Hey everyone, new fic. here (please don't hate me too bad if you don't like it!). So there is one majoy spoiler from Alter Boys. If you havn't seen it you should probably GOOGLE it and read up on it. Also, my computor doesn't have spell check so please don't get too made if something is not spelled right. I also neglected to read through it so please tell me if anything didn't make sense. Thanks!
Grissom's POV
"That guilt is not in me anymore." I had told the priest those very words 4 years ago, still trying to convince myself that I still didn't carry the guilt with me. Who was I trying to kid, hell, I'll always fell guilty for what happened to her, to them.
It was years and years ago, nearly 30 to be exact. I was a collage kid, working 2 jobs to pay for my education. I would work night shift at the morgue from Monday - Friday and on the weekends I worked at a funeral home, helping apply makeup to the bodies, I was even allowed to stitch up the bodies that came from the morgue after autopsy. (Back then the guys in the morgue didn't sew up the bodies after the autopsy, that was left to the funeral home.) I would say that I had fun back then, I was able to meet people who, in my future, would help me land the coroner's position in LA County.
It was during my sophomore year when I met Kate. She was studying to be a marine biologist while I was studying in entomology. We met in an English class and I mush have impressed her when I quoted Shakespeare to our teacher when we read Romeo and Juliet. Kate was beautiful with long blond hair and deep green eyes. She was short, around 5'6 and couldn't have weighed more than 120 pounds. Before we knew what was happening, we were in bed together. We all but moved in to my off campus apartment.
It was during the second month of our relationship that she told me that I was going to be a father. I swear my heart stopped. She had tears in her eyes and I knew that it was the end of our time together. She was upset with me, she said that I must have planned all of it, she said that I must have wanted a baby long before I found her. We decided that Kate would have the baby and that we would take care of it together until we finished collage, where in we would share custody because we both planned to stay in California.
It was on July 29th that my daughter was born. Allison Miranda Calaway was born. I insisted that the baby take her mother's last name, Grissom did not suite Allison Miranda. Kate had complications after Allison was born so I took my daughter home with me until Kate was released from the hospital a week later. Kate's mother wasn't happy about her daughter having a baby so early in life, but she knew that I was responsible even if I did work with dead people all day. My mother wasn't much happier but she also knew that I would do anything for my daughter and also that I would never leave Kate high and dry.
So our lives continued, not in a normal fashion, but what is normal anyway? I taught Allison Miranda how to count when she was 2 and a half and when she was 3 I began teaching her about bugs and the alphabet. She was the smartest child, she had her mother's beauty and both of our smarts. Allison had my curly hair but it was blond like her mothers, she had my blue eyes, her mother's face, and my ears. When i was elected as coroner for LA County, Kate forbid me to take Allison to the morgue, she said I would make her weird. I assured her that Allison would not be weird, but when she was 5 I broke my promise and took her there. She was not frightened when I showed her my dark office and she even though it was funny that I had a cot beside my desk. When I showed her a body she did not cry out or run away, instead she asked if she could touch it. I was surprised, of course, but I slid a glove over her small hand and she gently touched the woman's head, smoothing down her hair.
"How did she die?" She asked me.
"She was murdered. Shot through the chest."
"May I see it? The wound, that is?"
"I suppose," I pulled the sheet off around her chest and Allison looked at it thoughtfully.
"It was a big bullet, wasn't it?"
"Yes, a Colt 45." I can't remember exactly why I allowed Allison to touch the body, or even why I brought her to the morgue. She begged me to let her come, but I can't remember why I allowed her to do so. She assured me that she wouldn't tell her mother that I brought her and told me that she wanted to see what I did when I wasn't with her.
Kate worked on a boat out in the ocean for weeks at a time. During her long trips, she would leave Allison with me. I worked constantly, but when I had Allison, I would put my work on hold to make sure that I was home when her school let out. After I took her to my office when she was 5, she would come with me more often, doing odd jobs to keep her busy why I did paperwork. She would help a morgue assistant clean up after an autopsy or wipe down the coolers when a body was released.
One thing I never allowed her to do was to watch an autopsy. Kate finally told me that I could take Allison to the morgue when she was 9, it was a relief to me because I no longer had to lie about where we spent our time while Allison was with me. Allison asked me if she could see an autopsy one day while I was trying to find a detective to take her up to the lab so I could preside over the autopsy.
"Please Daddy, I promise I won't puke."
"Allison, Sweetheart, I'm sorry. Mommy wouldn't like it if I let you watch. Besides, don't you want to go to the lab and get some more fingerprint powder, I know you don't have a lot left. you could even make more of your Red Creeper powder, I love that stuff."
