A/N: This idea just came to me yesterday, and I just really wanted to write it. I love Dakota's and Doofenshmirtz' relationship in the show, and would love to see more fanfiction that portray it. Especially since both of these boys are going through so much pain right now, and they both need all of the support they can get.

Trigger Warning: I'm a little reluctant to post this story because there is a fairly descriptive portrayal of a panic attack (at least, that's what I was going for. I've never had a panic attack before, so I'm just going off of my own experiences with something similar, and some research that I've done about the symptoms and feelings and stuff). I don't know how accurate this portrayal is, but if you think that the actual description is something that you shouldn't be reading, then you can skip down to the line break about halfway down, where Doofenshmirtz' point of view comes in. The panic attack will still be in the story there, but it won't be from their point of view and won't be nearly as descriptive.

Be safe, and if I'm totally inaccurate and insulting about my portrayal of a panic attack, then please be gentle.


Dakota had gotten so used to going back in time and saving Cavendish's life that it almost felt like second nature to him. At first it had been horrifying and Dakota seemed to have nightmares every single night about it. Eventually though he had become pretty numb to the whole thing. It had long since stopped bothering him, because he had long since stopped thinking too deeply about it. He didn't know what it was about Cavendish that made him keep on dying, and sure, maybe it would be nice to know what this whole thing was about, but he avoided thinking about it. Dakota worked on keeping Cavendish alive, and that was all he needed to know.

Dakota had been comfortable with this, but then they'd been fired from B.o.T.T., and suddenly he couldn't go back in time anymore. Sure, he didn't really have to, but it made him anxious to know that he didn't have the chance to if something should happen to Cavendish.

Dakota had never cared much for rule following. He did what he wanted, and saw rules as more of guidelines that should, but didn't necessarily have to, be followed. That was always how Dakota had been. After they got fired though, he'd had to change that. Dakota didn't know what it was that made Cavendish particularly vulnerable to dying, but he didn't think that leaving the bureau would do anything to change it. Cavendish could still die, except now Dakota didn't have a way to go back and undo things. If something were to happen to Cavendish, that was it, there was no more do-overs.

They had been lucky to get a job at P.I.G. Cavendish may have thought that the job was demeaning and humiliating, but Dakota was almost glad for it. Sure, the job was no fun, but it was better than having no job at all or, even worse, one that was risky where Cavendish might end up getting hurt. Being space janitors was easy, and it was safe, and that was about all that Dakota could ask for.

He should have known that it wouldn't be enough for Cavendish, that he would want more. Cavendish wanted to be glorified and recognized, Dakota had known this, but he had never realized just how deep these desires went. He had never considered just how far Cavendish would go.

And now, Cavendish was gone. He had just up and left, and Dakota didn't know what to do without him. He couldn't handle being away from Cavendish, which was why he always went back in time to save his life. Dakota didn't know what he would do if he was on his own. And now, that was exactly how he was, all because he hadn't recognized just how dissatisfied Cavendish was. If Dakota hadn't been so blind, maybe he could have done things differently and Cavendish would have stayed.

Dakota spent a lot of time wallowing in self-pity after Cavendish had left. He didn't do anything with himself. He spent most of his time hanging out at diners and ice cream shops. He knew it wasn't healthy, and that he was just going to be making himself sick from eating so much, but he didn't know where else to go. He couldn't stay in their office room, not when Cavendish wasn't there. The place just felt so empty. Dakota only went back to the office to sleep, and almost for no other reason.

Dakota had always found it annoying and ironic when Cavendish called him lazy, because he'd always had a very complicated and sometimes nonexistent relationship with sleep. Dakota was way too energetic to fall asleep easily, and then he always woke up super easily too, which meant that every night he only got about five hours of sleep. He sometimes took naps when he was really exhausted, and pretty much slept all day long on Sundays. It wasn't the healthiest of sleeping systems, but it worked well enough for Dakota.

And then Cavendish had left, which screwed up Dakota's sleep schedule. He always felt tired now, constantly feeling the need to go home, curl up on his couch, and just make the world disappear for a few hours. He ended up falling asleep almost immediately, and then stayed that way until morning. For most people, it would be normal, but it definitely wasn't for Dakota. He was sleeping for nearly ten hours every night, which was twice as much as he normally got.

