Manifestations

Sometimes, it came in the form of nightmares. Sometimes, it's manifested in the crappy movies he'd watch with his younger brothers. While it was a very traumatizing event for the Matsuno family, Osomatsu was dragged along with Tougou and was almost forced to commit crimes. Osomatsu was the first one he threatened and held him at knife point.

When Chibita wanted Tougou to visit him, it took all his willpower not tell him the truth. He used to wonder why Tougou targeted his family; why was he the one find out the truth about the kind stranger? Why was he the one who had to be alone in this?

These thoughts would often cloud his thoughts and take him back to that dark, traumatizing place he was when he was a child. It's pathetic, really, letting such a ridiculous situation affect him to this day. However, it would manifest itself even worse when he was alone. When his brothers go out and have their own lives, Osomatsu understands this, as a man and as a person. As a brother, though, he has to protect them – no matter what. His quiet depression manifested itself in other ways.

He almost failed to protect not just his brothers, but his mother and father. A secret depression that Osomatsu carries on his shoulder but carries on day to day that he can't really share with anyone. He takes his depression to the races and to the pachinko parlors. He'd steal the wallets of his precious little brothers – because it was a forced habit made by Tougou. He may have made his brothers just as addicted to pachinko as he did, which made him feel more guilty, but he wasn't going to say anything if they weren't. Was this how he'd manifested Tougou's habits?

And yet, he couldn't leave his brothers alone. When he realized Todomatsu hadn't been telling him, or the other brothers, anything about his life.

"Maybe it's his rebellious phase," he'd tell himself. "He'll be loveable Totty again soon!" he silently hope.

He never liked being alone, even as an adult. His younger brothers are is his everything and the only people he has left once his mother and father are gone. Even though money is a nice thing to have, what's the use of money if he didn't have his precious little brothers to share it with? And once again, he feels guilty of the past. He didn't mean to catch Tougou that night. He tried so very hard to tell his family about him but Tougou always found a way. He always manifested through Osomatsu, somehow.

Because of that awful man, Osomatsu hates being alone and being without his brothers. He couldn't stand being without them. He knew Tougou manifested this way again – when he'd try to warn them about the truth of his nature. He'd try to tell his father, his mother, even Chibita, about Tougou and yet he'd somehow appear.

Osomatsu carried these silent manifestations in his heart and through his horrible habits and kept them deep within his heart. Sometimes, he'd have nightmares of that incident and he'd stay awake at night to wait for these horrible thoughts to fly by. If there's any hope for Osomatsu, if there's anything that helps him sleep and keeps his spirit up, it's the fact that he alone carried the pain and the manifestations – and that his family are safe.