"No Dad, I want to stay here. Please, I'm 9 now, I can take it. Dr. Casity said he wouldn't mind, as long as I didn't puke in the drip pan."
"I'll make you a deal, when you're 10, I'll let you watch one. What do you say? I'll even let you help me weigh the organs."
"Well, I guess I could wait. My birthday is only 3 months away."
"Great, it's settled then. Now Jeremy from the fingerprint lab is coming to get you. Why don't you make Megan some of that Red Creeper. She and the other CSIs all love to use it."
"Ok Daddy," she hugged him. "I love you."
"I love you too."
It was the last time she was in the morgue. That day she make fingerprint powder for the day shift CSIs and made Jeremy print her and put her in the AFIS. Everyone at the lad loved her, they threw her parties on her birthdays and gave her special privileges around the lab; I swear Alison had a lab coat in every color.
The next day Allison and I went to pick her mother up from the boat docks. I drove them back to Kate's place when Allison and I had cooked dinner. Later, after dinner, I tucked Allison into bed and kissed Kate good night.
"Why don't you stay?" she asked, taking my face in her hands.
"Because that would mean that you would wake up with me by your side."
"So what. I still love you Gil."
"And I love you, and our baby, but we can't change the past."
"But we can change our futures." She kissed me passionately and I let her lead me toward her bedroom.
We woke up the next morning, encased in each other's arms; neither Kate, nor I, regretted what we had done. I fixed breakfast as Kate showered and woke Allison up. Since Kate spent so much time on the boats, she had a week off in between her 2 week trips.
All 3 of us spent the day together, enjoying the beach. We were, for once in our lives, a real family. I spent another night at Kate's, enjoying the feeling that I was now a family man. I had to go into work for a little while the next day, Kate and Allison were going shopping.
I was taking a quick nap on my cot when I received the phone call. I recognized the voice immediately, it was Detective Mark. "Gil?" he asked shakily.
"Yeah Bill?" I yawned, sitting up and rubbing my eyes.
"I...I need to tell you that..."
"Hey, Bill, what's wrong?"
"Gil, it's Allison and Kate, they've been...killed."
I froze. "W-wh-what?"
"They were in shoot out, at a bank. There were 3 other people killed. I'm so sorry."
I dropped the phone as I let the information sink in. I could hear Bill's voice on the phone, asking if I was all right. I picked up the phone after a minute, "Where are they?"
"Gil, I don't think you should-."
I cut him off. "Tell me where they are?"
"The bank on 3rd. It just occurred, both were dead on the scene."
I barely let him finish before I hung up the phone and raced towards the scene. The police officer raised the tape as I approached. I saw Megan, Jack, Nicole, and Dan from the Crime Lab photographing the bodies. They looked up as I wondered the scene, looking for Kate and my baby.
"Gil," Megan breathed as I walked by. She hugged me, I could feel her sob into my chest, I hugged her back as I let a tear escape my eye. "I'm so sorry," she said, pulling away from me.
I nodded.
"Come here," she took my hand in hers and led me a few yards away.
When I saw Allison and Kate lying there, I just lost it. Megan held me as I cried, not asking any questions.
Their funeral's were held a few days later, together, the way Katie would have wanted it. Hundreds of people came to pay their respects. I chose to be a paw bearer for Allison, along with Dr. Casity, Jeremy, Jack and Dan. Kate's friends were paw bearers for her. I did not cry at the funeral, or at the graveyard, or even after when everyone came to Kate's house to eat and pay their respects to me. I do cry though, every year on July 29th I cry. I cry for Katie and for my baby Allison Miranda. I have not forgotten them and I never will.
The reason I feel guilty is because I should have been with them. I should not have gone into work on my day off, I should have been with my family. I know I probably would have been dead too, but I can't help but feel guilty. So I lied to the priest when I told him that that guilt is not in me anymore. After I lost my family, I gave up my religion, began drinking, I even picked up a cigar now and then.
Exactly one month after the day my Allison would have turned 10, a man showed up and asked me to go to Las Vegas and become a CSI. I accepted it and moved soon after. So here I am, sitting at my desk in Vegas, surrounded by my bugs and fetal pig. I have no pictures of my long ago family, nothing in my office to remind me or anyone else that I actually had a family once. Catherine, the only person to whom I am close does not even know about Kate and Allison.
The only reason that I agreed to come to Vegas is so that I may continue searching for the bastards that killed my family. The robbery at the bank is still unsolved, the only thing anyone knows is that there were 3 men in ski masks with guns. They killed all of the people who weren't tellers, including the security guard.
