Ritsuka glared out the window, the sun shining in lighting his desk, it burned his eyes. Oh how he hated the sun… stop, wait… would the old Ritsuka hate the sun? Probably not… that meant that this Ritsuka couldn't hate it either… his mother was counting on him. Ritsuka loved the sun, at least that is what he told himself now… he just had to be like the old Ritsuka, and he had to help his mother…
"Hey… Ritsuka-kun…." Whispered Yuiko leaning across her desk to talk to him, making a few girls in the class whisper rude things about the pair and glare at her for making noise.
"…. Yes… Yuiko?" breathed Ritsuka scowling at her for attracting attention.
"Can we please please please play after school?" she begged holding up her hands under her chin as though to make her begging more official, at least that's how Ritsuka took it, or maybe the girl was just trying to be cute… It didn't impress Ritsuka, it didn't attract him to her at all. He seemed to be lost in thought.
"Soubi could come too." Yuiko offered, knowing at once that this would win over Ritsuka.
Apparently this made the change to Ritsuka's attitude that was needed to make him agree to hanging out with her and Yayoi after school. "…Okay… we can play after school… Yuiko."
"Hooray!" Yuiko stood up and… rather shouted… everyone turned to look at her and Hitome-sensei stopped talking to look at the large-breasted pink-haired girl. Yuiko blushed and dropped back into her seat looking at the desk. Ritsuka didn't know why she was embarrassed, seeing as this same event occurred on almost a weekly basis.
Hitome cleared her throat and continued teaching. Leaving Ritsuka able to think about Soubi… the rest of the lesson.
"What should we do today Ritsuka-kun? Yayoi-kun?" she asked skipping backwards so she could look at the two boys.
Yayoi started to list off things that they could do, Ritsuka looked past Yuikos shoulder at the doors to the school, and the gate just beyond, where Soubi was waiting for him. Soubi…
"I will go get Soubi." He interrupted Yayoi and started towards the door shoving it open with his shoulder. He was greeted by a blast of icy winter air. How did the sun not cut through the bone-chilling cold? It was still shining in his eyes, blinding him practically. He gasped and wrapped his scarf tighter around his neck running across the school grounds to the gate, that was where Soubi would be…
Soubi stood there, right where Ritsuka knew he would be, leaning against the wall hands in his pockets, his eyes closed, his glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose. At the sound of Ritsuka's feet pounding on the ground, Soubi opened his eyes and looked towards the open gate, "Ritsuka." He greeted coolly standing up straight, looking at the boy, watching the breath steam from his mouth, and the slight shiver, He noted the way Ritsuka quivered when his name came off of Soubi's lips.
"Soubi." Ritsuka said, walking over to the older man and looking up at his face. "Yuiko is wondering if we can play with her and Yayoi"
Soubi had bent down so his face was inches from Ritsukas, "Not today." He breathed, the steam from his breath mixing with the steam from Ritsuka's, "We can't play with them today."
"Wha- Why?" asked Ritsuka blushing.
"Because… it is time for you to give me a straight answer, and I want to be with you alone." Said Soubi standing straighter and resting his arm over Ritsuka's shoulder, he felt a satisfying quiver roll up Ritsukas spine, he then began leading the boy away from the school.
Ritsuka was blushing and he bit his lip frowning at the ground, he liked to pretend he didn't know what 'answer' Soubi was talking about. But he knew exactly what he was talking about, and he knew the answer. Ritsuka, was just very embarrassed to give the answer.
Soubi watched the boy from the side of his eye, he already had everything about Ritsuka memorized, the expression on his face when Soubi embarrassed him, How he walked, and smiled, and the way that he showed excitement. There was one thing… one simple thing that Soubi didn't see enough of.
Ritsuka's smile. The expression that was so rarely on that beautiful face.
Ritsuka looked over at Soubi and blushed more when they made eye contact, "What are we going to do at the park Soubi?" he asked quietly.
"Whatever you want… Ritsuka." He felt the shudder roll down the boys spine and saw it run through the boys arms, and he was satisfied for a moment.
Ritsuka looked up at Soubi, his cheeks hot and red, "We should… just... talk…." He whispered, was that his voice shaking?
Soubi smiled and brushed the hair from Ritsuka's eyes, making Ritsuka blush even more, "Of course master…."
A jolt like electricity ran through Ritsuka's body, "DON'T CALL ME THAT!" He shouted shoving Soubi's arm off of his shoulder and stepping away, glaring at the man.
Soubi looked taken aback for a few seconds, he then regained composure, "As you wish… Ritsuka."
Ritsuka blushed and glared at the ground, shoving his hands into his pockets.
"I love you Ritsuka."
Ritsukas breath caught in his throat, "Shut up. No you don't." he said coldly, "Why do you lie to me? Is it funny to you, Soubi?" he looked up and glared at Soubi, "Because… it really. Isn't funny to me."
"But Ritsuka… I am not lying to you…"
"Shut up Soubi. Seimei told you to tell me that you loved me…"
Soubi winced at the name, "No… that's not it… not anymore." Why couldn't the boy understand this? Why didn't Ritsuka trust Soubi's feelings for him?
'because that was true….once'
"How could I know that? How can you prove that?" Ritsuka challenged.
Soubi leaned towards Ritsuka, "What do you want me to do ma- Ritsuka?"
