Petunia Evans and Her Greatest Lie
By "Viral Impact"
Chapter One: Likely and Unlikely Friendships
Ripping off the sorting hat and adjusting her hair, Petunia watched as her house burst into applause and she felt like bursting into tears. She had been sorted into Hufflepuff. As Petunia scrambled to the table, she passed Lily, who glanced up only to look away and chat with her friends. She noticed Remus Lupin who was busily licking his lips hungrily. She sat near him and breathed a sigh of relief as Lupin whispered, "Petunia Evans? Lily's sister?"
"Yes," she replied with a small smile.
"Well, welcome to Hogwarts."
"Thanks."
As the students flooded out of the Great Hall, Petunia felt Lily embrace her gently. "Congratulations."
The two, occasionally brushing elbows with strangers in the crowd, walked together. Petunia frowned, "I wanted to be in Gryffindor with you." She looked up at Lily and noticed her eyes were scanning the crowd. She wasn't listening and soon Lily strode away to meet up with another boy. Petunia wrinkled her nose in disgust as she saw the boy, his long black hair was greasy to the ends and his bony nose reminded her of a beak.
Petunia awoke with a shudder. She wet her lips and she felt Vernon shift uncomfortably beside her. She crawled out of the bed and muttered, "Too hot." She slinked out of the bedroom and noticed the light emitting from beneath Harry's bedroom door. She brushed past it and walked down the stairs to drink some milk and calm her nerves.
As the light flicked on in the kitchen, the bouquet of sunflowers greeted her. Their bright petals were beginning to wilt and their faces looked sad and thirsty. She poured water into a pitcher and watered the flowers with much care. She opened the fridge, took out the carton of milk and sat at the table. She drank hungrily and as she set the milk carton down, her hands still shook.
"I absolutely hate McGonagall. She's always persistent on making me feel like an idiot." Petunia spat out bitterly. "It's always my fault that something's not working. Maybe she needs to do a little revamping on her teaching technique."
The girl beside her bounced happily as she flicked her wrist in perfect motion, "It's in the wrist. It's not that difficult and you are in Ravenclaw for Heaven's sake!"
Petunia stopped in the hallway and glared at her friend, "Blaise! I'm trying my hardest."
"It's your second year and you should be able to master such a simple spell. And especially in Transfiguration, since you did say a week ago, I quote, 'It's the easiest class I've ever taken.' I'm ashamed to say—"
Violet Waffling interrupted by elbowing Blaise in the side, "Blaise, honestly, can't you try to be more sympathetic. Petunia's our friend and I'm sure a better way to make her feel better, is to help her refine her abilities?"
"You mean teach her." Blaise sourly spat as she held her side, "Refining is too much of a delicate word for Petunia's case."
Petunia stepped forward and knocked Blaise onto the ground when two third year boys strutted in between their group. All of the girls' eyes followed the two and Blaise, from the ground, announced, "That's James Potter. Isn't he the one that's always bothering your sister…?"
Petunia helped her up when she saw her sister and the greasy haired boy together, again.
Lily shrilled, "Leave Severus alone. He didn't do anything."
"Sirius, what do you think?" She saw the boy with messy hair speak and Lily quickly stand between him and the greasy haired one. "Did Mr. Snivellus Snape do something? "
"You mean other than stink up the halls?" The other boy piped up and the whole hall seemed to snicker. "Yeah, he only had to tell Filch about who left the dung bombs in Charms today."
Petunia was about to step forward when a heavy hand landed on her shoulder. She turned around and a tall and goofy looking boy grinned down at her. "Hi. I'm Jakob Boots. I'm in Ravenclaw too, you know. I…uh…uh…forgot…the password. Maybe we could eat lunch together and…you can walk up with me and help me with the password?"
"I don't have time right now." Petunia snapped and she turned around only to see Lily, James, Sirius, and Severus had disappeared into the crowd.
Violet jumped in front of Petunia and hissed, "You were absolutely disgraceful to Jake! What's wrong with you?"