I lift a framed photograph out of the bottom drawer of my desk. I only take it out once a year, on July 29th. Allison and Kate smile up at me. I remember taking the picture on the last day we were together at the beach. My 2 girls are lying on a sheet, each reading a book. I remember yelling 'Hey!' and when they both looked up, I snapped the picture. Although the picture does not show it, Kate was reading a new book on whales in the arctic waters and Allison was reading a book on Anatomy that Dr. Casity gave her; neither of them ever finished their books.
Today is July 29th and I have yet to cry. I know the tears will come as I lie alone in bed, thinking about how Kate and I never got to watch out baby graduate from high school or college or even elementary school. Allison once told me while I helped her scrub the autopsy table down that she wanted to be Doctor. When I asked what kind she blushed and said she wanted to be like Dr. Casity. I smiled, I knew she had a crush on him, he fresh out of medical school with the usual 2 years of working in a morgue under his belt. I knew Allison thought he was cute and now that I think back, Greg resembles him a lot.
I am torn from my memory by a knock at my door. I look up, it's Sara.
"Griss, what's up?"
"What do you mean?"
"Shift started like a half hour ago, we're waiting for assignments."
"Oh, I forgot." I replace the photograph in my desk and follow Sara to the break room. I hand out the assignments, Catherine and Warrick have a DB on the strip, Sara and Greg have a bank robbery, and Nick is working solo on a DB.
"What about you?" Sara asks, attempting to look me in the eye.
"I have paper work to do."
"You mean to tell me that you're going to do your own paper work?" Catherine asks in disbelief.
"Yes."
She gets up and walks oven to me, placing her hand on my cheek. "Well you're not running a fever, I think you should get a psych. evaluation done as soon as possible, though."
Everyone chuckles a little.
"I'm fine Cath, I just need a little time to myself so I've decided to hang back in the lab tonight, do some paper work."
"Ok, but I still think you need a psych. eval. done."
It's now 2 am and I'm still sitting in front of a computer, reviewing all of the unsolved robberies in California from the past 30 years. I only do this once a year and so far I have gotten nowhere. I see Sara come in with Greg, she sees me looking at them and looks back at me. I turn away and continue my search that is never going to lead me anywhere.
I cried yesterday like I knew I would. I made just enough dinner for me but I set places for 3. I always find myself doing this on July 29th. I cried as I cleaned my plate and place the other 2 back in the cabinet. I pulled Allison's stuffed butterfly out of the trunk I keep a the end of my bed. I help it to my chest and breathed in the scent of the perfume I gave Allison once. She sprayed Tinka, the butterfly, with it every morning and night so that she would smell good. Once every year I continue what my baby started; I pulled out that bottle of expensive perfume and spray Tinka down. The scent is of the ocean, sweet yet salty at the same time.
Now I'm back at work, back to handing Catherine and Warrick another case on top of their DB and giving myself one solo. Sara and Greg and still working on the robbery, 2 DBs and no suspects. Their running the bullets through IBIS and I manage to catch Sara's attention as I give a heavy sigh as I place 4 bullets back into evidence. I always manage to pick up these bullets on the 29th of July and sometimes on April 27th, the day they were killed. I requested these bullets from the LA County Crime Lab years ago. They allowed me to take them to Vegas because the case was cold and our lab is better than theirs.
As I walk out to start my new investigation, I hear Sara ask Bobby D. what it was that I just returned.
"He checks out the same bullets every year, mostly on July 29th, but occasionally he'll check them out on different dates, it just depends," he says.
Sara's POV
Griss walked into the Ballistics Lab a few minutes to return bullets from a cold case that he had checked out yesterday. Bobby told me about them but I want to know more. After my shift had ended I stayed behind and returned to the Ballistics Lab. The day guy was just getting in and I asked him to bring up the case to which the bullets belonged.
So it turns out that the 4 bullets were from 2 different victims in a bank robbery in LA County 21 years ago. The 2 victims were mother and daughter, Kate Nicole Calaway was the mother and Allison Miranda Calaway was the 9 year old daughter. I spent the next couple of hours doing more research. I found out that Kate Calaway was a single mother and that she was a marine biologist. Allison had just completed the 3rd grade and was at the top of all of her classes.
It was only when I pulled up their obituaries that I become shocked, but then again shocked isn't really the word. I was so freekin' dumbfounded that I must have sat in front of that computer with my mouth hanging open for like 5 minutes. When I finally got over the first wave of shock I continued reading.
The article from the paper said that Allison Miranda was survived by her 2 grandmothers: Margi Calaway and Sandra Grissom, along with her father: Gil Grissom.
