Title: Bonding

Rating: G, humour

Pairing / Characters: The Kurosaki family

Word Count: 356 words

Warnings: Sort of spoilerish for the first arc

Summary: With little success, Isshun attempts to bond with Ichigo

A/N: My dad reminds me of Isshun… I kid you not. Last time we went shopping, some song came up and he left the trolley in the middle of the aisle and took me dancing. So dad, this one's for you…

'GOOOOOD MOOOOORRRNNIIINGGG ICHIGO!!!!!!!'

The scream of rage echoed through the silent house. 'YOU BASTARD, ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL YOUR OWN SON SO EARLY IN THE DAMNED MORNING???'

Kurosaki Isshun smiled weakly. 'As expected of my son… you truly are a man now… able to dodge anything your father throws at you… I'm so proud… so proud…'

'Bastard,' Ichigo growled and stomped downstairs.

Isshun planted his fist on the table. 'My son, you are a man now. It is time you learned the fine traditions of the Kurosaki lineage. You will be expected to take up my battles honourably and fight for what I believe in. so today I will begin your training - you will run around Karakura twenty times and then following that you will – '

Ichigo planted his fist in Issun's face. 'SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU STUPID FOOL!'

Karin rolled her eyes. 'Seconds please.'

Isshun's expression was gleeful. 'Ichigo, when a boy reaches a certain age, there are things he needs to think about… women, for example. Their slender bodies and tiny waists and everything in between…'

Oblivious to the looks of horror he was getting from his children, Isshun continued cheerfully.

'As your father, I must advocate that you come to me whenever you experience certain desires brought on by these thoughts…'

'PERVERT! WHO THE HELL THOUGHT YOU WERE QUALIFIED ENOUGH TO BE OUR FATHER?'

'Run, Ichigo! I'm right behind you! Whenever you turn around, you'll find me! A cactus, a thorn bush, a –'

'GET LOST, YOU IDIOT!'

'Why should I be angry with you? Whenever I come here I'm reminded of the man Masaki died to save… you, Ichigo. My son. How could I be angry? I know, when I get to heaven, Masaki will be furious with me for it. So live, Ichigo… live life to the fullest…'

Ichigo swallowed past the lump in his throat. 'Thanks, Dad.'

Isshun grinned. 'Now then, to show your undying love and devotion to your father, I insist you drop and give me fifty – '

'AARRGGGHHHH! MUST YOU KILL THE MOOD LIKE THAT YOU – YOU –YOU –'

Owari