Familial

"Loki-sama!"

He reached out towards the tall figure facing away from him. There was a sense of absolute wrongness, something was terribly horribly wrong and he didn't even spare a thought for his surroundings, all that mattered was getting to his father, touching him, making sure that no matter how much other things changed, here was a constant-

He fell to the ground and let out a hiss of shock. He tried to reach out again- only to find he didn't have any limbs with which to do so. The confusion whirled around in his head, an ugly dye stirred into the batter until the whole thing was stained.

Loki looked at him over one shoulder, and he felt something scream and die inside of him, shrinking away from that cold and amused glance.

"F-father?" he questioned meekly. He reared up, but he only came up to Loki's waist... the confusion turned darker, what happened?, and Loki's grim smile grew wider, bared a long row of teeth.

"You are no son of mine," came the response. The lower half of his body curled, coiled, in reaction to the sharp stab of psychic pain.

"W-what? But... I am..."

"No," Loki sneered, amused but disgusted. One flick of the tongue could smell that well enough. "My children are much more handsome. Who wants a useless overgrown snake? You're useless, and ugly. I have no need for you."

The world shattered.


Yamino sat up in bed, covered in a cold sweat and shivering. He gasped and panted shortly, shooting nervous glances around this room until he slowly relaxed and came to his senses.

'A dream,' he thought with shaky relief. 'A dream. A nightmare.' Already, the details were fading from his mind, sinking below the surface. He shivered again, swallowing thickly. The sweat was chilling in the night air, and he disliked it. He rolled his shoulders once, feeling the skin stretch and reminding himself once again that this was his human body, and slid carefully out of the warm cocoon of his bed sheets, which were now slightly damp with his human body's sweat.

He sighed and looked at the clock, shivering quieting though he was still uncomfortably cool. It was obscenely late... or early, depending on who you asked. No one in their right mind would even think about doing chores at this hour, and he certainly wasn't going to risk waking his father with noise made while cleaning or cooking or any number of domestic tasks that Yamino enjoyed.

He rubbed the back of his neck briefly, considering what to do. He couldn't go back to sleep. And he was cold. He sighed, frustrated with himself, and directed himself out of his room and down the hall into the bathroom.

A hot shower sounded nice.


He almost wanted to stay in the steam-filled room and sleep there. Maybe curled up in some towels, listening to the drip of water... he had gotten very used to water, but this was better. All the humidity he needed (though, he reminded himself, he didn't really need to shed anymore, did he?) and the luxurious warmth he craved.

He shook his head with a slight smile, chastising himself. His human body wouldn't take kindly to sleeping on nothing but towels in a damp bathroom. He remembered to dry himself off with one of the fluffy towels, dressed in his pajamas again, and opened the door to make the trek back to his bedroom.

He yelped in surprise when on the other side of the door he encountered a miniature trickster god staring solemnly up at him.

"L-loki-sama!" he exclaimed nervously. Loki didn't blink.

"What are you doing up this late Yamino?" he asked quietly. Yamino fidgeted.

"Nothing... I was just taking a shower... what are you doing up Loki-sama?" His skills at changing the subject sucked. But he tried. "Did I wake you up? I'm sorry! I'll be quieter. You should get to bed though Loki-sama, it's very late."

His babbling didn't faze Loki, who tilted his head slightly and looked at Yamino as though he were staring straight into him. Yamino shivered.

"Are you cold?" Loki finally asked. Yamino blinked, thrown off slightly.

"Ah... a little..." he answered. "But it's nothing. I'll just go back to sleep and-"

"Go to sleep with wet hair?" Loki asked, raising an eyebrow and smiling a little. "You'll get sick, Yamino."

Yamino blinked in confusion. Hair needed to be dried too?

"But... Loki-sama... I always leave it like this. Is it not supposed to be wet? It dries by itself in a few hours..."

Loki laughed quietly, and Yamino felt his heart jump. Loki brushed past him into the rapidly cooling bathroom and picked up a towel. He motioned Yamino forward and Yamino obeyed, following hand gestures to kneel down on the tile floor.