Blaise shoved Violet out of the way and grabbed Petunia's wrist. She tried her best to comfort her, "Don't worry about Jake. Talk about disgraceful, just look at him. So tall and awkward and I swear his robes are about an inch too long and his pants are always an inch too high." Blaise shrieked with laughter and Violet shook her finger at Blaise while Petunia followed them to lunch.
As they passed by the Gryffindor table, Petunia noticed a group of girls chatting. The first girl who spoke had long brown hair and a face full of light freckles, "Lily is so nice to Severus. Did you see her show up James again?"
The other two girls were twins, both with black hair but one had green eyes and the other had brown eyes. The green-eyed girl replied, "I know. But you know, her sister, she's so awkward and I heard Professor Flitwick and Professor McGonagall talking about her in the halls. They said they've never seen such a dull girl!"
The brown-eyed twin agreed, "I know! McGonagall mentioned how she was surprised at the lack of performance. She said she was almost like a squib! And did you see in Herbology? Fumbling about with the soil and screeching, 'Oh! Oh!' like some fool."
"Or a chicken with its head cut off."
"A chicken with an absurdly long neck."
"A chicken-giraffe!" The girl with freckles howled at her joke and the other two followed in suit.
Petunia sat down and she noticed Jake Boots at the end of the table. He was shaky and some of his friends were patting him on the back and offering him another glass of milk to calm him down. Violet and Blaise's argument had shifted from Jake to unicorns, to potions, to the final subject of wands. They turned to Petunia and said in unison, "What's yours?"
"Huh?"
Blaise rolled her eyes and commented, "Don't you ever listen to our discussions? What's your wand?"
"Oh." Petunia pulled her wands from her robes and several people flinched; some even ducked under the table.
Sam Madley ducked under the table and howled, "Petunia, just don't enlarge me nose again! Or make bugs come outta me ears!"
Others shrieked: "Petunia, don't point that at us!" "Don't embarrass us in front of the other houses!" "Watch it, she's got her wand!" "Put the wand away!" "Professor! Evans has her wand out!"
Petunia's face was bright red and as she glanced around, she noticed some of the students in Hufflepuff duck down under their table. One girl from Hufflepuff sputtered, "If she's that bad at potions, we can only wonder what a mess her wand-work is!"
The whole hall turned around to gaze at the mess and Petunia saw Lily's face. She wondered if it was brighter than hers. Petunia put the wand away and the whole hall seemed to sigh in relief. Students slowly turned back to eat and Petunia muttered, "Fourteen inches, walnut, a bit stiff."
"What's its core?" Violet asked anxiously.
"Griffin heartstring?" Blaise leaned forward and when Petunia nodded, Violet looked down at her plate. Blaise boasted, "Who's the better friend now? Of course, I am."
Petunia sleepily wandered into the Great Hall for dinner and as she entered, some of the students jokingly cowered and commented, "Watch out for Evans! She might pull her wand out again!"
Petunia sat down and as she looked up and down the table, she couldn't see any sign of Violet or Blaise, her only friends. As the food mounted high on the tables, she glanced at her side to see Jake Boots sit down. They exchanged nervous smiles and she heard a clatter as Sam Madley sat in front of her. His nose was patched up but not quite as straight as it used to be. Beside Sam, Harvey Gills sat down with his plate covered with food. He was a portly boy with thick glasses and his head was completely bald. Petunia watched as Jake drank from the largest glass of milk she had seen a boy drink from. It was large enough to hold at least a gallon of milk. Petunia shook her head in amazement and deciding not to start conversation with the boys, she opened a book.
Jake nervously reached over to grab something off of Harvey's plate and his voice squeaked, "Thanks Harvey." As his hand withdrew with a clump of grapes, he knocked over his obscenely large glass and it spilled down the table, between him and Petunia. She sat up as milk spilled over the book in her lap and Jake gasped.