Dakota wondered sometimes if this was something that he should be worried about, but mostly he was just relieved that he wasn't plagued by nightmares. Until, of course, he was.

Dakota woke up with a start, breathing deeply. He up, with eyes wide, and longed desperately around the room. He felt disoriented and weird. He knew that he was just on the couch in the rented office room, but he couldn't shake the sick feeling in his stomach that he was lost, and he didn't know where he was supposed to go.

It took a couple of minutes for Dakota to actually wake up enough to realize that everything that he had 'seen' and 'lived' just a little bit ago was just a nightmare. Sure, it was a nightmare that was heavily inspired by actual events that Dakota had lived through, but still just a nightmare. As Dakota's lingering adrenalin died down he groaned and leaned back against the couch. He hadn't had a nightmare for nearly six months, and he hadn't had one this bad since that very first death. It was strange, and really unnerving.

Dakota had gotten used to nightmares though. This one may have been particularly bad, but that shouldn't make the recovery any different from his other nightmares. First step was to recognize that he wasn't asleep anymore, that he was safe. Dakota had already done that bit, so he could just go on ahead to the second and most calming step, which was to look at Cavendish and remind himself that his partner was alive and well.

Except...Cavendish wasn't there. Cavendish was gone, and Dakota had no idea where he was, or what he was doing. Dakota didn't even know why Cavendish had left, so he couldn't really begin guessing what he was up to, or how safe he could be. Dakota didn't know what state Cavendish was in, if he was hurt, or if he was even alive.

Dakota felt his breath catch in his threat. He stiffened and clutched tightly at the couch cushions. That uneasy, lost feeling in his stomach had eased up after he had calmed down, but now it was back with a vengeance. Dakota felt like he was going to be sick.

He instinctively wanted to wrap his arms around his chest in an attempt to alleviate the pain, or at least the nausea. He couldn't bring himself to move though, he was stiff, frozen. Dakota drew in a deep breath, but it felt like it wasn't enough. He needed more air. He tried to take in a long, slow, deep breath, tried to be calm about this, but when it felt like the air was getting trapped before it could reach his lungs, any thought of being calm went out the window.

Dakota whimpered and became so tense that he didn't think it was possible for his shoulders to be any more hunched. He could actually feel his heard rate in his neck. He could swear that he could feel the blood rushing into his ears, making them throb almost painfully.

Dakota shut his eyes tightly. Cavendish wasn't there. What if something had happened to him? It wasn't like Dakota was there to prevent it. Then again, even if Dakota was there, who knew if he would be able to do anything to protect Cavendish? He had never been able to really protect him before. Cavendish was probably dead right now, and Dakota wouldn't even know. He was such a sorry excuse for a partner.

He should be out there, keeping Cavendish safe. He should have kept his mouth shut about the whole 'Cavendish dying' thing to Mr. Block. They could still have their old jobs, and they wouldn't be in this whole mess in the first place. Dakota just kept on messing up, and it had probably gotten Cavendish killed.

Even if Cavendish wasn't dead yet, it was probably just a matter of time. Dakota knew that if there was even a chance that Cavendish was alive, he should be out there trying to keep him safe and yet here he was, sitting on his couch, doing nothing of the sort. He was just so useless, and stupid, and Cavendish was probably dead, and it was all his fault.

Dakota's hands were shaking. He could see his body reacting strangely, like he had just run a ten mile marathon, even though he had barely moved a muscle since waking up. He didn't know what was wrong with him. Was this normal? Dakota remembered a couple of times when Cavendish had died in his sleep and he hadn't known what had happened. Was this what had happened to Cavendish those times? Dakota didn't know if he was actually dying, because unlike Cavendish he'd never actually died before. All he knew was that he was scared, absolutely terrified, and he'd never felt like this before. Was this how Cavendish felt during some of his deaths? How could Dakota ever become numb to Cavendish feeling like this?

Dakota had never been very good at being alone before. He liked to be around people, or even just one somebody. This was the first time that it had truly scared him though. He was all alone, not just right now, but always. Nobody...nobody was there, and they wouldn't be there, and it scared him. He just wanted someone to be there.