He wasn't expecting the towel to be thrown over his head, and he yelped a little in surprise but didn't move. He heard Loki chuckle, and felt two small hands on his head through the towel as they started rubbing it across his scalp.

At first it was disconcerting, and he was half afraid that his father might accidentally pull on his hair, but Loki was gentle, and the motion was sending little ripples of a peaceful feeling through him. Was this feeling safe? Was that what it was? All too soon, it stopped.

Yamino peeked out of the towel to see Loki smiling vaguely at him.

"All done," Loki announced quietly. Yamino didn't speak, just blinked and reached up to take the wet towel off of his head. He stood carefully, still rather unused to the whole balance and legs thing, and gathered up the used towels. He stood there awkwardly for a moment, unsure. Loki exited, apparently going back to his own room. Yamino followed him out of the room automatically, dumping the towels in a basket just by the door and padding over to his own bedroom door.

He reached out to grab the handle, but something made him look over at Loki, who was in the process of opening his own door. Yamino was seized with a slight panic, a kind of irrational fear that wrapped around his heart. He couldn't identify why, but... he didn't want to go back to his room just yet. He backed away from the door and went to pick up the basket of laundry. Loki caught the movement just as he was about to close the door, and paused.

"Yamino?" he questioned. Yamino froze, but quickly plastered an apologetic smile on his face.

"I just thought I'd do some laundry, Loki-sama," he answered quickly. "I don't think I can sleep tonight."

Tricking a trickster god took a considerable amount of skill. Skill which Yamino did not possess, which was a bit ironic, being a snake and all. It didn't help that said trickster god was also his father.

"Nightmare?" Loki said bluntly. Yamino flinched and didn't say anything. A stretch of silence descended between them, and lasted for what seemed like hours. Loki finally sighed and stepped out of his room, continued stepping, and Yamino could feel the footfalls as they drew closer but he wouldn't look. He hadn't lived with Loki for very long. Truthfully, he knew very little about his own father. He didn't know what would disappoint him, what would make him proud, he barely knew what his favorite kind of tea was. And being afraid to go to bed because of nightmares sounded childish and stupid, even to Yamino.

He startled slightly when Loki's hand grabbed his. He looked down, eyes wide with confusion, and Loki stared up at him, still as solemn as ever, but with a flicker of something Yamino couldn't identify flashing across his eyes.

"Are you alright?" Loki asked simply. Yamino swallowed and nodded. Loki stared at him for a moment more before nodding in turn, releasing his hand, and walking back to his room.

"Goodnight, Yamino," he said as he pushed open the door again.

"Goodnight, Loki-sama," he replied quietly. He watched as the door started to close, and the fear stabbed at him suddenly again and tightened painfully.

"Wait!" he heard. What? Who had... had that been his voice? Loki's head peeking out of the room and looking at him patiently but questioningly answered that. It had been. He wanted to curse himself, but the trembling fear of being alone seemed to have set in his bones and he couldn't stop shaking. He didn't want to be alone.

"Loki-sama... can I... I mean, would I... I don't want to be bothering you, but I..."

Loki waited, face unreadable as Yamino tripped over words and tried to work it out.

"That is... could I... maybe stay with you for tonight?" He ended it in a whisper, and glanced away from Loki before glancing back, then repeating the process, growing more and more afraid every time. His legs nearly gave out when Loki smiled at him again. Who needed legs anyway? He worked perfectly well without them before anyway. But when Loki beckoned him, he remembered he needed them to move right now, and he tried to do so, nearly falling at first but making it to the end of the hallway without incident.

Loki took his hand and pulled him over to the large bed with a short instruction, "lay down", and Yamino obeyed hesitantly, squirming his way underneath the rumpled covers while Loki dug through a set of drawers until he found what he was looking for, and then climbed up onto the other side of the bed with it and crawled under the covers as well. Yamino wanted to ask what it was, but felt as if he was already pushing it. No need to sound more like a child than he already felt. Loki glanced at him.