"Aw! Petunia! I'm sorry!" He quickly began to wipe up the mess and Petunia held her book up in the air. Milk dripped from the pages and Jake frowned. "Can I help?"
Petunia angrily gathered her belongings and shut her book with such force, milk sprayed from the pages. "No. No. It's fine. Please just stop trying to help…" She gently pushed Jake's hands away from her backpack and hissed, "Goodbye."
Petunia rushed through the Great Hall and as she passed the same girls at Gryffindor, she heard them talking once again. "I heard milk does a body good, except aren't you supposed to drink it, not bathe in it?"
Petunia glared down at the girls and growled through gritted teeth, "I'd rather be a chicken-giraffe who bathes in milk than a girl with freckles that look like zits!"
With that said, Petunia strode out of the Great Hall, her bag slung over her shoulder and her teeth were gritted so hard that her jaw flexed spastically. As she stormed into the common room, she noticed someone had followed her. She turned around and saw Jake Boots, his shirt dripping with milk, and his face creased with worry. "Petunia?"
"What?" Petunia snapped.
"I wanted to apologize." He wrung his hands nervously and Petunia felt her face break into a smile. She suddenly giggled at the foolish looking boy. "I heard what the girls said and I don't think you're a chicken…what ever you called it."
Jake looked around confused and his face contorted with shock as Petunia threw her arms around Jake's waist the best she could and sobbed. Jake awkwardly patted her head and said, "No need to cry over spilled milk."
"Thanks Jake." Petunia pulled away and smiled. "It's not that. It's just…you're so kind and even to people who make fun of you. You're even kind to people who were mean to you. And I've never heard you say one single thing about magic and me. You didn't even flinch when I pulled out my wand today."
Jake shrugged, "Have you seen me fly a broom yet?"
Petunia's smile widened and she said, "We can be the unofficial squibs together then?"
Jake laughed, "Yeah. We're just delayed a little, right? Maybe we both have Belated Squib Syndrome."
"Like they say, they only have a little magic and then it just, poof, disappears like magic would." Petunia smirked and motioned towards the portrait, "Do you still need help with that password?"
Jake shrugged, "Nah. I just wanted an excuse to walk up here with you."
"Petunia!" Vernon roared into her ear and Petunia sat up from the table. Her hand knocked over the milk and it spilled to the floor. Dudley was at the table with his fork and knife. He pointed to his empty plate and Vernon pointed to his empty cup of coffee. Harry had already poured himself a bowl of cereal and when he finished his last bite, he busily rinsed it in the sink. Petunia rose from the table and Vernon barked, "Potter! Clean the mess and don't use any of that funny stuff."
"The neighbors didn't see me, did they?" Petunia questioned.
"Yes, the neighbors are quite nice." Vernon grumbled from behind his newspaper. He wasn't listening.
Petunia groaned as she sought out food in the cabinets. She poured Vernon his coffee and pulled a salad from the refrigerator. As Dudley loudly protested, she spoke softly, "Now Duddykins! The doctor said you need a strict diet!"
As Harry entered the kitchen with a mop and bucket, he raised an eyebrow as Petunia sat down to eat her salad. He thought silently, "Salad in the morning?" but questioned no further as Vernon glared at him over his paper.
Petunia sat down to her salad and as she sprinkled cheese over the greens, it reminded her of snow falling on Hogwarts' grounds.
"Petunia, you can't be serious!" Lily shook her head in disappointment.
"I want to stay for Violet. How many times do I need to inform you that her parents are busy working on holidays?"
"Last year they weren't." Lily smiled but frowned as Petunia rolled her eyes.
"Because they are finally professional skiers. I wish you listened to me more often." Petunia crossed her arms and watched as Lily shoved her hands into her mittens. "I wish I could go to Hogsmeade."
"Next year you can and in the meantime you can live without it."
"How so?" Petunia snapped. "You don't know how much I want to go."