Except...no, that wasn't quite right. He felt alone and completely hopeless and useless, but logically Dakota knew that it wasn't true. But there was a huge difference between knowing something, and knowing it. And right now, Dakota's knowing feeling in his gut had completely taken over, and it felt like he had no control over it at all.

Fortunately, his logical knowledge, the stuff that was actually true, had started putting up a pretty good fight. It seemed to take a ridiculous amount of his willpower, but Dakota was able to pull one of his hands away from clutching desperately at the cushion. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his phone. He never used it very often, because he didn't really have very many people to talk to, but at that moment he was glad that Cavendish had insisted that he have one.

Dakota stared at his phone screen for a minute or two, just trying to decide if he really wanted to do this. He didn't want to be alone, and he wanted to stop feeling like this. But what if nobody could make this go away? What if he was just bothering them for nothing? It was the middle of the night, and whoever he called would probably be mad if he woke them up, especially when it wasn't for something that was all that important.

Dakota didn't want to have any more friends leave him because he had screwed up.

Dakota had no idea how long he seemed to fight with himself about something as simple as dialing a number. Dakota took in a breath, closed his eyes again, and hit the speed dial on his phone. He regretted it the moment that he did it, but his body froze up all over again. It seemed he was done with moving for now. He couldn't make himself hang up, so instead he just watched the phone with a horrified expression, listening and waiting.

Part of him hoped desperately that nobody would answer, because this whole thing was a mistake, and he shouldn't be dragging other people into his problems. The other part of him wanted nothing more than to hear a friendly voice reassure him that everything would be okay, that he was okay.

Dakota didn't know which situation would come true, and he didn't even know which one he wanted to be the case. So he just waited.


It wasn't often that movie night was held at the Murphy's house, what with the possibility of Murphy's Law causing a statewide power outage, or the cable company being destroyed in a buffalo stampede. Sometimes though even the Murphy's got lucky, and Doofenshmirtz was about to participate in his first Murphy family movie night. Sure, it wasn't exactly a Murphy family movie night, because Martin and Brigette weren't actually participating this time, but Milo's two friends were. And they weren't watching a movie, but binge watching a television series. Still, Doofenshmirtz was too excited to be bothered by the little details.

"So, this is Orton's show?" Doofenshmirtz asked Milo as they watched their eleventh consecutive episode of Dr. Zone. It was more of a rhetorical question, because Doofenshmirtz knew all too well that this was Orton's show. After all, Orton was right there on screen, wearing that Dr. Zone outfit that he had been wearing during that pistachio incident. Doofenshmirtz would recognize him anywhere.

"Yeah, this is the show he made," Milo leaned back against the couch and looked back at him. "How are you liking it?

"Eh, it's okay," Doofenshmirtz shrugged. He was enjoying watching the show, but not for the reason why other people would.

The plot of the show itself wasn't something that Doofenshmirtz would normally be interested in watching, but he would happily watch every episode out there, and according to Sara there were a lot of them, because it would mean watching Orton successfully becoming the person that he was meant to be. Orton had created an empire, and if he could achieve his destiny, then so could Doofenshmirtz.

Sara had said that to fully get into the show that he would need to get past the first ten episodes, which was when the show was still trying to find its identity, and then things would really start to pick up. Because they were finally on episode eleven, Sara assured Doofenshmirtz that the show would really begin getting good and he really had to start paying attention.

"Shh, guys, we're about to see the Trashcandroids for the first time," Sara whispered harshly, keeping her eyes glued to the television set. Milo smiled apologetically and turned back to the tv, dropping their conversation.

The five of them watched the episode quietly for a few minutes. Just when Dr. Zone and Time Ape were about to walk right into a horde of things that looked like walking trash cans, Doofenshmirtz heard his cell phone ring. He had accidentally left his ringer on at full volume, and the noise caused Milo's friends, who had started to doze off about an hour ago, to wake up with a start.

Sara groaned and reluctantly paused the episode. She glared at Doofenshmirtz, though he didn't know why. It wasn't like he had asked for somebody to call him at 1:00 in the morning...come to think of it, why would somebody be calling him so late?

Doofenshmirtz didn't recognize the number on his phone, but he didn't regularly memorize phone numbers. He recognized Charlene's number, and had Vanessa's memorized, but that was about it. Who could this be?

