Hello, all, and welcome to the ramblings that come to my mind late at night. This story is very AU. Veeeeeeery AU. Basically throw out almost everything Jo says in books 5, 6 and 7.

But Harry Potter does belong to Jo Rowling. Severus' half sisters and such belong to me (sadly, even Maeve's mother belongs to me) but all the rest is Jo's.

Also, if anyone is open to beta-ing this story for me, I'd be extremely indebted to you. I need someone to keep me on track and not let this story fall to the dusty back of my CPU like many other things I've written and to keep me grammatically correct when I get on a roll.


"I. Cannot. Fucking. stand. MY MOTHER!"

Severus looked in amusement at the furious teen-aged girl sitting beside him.

"What did she do this time, Maeve?" he asked, knowing she would have told him no matter what he'd said.

"Caitlin, that stupid, bloody baby had a friend over tonight and they were in the office playing some bloody computer game and I was in the other damn roomminding my own business and using Caitlin's laptop to talk to someone online and mum comes in, sees me downstairs and throws this massive bloody hissy fit nagging at me to get upstairs and give bloody Caitlin some peace! Give CAITLIN peace? The stupid bloody cow that doesn't know how to grow up? Sev, she is twenty-one years old and hasn't moved from home, doesn't have a bloody job and has never even attempted apparition because she's too bloody terrified of splinching? AND SHE STILL SLEEPS IN MY FUCKING BEDROOM! And so then I started arguing with Mum, and of course she just spoke to me like some demented bloody five year-old and said that I was keeping them from having privacy! And then when I pointed out that they were in the bloody office, Mum was just like 'Well they won't be there all night' and I was like 'WELL I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE AT ALL!' But of course I couldn't actually say that because Mum would've burst a fucking blood vessel!"

Maeve paused for a second to take a breath and then let it out in one of those short, furious shrieks that only a seventeen year-old girl could even attempt.

"I can't stand any of them! And stupid, bloody Mum is the worst! If she didn't bloody babyCaitlin all the time none of this would ever bloody happen! But, noooooooooo! Poor Caitlin's just a delicate little flower! If you're even on the same bloody floor as her, you immediately turn into a demented five year-old on crack screaming for her attention even if you're just having a conversation on the bloody computer in the OTHER FUCKING ROOM! And of course there's nothing to do upstairs because the bloody telly broke!"

Maeve let out another short shriek and Severus snorted. "So you're asking to stay with me for a while," Severus stated.

His half-sister turned her big blue eyes on him, filled with desperation, "Oh, gods, please!" she exclaimed.

"When do you need to be back?" he asked.

"Thursday next at the latest," she replied, turning to a matter-of-fact tone of voice. "I need to start priming Mum for voice lessons for at least three days before I actually ask for them. She's taking an unusually long time forgetting what happened with Adam."

Severus snorted. The 'Adam' Maeve was talking about was the twenty-one year-old fresh faced (and handsome) singer who had given her voice lessons up until that January. The incident she was alluding to was when Maeve's mum had come early to pick Maeve up from a lesson one day and found the two singers locked at the lips and hands all over the place.

"How is he, by the way?" asked Severus mildly.

"Still in St. Mungo's getting over that poison Papa gave him, but he should be out soon thank the gods. It has been way to long since I've had a good snog. UGH! I just wish they would all just--"

"Shut up and leave you alone," Severus finished for her.

Severus had heard his favorite half-sister rant and rave about nearly everything in the world, but their family was her all-time favorite subject. Maeve's mother was all smiles and laughs to everyone in the outside world, but to her family she was insanely controlling. She had met Severus' father about ten years after Severus' mother, Eileen, had died. As horribly as Carey's controlling tendencies conflicted with Maeve's intense need for independence, they had worked wonders on the train wreck that was Tobias Snape. What was once a horrible drunk and abusive magic hater was now a jolly, quiet and loving old man who was married to a witch and had three magical daughters by her.

Severus didn't spend much time with his father's new family until Maeve had been born seventeen years earlier. Severus knew that she was special from the minute he'd held the newborn babe in his arms. The baby that had been squalling like a banshee in the arms of her mother quieted immediately when taken in the arms of her much older half-brother. Unlike her two older sisters, Maeve did not inherit her mother's easily-tannable skin and angel-blond hair. She instead took after the Snape side of her heritage. She had a great mop of coal-black hair, (reaching to her collar as a newborn) ivory-pale skin, and she even had the Snape nose (though thankfully diluted and toned down because of her mother's genes.) As Maeve grew she became even more physically unlike her sisters by simply not growing. She stayed at a puny four-foot-eleven as her sisters sprouted to nearly Severus' height. The only facial characteristic that marked Maeve as her mother's daughter was her ice-blue eyes. Those eyes never once failed to shock someone to their core the moment they saw them framed by her black, black hair.

But Maeve wasn't simply a Snape in the physical sense. Oh, no. She showed a Snape mentality even when she was still in utero. She made her mother wait to give birth to her for nearly an extra month in the middle of the hottest summer England had ever known. When Maeve finally decided to be born it was right in the middle of a fancy banquet her parents were hosting to raise funds for a charity they funded.

Maeve was most definitely Severus' favorite sister.

"Come on, then," he said, grabbing her hand. "I assume you're already packed?"

Maeve gave him a full-watt smile and squeezed his hand tightly before she dashed up the stairs to grab the suitcase she'd prepared hours before. Maeve had known Severus would say yes to her staying with him before he'd even arrived at her house. Probably the most prevalent Snape-like quality about her was her uncanny ability to manipulate those around her. She'd manipulated her voice teacher to fall in love with her even though he knew he'd lose his job, she'd manipulated Severus into inviting her to stay and she was going to manipulate her mother into letting her have more voice lessons even though her previous stray into the musical world had ended with calamity and familial scandal.

Severus shook his head and thought back on his life. He was old, that was for damn sure. Fifty wasn't so very old in wizarding terms, but the war had taken away more than its fair share of years from Severus' life. Ten years, he thought. It's been ten bloody years since that bastard died and I'm still feeling the repercussions.

Severus unconsciously touched the leg that had been permanently injured during the Final Battle by that bloody snake of Voldemort's. The poison hadn't spread very far before the Granger girl shoved a bezoar down his throat, but the physical damage to his leg had festered too long and been to grievous to be fixed by even magical means.

Severus shook his head of his thoughts and looked up to see Maeve hauling a suitcase nearly as big as she was down the enormously large staircase.

"Oh, now this is just ridiculous," said Severus. "You'll be staying at my flat for a week, not preparing for the bloody apocalypse!"

"Oh, stuff it, Sev, and help me with the damn bag. I am a pampered and spoiled young lady and I intend to remain that way no matter where I am."

Severus smirked, rolled his eyes and levitated both girl and bag out the front door. The girl was rather miffed at the loss of her dignity and told him so with rather colorful language.