"Because I'll bring you back some sweets." Lily wrapped a scarf around her neck and as the two walked down the nearly empty halls, Lily lowered her voice. "Petunia, Professor Flitwick told me about your difficulties with Charms…"
"Among other classes I'm sure too," Petunia said smugly.
"Do you think it is the dreaded B.S.S.?"
"No!" Petunia gasped. "Mother said there have only been three cases. I'm showing signs of magic."
"Just little signs and maybe there just isn't enough in you—"
"Lily, just shut up."
Scowling at Petunia, Lily huffed and crossed her arms, "Well, I could help you with Charms then. I am top of my class…"
"I know Lily." Petunia sulked.
Petunia saw James, Lupin, Sirius and another boy crowded down at the end of the hall. All of them were dressed to battle the cold and Petunia carefully studied the smaller boy; he never looked either of the boys in the eye when they talked to him. He watched James in amazement as he chuckled, "About time you made it down here Peter."
The boy shrugged and commented, "I couldn't be as swift as you, James."
Lupin and Sirius glanced at each other and smirked. As Lupin looked up, he noticed Lily and waved. Lily waved back and walked ahead of Petunia. Petunia passed the group and noticed James' immediate gleefulness around Lily. As she turned the corner she bumped into Severus and, in shock, she backed away. As she murmured an excuse and passed by him, he grabbed her by the shoulder and huskily asked, "Is Lily coming?"
Petunia looked at him and nodded slowly, "Yes. She's with…with friends. Um," Petunia paused as Severus let go of her shoulder, "she's right around this corner."
Severus nodded and Petunia quickly raced off to the library. She glanced at her watch and realized she was thirty minutes late. As she skidded into the library, Violet and Blaise were arguing silently. Petunia sat down at the table and noticed a solitary jellybean on the table. It was a clear blue with flecks of white. Violet hissed, "It's going to be like icing or something! Oh, it's blueberry!"
Blaise pointed to the jellybean and gagged, "No, it's something gross. I swear it has to be something gross. It's going to be rotted blueberry!"
"How do you get that?" Violet cried as she slammed her hand on the desk. Many people held their fingers to their mouths and Violet sunk back into her chair.
Blaise took out her quill and with the sharp point, she pointed at the small flecks of white. "See…mold."
Blaise and Violet leaned forward to inspect the jellybean and Petunia reached out to grab the jellybean. She popped it into her mouth and chewed thoughtfully as Violet looked curious and Blaise appeared to be horrified. Petunia smiled as she swallowed, "Tastes like how the ocean smells."
Violet and Blaise sighed heavily and opened their books. Blaise kicked Violet from under the table, "I was right."
Violet kicked back and hissed, "No, you weren't. It wasn't rotted blueberry."
"I am too because it wasn't blueberry now, was it?" Blaise smirked and Violet scowled as she reached down to hold her shin. "And I hate the ocean." Blaise smiled as Violet proudly and then continued to write her essay on parchment.
"Petunia?" Jake called out her name softly and Petunia glanced over her shoulder. She smiled. "Hi." Jake walked forward and uttered the password to the portrait. As it swung forward, Petunia applauded.
"You remembered." She stepped inside and Blaise and Violet giggled as her and Jake walked together in front of them.
Jake uttered, "Wait right here. Don't move!" He rushed upstairs to the boys' dormitory and immediately Violet and Blaise surrounded Petunia.
Violet cheered, "Petunia's finally snagged one! I told you Jake wasn't that bad."
Blaise sourly scolded her, "Him? Petunia! Honestly!"
The girls jumped away from Petunia's side as Jake approached with a small kitten. Petunia shrilled in delight as she took the brown and orange cat into her arms. Its orange eyes gleamed up at her and its bushy tail swished.
Jake grinned, "Dad gave it to me. Rare, he told me. He said it was just only able to go away from its mother. My dad said that these cats live almost forever at least he said so. He also said that it would never forget its name. It always remembers and future owners will also name it the same…magical or something like that." Jake continued to ramble, "Yeah, but Mom said Dad's full of hot steam. The kitten is mean every now and then but…. Uh… I wanted to give this to you to give you some company during the holidays and such. I even got it a little collar." Jake held out a black collar with a bell. "So…uh…Happy Christmas."
