Author:DreamBrother
Summary:(Summer Alphabet Challenge 2007) Innocent little add-on to C is for Cat Burglar. What if the boys did try to blame Don's appendix for his hospital stay to Alan?
Disclaimer:I'm 17, I don't have time to produce television shows. Hollywood would eat me up before I even start trying.
Author's Note:My muse wouldn't let me sleep, I had to write this. You don't have to read C is for Cat Burglar, basically all you need to know is that Don got shot when a thief broke into the Eppes home while Alan was out of town, and since he is a wishful thinker, he thought he could blame it on his appendix and forego the little detail that involved bullets.
This is for all those who wanted to see the brothers try to pull the wool over Alan's eyes. To be honest, I wanted to see it to. Shout out to Chireiya for… whatever reason. Let it remain a mystery for all of us.
A is for Appendix
"So, explain to me one more time, what exactly happened while I was away?" asked Alan, sitting in a chair besides his eldest son's hospital bed while his other son sat on the chair on the opposite side, perusing a math journal.
"It's very simple, dad. My appendix decided to create a fuss, it had to come out," said Don, looking his father straight in the eye.
"Ok. And why is our house cordoned off with police tape, then, and we're not allowed to go inside?" inquired Alan.
"Charlie and I thought we heard something. It sounded like… whatever sound termites makes. So we called in some fumigators and they confirmed it. Fumigation should be over in a day or two, you can go back then," said Don.
"Uh huh. And since when do fumigators use police tape to secure a site? Don't tell me the FBI has fumigators on its payroll for its agents," stated Alan, shooting a look at his youngest who kept his head buried in the journal.
"Very simple explanation. Our friend, Gary Walker from LAPD was over, he's the one who recognized the sound because he had the same problem. He had some police tape in his car and he thought he might as well use it to secure the house. It's an added bonus because nobody would mess around with a police tape," said Don, not taking his eyes off his father.
"I thought you and Charlie recognized the sound?" Alan replied.
"No, no, we heard the sound, Gary recognized it for what it was," said Don, nodding for effect.
"Ok. That explains the house. But tell me, why do you need blood transfusions for a relatively simple procedure such as an appendectomy?"
"Surgeons are humans, dad, they make mistakes sometimes. For all we know, there was a slight tremor as they were operating and Dr. Keats's scalpel slipped a bit and nicked a blood vessel. And they are so sorry for that, they insist on giving me as much blood as I can handle. They really shouldn't, they couldn't have predicted that little hiccup," said Don, not giving into the tell-tale sign of a lie by looking to his left but which none-the-less left him a little misty eyed for his efforts.
"And that's the reason why when I asked about you from Dr. Keats, the man started stammering and blushing and could only tell me that while it was touch-and-go for a bit, you're going to be fine?" inquired Alan.
"Exactly, dad, there you go. The man probably knew that I was an FBI agent and thought that if he killed me, the whole of the FBI would come after him. He's still recovering from that little shock," Don was interrupted by a sound that sounded suspiciously like a snort from Charlie. "What, it's true, the FBI knows how to hold a grudge, Chuck,"
"I'm not saying anything. Let me read," said Charlie, now bringing a hand up to cover his lips in a seemingly thoughtful gesture. Don knew better but he let it slide.
"So, satisfied now, dad? All your questions answered?" asked Don, letting himself hope a little.
"One last question, Donnie. If it really was an appendectomy, like you said, why is your incision scar on the left instead of the right, like mine?" asked Alan innocently but his eyes were blazing.
Don gulped and looked at his hands, which had begun to play with his blanket, and there came a louder, harder to disguise, snort from Charlie.
"Erm… I'm feeling tired now, the whole blood volume going up and down, you know. I'm going to sleep a little bit, Charlie here can explain that little oddity to you," and with that, Don turned onto his right unwounded side, effectively turning his back to his father but facing Charlie who's head had come up so fast at the mention of his name that it's a wonder he didn't get whiplash.
"What? Me? Don, no…" began Charlie, stammering, glaring at his brother.
"I'm calling in a brotherly debt," whispered Don, "I'm all fine, he can see that, he won't kill you dead, just a little bit," and with that Don closed his eyes and pretended to fall asleep.
Charlie looked at his father over Don's form, Alan still not having done anything save glare at both his sons.
"Well, dad, you see, it's like this, Don has this thing, called 'situs inversus', which means his appendix is on his lef-" Charlie stopped speaking as the glare deepened and went into DefCon 5 mode.
"Oh, alright, I'll tell you what happened, but please try to remember that Don is all good and there have been no outlasting consequences…" began Charlie.
Khatum (The End)
The thingie, 'situs inversus' is an actual thing. Honest.
Two little fics in one night. Who's the hot one now? ;)
