Auron never seemed to like to stay too close to people, whether it was because he might be wary of the possibility that his unsent identity would be discovered, or maybe he just like to keep to his own. Lulu made a cup of warm drink for him, hoping to block out any frost that might have gathered from Mt. Gagazet, or from something else much colder than the freezing wind of that mountain.
He declined her offer, and told her that he would just like to take a walk outside to enjoy a little wind which always managed to calm him and clear his mind. Lulu never pushed on, and she sort of regretted a bit now. If only she had realized sooner.
That night when he stood out there watching the stars, for the first time in life, Lulu found difficulties in starting a conversation. She would not say she was shocked about his unsent status, but rather felt a heavy disappointment which came down on her hard. It was the same feeling she got everytime she managed to get something which she wished wasn't right right. She suspected, she analyzed and then she pushed it aside, bearing a little hope that she would be wrong for once. But she failed.
She was at a loss for words, she didn't know what to say. Auron knew she was there and he wouldn't initiate, it annoyed her a little, for he knew very well she wanted to talk.
Lulu stood beside him and looked up to the sky that had his attention for the whole night, slowly she felt herself calmed down, now she was ready to talk.
"I'm not too surprised."
She wouldn't look at him, and continue to look up into the night sky, waiting for him to continue.
"I don't expect you to be."
Then why don't you tell me?
Words choked at her throat, and all she could do was to stare at him with an expression the mixture of anger and sadness. Her brows frowned deeply and her fist clenched, but very soon she found her strength flowing out of her.
What difference would it make?
Lulu looked away, her focus drifting everywhere, anywhere, as long as it was not on him. Her sights finally decided to rest onto his empty sleeve that was flowing carelessly along with the cooling night breeze. As if acting on instinct, she lifted her hand slowly and tried to touch him.
Her hand stopped at exactly five inches away from him.
Auron didn't move. Maybe he refused to, maybe he was hesitating, Lulu wouldn't know. She wanted to touch him, to feel him and tell him, or maybe to tell herself, that he was still here and as alive as anyone else. But Lulu couldn't bring her hand any more closer to him.
If they had touched, the separation would be even more unbearable.
Lulu once thought she should have gotten used to separation, and only to realize maybe she had not when she met Lady Ginnem again. Would she be able to let him go after she got the feel of him? Lulu wouldn't dare to answer.
Lulu did not realized that Auron had switched his attention onto her till she was pulled back into the current reality by his voice.
"Lulu, nobody in this world has the right to take happiness away from anyone."
She still wouldn't look at him. He had said it, the consequences that both of them would have to bear should they touched. Lulu never knew the five inch distance between them could be the furthest and most unattainable distance in the world. The distance between life and death, the past and the future.
They were like parallel lines, they would only walk along with each other and never meet.
He was there and she was here. They could see each other and they would not be able to touch each other.
Lulu looked down, allowing her thick curtain of fringe to hide her expressions from him. It was then Auron began to move closer, his lips near her ear, so near she could almost feel his breathing that was supposed to be nonexistent. Yet a slight distance still stood between them, they were close and yet not touching each other.
All his life, he had been making promises and keeping them. Now was finally the time he would make someone promise him something.
His voice was low and soft, expressing the uncertain feeling that had been floating inbetween them to her and only her. Something that Lulu would remember forever for the rest of her life. The night when the distance disappeared, the night when the love ended the moment it began.
"Promise me, that you will live on with a smile."