Petunia stroked the kitten's head and Blaise walked behind Jake and whispered, "It's Merry Christmas."
Jake's face immediately flushed and he ran his fingers through his hair. Violet slapped Blaise's arm and Blaise stormed away while she muttered, "I can't help it if he's an idiot."
Petunia placed the collar on the kitten and hugged Jake, "Oh Jake! Thanks!" Her face lowered through in embarrassment, "I didn't get you anything though."
"You did already." Jake grinned as Petunia cocked her head in bewilderment. "Your friendship."
Violet clasped her hands over her heart and sniffed. Petunia awkwardly giggled and Jake's face continued to redden. "Well, I have to go." He quickly left the common room and Violet snagged the kitten from Petunia.
Violet squealed, "It's adorable! What are you going to name it?"
Petunia smiled as she slipped the collar around its neck, "Crookshanks."
It had been long since Vernon left for work and Dudley was still sitting at the table. He hadn't touched any of his salad. "Disgusting little green things!" Dudley shrieked loudly and Petunia felt herself losing her patience.
She turned around, "Duddy dear. You need your nourishment. Hush down too! The neighbors will hear!"
"I want eggs! And bacon!" Dudley shrieked and the fork went flying through the open window above the sink.
Petunia smiled nervously and pulled a pot from a cabinet. She turned on the stove and watched as the fire spread out. She set the pot over the fire and placed the pot over the fire. She pulled a can of soup from the pantry and pulled the top open. She poured the soup into the pot and heard Dudley whine, "Chocolate! Chocolate!"
"Sweets, I'm making you some soup."
"I hate soup."
Petunia stared into the bubbling soup and she could almost smell the scent of the old Potions classroom. She felt her stomach give a lurch as she thought of the day after the holiday vacation of her second year…
Petunia's heart was absolutely bursting. She sat in Double Potions with Violet helping her with the newest concoction. Even though holidays had come and gone, she was still dreamy. They had the class with Gryffindor and all of them glared at Petunia. She noticed that the girl with freckles had been missing since a week before vacation but thought nothing of it. The twins whispered to each other and some even ducked under their table when Petunia made sudden movements. Suddenly, Violet gasped and as Petunia snapped back into reality, she knocked over the cauldron.
The green liquid caused many of the students to stand on their stools even though the liquid began to burn through the stool legs. Not thinking, Petunia lunged for her wand and tried to perform a charm to clean up the mess and prevent it from sloshing any further. Instead of shouting the charm clearly, it came out as a gargle and suddenly the liquid caught on fire. Students screamed in horror and some even ran out of the class. The professor suddenly appeared from his office with a handful of ingredients. Shocked by the fire, he dropped the ingredients and he began to bark out orders.
As the liquid sloshed toward him, he jumped onto his desk and fumbled for his wand. Petunia suddenly shrieked in fright as she noticed her and Violet's robes on fire. Violet and Petunia lunged for each other when suddenly they heard Blaise shout the extinguishing spell. The world spun around Petunia, as she felt painful jolts of pain that originated at her feet and stopped near her waist.
She awoke in the hospital wing. Madame Poppy Pomfrey was hovering over her face. "Petunia Evans?" Petunia nodded wearily and Madame Pomfrey continued, "Your friend Violet is still asleep. She's on your right." She paused for a moment and mentioned before leaving, "And on your left is Nona Ollivander. I'll be back later."
Petunia rolled over to see Violet resting peacefully and soon Petunia fell asleep too. She didn't know when she woke up again but she realized the figure she was looking at wasn't Violet. Instead, it was the freckled face girl. However, her hair no longer swayed near her lower back. It was cut above her shoulders and she had bangs. Petunia noticed her face was no longer covered with freckles but blemishes. They were enormous in size and only half her face was not covered with blemishes but it was covered with small crevices where blemishes once existed.
