The Wedding

A/N: My first METMA challenge fic! Yay... Whatever... :) Very weird. And I mean that.


"Awww! Dear, you look so pretty in your Wedding Dress!" said Molly Weasley,
admiring Hermione.

"Yeah, well... I don't know about my hat though... Are you sure Ron will
like it?" she asked hopefully. Ginny nodded not looking at her trying to
hold in her giggles. "Yeah, Hermione! It's beautiful!"

"If you say so--" she said. She took it off her head and looked at the
white vale topped with a farmer's cap and a huge ostrich feather coming out.

***Meanwhile***
"Brrrr... it's cold in here isn't it? My ears are freezing!" said Arthur
Weasley, trying to start a conversation.

"So this is it then? Ron asked, ignoring the small talk and looking at his
father. Arthur nodded. "Yup. Your big day..."

Ron looked nervous. "You look great son, don't worry!" he added,
reassuringly.

"With a maroon tuxedo? I HATE maroon! How come I always get stuck with
maroon?" Arthur's ears turned pink. "Well, you know we couldn't afford the
black ones...."

Ron scowled. "But maroon? What kind of a color is maroon? couldn't you have
gotten dark green like what's-his-name?" Arthur looked at him curiously.
"What's-his-name?"

Ron nodded. "You know, what's-his-name? The kid that always follows me and
Hermione around... He has green eyes and glasses..." Arthur smiled. "Oh! You
mean what's-his-face!"

"Yeah, him." Ron said glumly. Arthur looked down and reached in his pocket
to try and find something to give to Ron. "Want some gum?"

******

"Okay, Hermione. We have to give you the traditional gifts." Ginny looked
confused. Molly looked annoyed, how could HER daughter not know about a
wedding? "You know... Something old, something new, something blue and
something borrowed.." Ginny mumbled under her breath, "we've got a lot of
the last thing then, huh?"

Molly ignored her. "So.. something old... Hermione, what's something you've
had since Hogwarts?" Hermione lit up and reached into her bag.

"Here! I've had the broken piece of Ronnekins's wand since our second
year... I'd say that's pretty old." It sparked a little, but Hermione stuck
the broken piece of wand behind her ear.

"Hmmm... I remember those old Hogwarts days. Me and Ron were always
together with that kid always following us... What's his name again?" Molly
looked at her strangely.

"What's his name?" She thought for a moment then nodded. " Ohh! What's his
name! You mean the little skinny boy with the black hair and glasses..."

"Yeah." said Hermione. She looked at her watch. "Well, we better hurry up."

"Something new? Hmmmmm..." Molly said, trying to think.

"I've got it. It's my blue earring! So that covers new things and blue
things.. And this dress is borrowed from my mother.." Mrs. Weasley smiled.
"All right then, let's go."

*****

"DUN DUN DUN DUN! Dun Dun dun dun! Da dun da dun da dun dun dun dun dun!"
The organ played the wedding music and Ron and Hermione marched down the
aisle.

Ron was extremely nervous. Chomp Chomp March! Chomp Chomp March! He was
opening and closing his mouth and chewing the gum very loudly. It was very
irritating.

"Ahem!" the guy that weds people said. Hermione shifted uncomfortably. "Do
you like my hat?" she whispered to the guy. He looked at her in disgust. "Lo,
ani lo ohevet ha covah sheloh!"

Tears welled in her eyes and she started to cry. "Don't worry, Hermione...
I... I love your hat!" Ron looked at the wedding guy. "Was that Hebrew you
just spoke?" He nodded. "I'm a Jewish Rabbi ready to wed these two people."
Everyone was shocked. "But dude, no religion is supposed to be in fanfics,
otherwise the author will get flamed very badly and people will get very
riled up. So, I'm sorry, but you've got to go."

The wedding guy (no one seemed to know his name) walked away mumbling and
complaining.

"So now who's going to do the ceremony?" everyone started asking.

A kid with a lightning bolt scar rose from the audience. "I'll do it!"

Everyone pushed him up to the stand. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here
today--" Everyone screamed very obnoxiously.

"AHHAHAHAHAHA!" yelled an evil voice.

"It's you-know-who! You-Know-Who's come to kill what's-his-name! Everyone
run!"
"Hold on a second... Who's what's his name?" asked a confused person in the crowd.

"What's-his-name... You know, the crazy kid with the hair.... he's the boy who lived...'

"Ohh! You mean what's-his-face!" a bunch of people said together.

"Can we get back the screaming and being scared now?" asked Voldie, a little impatiently.

"Oh. Sure." It was pandemonium, people were running around with their toupee's on backwards, screaming at the top of their lungs when a priest called out for everyone to "HALT!"

"Look, I will not have massacre in the house of God!" Voldemort mumbled, and
took what's-his-face outside. "FINE THEN!" he cried back.

"Ok then." said the priest. "I will wed these two young people." Ron and
Hermione shook their heads. "But sir, you are of a religious group, so you
must leave.. " The priest mumbled and complained and left.

So the question arose again, who was going to wed these two people? That's
when a tabby cat arose from the stands. "I will wed these two people." It
leaped over and read from the official "Wedding Ceremonies for Dummies"
book. Soon, they were done.

"You may kiss the bride.." Just as Ron was kissing Hermione, Fred and
George muttered a little spell..

"Gross!" yelled Ron. "I'm in a dress... A maroon dress!"

"And I'm in a tuxedo... AHHH! A MAROON TUXEDO!!" Hermione screamed. They
ran out together and kept running for miles and miles into the sunset.

THE END!