What it's like to be an outsider

She was always quite… Even growing up. Rarely did she ever leave her home to play with the other children around the neighborhood. Her parents felt pressured to bring her to child psycology which only trampled her self esteem even more. She wasn't particularly pretty nor did she have the "perfect body" but she dealt with it herself. There was always that feeling inside of her that would tell her that she wasn't good enough; that she should just give up. Since she was so lonely these symptoms began to show to her parents and she was diagnosed with major depression. Before it was just the thought of, "Oh I'm just quiet, I like to be alone…" and now it was more of the fact that there was something wrong with her. Something that made it hard for her to be happy. Unlike the regular people with depression at least they kind of had friends to look out for them. She was completely on her own.

Throughout middle school she was always that girl that no one pegged as weird. She was not the outcast. There were people that in fact reached out to her but she never wanted to grab hold of them; when she did it came soon to learn that they could not truly make her smile. They could not help her to forget about what was wrong with her. So she again let herself drift off, away from everyone as they slowly watched her from the background fall into a void.

It wasn't soon before teachers began to notice her odd behavior. She wasn't "like" the other kids in class. Even when she was given the opportunity to work with her classmates she never took upon it, instead she wanted to work by herself. Teachers found it quite necessary for a child to be able to have working skill with classmates so there was times when she was forced into a group.

It was the same thing every time. They sit in a circle. They leave a space just barley big enough for her to scoot in close, but they were careful not to let her in too close. The space was also small enough to show her bluntly how much they didn't want her there. Eventually she learned how to "work" with others. She would get a part of the project and do it herself and when the group needed it she would give it to them.

In her 8th grade year her parents thought that it would be a good idea to send her to a boarding school for highschool. It would force her to open up to people and they figured that she would eventually warm up to her classmates. Why they thought this she is still bewildered. They weren't completely wrong… But they weren't right either.

She ended up flying over seas to a school just on the coast of the ocean. There she brought with her two suitcases. One filled with clothes, the other filled with a small computer for writing, a sketch pad for drawing, and books to keep her company when her new classmates realized how much of a freak she really was.

After the opening ceremony she noticed that all of the people from her new classes already began to go into clicks. Not that she minded. She was handed a small sheet of paper revealing the street of the campus, the building and the room that she was in. It was a girls dormitory of course. She lived on Pearl Street on the corner of White Avenue, which was the main street that the school buildings were on. She lived in building number 35, on the 1st floor, which was more like the basement floor, in dorm number 15. There she roomed with one girl. One girl whom was obviously late.

She unlocked the door to her room and proceeded in. She figured that the girl would have friends so it would be easier to give her the bed closer to the door for easy access. She took the corner bed and claimed her desk and dresser. After placing all of her folded clothes into the drawers she began to set up her station at the desk. She placed the books that were on the rack slightly to the side of where the computer was set to go and slit her drawing utensils into a drawer below. She took out an ipod and headphones and placed them on the back corner and got out a single picture of her, her mother and her father sliding it in the mirror above her dresser between the glass and the frame. After looking at the empty side of the room she hopped that her roommate would never show. So she then sat at her desk and opened her computer. She began to type. There was no for sure knowing of what it was going to end up being but she hoped that-..

The door behind her opened slowly, "Hello..?" A higher pitched voice called in, "Is anyone home?" the girl said with a giggle as she entered with two more bags than she had originally packed for herself, "It's so quiet in here.." she said sheepishly looking around and spotting her roommate sitting at the desk, "I'm sorry, did I disturb you...?" She asked.

She shook her head and proceeded to stand in front of her desk to greet the girl.

"Thank goodness… " She said with a relieved smile, " My name is Rhythmi.." she said cocking her head to one side and holding out her hand to the other girl.

She stared down at it blankly not knowing how to speak. It was like she had completely forgotten how to use her vocal chords and how to mover her lips to produce words. It took her a moment before finally uttering out, "…kate…" Fairly quietly as she raised her hand to shake the blonde's.

"Kate?" She said leaning forward slightly, "That's a pretty name! I'm glad that we're roommates, I think that we'll be really good friends, you and I." She said turning slightly to toss her bags onto her bed. Kate nodded going back to what she was doing. She knew that girl wouldn't want to stay in there with her for a minute longer. It was just a matter of time before she left, "Hey, Kate… Sorry to leave you all of the sudden but I have to go call my mom.. She's a lunatic if I don't call right away. I'll be back so don't go anywhere!' She called as she left the dorm room.

