Breaking Point

Chapter One: Awaken

A/N: This story is told in three POVs: Marissa's, Ryan's, and Seth's. Whenever you see a line thing it means I'm switching the POV. If it's too confusing…please, let me know!

I woke up at the time I always did on school days, 6:00. The sun was just coming up and I felt a sudden rush of familiarity. I remember this, I told myself. This is my bed. This is my room. I know this!  My eyes darted around the room. Then why do I feel so lost? It didn't feel this way before. I used to feel excited, another year at the top of the scale. No worries. Be happy! My mind was shouting at me now, wonderful.

"Marissa?! Are you awake yet?"

I popped up from my bed and moved to the edge. When I put my feet down on the carpet routine took hold of my legs and started dragging me towards the door. My hand reached out towards the knob on my door. I opened it. The cold air coming from the main hallway kissed my face for just a couple of seconds while I responded to my mother.

"Yeah. I'll be down as soon as I'm ready."

I didn't hear a response. She must've left. Why would she care if I made it to school on time anyway? She just cares about divorce papers…nothing more, nothing less.  Then routine gripped me again and pulled me to my closet. I stared at the blue and white uniform hanging on the door. Hurry Marissa! You don't want to be late! Everyone is looking forward to seeing you. No one will dare say anything about what happened last week. You are Marissa Cooper. Don't you remember? I blinked. It was abnormally long for a blink. I made it that way…I spared myself a minute or torment. When my mind couldn't see, it was powerless. I'm trying. I answered. I'm trying so-.

"Hey, Marissa, can I borrow your-"

I turned suddenly and saw Caitlin staring at me.

"Why aren't you dressed yet? Aren't you gonna eat? I swear, Mom's gone psycho. She's cooking! I don't think it'll be edible. You're doing the smart thing…stalling. That way you have less of a chance of getting food poisoning. Did Summer call? Are you going with her or with Luke? They haven't been over for awhile…"

I blinked again. What the hell did she just say? I can't process that. It's too much, it's all to much. Can't you just stop thinking?! My mind was yelling at me again.

"Um…yeah. What did you want?" Great response. Killer. Why was my mind doing this? Shut up, I whispered to it.

"Your flat iron. Mine won't turn on."

"Sure. Here." I handed the iron to my sister.

"Thanks."

I watched Caitlin leave and turned around again. My hand was about to pull the hanger off the door when the phone rang. I moved to go answer, not the easiest thing. It was the routine again. It told me to stay. Answering the phone was not built into the schedule, but still, I managed.

"Hello?"

"Hey!" It was Seth.

"Um…are you guys ready?"

"No. Ryan's…well Ryan's not adjusting as great as I thought. "

I managed a weak laugh. It was fake, but still did its job. "That's okay. Tell him to take his time. We still have about 40 minutes."

"Will do. Uh…we're meeting you…?"

"On my drive way. My dad is gonna take us then drop off Cait."

"Okay. See ya then."

"Bye"

Dial tone.  

It took me forever to put the phone back, or it just felt like forever. Hurry, hurry! I snapped back to reality and ran to put my uniform on. When I went to look in my mirror, I ran my hand through my hair. It was still damp from last night's shower.  Then my ears finally noticed that the radio alarm was on.

"Be sure to drink lots of water today folks! We've got a humid day ahead of us!"

Ponytail. Easy. Fast. Clean.

I tied my hair up and put on a little make up. Not too much, just enough. Then I raced down the stairs. Maybe I can sneak a piece of fruit and a muffin, I thought. I wasn't about to risk my life on the amateur cooking skills of Julie Cooper.

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          When I put down the phone I felt relived. I was actually walking into school with other people. I didn't have to pretend that I was part of a group of strangers anymore. I had Ryan and I kinda had Marissa. She really doesn't count because it's all through Ryan. Maybe later, when she learns more about me she'll count as a real friend. When she starts to like me for me, not for Ryan.

          "Hey, Seth. Do we have to wear these?"

          I looked at Ryan. He was holding a pin. The same ugly one I had on.

          "Yep. They symbolize 'Your devotion to the school and to the pursuit of knowledge. By placing these pins over your heart you show the world that you are worthy of entering the hallowed halls of this school.'"

          I waited, Ryan laughed. I smiled. Why couldn't other people see this- the funny, quirky, delightful Seth? This was the Seth that I would present today. I did a lot of thinking about what my dad had said. That it was a new school year. I think of it now as a new…beginning. A much better one, I hope.

"Seth! Ryan! Are you going to eat?"

          Ryan looked at me and I nodded. He put his pin on, grabbed his backpack, and followed me down the stairs. This made me happy. Why? I don't know. It just did. Maybe because I had never been followed before… I had always followed other people.

          My mom was about to shout again until she saw us walk into the kitchen. She smiled.

          "Take your pick. I have to get going…work, meetings, business."

          I said good-bye and Ryan followed. Again with the happy…

          "So…what will we be eating this morning? Cereal, muffins, snack bars…or do we feel fancy? Warm food?"

          I waited again… for a laugh maybe? I'm not sure. Ryan laughed. Two to start off the morning. Not bad.

          "Cereal is fine."

          I nodded and busted out the Cohen family vault of cereals.

The whole 10 minutes we spent eating were totally quiet. I felt that all too familiar nervousness creep up on me. The one I always get when I think people are getting bored with me.

          Ryan washed his dish, but I just dumped mine in the sink. I almost turned around to wash it, but I didn't. That's what a maid is for…right?

          "Where are we meeting Marissa?" Ryan asked while we were walking to the end of my driveway.

          "Right here."

          Marissa smiled. Ryan smiled. I didn't. Again it was quiet and I felt nervous again. Then Marissa's dad called us. We all got into his car and before I knew it we were in front of the school. I forgot everything I had said to myself before this day. Everything that would help me make this year different. I wanted to go back home.

          Marissa got out first, then Ryan, and then me. When me feet touched the ground and when my eyes locked to bring in a full view of the school entrance everything felt the same as it had last year. That's not what I wanted...it was supposed to feel different. Why wasn't I able to do it?

*And so ends the first chapter! YAY! Did you like it? Please review. Oh…and if anyone knows the name of the school, please tell me in your review! Thanx for reading!*