This story is dedicated to all of you who think that Aragorn and Legolas bromance is really stupid, and also to all of you who have written those types of stories before. I have pity on those authors, because they do not understand the meaning of the friendship between Aragorn and Legolas, nor that there is any bromance in LOTR.
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Aragorn approached Legolas, who was packing up his belongings next to a small creek. Legolas heard his friends' footsteps on the grass, and looked up, smiling. Aragorn cleared his throat.
"Legolas?"
"Yes?"
"I have feelings for you."
For a moment, Legolas's face remained completely emotionless, before he erupted into fits of laughter, thinking that his friend was merely jesting. Aragorn frowned at his friend, who wasn't taking this seriously. Legolas finally caught his breath enough to speak.
"Really? Aragorn, that was really awkward, even for you!"
"Legolas...I'm not kidding. I love you!"
It was Legolas's turn to frown. How could Aragorn be serious about this? Without thinking, he sighed.
"Aragorn, quit living in your...really weird fairy tales and wake up to smell the roses!"
"Does that mean you want me to go pick you roses?"
"What? No! It means that I'm not gay!"
"Oh."
"Lesbi honest, Aragorn, you aren't my Bella, and I'm not ever going to be your Edward Cullen."
Aragorn burst into tears.
"You mean...you mean you don't like me?"
Legolas just groaned, raking his fingers through his hair. He hadn't meant to make his friend cry, but how was that possible when brought up in a conversation topic such as this? Suddenly, Aragorn cheered up.
"Edward is a vampire. And you aren't a vampire. Or are you?"
Legolas rolled his eyes at his pestering friend.
"No, Aragorn, I don't sparkle in the sunlight."
"You sparkle in my eyes!"
"Oh, brother!"
"You like your brother, and not me?"
"Aragorn, even if I did have a brother, the answer would forever be no!"
"So, you do like me?"
"What? Why are you just out of the blue asking me these unnecessary questions?"
"Because I love you!"
All of a sudden, Orcs popped out of the forest. Legolas didn't even try to hide. Instead, he ran over to the Orcs, waving his arms like a mad man.
"Will you please kill me and rid me of life with that lunatic?" He pointed to Aragorn, who looked offended.
The leader shrugged, smirking. "Sure."
He took a swipe at Legolas's head, but the Elf dodged the blow, frowning at the Orc.
"I was joking!"
"Well, to be fair, you don't just waltz up to our kind and ask to be killed without us taking you seriously! We hate everyone we come across, even bands of our own kind!"
Soon, Legolas and Aragorn were bound back-to-back, and the Orcs decided to rest inside a cave. Legolas sighed.
"Aragorn, I need your help if we're going to get out of here."
"I'm not talking to you."
"Okay, that works too."
"Oh, I can't stay mad at you! I want to be with you forever!"
Legolas didn't even hear what Aragorn said, he was so focused on loosening his restraints so that he could reach his sheath for his knife. Finally, he managed to pull the blade out, cut the ropes, and drag Aragorn through the cave silently to the exit. Those Orcs are really stupid, Legolas thought. Or, they just didn't care.
Finally, Legolas and Aragorn started walking back to Rivendell together. Aragorn smiled.
"Legolas?"
"What now, Aragorn?"
"I love you!"
"Shutup."
THE END!
Wood Elf luver: Well, that's how I feel when I see a Legolas and Aragorn bromance story on Fanfiction! Keep those perverted thoughts to yourself so that you don't give anyone any ideas in the REAL world! Mary-sues aren't even THIS bad! So, before any of you flame me through review, if you don't like it, you should have read the summary better. You can still review, I just won't care. One opinion out of millions. Ok, hope you liked it all you other viewers, and TTYL! :)