Don't go anywhere? Where would she go…? She wasn't coming back anyway, she was probably off with her other friends. Kate continued type on her computer like she usually did there was really nothing more to it. Down the hall she could hear trampling, it sounded like people were running through the halls. Soon it stopped and three deep voices emerged from behind the walls of the hall way.

"Which room is she in?"

"This one I think…"

"All these doors look the same!"

"You check that one, I'll check the one down the other hall."

Soon the voices went quiet after hearing their feet scamper off.

It had been 5 minutes since her roommate left… Not that she cared or anything. Not that she was awaiting her arrival.

Suddenly her dorm room door was kicked open and slammed shut. A boy with short red hair bursted in, "h-Hey…!" He muttered out of breath. Kate just stared at him not saying a word, not wanting to associate with him, "Have you seen a girl…? Not that you aren't a girl… But a blonde girl… About your height… Maybe shorter.. Her name is-"

"Rhythmi…" she said cutting him off with a resting emotionless face, "she's on the phone with her mom." She replied turning back around in her chair and turning back to the computer.

The boy looked around at the room and walked over to the girl at the desk not wanting to seem nosey but trying to sneak a quick peak at what she was doing on the computer. He then proceeded to walk around the room and take a seat on her bed, " So you're blondie's new roommate?" He asked casually trying to strike up a conversation. Kate nodded continuing to type without hesitation. The boy nodded, "What's the matter? Do you not know how to talk?" He asked bluntly.

Kate stopped typing for a moment and look down at the key board. For a moment she had no idea what to say, besides why was he still there, " It's not that I don't like to talk it's more that I don't usually talk to people." She muttered, "I like to keep it that way." She added slowly closing her computer and sliding out her phone.

The boys eyes widened as he swiped the phone away from her, "Oh good! You're not a total weirdo! Here…" He muttered pressing the buttons continuously on the phone. When he handed it back to her the contact name read "Keith Sunn." She looked up at him and put on a confused look, "You look smart. Maybe we can study together. The only smart kid in our group gets kinda sassy…" He muttered standing up from her bed, "Well anyway it was nice meeting you, tell Blondie to text me when she gets back, kay?" Kate slowly nodded and continued to look down at the phone contact. The only one she ever texted was her parents… She had just met this kid and he gave her his number so casually…

Kate jumped up onto her bed and laid pack holding the pillow on her chest while she looked up at her phone. Outside of the hallway she heard a voice, "Okay mom… Yeah I know.. Love you too…" and an entrance into her room, "Oh good you're still here! Sorry that took so long… I ran into a couple of friends while I was talking…" She muttered sitting down with a humph of breath onto her bed. "Apparently they're having a party… Of course since they're upperclassmen they already know the ropes around here.." She said silencing when her phone beeped with a message. She read it with a smile and looked over at Kate, "come with me.. I'll be the only freshman there… Besides, I want to get to know you better…!" She said with a smile.

Kate looked at her and sighed.. It was another week before school had even started so what was the harm besides being completely bored the entire night.

It took her roommate a while to get unpacked but she didn't mind much she was able to play her new pokemon game while waiting. It was around 6:00 p.m and the party invite had said 9.. Three hours to kill.

"C'mon! It's time to get ready!" Rhythmi said with an exhausted look on her face.

"Kate looked down at her outfit. A pair of black leggings and an Adventure Time tee shirt. "I'll put my hair up later…" She mumbled when a hand grabbed her wrist.

"You can't go like that!" She said, "This is a Junior party! We gotta look the part!"

After a couple hours of boredom trying to get ready Kate threw a peach button down shirt to her, "At least change to this and leave your hair down.." She muttered with a small smile. Kate tossed on a sweat shirt and a black beanie to cover up her hair. She continued to grab her small backpack with her DS and Cell phone along with other things she might have needed. She met with Rhythmi at the door and remained silent. As the two walked she stuffed her hands into her pockets and walked alongside the blond haired girl. Kate looked down at the ground like she usually did and walked slightly behind the other girl as they remained silent. She could feel the girl beside her starting to get a little awkward with the silence. She wanted to stop it but she wasn't sure how to keep a conversation going with someone. She barley had conversation with her own family she had no idea how to talk to someone else.. A…. "Friend"…

It took them a few blocks to get there and it was getting dark as well. They found themselves arriving at the junior dorm Rhythmi stopped at the bottom of the steps. Kate looked back at her as she continued to walk on, "Well… Are we going in or not…" She said slightly unamused. She really just wanted to get it over with. Get in and get out. Rhythmi nodded and slowly followed her up the steps as she got out her phone beginning to start a text to let the others know that they were there.