Doofenshmirtz answered the phone. "Hello?" There was no answer. Doofenshmirtz repeated himself, a little bit more firmly than he had before. "Hello?" This time Doofenshmirtz thought that he noticed a sound coming through his phone, but it just sounded like strange breathing, and for all he knew it might just be static. He felt himself getting annoyed, but also confused. "Look, if anybody's there, if you're not going to say anything then I'm just going to hang up now."

"W-wait!" Doofenshmirtz flinched slightly at the loud response. He almost hadn't been expecting an answer. When he recovered from his surprise he realized that he actually recognized that somewhat nasally voice.

"Dakota?" Doofenshmirtz frowned. He and Dakota had exchanged numbers awhile ago, but neither of them had called each other yet. Why had Dakota chosen now to call? "What's up?"

"I-I don't…" Dakota's tone was shaky and he sounded slightly breathless, almost like he had been running. Then his voice cracked slightly and he trailed off with a whimper, and Doofenshmirtz began to wonder if there was maybe another, more concerning reason why Dakota sounded so off.

"Hey, are you okay?" Doofenshmirtz asked quietly. He was inexplicably worried, and his concern must have shown in his voice because Sara's glare softened and Milo turned to watch him in concern.

"I...no," Dakota's voice wavered, but his answer still came off as confident. He definitely wasn't okay. Doofenshmirtz may not have known Dakota for long, but he didn't seem like the kind of person who was the least bit negative, so just hearing him say he wasn't okay was enough to make Cavendish worry that something was seriously wrong.

"What's going on?" Milo asked. Doofenshmirtz knew that Dakota and Milo were close to each other, so he thought the boy deserved to know what was going on.

"Hang on, I'm putting you on speaker." Doofenshmirtz said. He brought the phone away from his ear and pushed the speaker button. Now all of them could hear Dakota's breathing and occasional muttering.

"Hey, Dakota," Milo leaned towards Doofenshmirtz' phone. "Is something wrong?"

Milo's tone was even more calm and gentle than Doofenshmirtz was, but for some reason it seemed to make Dakota feel worse. Dakota made a noise that was like a cross between a whimper and a groan. Doofenshmirtz and Milo exchanged concerned glances. Something was really wrong, but talking to Dakota over the phone wasn't getting them anywhere. They had to talk to Dakota in person.

"Where are you?" Doofenshmirtz asked as he got to his feet. Dakota didn't really sound like he was in a good state right now. To Doofenshmirtz' knowledge, anybody that Dakota would normally spend time with was in this room, so he was by himself. Doofenshmirtz knew that Dakota never liked being alone, but right now he thought that it was an especially bad idea.

At first Dakota didn't say anything. They could hear him breathing, so he was definitely there, but he wasn't answer. Doofenshmirtz was about to come up with a backup plan to find out where Dakota was when he finally answered. "O-off…" The rest of his answer was interrupted by Dakota taking in a sharp breath, which then became a series of gasping breaths. Doofenshmirtz thought that the partial answer was enough for him to go off of.

"Are you at the office?" Doofenshmirtz asked, thinking of the place where Dakota had last seen his partner.

Dakota didn't actually answer, but he made a sound that sounded a bit like the beginning of a 'yes', so that was what Doofenshmirtz was going to go for.

"Sit tight, I'm going to come get you," Doofenshmirtz said. He barely took a step towards the front door before he was stopped by Sara grabbing his arm.

"I'll drive you," Sara said. "You know my parents don't want you driving our car," Doofenshmirtz didn't understand why Martin and Brigette felt better about a teenager or a Murphy male driving the car than him, but now wasn't a good time to complain. Doofenshmirtz had more important things to worry about.

"I'm coming too," Milo said quickly.

"W-wait," Dakota said stiffly. "No...speaker…" Doofenshmirtz really didn't like this two word answer thing that Dakota had going on. He always had to guess what Dakota meant. This time, he could just assume that Dakota didn't want to be on speaker anymore.

