Freddy or Not
-A Five Nights at Freddy's fan fiction.

I have had a tough life. Tougher than most people. To me, it always felt like the gravity of the world was just a bit too heavy, a minute askew in the equilibrium of the very force that holds us to Earth, perhaps not immediately noticeable, but certainly palpable to my keen eyes. Could it be that the catalyst to the ever so slight but ever so dire unhinging of my mental condition should be attributed to my girlfriend breaking up with me? Or perhaps it was my pet lizard Smickles passing away? Regardless, the morose droplets of past pains still leave streaks of sorrow across the perimeter of my soul.

SO ONE DAY. I was hungry and sad because my mom never understands me so I went to Freddy the Bears Pizza Palooza to let off some steam (that's a idiom(different than a idiot)). The last paragraph was to set up my character because I am basically better and had a harder life than everyone. (Seriously wtf guys you haven't even written a story before so how can you be a tortured genius like me?)?
When i got there I immediately regretted my mistake because everyone laughed at me. The manager laughed at me he said I was too old to be playing with toys. So I ran outside and blazed some dank Kiesh.
I was feeling better but then a police saw me vapping and said "If you keep smoking that then you will have to go to Mexico, Kappa."
"What a racist pig," I thought to myself because just because I was smoking weed he thought I was a filthy Mexican.

I ran inside and I cried but then the manager saw me again. I'm not a religious person (Because science says God's not real because if he was then why would are there still monkeys?) but in my desperation I prayed to Freddy.
"Freddy, deliver me from evil and temp me not with the longings of this world. Set my eyes on the pizza beyond time so that I may have eternal cheesiness." After I prayed I began to smell it. It smelt like Pepperonichan.
Freddy burst through the ceiling and threw a pepperoni at the manager and it cut him in half (like that hat guy from mortal Kombat.) Freddy walked over to the corps and stuffed children into it to make it into a stuffed toy like himself.

The police heard the commotion so the brought a hole team of swat but they were no match for Freddy the Bear. Freddy used the tactic of the Trojan condemn and pretended to be the cops friends and gave them pizza. But when they ate the pizza it was actually pizza with really hot cheese and it gave them pizza burn on the roof of their mouth for a week before they all killed themselves.

My horrific day was over... Right?

Freddy turned to me and grinned. I knew what I had to do. I had to bear it for Freddy.
He bent me over and shoved his cheesy bread (penis) into my ranch dipping. It hurt so bad but I did it for him. After he was done doing that he put his ranch covered penis into my butt and that wasn't so bad.
"FREDDY OR NOT HERE IT COMES" screamed the bearish bear.

I waited in anticipation for the climax, like when your blue-ray goes on standby and you keep staring at the blue-ray logo until it bounces into the corner. And after waiting for 'it' for twenty minutes (Freddy has e rex tile dysfunction) it happened. Freddy shot five pizzas into my butt. I could practically taste them they went so far in.
I sighed a sigh of relief. It was finished. As Freddy walked off he took one last look at me and said "Be. Good" and then he left back for his home planet.

Freddy is a bear
Freddy is Gabe Newell Half-life 3 confirmed.