Title: Trying to Understand

Rating: T

Summary: The world is dark. Dieter Hartmann has to grow stronger to face the monsters, but he's not trying hard enough.

Disclaimer: Monster belongs to Naoki Urasawa and Viz Media. Don't sue me, bro!

A/N: This is the first of a set of drabbles (stories less than 1,000 words) I intend to write for the best anime of all time, Monster. Spoilers (whole series) will likely ensue in all stories, so read at your own risk.


"You're pathetic."

The words hurt more than the belt.

"A stupid, worthless child."

The tears blur your vision more than the concussion.

"All I want is for you to be like Johan! Why can't you be strong, like Johan?"

His hatred pierces you deeper than the sharp angles of the hardwood chair.

He beats you, over and over again. He hits you, whips you, cuts you with shards of broken glass from cheap beer bottles that he uses to drown the terrible memories of his own past. He beats you into the floor until you want nothing more than to die. At last, you can't take it. Everything goes blissfully black.

When you wake up, he's sitting by your bed, holding you hand and smiling. He strokes your forehead, brushing your sweat-soaked hair away from your face. You look up into his eyes, so kind and soft to an outsider, but you can see only cold steel, the hatred he reserves specifically for you. He speaks.

"I'm sorry, Dieter." His voice is sugar sweet. "You know how much I hate to do this. But the world is a dark place. If you don't become stronger, then the monsters will get you. If you were strong, then I wouldn't have to hurt you. You have to try harder. You understand."

Of course you understand. It's the only thing you've ever known, after all. You just wish he knew how hard you've been trying.


A/N: In related news, I have no idea what else to write, so if you want to drop me a PM with a request for my next Monster drabble or put one in your review, that would be GREAT. I'm counting on you guys to keep me motivated! Note that I am watching the anime in English so I am only at episode 64 (chapter 136?). If you think your request would spoil me, don't post it, pretty please. Bye guys!