He didn't like to believe in love at first sight. He had loved before, but he liked to pretend he hadn't. It is a complicated thing, love, and Austria likes to pretend he hadn't felt it. In all honesty, he had, and lost a piece of himself along with it. He had loved many people, but everyone single one of them left him in the dust.

He had loved Switzerland.

"Come on, you slowpoke." Switzerland groaned, stopping once again to wait for Austria to scramble up the tall boulder they had to get over.

Austria let out a noise akin to a whimper, digging his fingers into the tough rock and pulling himself up only to loose his grip and slide back into the dust. "Help me!" He snapped, tears building up in his eyes.

Switzerland rolled his eyes and slid down the side of the rock, sitting on one knee and holding out a hand. "Fine I'll boost you up. But this is the last time I'm helping you, I want to get out of these woods before nightfall and you're holding us up."

He gave Switzerland a grateful smile and stepped up on his hand, kicking off and catching the top of the rock with one hand. For a heartstopping moment he scrabbled at the rock, losing his grip, before he managed to pull himself up and sprawl on the top, exhausted.

A minute of sitting face down on the rock later, Switzerland rolled over the top and hopped to his feet, looking disgruntled. They weren't very high, but to the two small countries it was quite unnerving. Even Switzerland seemed jumpy.

"I helped you up, now come on, we have to go." He huffed, holding out a hand for the exhausted Austria.

Austria only pushed it away, shaking his head as he pulled himself up to his feet. "I'm fine."

Switzerland stared at him for a second before he turned and kept walking. He didn't notice the look of admiration Austria was giving him for so easily climbing the rock.

He had loved Hungary.

"I made you your tea~" Hungary sang, opening the door to the piano room with her foot and carrying a tray in. Austria stopped and looked up, the piano music fading away.

"Ah, thank you. I was just getting a bit thirsty." Austria nodded as he waved to a spot where Hungary could set the tea. She seemed to hesitate for a second, before setting it down.

"I also made some extra...I was hoping I could sit in here for a while and listen." She asked hopefully, pouring the tea into a cup. It was clear she was nervous about asking, though Austria didn't know why. She had used to listen all the time when they were younger.

"Why of course, my dear." He smiled softly, and the brunette seemed almost startled. She blinked at him, before smiling herself and pulling up a chair. She poured her own tea after handing Austria his, before settling patiently into the chair.

Austria took a while to drink his tea, before he set the cup down and began to play. Surprisingly, he switched from Mozart to a song he was making up on the spot with Hungary in mind. She hummed along for a minute, and the song got more complicated as Austria got more confident. He just kept playing, having no idea where the inspiration was coming from. Hungary kept humming to it, until eventually she was singing in her language with a passion Austria had no idea she had. It went on for a while, but eventually Austria trailed off and stopped the music. Hungary's voice faded away with it.

They both stared at each other, shocked, the tea cold and forgotten. Hungary seemed the most shocked, but for some reason she giggled. Still laughing softly, she walked over to the piano bench and hugged Austria, pressing a soft kiss to his temple.

She smiled with a twinkle in her eye, and left the room with a swish of her skirt. Austria sat confused for a minute, thinking about how he had never seen someone more beautiful in his life.

Hungary never asked to listen to him again.

He had loved Spain.

"I hate forced marriages." Austria complained to the maid who was helping him get dressed. She smiled politely, nodding. Austria didn't really care that she wasn't allowed to talk without permission, it was better for him to vent. However, he wanted a good conversation partner. "You may speak, dear."

She looked happy that he had invited her to talk. "Thank you, sir. I don't prefer them either, I had to go through one once. The man decided he didn't want me and was merciful enough to let me go. I hope yours goes smoothly." She said encouragingly, brushing off his shoulder.

Austria talked to her for a bit longer before dismissing her. When he left the room, he made sure to tell the guards to get her a promotion.

It was his wedding day, and he was still insistent that he was not the woman of the couple.

Unfortunately, he was still being forced to walk down the aisle. Double unfortunately, he was getting married to Spain.

He'd only met him once, and the man annoyed him to no end. He was way too bright about the world, well Austria much more preferred to be formal.

Then it was time for the wedding and he was sure about two things. He was not the woman of this, totally not the woman of this, and that this was not going to go well.

Surprisingly it went well, and Spain was a good kisser. Not that he was ever admitting that to anyone.

He had...loved Prussia. If what they had could be called love.

Austria sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes and looking at the window. The tink that had woken him up in the first place came again and he slid out of bed, padding over to the glass. He looked out, seeing a figure in the grass below...a figure with white hair. Rolling his eyes, he unlocked the window and peered out. "What do you want, idiot?"

"I wanted to see you." Prussia grinned mischievously, tossing the rock he had been throwing into the air and catching it.

"In the middle of the night?" Austria snapped, withdrawing and shutting the window. Within seconds, the rocks started again. He reopened the window and looked out. "Leave me alone! I'm trying to sleep!"

"Well sleep later Sleeping Beauty, I've arranged a date." Prussia called up, turning to go sit on the garden bench and wait.

