Aubrey stared out her glass. She was starting to lose track of how many drinks she had. This was either her third or fourth. Getting drunk by yourself, she thought to herself, well that's depressing. She looked around. Everyone else in the bar had someone. Most were watching the game. The rest were couples, getting drunk before tonight's round of debauchery. Aubrey was the only person who was there alone. Well, there was someone else getting drunk alone.
Aubrey didn't know her real name, but she was the person who handed out rape whistles. She sat next to Aubrey, guzzling down shot after shot. "You should slow down," said Aubrey.
"Your one to talk," said Rape Whistle Girl.
"True," said Aubrey. "Out of curiosity, what's your name?"
"Alice."
"Alice," said Aubrey. "We always called you Rape Whistle Girl."
"It's better than the other names they call me," said Alice. "All because I make sure people can call for help when they're getting raped."
"Could be worse," said Aubrey. "I got humiliated on national television."
"I saw that," said Alice. "At least you've got the Bellas. I've got nothing."
"That can't be true," said Aubrey.
"You know how I have to say 'Don't blow it unless it's actually happening'?" said Alice. "Well a while ago the university wanted to see if people were blowing the whistles when they weren't actually getting raped. So they asked me to go around and ask people about their whistle use. Guess what we found out?"
"What?" said Aubrey.
"That I have enough free time to go around and ask people about their whistle use," said Alice.
"There, there." Aubrey hugged Alice. "I always use my whistle appropriately."
"Thanks," said Alice.
"You know what, being part of the Bellas isn't that great," said Aubrey. "No one respects me, everybody blames me for losing last year, and I don't even have time for a boyfriend."
"At least you have an excuse," said Alice. "I can't get a boyfriend no matter how hard I try."
"Really?" said Aubrey.
"Yes," said Alice.
"I mean you've got a great body."
"Thanks," said Alice. "You aren't too bad yourself."
"Thank you," said Aubrey.
"If I were gay, I would totally be on top of you right now," said Alice.
"Same here," said Aubrey. "I guess that's too bad for you."
"That good?" said Alice.
"I haven't heard any complaints," said Aubrey.
"I thought you didn't have time for a boyfriend?" said Alice.
"You don't need two people to have sex," said Aubrey.
"I think you do," said Alice.
"Let's agree to disagree," said Aubrey.
"Here's an idea," said Alice. "Let's go to the parking lot and see if you're really that good."
"You want to have sex?" said Aubrey.
"Yep," said Alice
"I thought you weren't gay?"
"I'm not," said Alice. "I just want to test your abilities. Are you game?"
Aubrey pushed Alice against the hood of her car. "Don't you want to get inside at least?" said Alice. "Someone might see use."
"That's what makes it fun," said Aubrey.
"Kinky," said Alice.
Aubrey took off Alice's blouse and was now fumbling with her bra. "No wonder I can never get to second base."
At that moment Aubrey heard someone cough. "Hey Aubrey." It was Beca.
"Hey Beca," said Aubrey. "I was just helping Alice find her keys."
"Are they in her bra?" said Beca.
"They might," said Aubrey. "You never know."
"Here they are." Alice pulled her keys out of her pocket. "Now I can get into my car."
"They're always in the last place you look," said Aubrey.
Beca walked off and Aubrey ran after her. "Hey, Beca. It's not what it looks like."
"So you weren't trying to find her keys?" said Beca.
"Then it is what it looks like," said Aubrey.
"Look Aubrey, I'm not gonna tell anyone," said Beca. "Just, you're supposed to make out in the car, not on it. Protip for next time."
"I will," said Aubrey. She walked back to the car. Alice was sitting in the back of her car. Aubrey got in and started kissing Alice again, but not as passionately as before.
After a while Alice looked to Aubrey. "Do you still want to...?"
"No," said Aubrey.
"So the mood's dead?" said Alice.
"Kinda," said Aubrey. "Look, the Bellas are doing morning practice tomorrow, and I sorta need to be there."
"I get it," said Alice. "I've got a meeting tomorrow. We're trying to make sure people know how to use the rape whistles."
"See you around," said Aubrey.
"Just one thing," said Alice.
"What?" said Aubrey.
Alice took off her bra. "What do you think?"
"The Bellas don't really need me," said Aubrey as she buried her face into Alice's breasts.
