"My toe!," Donatello exclaimed as he slipped on a greasy pizza box, ramming into the sharp leg of the table, "This sewer life is sure getting old." After 42 years of living in this dank hole, his eyes were starting to deteriorate. He was tired of the daily grind, battling sassy rhinoceroses and taking directions from a giant rat. Besides, living with three brothers could really be a pain in the ass. The other day, Leonardo had borrowed his Bo-Staff without asking and accidentally destroyed his favorite blanket. He couldn't remember the last time he felt alive, let alone inspired. "There must be more than this provincial life," he sighed, crawling back into his bed.
"Wassup my bros?!," shouted the fun-loving Michelangelo as he bounded into the room. "Check out this flyer I found!". Donnie grabbed it, his eyes filled with resignation. He was so sick of Mikey's shit. "Basketball Tournament?" he asked, rolling his eyes, "you have to be kidding me." "Nah, bro. I think we'd kill it on the court! Besides, you're always talking about how you are bored and want to try something else." He did have a point, Donnie thought. Life just hadn't been the same since April left them for a real man. And try as he might, he never got her to see him for the sweet, sensitive amniote he truly was. Maybe he could invite her to show her that he was beyond these juvenile games and that things were looking up. "Cowabunga," he replied affirmatively, his dead eyes emitting the smallest spark.
FAST FORWARD TO THE TOURNAMENT
As the four brothers pulled up to the basketball stadium, they were blinded by the shining goal posts. They had all carb loaded on pizza the night before in preparation for the arduous competition. "Raphael, can you hand me my knee pads?" asked Leonardo. As the oldest brother, people often referred to him as the most mature, but when push came to shove, he could be downright competitive. Michelangelo skateboarded into rink, slamming into Donnie's back. "Mikey, what the hell?", he exclaimed, "You can't bring a skateboard into a basketball rink". "My bad," he smiled, "my bad". Donatello scanned the crowd of people nestled in the stadium. He spotted a yellow coat. "April," he gasped quietly, "and her boyfriend, Stewart".
*Cue song "Let's Get Ready to Rumble"*
Just then, the dugout doors opened and the rival team emerged, suited up in athletic leisure wear. Donatello's jaw nearly dropped to the floor as he eyed the seven golden retrievers trotting toward them. "What?!," he shouted to their Coach Splinter, "you want me to play against a bunch of little... bitches?", he spat. "Chill out, Donnie, we've got this," Raphael reassured him, holding his brother's head between his green hand claws, reminding him to take deep breaths.
With a whistle, the ball shot up in the air, bounced on the ground repeatedly and was then exchanged between players. Mikey grabbed the basketball with his hand claws and just as he was about to throw it to Raph, Buddy the team captain stole it away from him with his snout. Budderball, Mudbud, and B-dawg weren't far behind. They supported Buddy's steal like the stellar puppies they were bred to be, blocking the turtles from interception. Buddy ran quickly toward the basket. He spiked the ball with his nose and into the net it went. Josh was elated. "Who's a good boy?", he asked patting Buddy on the head. Just then, Donatello grabbed the ball and swished it into the net, doing a slam dunk with the ferocity of a cheetah on steroids. He glanced at April, checking to see her reaction. She blushed and quickly looked away with a coy smile.
Four hours later….
The score was 74 to 72. The Buddies were in the lead. Rosebud skidded into Leonardo who grabbed onto her collar and threw her down. "Foul ball!" the referee shouted, as Rosebud whimpered in the corner, "Y'all can't be doing that. Have a red card on me". Just then, the fire alarms sounded and the sprinklers put water on the basketball diamond and everyone had to leave. The turtles were glistening as they emerged from the sprinklers. "You won!", said the Buddies, in their dog language which was really just a head bow with their adorable brown eyes glancing upwards. They lined up and gave high fives to each other and the Turtles handed out treats and said "Good shake", as the Buddies' paws reached toward them.
"Booyakasha!", the turtles cried out as they chest bumped each other in victory. Donatello's celebration halted as he saw April and Stewart fiercely arguing out of the corner of his eye. Stewart stormed off in a fit of rage, his hands gesticulating wildly. April's head hung low. Donatello couldn't believe what he was seeing. He wasn't going to blow it this time. "Hey," he said as his hand claw gently touched her shoulder, "you deserve so much better". He scanned her face in desperation for a sign of affection. "It's always been you, Donnie", she whispered, looking into his weird eyes.
