria back off." Michael urged.
"Go Maria!" Isabel cheered at the same time.
Max stood helpless.
"At least I don't go throwing myself at anything that moves!"
"Don't see me going after to you do you?"
"You couldn't even get me!"
"Oh I could. I can have anyone I want!"
"Not him. You can't have him!"
"And I think you'll find Max is taken too." Isabel interrupted, earning herself a Saturn ring aimed at the head.
"You fuc-" she began before crossing the barrier into the serving area and kicking Courtney in the shins.
She hi-fived Maria.
"Go girlfriend!"
Michael was over the serving hatch before Courtney could even think about going near Maria.
"Right let's just quit this!" he ordered.
" Shut up!" All three girls chorused.
He moved out of the way and stood next to Max who was shadowing Maria.
"Courtney there are two of us. One of you. Max wouldn't let either of us get hurt. Michael might try and help you but I could kick his ass easily. So I suggest you go back to which ever brothel you came from and leave us all alone." Isabel spat.
"You think I'm scared of you? You, girl who's afraid to break a nail, that THING over there who thinks Michael actually cares about her and Mr Non-violence? Pah!"
Max wrapped his arms around Maria's waist and threw her over the counter, so she landed on Michael who had moved to Isabel's vacated position.
"Let me go!" she yelled hitting his chest.
"Fine you wanna do this the hard way?"
He threw her over his shoulder and ignored the blows she was raining on his stomach and legs with her feet. He knew very well where she was aiming. He thanked all the gods above that she was such a sucky shot.

Once she was safely deposited on Liz's bed, he backed away.
She immediately stood up and hit him.
"What was that for?"
"Don't ever do that again!"
"Do what? Save you from getting your ass kicked?"
She glared at him.
"I will not take that bait. Don't ever manhandle me!"
Michael smirked, giving Maria an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach.
"What?"
"Well I was under the impression that you rather liked that."
Maria was about to comeback with a snappy retort when she realised what she had said earlier. She sunk back onto the bed, her head in her hands.
"God, please tell me I didn't say what I think I said."
He resisted the urge to laugh.
"Sorry."
She shook her head and laughed.
"Once again too little too late."
"What do you mean?"
She laughed again.
"Case A: My father. Never told him how much I loved him and when I realised, it was too late. B: I never told you that I love you too. C: I told you I would have slept with you NOW, when you've already had Courtney. Things can never be the same now. It was meant to be special and now there's no chance…" she stopped when she felt his weight settle on the mattress. His presence, his scent, his warm body felt like it was surrounding her wrapping her in blanket of security. It felt like so long since she'd been alone with him. Felt his skilled fingers running up her leg, over the skirt of her uniform, up her side and around her arm. Too long since she'd felt his hands caresses her neck, the place where he'd given her numerous hickeys. Along her jawbone and traced her lips. Along her cheek, behind her head. An eternity since he'd placed his hand behind her neck and pulled her to him for a deep lingering kiss that left her feeling his lips still on hers. Forever since he'd looked at her at that adorable "please approve" way. Like he was right now.
"Michael…."She sighed, raising her hand to mirror his position.
"I like your hair long…"he whispered, moving towards her.
"I like yours flat…."She breathed closing the last few centimetres between them.
Their lips met again, hungrily this time, trying to make up for the time they'd missed.
He pushed her shoulders down onto the bed gently, as she raised her legs and shimmied along the bed until he was lying comfortably on top of her.
"We're getting coconut all over Liz's comforter…" Maria said, trying to breathe deeply.
"She won't mind…" he whispered leaning in for another kiss.
His hands were tangled in her hair, fishing a stray Saturn ring out of it and dumping it on Liz's floor.
"Michael…." She moaned, so glad she was with him like this again. "Michael…god…Liz…."
"What!" Michael said his eyes wide.
Maria gestured over his shoulder. When he looked he was confronted by a blushing Liz.
"Hi."