Austria groaned and slumped over, hitting his forehead on the windowsill repeatedly. Since there was no other option, he reluctantly went over to his wardrobe and started to pull on clothes.

He went home with an engagement ring that night.

He had had brief loves too. France, Germany, Finland...(People questioned why he supposedly loved Finland. He never told anyone it was because he listened.)

But every single one of them had left him in the dust.

Switzerland had shaped his personality.

"I'm done with you. This time you've gone too far." Switzerland snapped, pacing back and forth.

Austria looked heartbroken, shivering in place. Across the room, Prussia was rapidly whispering to Holy Rome. "I didn't do anything!" He practically wailed, desperate to defend himself. But Switzerland wasn't listening.

"I'm tired of your lazy freeloading, how slow you are, and all you ever do is hold us back! We'd be strong if we didn't have to take care of little cripple Austria. And now you almost got us killed!" Switzerland raged, stopping his pacing to face away from Austria.

The little country was sniffing, tears rapidly building in his eyes. Everything had fallen apart so quickly. "Please I didn't-"

"YES YOU DID!" Switzerland yelled, turning around and slapping Austria. The crack resonated throughout the whole house, and Holy Rome buried his face in Prussia's leg.

It was hard enough that it knocked the frail brunett to the ground, and Austria didn't bother trying to get up. He simply curled up, wailing into his hands.

"Switzerland, are you sure this is the right thing?" Prussia asked hesitantly, looking between the two of them. He looked fairly shocked Switzerland would do such a thing, but there was no regret in Switzerland's eyes.

"Of course I am." He hissed, stalking over to Austria and grabbing his arm. He pulled him up, getting in his face. "Get out of this house. I hate you, and we're not your family anymore."

Eventually Switzerland left after Holy Rome was dead and Austria came back. Except he was different, he could at least act strong, and Prussia never saw the real him again.

Hungary had at least been polite. It still broke his heart.

"I can't stay with you anymore. I know we're legally together but...you've changed Austria. And I can't bear to stay." She said softly, holding his hand. It was a short exchange. She sat him down on the couch and told him straight forward. Hungary gave him the same soft kiss on his temple she always did, and left. Austria was left still trying to process it.

They were officially forced apart the next month.

Spain leaving had been a cold affair. They had loved each other, but they left each other mutually. They were destroying each other from the inside out. Austria still cried himself to sleep.

"We can't be together. Our empire is dissolving and we don't love each other anymore. We're only hurting each other." Spain had whispered into his ear as Austria played the piano, keeping a hand on his shoulder.

Austria had tensed and stared down at his hands. The piano notes faltered for a second before they kept going strong. Stiffly, he nodded. Spain had waited until the last second to tell him, and left without a word the next day. He left his wedding ring on the bedside table.

Prussia had broken him the worst of all. He never dared to trust anyone so completely ever again.

"I win." Prussia said triumphantly, keeping the sword to Austria's throat. The battle was still going, but by now it was dying down into a few Austrian soldiers being swamped by the Prussians.

Austria himself was sprawled on the ground, bloody and forgotten. He felt like it too, but he was trying very hard to keep his head high. It wasn't working. Especially with Prussia in his face, straddling him.

"I've won!" Prussia cackled, stabbing the sword into the ground next to his face. Austria blinked, barely managing to keep from flinching. Prussia noticed and clucked, stroking one hand down Austria's face and digging his fingernails into the existing wounds, widening them.

Austria choked, and Prussia smirked, pulling his fingers away. "You look beautiful like this. Defeated. I've won your vital regions, and I can't wait to claim them." His voice was filled with glee as he trailed his hand down Austria's body, plucking at the buttons of his coat but not unhooking them. "I can't wait to hear you scream."

With that he grabbed Austria's hand and held it up, taking a hold of his pointer finger. Very slowly, he bent it back until the bones cracked and broke. Austria let out a muffled scream, writhing underneath Prussia but pinned enough that he couldn't get away. Blood trickled down his chin as he bit through his lip trying to keep quiet. Prussia continued until every single one of his fingers were broken.

"Try playing that infernal piano now." Prussia whispered in his ear, before getting off him as pulling his sword from the ground. He barked an order and a couple of Prussian soldiers walked over, picking Austria up. His head lolled, having lost enough blood to be half out. "Aren't you going to say anything?" He purred, tilting Austria's chin up with his finger.

Austria was clearly in pain, his eyes hazy, but there was hate blazing in them that almost made Prussia take a step back. "I loved you once. I trusted you." He said hoarsely, spitting out more blood. "Never again."

There was a flash of something dark in Prussia's eyes and his face tightened. "On second thought, don't talk. Soldiers, gag him and retreat. I have my prize and we've won, no need to stay any longer." He leaned in close, kissing Austria harshly and seeming to relish in the taste of his blood.

"Now, you're mine."

Austria had loved many people. He had given them many chances, devoted his heart to every single one, and every single one had left him to the vultures. Practically invited them.

If asked if he believed in love, Austria would reply with a firm no.

But his hand would tighten on the rings in his pocket.