Choice of Love by: Libby Fortin
As I'm walking to my locker, I can hear Alex Lapp and Jake Brown fighting.
"Really, Jake why would she want to be with you? I mean, you are Indian." Will this ever stop? I think they just want to fight. Jake is the mystery boy. He is dangerous, getting into fights a lot. He is the one no one really knows anything about; Alex is the popular football star, I, Nola James, am the school nerd. I always do what is right and safe. So why would they ever want me?
"Hey, shut up." I yell. Will these two idiots ever grow up? Seriously, Alex should be with a cheerleader and Jake probably can't even handle a relationship. I mean he can't even talk to anyone.
"Hey, Nol," they say. Just then, the bell rings. It's so dumb, it has to stop. What do I do? Maybe my best friend Leah Blacklake and her boyfriend Matt Heartly will help me come up with a plan at lunch. I'll send her a text. The day seems to drag until lunch.
"Hey Nol, what up with the text?" Leah asks. She always has my back. I know Matt will do anything she wants. They are so totally into each other. I so want that.
"I need Matt's and your help getting Alex and Jake to stop fighting over me. I can't take it anymore. It's stressing me out." The look on her face is so sweet. I knew she would be concerned about me.
"Okay, maybe Matt will have an idea," she says in a hopeful voice. I see Matt, as he walks over to us; I get a very good feeling, because Matt always knows what to do. He will know what to do.
"Hey, Lee, I have an idea. It's really good, too." His voice is so serious. This is going to be good.
"Okay!" we both say excitedly.
"You tell them the truth," he says.
"What?" I yell at him.
"Well, Nol, that might be the best and only way for this to stop," Leah says. Maybe she is right. Of course she is right. Leah is one of the smartest people I know.
"Okay, will you help?" I ask.
"Of course," Leah says in her best duh voice. Well, I guess that was a dumb question.
It's after school already. The first half dragged and the second half flew by. Leah and I are walking down the hall to my locker. I can hear them already.
"Listen to them," Leah says.
"Yeah, see why it needs to stop?" I say. My voice sounds tired, even to me.
"For sure I do," she says.
"I'm so glad it's going to be over soon," I say. I know Leah can tell this is the most stressful thing since my first quiz bowl.
"Hey, Nol," Jake says in his deep voice.
"Hey." Alex has a deep voice, but not as deep as Jake's.
"Hey, you guys. This idiotic fight has got to stop. I don't want either of you, so just leave me alone," I say.
"Come on Nol, you know that's not true. You're just stressed, because Jake is here and you don't want to hurt him," Alex says. I can't believe he said that, and I can't believe Jake is just standing there.
"Whatever Alex," I say.
As I start to walk away I just notice the looks in their eyes. They are so different. Alex looks happy, like I have given him the best gift ever. Jake's eyes look sad. Sad! That's really confusing, because I did not think he could feel that way. I start to walk home.
"Hey, Nol it's late, so go to bed," my mom yells. Wow, it is really late. I did not even notice that.
"Ok, mom, good night," I yell. As I close my eyes, I see Jake's sad eyes. I have had this huge feeling of loss since I approached Jake and Alex. My stomach and heart hurt. I feel like someone punched me in my gut. The weird thing is that I only have these feelings about Jake, not Alex. Leah will know what to what's wrong with me. Tomorrow is Saturday, so I'll call her then.
I call Leah. Last night I had the worst night of sleep ever. I could not sleep. Tossing and turning in my bed. I decided to do my homework, and read scene I could not sleep.
"Hello," Leah's tired voice answers.
"Hey, Lee, I'm sorry that I'm calling so early," I say. My voice must sound horrible, because Leah says, "It's ok, tell me what's wrong."
"Jake's eyes are haunting me. My heart is hurting and my gut feels like some on hit it," I cry.
"Aw. Nol I think from the way this sounds that you really like Jake and were just scared of getting hurt," she says. Is she right? Maybe she is.
"Well, what do I do?" I ask.
"Talk to him, tell him how you feel. If it backfires, just call me and I'll help you," she says. She's right, I know she will be here for me, so I to call Jake.
"Hello," Jake's deep voice says.
"Hey, Jake it's Nola. Nola James. I know you don't really want to talk to me, but I think I was wrong about my feelings toward you," I say. I sound like a loser.
"Really?" his voice is questioning.
"Yeah, can I talk to you at the diner?" I ask.
"I don't know, are you going to yell at me again?" his voice is joking, but I can hear the hurt in his voice.
"No. I'm really sorry Jake. Please talk to me," I beg. Please don't let it be too late.
"I guess, but if you do yell at me I am going to leave," he says.
"I wont I promise," I say in a rush. Yes, this is good! I tell my mom what I am doing, and I leave for the diner.
I see him before he sees me. He is wearing a black shirt and jeans. His dark hair is in his face.
"Hey," he smiles at me. My stomach does this flip-flop thing.
"Hey," I smile back, trying not to sound nervous.
"So you wanted to talk," he says.
"Yeah, I'm really sorry. I really have to tell you my feelings," I say.
"Okay," he says. His voice is weary.
"Okay, well your eyes yesterday seemed sad, and I have this weird feeling of loss after what I said," I tell him.
"I kind of feel that way, too," he says. His voice sounds a bit nervous.
"Maybe, we can take this slow," I say.
"Okay, but we have to be open with each other; my behavior has been somewhat dumb in my life." he says.
"Somewhat," I say.
"Okay, a lot," he admits.
It's Monday now. We spent all day Saturday and Sunday together with Leah, Matt, and each other. Since then we have been doing great. Jake really just has some family and trust issues. That's why he would never talk to anyone and comes off as a mystery. His dad is in jail, and his mom is a drunk who blames Jake for their problems. He is getting to trust me a little more, but this will take a long time. Leah and Matt like him.
I see Alex walking down the hall with his boyfriend of three weeks, James Waters.
"Hey Nol, do you and Jake want to hang out this weekend with me and James?" Alex asks. We are good friends now. I was the first person he told he was gay, and he thanked me for helping him realize it.
"Sure," I say, as Jake and I walk to math together.
