"As he cleaned his left eye, Amaterasu was born, as he cleaned his right eye, Tsukuyomi was born, and as he cleaned his nose, Susanoo was born. With his sister, he could turn imagination to reality."
IZANAGI
By Wallman Tenebrae
Prologue
I was surely awake. But when I opened my eyes, I could not see anything. That is strange, I thought, what time is it? I tried to move my arm to pick up my phone placed on the desk to the left of my bed, but I realized I had somehow wrapped myself up in my blanket. I tried to move my torso, but something was strange again, my body did not respond to me the way I wanted. It took me a while to understand that something was horribly, painfully wrong here.
Why can't I move? Why can't I untangle myself? Why am I so cold? For as long as I remember, I have never slept with my windows open. So where is this chilly wind coming from? This biting cold, cold air striking my face as I was unable to even cover my face? And lastly, why did my body feel so much in pain? Why do I have this great urge to cry so much?... Wait, is that a tree I'm under?
I am totally terrified now. I felt as cold as the air entering my lungs. I tried really hard to think about something scientific that could be the reason for my freakishly abnormal condition, maybe some psychological issue I may have read about. Mostly I was trying to force my mind away from thoughts of evil Cthulhu monsters and creepy Sadako ghosts.
Maybe it is that paralyzing sleep state, I thought, with a touch of desperation.
That could be plausible.
Yes. That is what it is.
'Sleep paralysis' is when, during awakening or falling asleep, a person is aware but unable to move or speak. During an episode, one may hear, feel, or see things that are not there. It often results in fear. Episodes generally last less than a couple of minutes. It may occur as a single episode or be recurrent. Sleep paralysis most often occurs in people who have narcolepsy or sleep apnoea, but it can affect anyone.
Sometimes I would like to creep myself out, for no particular reason at all. Just to feel something as primal as fear. I would go to the weird side of YouTube and start watching 'haunting' videos. One such video I saw was titled 'Terrifying True Sleep Paralysis Stories'. These types of stories at 3'o clock in the morning would always do the trick, what knowing that even people with no history of psychological disorders can have one of these events was too much. I didn't sleep that night.
I heard footsteps. Rapidly approaching near me.
So, this is my first Sleep Paralysis episode. Okay, I'm ready. I may have some very weird hallucinations and feel some unnecessary fear. I knew that not opening my eyes was the best thing I could do in this situation. Don't open your eyes, don't see the monsters. The logic was sound. Ignore any growling or laughing sounds. Yes, I'm ready.
What I was not ready for was to be touched.
I closed my eyes as tightly as possible, hoping against hope for this… creature to go away.
Let it be recorded that I never, ever claimed to be brave.
But the situation quickly escalated. This creature had now lifted me up, quite easily too, and was, uh, holding me against his or her chest. (I really couldn't tell the gender.)
And then, cradling me, holding my outer elbow while my other arm was uselessly pressed against his/her body, the creature ran. The cold wind was mercilessly biting against my skin and my cheeks were numb and the creature was fast and I was wailing now. Hard.
That was not a great experience.
Because of the tears in my eyes, I had to open my eyes. And I saw a very normal-looking human face staring back at me. I blinked. And blinked again.
Was that… a ninja forehead protector from Naruto?
This isn't nearly as bad as I imagined.
...
As the man kept running (jumping, actually), I kept thinking about what was happening to me. As the fear subsided, confusion came forth. This man was not a giant, however much I wished him to be. His elbow pit could touch my head and his fingers were touching the part of blanket just above my feet. But this man was not a giant, because the trees, the houses and the roofs were of relatively normal size to him. Which meant that I had answers to all the questions I had been thinking about since waking up, and not one of them helped me understand my situation any better.
I am a baby. I am of baby size. I can't untangle myself because I can't move my limbs properly because I am a baby. I feel cold because I am a baby kept out in a jungle. The wind was hitting me because I was not in the comforts of my home but in the wilderness, with the mosquitoes and the bears. Nothing made sense. I am an undergraduate student. I've not been a baby for nineteen years!
What was the last thing I had been doing? I don't even remember.
Wow. Awesome me.
I tried to recall from the morning. Woke up. Copied an assignment because due date. Got ready. On my way to campus when Mom called me. We had been chatting. And I was walking. And what happened next? I frowned. Ugh. My head hurt. There was something. Something important happened. I remember a light. Oh. Oh.