Doofenshmirtz turned off speaker phone and brought the phone back up to his ear. "Alright, it's just me,"

"Don't b-bring the kid," Dakota said. His voice was still shaky, but it was the first time he was able to get in anything close to a full sentence. For some reason, this worried Doofenshmirtz more than just the one word responses. "I-I can't…" Dakota took in a strained breath. "P-please,"

"Yeah, okay," Doofenshmirtz said. He gave Milo an apologetic look. And motioned for him to stay put. Milo's displeased look told him that he had got the message. Fortunately, Milo wasn't putting up a fight, he just wasn't happy. Doofenshmirtz would have to make it up to him later. It seemed really important to Dakota that Milo didn't come, and Doofenshmirtz would honor that. "Sara's going to be driving me. We'll be there in about ten minutes. Do you want to stay on the phone until we got there?"

"S-s-sure," Dakota let out a slow laugh. It sounded strained and slightly forced, but it was the closest thing to 'normal' that he had sounded this whole phone call, and Doofenshmirtz would take what he could get. "Th-thanks, man,"

"No problem," Doofenshmirtz said as he and Sara headed outside. Sara didn't even pause to go tell her parents where they were going, they just rushed outside and into the car. Doofenshmirtz gave Sara directions to the strip mall where the small office space that Dakota was renting was. As soon as they were off, Doofenshmirtz gave his entire focus back to Dakota.

"So...what did you want to talk about?" Doofenshmirtz asked somewhat uncertainly. He felt out of his comfort zone. He wasn't really used to comforting or calming somebody else, and it wasn't like he'd been on the receiving end of comfort enough to know what he was supposed to do.

"Uh, I-I'm not really…" Dakota let out a shaky laugh. "...thinking straight r-right now."

Doofenshmirtz grimaced. Right, he knew that. Dakota wasn't quite looking for somebody to talk to, he was wanting someone to talk to him, to distract him. This was something that Doofenshmirtz was a little more familiar with. If there was one thing he knew he could do without screwing up, it was talking about himself.

Doofenshmirtz just started at the beginning, with both of his parents failing to come to his birth, and he just took off from there. By the time they got to the strip mall, Doofenshmirtz had just gotten to the part where he had been adopted by ocelots. If Dakota had been paying the least bit attention to what he had been saying, he would probably have a lot of questions. Doofenshmirtz would be happy to give him any answers he was looking for.

"Alright, I'm here," Doofenshmirtz said. He left Sara to wait in the car while he went to get Dakota. He worried for a moment that the door would be locked, but he had no reason to worry. The door was unlocked. Doofenshmirtz just let himself in.

He saw Dakota sitting tensely on the couch, shaking slightly. He didn't look like he was in trouble, but he really didn't look like he was doing all that well. Doofenshmirtz wondered what had happened. He slowly approached the couch and cautiously sat down next to Dakota. Now, he definitely didn't know what to do. Talking was one thing, but this? Doofenshmirtz didn't even know what this was.

Doofenshmirtz had barely been next to Dakota for a moment before Dakota dropped his phone and grabbed his hand tightly. Doofenshmirtz let Dakota squeeze his hand as much as he wanted to. Doofenshmirtz didn't say a word, he just sat there next to Dakota and hoped that it would be enough.

Gradually Dakota began to relax. His irregular and panicked breathing slowed down to something a little more manageable. Dakota didn't loosen his grip on Doofenshmirtz hand', but he still seemed to be doing a little better.

It was about five more minutes after that when Dakota seemed calm enough to talk again. "That...that wasn't fun." Dakota said, his voice sounding raw. He rubbed at his eyes slightly with his free hand. Dakota released his tight grip on Doofenshmirtz' hand, but Doofenshmirtz didn't let go, not unless Dakota actually tried to pull away from him, and he didn't.

"Sure didn't look like it," Doofenshmirtz agreed. "What was that anyway?"

Dakota shook his head. "I don't really know. First it was like an adrenaline rush after a nightmare, and then it just became that."

"A nightmare?" Doofenshmirtz frowned. It must have been a pretty bad one if it had caused this. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Dakota stiffened and seemed to shudder slightly. "Man, I don't even want to think about it. Not right now."

"Alright, you don't have to," Doofenshmirtz said, though he was planning on trying to get Dakota to talk about his nightmare later. Doofenshmirtz knew just how therapeutic it could be just to talk about something, and it looked like Dakota would need all of the therapeutic help that he could get. "Are you okay though?"

