Shattered Souls
Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own any of the characters but my own. If I did you can bet Billy never would have left.
A/N: just to set it up for you, about 18 months earlier Jason's aunt and uncle were in the process of adopting a daughter. The last of the paperwork had just been filed and the three were heading home when they were hit by a semi on the interstate. Michael and Emily Lee were killed instantly while their new Daughter, 17 year old Julie Sol was severely injured. Over the next year Jason's family tried desperately to make sure she could legally stay with them and she attempted to recover both physically and emotionally from yet another horrible event in her life.
Chapter 1: Kisses and Scars
Jason Lee and his parents, accompanied by an army of family and friends, waited at the airport for the arrival of their newest member. It was an intimidating scene laid out before the timid young lady. Julie had long ago resigned herself to a life of loneliness and heartache. Perhaps that is why the current situation was so uncomfortable for her. She headed straight for Jason, he was the only face she recognized from the funeral and she remembered that he was kind to her. "Hi," she mumbled barely audible over the general hustle and bustle of the crowded airport. Before she had time to pull away or react at all she found herself in a many-armed group hug. Displeased by the idea of hugging perfect strangers and even more uneasy with physical contact in general after an incident with a foster father when she was eight she quickly pulled away. Jason's friend Billy Cranston noticed the slight shiver that ran through the young girl at the embrace. He was after all a very smart young man and having had a few minor traumas in his on life he recognized the response for what it was.
The ride home was long and loud. Everyone seemed desperate to make their guest feel right at home. What they failed to realize was the nervous twitching of Julie's wrist and the way she self-consciously tugged at her long sleeves.
Billy began to have suspicions that his best friend's new cousin may be a Self-Harmer, and made a mental note to investigate further. 'She really is a sweet girl though,' Billy thought to himself as his long time friend Kimberly attempted to make small talk.
"So how do you like the weather out here? I'm sure it's not what you're used to coming from Pennsylvania and all, but you'll get used to it. You must be roasting in that long-sleeve shirt though. We should go shopping sometime soon. Your gonna need a lot more summer clothes. How would like that?"
"I'm fine really," was her only reply. But once again she drew her hands up into her sleeves and shuttered slightly. Billy found this very intriguing and couldn't help but stare till he was caught looking. 'She appeared extremely nervous by my silent observations,' Billy thought, 'Perhaps she knows what my suspicions are. I sincerely wish I could speak with her privately, but I suppose it can wait.' She tugged at her sleeves once more. 'hmm, perhaps not.'
Billy allowed his mind to wander back in time to a place he hadn't visited in a long time. His mother's grave. Shortly after his mother's death he had been a very angry, depressed young man. He'd started to cut, and almost killed himself while kneeling at her grave. If it weren't for his father showing up to replace the flowers as he did weekly Billy would have bled to death. Billy never told any of his friends about the incident and had to see a number of therapists after that. He quit cutting and became, if possible, even more studious and reserved.
He came out of his reverie when he realized that the car had come to a halt in front of the Lee's house. He abandoned the caravan of vehicles parked outside for the cool house and the 'welcome' party he knew to be waiting inside.
He kept a close watch on the new arrival in the hope that he might be able to catch her alone for a moment to discuss his suspicions. However when ever she seemed to have escaped the throng of people in who's company she was obviously uncomfortable she would glance at the green-eyed blonde with a terrified look and then plunge into whatever conversation she could find. Billy was beginning to think she was purposefully avoiding him when Jason, Kimberly, Tommy, Trini, and Zack came up to him.
"You seem to be watching Juls very intently there Billy. So what do you think of her?" Jason caught Billy take one last glance in Julie's direction before turning to his friends.
"Well in all honesty it's my opinion that she has a great many issues that need to be addressed. Have your parents considered sending her to speak to a psychiatrist?"
"Wow, Billy. Where did that come from," asks Kimberly. "Honestly, I just thought she was a little shy but very nice."
"Me too," Adds Trini, "But I suppose she has been through a lot lately maybe you're right. I mean it couldn't hurt right. Besides Billy is usually right, after all."
Everyone was quiet for a while, before Billy excused himself from their company. He had spotted a lull in the activity surrounding the young lady and was determined not to let it slip away this time.