"I like reading out loud," the green eyed god said. "Will it bother you? It's Arabian Nights."

Yamino shook his head quickly.

"No, Loki-sama. I don't mind."

Loki opened the book and stared at the page for a moment.

"Yamino..." he started. Yamino looked at him cautiously. Loki took a moment to phrase what he wanted to say. "When... we are alone, you do not have to address me as Loki-sama."

Yamino felt something thrill in his heart, and he smiled uncertainly. He took his moment to think of words.

"Okay father." He paused, and looked at the book from his position laying on a pillow. "I've never heard of that story before," he admitted. Loki smiled (was it Yamino's imagination, or was the smile slightly wider than normal?) and flipped to an appropriate page.

"Really?" the god said. "I'll start it from the beginning then."


Hours later, Loki blinked open his eyes sleepily. He tried to grab the sheets to pull them over his head, but his hands met with something else instead and he looked down to see a book resting, open, across his stomach. He groggily closed it and shoved it to the edge of the mattress, letting it fall off with a satisfying thump, and sighed in contentment. A warm body shifted next to him and for a moment he thought "who did I seduce last night?" before he remembered he was in a child's body, and that it was his son who was curled up and breathing deeply in his bed.

He looked at Yamino and watched him. His son was currently curled up in something resembling a fetal position, while also half nestled against his father's side. For the warmth or comfort or both, Loki didn't know. Apparently Loki had fallen asleep shortly after Yamino had, and sometime during the night Yamino sensed the warmth of another body nearby and clung to it. Because he was doing a pretty good job clinging. Loki considered himself lucky he wasn't smothered instead.

Yamino sighed in his sleep, and it brought Loki's attention back to the present. He smiled a little and carefully reached out with one hand and ran a hand through his son's hair. He hadn't taken much interest in his children before they were sentenced to their various prisons, and it was something he regretted now, but he admitted his faults. He honestly hadn't imagined a life with any of his progeny, perhaps besides the occasional interaction with his two legitimate children, but he hadn't seen them in such a long time either... he wasn't winning any father of the year awards.

He continued to watch Yamino breathe, and continued to stroke his hair. Why hadn't he thought of doing this before? It was nice.

He found himself wondering how his other children were, what they looked like now, and what they would look like sleeping as peacefully as their serpent brother was now. He frowned a little. They probably hated him. Sleipnir, at the very least, would likely hate him. Odin probably made sure of that. He wished now that he had kept him, but at the time... Loki shook his head silently. There was no use dwelling on the past and what couldn't be fixed at the moment. He looked at Yamino again, contemplating.

"I won't mess it up this time," he whispered, and shifted carefully to kiss his forehead before leaning back again. "I promise. I'll do better."

With that, he allowed himself to snuggle against his son and fall back into another nap.


AN:

My first Matantei Loki Ragnarok fic! Maybe my only. I don't know. I don't make plans. I wanted to write a sappy fluffy father/son type of thing, since that was one of the things I loved so much watching the anime. This takes place pre-series, so I think Yamino would have a pretty unstable connection to his father, and be unsure about the whole thing. Loki's kind of new to the whole "parenting" thing, but he tries. And he's pretty good at it.

Personally, I think one of Yamino's biggest fears is rejection. Being useless to his father, and being discarded. That's mostly what the nightmare is about. And Yamino is sensitive to cold because... well, he's a snake. Because this is set early on, he probably hasn't been in human form for a long time, so he still sometimes thinks of himself as a snake and has to catch himself. And in his unconscious, he's still a snake, hence the seeking out warmth and the sleeping curled up. As much as a human body can curl, anyway.

I mentioned Sleipnir because I love Sleipnir. I always picture him and Fenrir arguing over whether to call Loki daddy or mommy. But thinking about it, if Sleipnir was in the series, he'd have been in Odin's possession for a long time. And being a horse, I'm not sure how smart he'd be to begin with. But who knows.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this! Please leave me a review (and I might write more). Thanks!