As soon as the two walked in Rhythmi saw a couple of old friends and strayed from Kate. Now she could finally just find a quiet place to sit and relax while she waited for Rhythmi to want to leave. She found a spot near the back of the room and sat herself down in the corner placing her bag on her lap. She took out her phone and stared at her contact list. "Keith" The only contact in her phone besides "Home". What was she even going to use it for.. She wasn't going to call him, no chance… She proceeded to play the small games on her phone and kept to herself.

She had been there for what seemed like forever, in reality it had only been about twenty minutes. It was only a matter of time before a slightly familiar voice came stuttering up to her, "Kate! Hey!" The red haired boy said waving her down, "I've been waiting for a call all day! Why didn't you at least text me.." He muttered taking a seat in front of her.

" Why should I." She muttered continuing to look down at the stupid game on her phone. Why did he even want to make contact with her.

"Well.. I thought I could get to know you better." He mumbled scratching the back of his head.

Kate kept silent and turned her phone off stuffing it into her backpack, "parties aren't really my thing." She said getting ready to stand up, "Neither are people." She added quickly taking a step forward, "I didn't even want to come to this stupid party anyway… Rhythmi made me… When will you guys get the hint that you won't want to be around me…" She said taking a few steps away.

He sat there and shook his head reaching out for her hand, "Hey!-… Just… Stay for an hour… That's all, if you don't like it then I'll walk Rhythmi home just leave the door unlocked." He muttered standing behind her.

"And if, on the very small chance, that I do enjoy myself…?" She asked turning her head to the side.

"And if you do like it then I want you to call me and tell me that you were wrong. Besides, they haven't even brought the drinks around. The Alumni guys that are our caretakers are getting it for us. My brother went to school with them so they're soft on me." He said with a cocky grin as he rubbed the back of his head, "I know we're underaged but the school says as long as we're chaperoned for these parties, which we are, they won't have to check in on us… They don't suspect it at all!" He said with a small chuckle.

Kate remained silent. Alcohol…? She was only 15…she had another six years and as for them they had another four or five… But she nodded along with his idea, in an hour she'd be able to leave and wouldn't have to bother with them ever again. Except for the fact that she roomed with Rhythmi but that wouldn't matter, it's not like she didn't already know how to keep to herself. She just had to pretend like she wasn't there. Keith kept a tight grip on Kate's hand and dragged her along with him as he joined Rhythmi and two other boys.

"Oh! Kate! Guys this is my new roommate!" Rhythmi announced, ''The blonde one is Isaac, and the taller dark haired guy is Kellyn, I see you already met Keith." She said with a smile.

"We had a bit of a run in when I was looking you." He muttered. Nudging Kate with his arm.

"It's… nice to meet all of you…" She said quietly. What was the point of this anyway… She felt like she wanted to cry… There was too much going on and she didn't want to be there anymore.

"So Kate." The Blonde boy asked, "What classes are you taking?"

She shrugged and lied, "Mostly freshman courses…" In reality she was taking a lot of classes with the junior class. She didn't want to seem like too much of a loser.

"Where are ya from?" Kellyn asked slouching over to make eye contact with her which made her fairly uncomfortable.

"W-Where am I from…?" She muttered to herself, why do they want to know, "Uhm… Kalos…" She muttered. ' I just want to go back to the dorm…"

Only about a half hour later into their conversation that she felt so uncomfortable being apart of did the drinks finally arrive. Keith went off and grabbed five Beers handing them out to each of them in the group. Kate took it and opened it but didn't drink any of it as she watched everyone else down theirs.

I hate parties.. I don't even want to be here… I just want to go back and go to sleep. I know that we don't have class but I'd much rather be by myself than with these people.

The party, like every party with high schoolers and alcohol involved began to get out of hand. Keith and the other three boys saw that it was spiraling down and they began to push on Kate and Rhythmi out of the dorm house.

"What are you guys doing?" Rhythmi said slightly buzzed, "The party isn't over..!" She whined ad Kellyn carried her on his back.

"We don't want you guys getting in trouble… It won't be long before people start complaining about the noise…" Keith muttered putting his arm around Kate's shoulders.

He thinks he can do that?! He doesn't even know me! If he thinks that he's going to get something out of being nice to me for a day it isn't going to work… I've gone through enough that one day of niceness doesn't apply for anything… I refuse to call him. I refuse to text him. I never want to have to talk to these people again.

I just want to go home… With that last thought, it wasn't soon before her eyes began to water and a dark cloud began to come over her mind reminding her of the family that she would be leaving behind to spend the next year with these people…