It was a car. I only recall looking at the headlights, freezing up before my world went black. There was pain. So much pain that I'm surprised I could even forget that. My left leg and my stomach. Hmm. Did I die? Just like that? All that nineteen long years of living and a dumb car rolled over me and my life is finished? That… didn't set well with me. At all. I shivered slightly, and not just from the cold. I was killed. And now I'm somewhere else. Starting as a baby again. Reincarnation. I am born again. It has to be it. I'm not deeply religious, but I always believed in souls. I don't know why. There has to be something different between the alive and laughing me on the phone with my mother and the dead body I left behind on that fateful road to campus, right?
I never amounted to much in my short life. It was filled with regrets. I always thought, always knew that I had much more potential than I had utilized. I was a good student in the first year of high school, and then I couldn't care. I could draw well, but when I saw some people my age better at it than me and I just never drew again. I could sing. I could play the piano. But I left the classes when I thought I knew enough, and never tried again. I was a jack-of-all-trades in my mind, but by the time I joined my college I was nothing in anything. Just another one in the billions. One day, I was going through those memes, reading, never smiling and I suddenly found something I could relate to too much. Uncomfortably so.
Losing interest and quitting anything that doesn't come easily to you-Check, fear of not living up to full potential-Check, refusing to ask for help, existential anxiety-Check, thinking you're better than everybody else despite having nothing to show for it-Check, always looking for new form of escapism-Check, need for constant validation-Check, interest in psychology-Check, thinking you're destined for greatness-Check, nonexistent motivation-Check, demand of "free space" -Check, easily bored-Check, always tired-Check, reading Wikipedia articles in meantime-Check, trust issues-Check, night owl-Check. Check.
This meme was titled "Gifted Kid Burnout - Bingo". So, that's who I am. A Gifted Kid Burnout. At least now I knew. A stupid meme taught me that.
Escapism. Hah. They got that one absolutely right. I would read and watch almost any type of fiction I could find. Imagining myself in the corridors of Hogwarts Castle, or being a part of the Community, or easily pushing back Frieza, I could escape anywhere I wanted and I loved it. But certain works, I had an obsession with. I would go through their fan forums by day and fanfiction by night. I would read articles on them, watch them again, then read their reviews. And the work I most loved was one that I had grown up with. Masashi Kishimoto's 'Naruto' series. As the mistakes and regrets in my real life would become too much, I would take solace in my wonderland of shuriken and Sharingan. That was my coping mechanism. Actually, before my mother called me, I think I was reading a Naruto fanfiction. Oh no, now everybody would know. Oh, the shame.
"Yakushi-san! Yakushi-san!", the man carrying me called, distressed. A woman walking ahead with shoulder-length light brown hair turned toward us, her head covered by a white coif. She had emerald green eyes. I had never seen green eyes in person before, so I was naturally surprised. She was wearing a black, loose-fitting gown with a white apron over it with sandals.
She said something in a foreign language. He replied something back. This language, this way of speaking and the sounds they made, I knew all too well. I did say that I was a fan of mangas and escapism. But that meant I was reincarnated in a Japanese village! The man gave me to the woman, Yakushi, and I stared had her. Soon after taking me in her arms, she started making cooing noises and I, tired from all the mental somersaults today, shortly fell asleep.
...
The morning was peaceful and it was sunny outside. It has been two days since I was 'born', and I have been carefully observing everything I can see. So far, I can deduce that I am at an Orphanage, since I am currently sharing a room with five other babies. Who are finally all asleep at the same time, thankfully. Yakushi is a woman in her twenties who is our caretaker. Oh, and I am in the Narutoverse. How did work that out? Well, the answer would be the pre-teen boy moping the floor in front of me. I did not catch his name, but he is a good boy. Helps the two caretakers of this orphanage with stuff. And wears a forehead protector with the Leaf-insignia carved on the metal plate.
He talks to me too, but I can't understand any of the stuff he says. Except some phrases like "Ohayo" and "Gomen'nasai" and some other commonly-used words. That's the extent of my Japanese, and I really dread learning a whole new language. But it's really irritating and even scary to not understand what anyone has been saying for days. So, I'll have to manage. As it is, I can't do anything but play with a toy the boy gives me for a few hours. All I can do is be hungry and wet my diapers and poop. Poor Yakushi and her partner have to deal with six bed-wetting cases and two-poop cases and three hunger-cases on an average from each of the babies. This must be downright exhausting for them, they can't get paid enough for this job. I try not to cry, partly to help them, mostly to salvage my dignity. But I can't speak; my vocal apparatus must not be good enough for that. So, cries do eventually escape my mouth and I shamefully drink the milk Yakushi gives me. But, I'll manage by. This is a gift from Gods. To be born in one of my most favorite places in fiction; I never thought that could be possible. So I've swallowed all my complaints for now.