"I feel lousy," Dakota said as he rubbed the back of his neck. "A-and I really don't want to be alone right now with just my thoughts after…" Dakota trailed off, but Doofenshmirtz got it. He still didn't really understand what had happened to Dakota, but it seemed like it had come from too much worried thoughts. Maybe it wasn't entirely healthy to just avoid one's problems, but sometimes it was the only thing that could be done. If Dakota didn't think he could handle thinking about things, then Doofenshmirtz would give him the distraction he needed.

"Well, we're having a bit of a movie night at the Murphy's," Doofenshmirtz said. Maybe it was rude for him to invite Dakota to a home that wasn't exactly his, but he was sure they wouldn't mind. Sara hadn't hesitated to drive Doofenshmirtz here, even though she barely knew Dakota, and Milo was worried enough about Dakota that he would probably be ecstatic if the man joined them. "Come on, let's go,"

Doofenshmirtz waited until Dakota nodded, and he stood up, pulling the younger man to his feet. Dakota paused for a moment to grab a ratty old teddy bear, but other than that he was quick to follow Doofenshmirtz lead.

The two of them slowly made their way outside. Sara was still out there waiting by the car. She looked relieved when she saw them. "Is everything okay?"

"It's all fine," Doofenshmirtz waved aside Sara's concern. He knew that Dakota was far from being fine, but he didn't seem all that eager to make people worry needlessly about him. This was probably why Dakota hadn't wanted Milo to come with them, because he hadn't wanted Milo to see him in the state that he'd been in.

"Hey, Sara," Dakota smiled at her dryly. "Dr. D. says you guys are having a movie party without me."

Sara rolled her eyes. "It's not a movie, it's Dr. Zone," Her correction seemed to be more mock sincere and playful than anything. "You can go ahead and join us if you want."

"Please," Dakota grinned. He climbed into the backseat of the car, and raised an eyebrow when Doofenshmirtz came in the back with him.

Doofenshmirtz shrugged. "There's more leg space back here," It wasn't a good excuse, and they all knew how ridiculous it was, but Dakota didn't call him out for it. In fact, Dakota just seemed to appreciate the company. He appreciated it enough to still hold on to Doofenshmirtz' hand, though he wondered if Dakota even realized that he was still holding it.

Sara began the drive back to the Murphy house. While they drove Dakota stared silently out the window. Doofenshmirtz wouldn't think of this as something worth worrying about, except that Dakota's grip on his hand gradually got tighter until it was almost painful. He was probably just thinking to himself again, which was exactly what he didn't want. Doofenshmirtz had to distract him again.

"You want to share your thoughts with the class?" Doofenshmirtz squeezed Dakota's hand back. Dakota blinked and slowly turned to look at him.

"Eh, nothing much," Dakota ran a hand through his hair and grinned slightly at Doofenshmirtz. "I was just wondering you came back to live among boring old humans again after being adopted by ocelots." They both knew that Dakota hadn't actually been thinking about ocelots or Doofenshmirtz, but Dakota was giving him an easy distraction, and Doofenshmirtz was going to take it.

Doofenshmirtz grinned excitedly. He was always happy to have an eager listener to his sorry tale. "Well, that is a whole series of background stories. It may take some time to tell,"

Dakota turned in his seat so he was facing Doofenshmirtz completely. "Hey, I've got the time." So Doofenshmirtz picked up where he left off with his backstory. This time, Dakota was paying full attention to him, asking clarifying questions and providing sympathy when the story called for it. Doofenshmirtz was glad that he could provide Dakota with the distraction he so desperately needed, but he was also relieved, if a little bit shocked, to notice that talking about his backstory seemed to be doing him some good.

Maybe it wasn't the backstory itself, but just the fact that Doofenshmirtz felt comfortable enough around Dakota to share things that were so personal with him. Doofenshmirtz hadn't really let himself get close to anybody else since things had gone so badly with Perry the platypus. Maybe he was ready for a new best friend, and maybe that best friend could be Dakota.

Doofenshmirtz didn't know if Dakota was ready to find a new best friend himself, but it certainly seemed like he needed one. Dakota didn't seem all that quick to open up his feelings to other people. Doofenshmirtz hoped that Dakota calling him when he'd needed help was a sign that he too was ready to become best friends. They were both pretty emotional messes, but maybe they could be emotional messes together.