This is a songfic where Mat is thinking about Tuon, after Knife of Dreams. This song always makes me think of them, so I figured I'd write this. If you want to hear it, go to d e l t a . r o / b e a t l e s / l y r i c s / p g i r l . h t m l (without the spaces). In the upper right corner, you can choose a player and hear it. No flames please, this is my first songfic!
Disclaimer: I do not own anything here, including the song.
Girl
By Summerstar042
Is there anybody going to listen to my story,
all about the girl who came to stay...
Mat sighed... she was gone. After all that, after she had finally bloody married him, she was gone. Back, off to her flaming Seanchan to be their precious Daughter of Nine Moons once more.
She's the kind of girl you want so much it makes you sorry,
Still you don't regret a single day.
Ah, girl, girl...
Girl, girl...
She had so different from any other girl he had ever known before, so unlike any girl he had ever fancied... Normally he was able to get girls to at least kiss him by the end of a single night, but after all that he wasn't even sure she liked him, let alone loved him. But... he loved her. He loved her, the light burn him for it! Of all the girls he'd ever kissed, it had to be her that he'd fallen in love with. He thought he might die if anything ever happened to her. ...Yet, she said she'd married him for the good of her country. And what flaming good did marrying him do her bloody country, anyway?
When I think of all the times I tried so hard to leave her...
He had had so many opportunities to just let her go... why hadn't he? Maybe then, he could have just forgotten about her, moved on, done as he had before... Why hadn't he just tied her up and left her in the stables when he'd first discovered who she was, had first called her his wife? Why had he had to bring her with him? ...There were many pretty barmaids in the Inn where he was currently sitting, yet the thought of them just made him think of her, whom he'd so much rather have, whom he may never see again...
She will turn to me and start to cry.
Well, she had certainly never been one to be prone to crying. And perhaps because of that, Mat knew he would have done almost anything in the world for her had he ever seen even a trace of a tear. She might even have pretended to cry in front of him, he thought with a wry smile, just to get something she wanted. Somehow, and burn him if he knew how, she would have known what her crying would have done to him... And it would have been just like her to use it against him, if all else failed. Though, of course, with her, all else very rarely failed.
And she promises the earth to me and I believe her,
After all this time I don't know why.
Ah, girl, girl...
Girl, girl...
Promises... much of the beginning of their, for lack of a better word, relationship, had been built on promises. He had promised to protect her, not to hurt her, to buy her clothes and eventually to send her home. She had promised not to escape, to obey him (to a point), and not to turn his friends against him. He hadn't really trusted her to keep these promises in the beginning, had felt that only a fool would have, but now... Now, if she were to promise him the world, he felt sure that eventually he would get it. He didn't even know why he trusted her word so... he wouldn't have said she was always completely and utterly honest, though he didn't think he could say she had ever actually lied, so that couldn't be it. It could be that she had, in fact, kept her promises to him, but even that couldn't be enough to elicit the faith he felt in her word...
She's the kind of girl who
puts you down when friends are there
you feel a fool!
She had never been afraid to speak her mind about him or his actions to his face, even if her thoughts weren't exactly complimentary. And she had been the same with every- and anyone else, as well. Even Selucia, who one might at first think was her friend, trusted with her life and cared for like a sister... more than a sister, actually, thought Mat with a sad smile as he reflected that he had once heard that she had had one or two of her true sisters assassinated. But even Selucia he had seen the deceptively small woman so soundly reprimand that her servant stared at the ground and avoided speaking for entire days, and then seemed unnecessarily careful afterwards.
When you say she's looking good,
she acts as if it's understood,
she's cool, cool, ooh, ooh!...
Girl, girl...
Girl, girl...
Attempting to woo her was not quite like trying to woo anyone else... with a grimace, Mat thought of what might have happened had he told her how pretty she was. She very likely would have done one of two things: ignored the sentiment as if he had simply been stating the obvious, or hit him. Either way, he doubted she would have thought it much of a complement.
Was she told when she was young that fame would lead to pleasure?
What was so good about being the bloody Daughter of Nine Moons, anyway? All it meant was that one day she would have to be the Empress, which in Mat's view was only worse. He always hated nobles anyway, and Royalty was even worse. And she was definitely Royal; more, she expected him to remember it!
Did she understand it when they said,
that a man must break his back to earn his day of leisure?
She hadn't truly ever had to do work, not it the sense that he was thinking. Oh, he was sure that all her lessons and Daughter of Nine Moons things had been difficult, not to mention all the plotting and politics (the last just one of the reasons he hated nobles). But she had never spent a day chopping wood, only to have to haul it a safe spot until it was needed and know that she would have to do the same tomorrow. Never had to toil in a hot and stuffy kitchen to prepare a meal she might not even get to share in. Despite everything, Mat still thought of himself as a farmer, and he knew what work was. Real, hard physical work was not something she had ever done... the Daughter of Nine Moons had servants for that sort of thing. Did she even understand what it was her servants did everyday? Somehow, he doubted it.
Will she still believe it when he's dead?
Ah, girl, girl...
Girl, girl...
Yes, she had certainly killed before. Mat had no idea whether she had ever killed with her own two hands, but she would not hesitate to decide that a man, or even a woman deserved death. And once they were dead, Mat doubted she ever thought of them again.
Ah, girl, girl...
Girl, girl...
Yes, she was definitely different from any girl he had ever known before. Just to demonstrate that, she would quite possibly kill him if he were to ever call her a girl to her face. He chuckled softly at that.
And now, she was gone. He loved her, and she was gone. Would he ever even see her again? Well, he thought, he was ta'veren. Perhaps he would be able to pull the pattern in such a way that they could meet again, eventually.
Oh, Tuon... he thought, picturing the petite woman in his mind, you have no idea what you've done to me... Foolishly in love like this was not the way he had ever pictured himself ending up.
Girl, girl...