Honestly, I'm kinda surprised by how well I took all this. No anxiety, no hyperventilation, no nightmares. I wish my family and friends to do well without me, but my journey in that world is over. I'm just glad I remember them and my bonds and memories with them. I have a new world to live in now, and after living with the weight of regrets for so long, I'm finally excited about some new chapters in my life.
There are some problems, of course. What should I be, a civilian or a shinobi? I could live a simple, average life with no regrets. Hmm. Maybe not average. I have some twenty years of experience in me; I'll try to earn money. Live a good life. Become a good Gatou; help people. Definitely help Yakushi with her Orphanage who has been so lovely to me. But I still don't know the timeline; it's not like the Hokage Mountain is visible from the windows, and my cradle doesn't even face the windows. Knowing the timeline will be very essential in deciding if I want to be a civilian or not. Third Shinobi War? Civilian, easily. Shinobis got killed left and right and Konoha was always safe from intruder attacks as far as I know. Boruto Timeline? No need to be a shinobi at all, be civilian. But the Main Timeline? I could probably be an Uchiha (I can't completely deny that) in which case Itachi would murder me, or I could even now become one of Orochimaru's experiments (I do fear I will see him any day now, with his fascination with kids, and this being an Orphanage in Konoha) in which case I absolutely can't be a civilian, or be a victim during Chuunin Exams, or be a victim in Kyuubi's attack, or be in the village during Pain's Invasion (even being shinobi can't avoid that death). I have just lived a short life and I plan on living longer now, average life expectancy of ninja be damned. I will become a shinobi if that's the timeline I am born in. I am destined for greatness, and I plan to utilize my full potential this time.
A thought crossed my mind. Where would Naruto be now?
Exactly ten days later, I heard people screaming, in pain and anger and fear. I saw Yakushi and her partner Aida worryingly running towards our room, saw the boy pale-faced and shaking and I got the answers to both my questions when I could feel I was near something demonic. His Killing Intent was so strong that I didn't hesitate to wail, didn't hesitate to wet my pants. Dignity means nothing when facing death. Why was I born here? I loved the real world, goddammit. There was nothing in the real world so terrifyi- oh.
This demon is a metaphor for Nuclear Bomb. This is what the Japanese faced that day, the feeling of death, the feeling of everything you've touched, every place you've went to ceasing to exist. Villages have their Jinchuuriki as Countries had Nuclear Bombs; if one was launched, all the others will be launched too. What a terrifying and stupid world I was living in. Why did it take me so long to realize this?
Aida took me in one of her arms and another kid in the other. They were preparing to run. I tried my hardest to stop crying to help her a little, but a wave of Kyuubi's malevolent chakra hit me and any semblance of control I had shattered. And then waves and waves of that demonic, evil, evil chakra followed as Aida started running with Yakushi and some shinobi helpers, all little kids crying in their arms. I could see it as clear as day, all of them were heroes. They could will their feet to move when that was impossible for me in front of death. I couldn't run from that damned car and they were saving kids from Kyuubi. A great sense of inferiority hung over my head as I ceased to cry after a while. It took them almost half an hour, but they did it, they escaped far away from Kyuubi's path of destruction. It was now that it hit me; this was real. I could get killed anytime. I can't laze around and manage to scrape through this time. I closed my eyes tiredly, and slept through Kyuubi's subsequent capture and imprisonment. The next time I woke up was when Yakushi opened the door to our room with a bundle in her arms, closely followed by a much shorter and older man I'd never seen before in our miraculously spared Konoha Orphanage.
"Yakushi Nono-san, …", he whispered something.
"… hai, Hokage-sama.", she replied.
Two big revelations were casually thrown at me at the same time. This sweet and kind lady will be killed by Kabuto in a short while, and that man was Sarutobi Hiruzen.
Naruto was placed gently in the cradle near me. He was sleeping. He had the whisker-like markings on his cheek, and he had the seal on his stomach. He had become an orphan like me today.
#
To be continued.
