Sad Clown

Sad Clown

Author's note: This is one of my favorite songs. It's by Jars of Clay from their CD: If I Left the Zoo. The characters are of course, owned by either JK Rowling or Warner Brothers, take your pick. All I own is the story.

Snape walks down the hall, passing student after student. He looks up and sees, about ten feet away, Lily Evans.

"Hey Lily," says Severus with a sheepish smile.

"Oh, hi," she answers, then goes back to a conversation with her friends and brushes past.

Say how's the weather,

So I look out the window

To brighten my soul

But I can't control

The rain that keeps fallin

Severus Snape had been spending the last week working up the courage to do what he was about to do. He walks toward Lily from across the Great Hall.

"Um, Lily?" he asks, his voice shaking.

"Yeah Sev?" Lily answers, though not paying much attention.

"Um, I was wondering, um, if you would, err, go to the ball with me?"

"Oh I'm really sorry Sev, I'm already going with James Potter."

"Oh, well that's ok, I'll just ask someone else I guess," Severus says, fighting to keep the hurt out of his voice.

Smile on the outside

that never comes in

The graduation ceremony. Severus looks over at Lily Evans and James Potter. A tear trickles down his face. Wiping it away, he walks over to them.

"Congratulations," he says, looking at Lily,

"You too," says James and leads Lily away.

A comedy, mystery, irony, tragedy

So I scream

"Let the show begin"

Severus looks at the wedding cake. Little figurines of James and Lily sit on top. He reaches toward the groom and-

"Hey Sev," says Lily, "Glad you could come."

"The entire grad level was invited," he replies, withdrawing his hand and turning toward Lily, "Why should I be the only one to miss it?"

"Still, thanks for coming." She looks at him straight in the eye and smiles. Music begins to play and Lily hurries over to her waiting father for the procession.

You break me open

Turn on the light

Stumble inside

with me, with me

Severus is sitting; reading. The Dark Mark burns on his arm. He gets up and pulls out his wand, ready to apparate. A face enters is mind: Lily. What would she think of him now? She would hate him, just like before.

Do I entertain you?

Do I preoccupy you

with my wit

to cover this lie

Are you mesmerized?

Severus walks into the school. Where is he? He searches all over the school, then a figure approaches.

"Severus Snape!" says Dumbledore, "What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you," Severus answers, "badly."

"Alright, into my office.'

Do you think me faithful?

Do you think me a clown?

Severus and James are pretending to fight in a raging battle. When one curse comes a bit too close to Severus, he glares at James.

"We're on the same team remember?" whispers Severus harshly.

"Don't give me a reason to forget," replies James.

"What do you mean by that?" asks Severus, turning red with anger.

"Stay away from her Snape."

I picked out this shirt

I put on this hat

I wore all this paint

Just for you

Severus appears, suddenly, in Godric's Hollow. He's too late. He runs over to the ruins of the potters' house. He turns and sees Lily's body and hurries over to it.

Severus begins t check for any sign of life. A pulse, breathing, anything. But he knows already. He breaks down and cries over Lily's body.

You break me open

Turn on the light

Stumble inside

with me, with me

Severus is sitting in the funeral service, listening to Remus Lupin talk about Lily and James. When Lupin finishes, they open the coffins. Starting with James.

Severus looks at the body with a sneer, but his attitude soon fades. Lily's casket is opened. Severus stands up and leaves the room.

You break me open

Turn on the light

Stumble inside

with me, with me