Petunia held her breath as she noticed Nona was awake too. Petunia smiled weakly and whispered, "I'm sorry."
Nona huffed, "It wasn't your fault. Poppy says it's because of the potion I tried. It backfired. Instead of ridding of all my freckles and zits, it replaced my freckles with zits."
"I'm very sorry." Petunia whispered again. Her vision was blurred with newly forming tears. "If I hadn't said anything…"
Petunia blinked as she heard the jingling of a bell. The door to the room opened slightly and she heard a small meow. She felt Crookshanks leap onto her bed and cuddle beside her. Nona said as she rolled onto her back, "You've been here for two days. The twins came to tell me the whole school is making some joke out of it. They're calling you two the frightening flaming flowers. You know, because you're Petunia and her name is Violet…" Nona paused. "I think it's stupid."
"And I'd have to agree." A voice came from the door and Petunia tried to sit up but instead winced in pain.
Blaise appeared and pulled a chair to sit between them. "I think it isn't even funny. Frightening Flowers? Come on, they can think of something different like Petrifying Petunia or Violent Violet."
Violet sobbed, "Violent? I'm not violent!"
"You're awake!" Petunia tried to roll over but instead she lay on her back. Her legs were burned and her right hand was too.
Violet muttered, "Good thing you write with your left hand Petunia. I can't at all. My whole arms are burned. Pomfrey said we'd be in here for at least another week."
Petunia groaned and she heard Violet groan as the two twins bounced into the room. Nona addressed the green eyed one, "Faith, look at my face!" The brown one peered down and Nona giggled, "Mercy, that Muggle ointment burned and Madame Pomfrey said it was just something useless that Muggles like to buy."
Mercy shrugged and Petunia and Violet stifled their laughter as Blaise mouthed, "Their names are Mercy and Faith?"
Suddenly Faith glared up from the bed and Crookshanks hissed. She glared at Petunia and growled, "Oh look who's here, Petrifying Petunia and Violent Violet. Oh dear me!" Faith pretended to gasp in horror, "Glad you can't get to your wands. Madame Pomfrey has them."
Mercy remarked, "Oh and I'm dreadfully sorry for you, Nona, to have to suffer with this trash."
Blaise stood up from her seat and glared, "You're just being plain mean now."
Faith giggled, "Oh and shouldn't you change your name to Daisy so you can fit in with your other flower named misfits?"
Mercy cackled, "And we can call her Dreadfully Dull Daisy."
"What exactly are you implying?"
"No." Faith smiled. "We're implying that you're like a wet blanket. You're tiresome to be around. It's awfully dreadful to be in your presence." Faith pretended to swoon and soon, Crookshanks lunged at Mercy. Its claws were exposed and it spit and hissed. Blaise also took the opportunity to jump onto Faith and she began to pull and punch while Crookshanks claws and bit.
Nona began to scream for help while Violet and Petunia rooted Blaise and Crookshanks on. The door flung open and Madame Pomfrey was looking distressed. She pulled the small kitten and Blaise off the twins and threw them out of the room. The twins remained on the ground while they sobbed.
Madame Pomfrey shouted, "Faith and Mercy Darling! How dare you! Get up! They're only scratches and hair grows back. Get up! Get up! I've had enough of you two coming in here and insulting everyone from Marcus Addams to Shawn Zorbas. Get up!"
As the twins were drug out, Violet giggled silently, "Now we can call them the Dreary and Dreadful Darlings."
Violet and Petunia giggled and to their amazement, Nona giggled with them.
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A/N: CHAPTER ONE IS UNFINISHED. To Be Continued…I suppose. I came up with this idea and it's still swimming in my head. I wrote this so long ago (with the exception of the Snivellus part and some dialog was changed) and I just wanted some feedback… OotP inspired me to pick it up again. Oh…Oh…I love Mary Sue, oh how I do love my Mary Sue… LOL.
