[I do not own Twilight or any other the characters (I just wish I did)]

11th May 1919

I have been with Carlisle for almost a month now and I still find it hard to believe what he has told me I am. I mean just a few weeks ago I did not believe the stories about vampires and now I am one. I am still unsure if I am glad he has done this to me, but when I think that the alternative is being dead. Well I don't want to die, although I expect over the years I may change my mind. After all I have seen all the ways Carlisle tried to end his existence at first and failed.

There are many things I miss from my previous life. Although I can not recall much before this existence there are some memories which I have fought to keep, they are mainly of my family. It is now exactly a month ago that I saw my mother die and just over a year when my father died, I will never forget them I will not let myself. How I wish they were alive, but would I force this existence on them? I doubt it; I don't think I would wish this life on anyone.

Now that I am becoming more accustomed to this way of life I am grateful that Carlisle is there. This existence would be an incredibly lonely one without anyone who knew the real you. Although I will never be able understand this as well as Carlisle I have seen it in his mind, so I can understand why he did this to me. I am also thankful that Carlisle has this way of life. Even though I have the burning desire the feed of humans I do not think I would be able to when it came right down to it. Although I realise I will never be fully satisfied and the fire will never fully die down, I do not want to become more of a monster that I already am.


(Yes I know it is short but it is just an early diary entery they do get longer.)

Please Review- would love to hear any idea's for enteries and if you like it or not.

Also please read and review my other stories: Death at First Sight - The Wedding - Morte Prima Del Mezzogiorno