Billy walked straight up to her and asks to have a word with her in private for a moment. Juls scanned the crowd desperately for an escape, but when she can' t find any she very reluctantly accompanies him to the kitchen.
Billy is very careful to place himself between her and the exit just in case she decides to bolt. After all, that was his first reaction after he was discovered too. "I am aware that we have only just meet and that I may very well seem to be over stepping my bounds here, however, I feel that the question I have to ask you is too important to put off any longer. I've noticed that you seem very preoccupied with making certain that your sleeves are at the correct place or lower. I would like to know if that is because you are trying to hide your arms for some reason."
Juls started to squirm under his intense gaze. But at the same time she hears a note of kindness and concern in his voice. "I…... it's nothing really. It's just that…..nothing, never mind. I'm fine really."
"Julie, Are you deliberately injuring yourself?" Billy decides that to be bold and upfront is the best bet at this point. She seems to want to talk about it but she isn't sure how to, or if she can trust him.
She whispers something and looks deliberately down and away from the man standing beside her. He walks a few steps closer and gently lifts her chin to look into her hazel-green eyes. He sees the tears forming in her eyes and she sees the pain and genuine concern in his. She rolls up her sleeve and shows him the scars she's hid for so long. Some old and some from no more then a few days ago, very gently he reaches out and touches a particularly painful looking scar. She winces and he pulls away. "I apologize," he says.
"Don't. It's ok. It's just that some of them are a little more sensitive then others."
"I am well aware of that fact," he says as he lifts his shirt to reveal a surprisingly well defined stomach criss-crossed by old scars. He sees her hand twitch ever so slightly and lightly places her hand on his worst scar, just above his belly button. "I nearly killed myself with that one," he confesses as a single tear rolls down his check. She steps a little closer and wipes the tear away.
Billy's notes a sudden increase in his heart rate and his breathing gets shallower. She is so close to him that her smell is intoxicating him. 'Roses,' He decides, 'Roses and summer rain. That's what she smells like. I hadn't realized how absolutely stunning she is. I just want to hold her, but she probably wouldn't let me.' His last thought was forgotten in a instant as her lips came up to meet his, locking him in a passionate embrace, one usually reserved for long time lovers. Romeo and Juliet could not have competed with the passion of that single moment. It was then that Billy knew he could never love anyone else again.
There was a gasp from the doorway as Mrs. Lee came in to find the pair locked in a tight embrace. The gasp was less from the sight of the two together; however, after all she had every faith in love at first sight. The gasp was more to the fact that Julie's bare arm was still exposed and the deep marks were obviously of her own making. When Julie realized where her new aunts eyes were focusing she instinctively pulled her sleeves low, know it was to late, that the damage was done. Billy held her closer as she began to tremble. 'What if she sends me away, what if I get sent back to foster care. Oh my God, how could I have been so careless? What am I gonna do.'
"Mrs. Lee, I think that the three of us should discuss this in private before you talk to your husband or make any spur of the moment decisions. Please come in and sit down. I know you must be extremely worried by what you've just seen. Before you overreact however I suggest that you let me try to help her first. I believe that I can be more help to her then anyone else at the moment."
"What…I mean why. Why would you… why would anyone want to deliberately do something like that." Mrs. Lee was clearly in shock. "No offense Billy I know you're exceptionally intelligent but I think you should talk to a professional dear." She said directing her attention to Julie this time.
"Please, don't send me to shrink. I'll stop I will please don't send me away," Julie pleaded. She was desperate to stay here, with these nice people, and this incredible man she had just met.
"What? Honey, no one said anything about sending you away. We fought for you for to long to send you away now. You're here to stay. I just think you should talk to someone who can help you." Mrs. Lee looked close to tears herself as she said this.
"Mrs. Lee, please I know I can help her. Just give me a few weeks and if we haven't made enough progress for you I'll take her to the same psychologist my father took me to after my Mother died. Does that sound like an acceptable arrangement?" She had to give Billy credit he really did seem to care.
Mrs. Lee sighed heavily and grudgingly agreed to this plan and to keep this from Jason and the other. "But I can't keep this from my husband you understand."
"Ok," Julie sighed and the three of them returned to the party.