I nearly fell out of my chair as I finished reading the article. I did the math and figured out that Grissom must have been 20 when Kate got pregnant and Allison was born. All of a sudden everything about Gil made sense, how he was impersonal, why he never married, why he hardly had anything to do with anyone, and why he was so freegin' depressed all of the time. A tear escaped down my cheek as I cried for Gil, he had lost more than anyone can ever imagine. He didn't just lose his family that day, he lost himself too.
I wish that I had the opportunity to meet the real Gil Grissom, the man who was probably happy because he had a daughter. I can't help but wonder what Gil must have felt when he saw his little angel lying on that cold slab in the morgue. I remember how I felt as I saw my father's body being taken away, but instead of feeling pain, I felt joy. I was happy when my father was killed because it meant that I would no longer have to fear for my life when the sun went down and the terror began.
I knew what I had to do, but how could I make him go through all of that pain again, how could I?
I snuck into his office when I was sure that no one was around. He always left his door unlocked, I mean, who would want to steal Miss Piggy besides Nick and Greg? I remembered yesterday and how down he had been, it was Allison's birthday and I figured that was who the picture was of. I didn't dare to turn on a light so instead I pulled the flashlight out of my belt where I kept it beside of my gun. The tiny light led me to Gil's desk where I began going through the drawers.
I found what I was looking for in the bottom drawer. The frame was silver and had a decorative flower engraved into one of the corners. I looked a the picture in the small frame, a girl and a woman looked a little surprised as the picture was taken. You could tell that they were on the beach and that both of them were reading books. I couldn't help but smile as I thought of what Gil's daughter must have been like. She must have loved to read, to fill her head with knowledge about the world and the things in it. She must have loved all of the weird things her father loved, she must have had a heart of gold.
Another tear escaped my eyes as I sniffled and refused to let more tears fall. I was surprised at how deep it hurt me to uncover these secrets that Gil kept. I knew I loved him weather he decided to love me back or not. I'm not much older than his daughter would have been; it makes me feel weird in a way. I wonder if I would have gotten along with Allison's mother, Kate? From the photograph I can tell that she was beautiful, kind looking in that way.
After a few more moments I replaced the photo back into the drawer and left Gil's office. I went back to working on the ballistic evidence from my case, trying to forget for a little while what I had just learned.
Grissom's POV
The case I'm working can basically be described as boring. There is a single DB, a gang banger. He was selling drugs when someone shot him in the chest twice. I put the bullets into Ballistics but haven't heard anything yet. I know I'll solve this case one way or another, it's just boring me because I don't feel anything for this young man that was murdered. He was selling drugs to kids, why should I care?
It's now August 1st and I'm starting to get back into my old routine. I need to talk to my team and make sure that everything is going well. I walk into the break room and everyone is there, talking and laughing with one another, why can't I be that happy? I notice Sara sitting in the corner of the couch, reading a file and sipping her coffee.
"Ok everyone. How is your case going Nicky?" I ask, putting on a fake small smile.
"Fine, running DNA now, I have a good feeling."
"Good. Cath and Warrick, how's it coming?"
"Well I took the original case that you gave us first. It's going well, Brass and I are going to arrest our prime suspect here in about 20 minutes."
I nod.
"I'm running fingerprints through AFIS now on the second case you gave us."
"Good. How's your bank robbery going Sara?"
"What?"
I notice she's a bit startled.
"Oh, it's going good."
"Where's Greg?" I ask.
Just then a very excited Greg comes running in; he slides as he attempts to stop. "You guys will never believe this!" he yells.
"What is it?" Sara asks eagerly, hungry for more evidence.
"Our bullets from the scene match a robbery in LA County at the National Bank 21 years ago!"
I choked on my coffee, nearly fainting. Could it be? "Give me that?" I jerk the folder Greg is holding out of his hands and read it as quickly as I can. I see my daughter's name among the list of DB from the original robbery.
I notice Sara peering over my shoulder as I finish reading the report. "I want everyone on this case now," I say as calmly as I can.
"But Griss-," Catherine says.
"I said everyone." I walk out of the room to grab my kit, I'm going back to the crime scene.
Hope you liked the first chapter, I know the first one is long and I should have broken it up but I'm afraid I won't be able to figure out how to add a new chapter so I put a lot of stuff in one. So if you liked it please please please review so that I can keep writing it. It will be Sara and Grissom later on, I think.
Also, if you have any suggestions, please send them to me. Like if you think I should go one way with the story or whatever, please let me know! Thanks 4 taking the time to read!