Ritsuka blushed and turned his face away from Soubi. "You are the one needed to prove it, not me. So you will have to figure it out."
Soubi smirked, "I can do that… Ritsuka." He draped an arm over Ritsukas shoulders, "But I am afraid it would embarrass you if we did it in a park."
"SOUBI! That's disgusting." Said Ritsuka shrugging the older mans arm off.
"You never know…" said Soubi quietly, resting his arm on Ritsukas shoulder again. "You. Haven't tried it. Maybe it feels good…" He said, in a matter-of-fact sort of way.
Ritsuka blushed and kept walking, his brow furrowed, "That isn't even real love… its just… lust."
Soubi noted how his question went unanswered, and watched Ritsuka frowning, "Why do you think that I would lie about something this serious…." He stated quietly, "I wouldn't do that. It'd be very cruel Ritsuka."
Ritsuka winced, "That's why I want you to stop saying such things… Soubi." He rasped.
Soubi stopped and jerked Ritsuka around, kneeling down, "I'm not lying Ritsuka." He said leaning closer to Ritsuka's face, "I'm not lying to you about this. I love you Ritsuka."
Ritsuka's eyes flashed with hurt and he scowled, turning his face away from Soubi, "Why do you say this?" he accused.
Soubi turned Ritsuka's face to his, "I'm not lying, Ritsuka." He said quietly, almost pleading. He leaned forward brushing his lips against Ritsuka's trembling ones, "Please believe me."
Ritsuka gasped and shoved Soubi away, "Why are you such a jerk?" he asked desperately, his cheeks red with embarrassment, and his voice layered with disgust, but his eyes showing something else completely.
Soubi pulled away from Ritsuka and pulled his fingers through his hair irritably. He reached for his phone and opened it, "Oh. Kio needs me home." He said dryly. He turned away from Ritsuka and started walking.
Ritsuka knew that Soubi was lying. Soubi always lied to him. He promised he wouldn't lie, but they were empty promises. Ritsuka knew that Soubi's phone hadn't even gone off. He was just being mean… just lying to Ritsuka like he always did.
Soubi kept walking, acting like he didn't care, but the fact Ritsuka hadn't called him back yet was starting to worry him.
Ritsuka shifted his weight, hearing the snow crunch under his feet at the pressure change. 'why am I thinking about that right now?' He bit his lip and waited a few more seconds, but it was hard to watch Soubi walk away like that… "Soubi wait." He said running forward to close the space between them. "Please… don't leave." He said quietly looking at his feet, his cheeks more red than they were before. "Can't we… do something?"
Soubi could keep a slight smile off of his face, Ritsuka had stopped him, Ritsuka would always stop him. "I dunno… Do you love me Ritsuka?"
Ritsuka looked up at Soubi, his eyes showed the answer, but his tongue said something else, "I… no… Soubi you are a boy…" his cheeks were reddening more with every word. "That wouldn't be right…"
"Then I have to go. Unless you tell me the truth, Ritsuka."
Ritsuka looked down at the ground, "mngghh.."
"What was that Ritsuka? I couldn't… hear you." Said Soubi quietly lowering down to Ritsuka's level so that when the boy looked up, to admit it… Soubi would be right there.
"I… Yes… I love you." Ritsuka whispered unwillingly, lifting his chin to look at Soubi, who he was surprised to find right in front of him.
Soubi took Ritsuka's face in his hands, "I know." Soubi brushed his lips against Ritsuka's, feeling a shiver run through the boy, and enjoying that he could make Ritsuka shiver, by touching lips alone. Soubi didn't even consider this to be a real kiss. He could hardly imagine what he could get Ritsuka to do by really trying. "What do you want to do Ritsuka?" he asked softly.
Soubi's breath misted across Ritsuka's cheek, it was so warm and comforting, and Ritsuka wanted to trust the words that Soubi said to him, but it was all a lie. Soubi wouldn't love him. Ritsuka wasn't worth it. How could Ritsuka ever be worth it? His own mother didn't even love him, and even Seimei had lied… Seimei had faked his own death and left Ritsuka all alone. That's how much Seimei had wanted to get away from Ritsuka… why would anyone else want to stay with him?
"Ritsuka," Soubi said again, "What do you want to do?" he moved away from the younger boy.
The way Soubi so easily moved away from Ritsuka hurt, and he visibly flinched, "Whatever you want Soubi." He said coldly, glaring at his fists clenched in his laps. He longed for Soubi's warmth to surround him again, he would, of course never say this out loud. As he thought about that, he realized the old Ritsuka probably would have told Soubi what he felt, what he wanted. There was no way of knowing this though. Just thinking it made Ritsuka feel guilty, actually.
"I asked you first, Ritsuka." Said Soubi softly. He stood up, "I can't make this decision, you are in charge. We agreed on that."
Ritsuka had a sudden fear that Soubi was going to leave, and on an impulse grabbed Soubi's hand firmly. "We should go somewhere." He said quietly.
"Where would you like to go, my darling Ritsuka?" asked Soubi, holding Ritsuka's hand lovingly.
"A-anywhere." Said Ritsuka after a moment of kicking at the snow. "We can go anywhere, just somewhere not this cold…?"
Soubi smiled, "If you were cold you should have told me a long time ago Ritsuka." He said, he easily picked Ritsuka up and cradled him tightly against his chest. He pressed his lips against Ritsuka's cheek, licking it as he pulled away.
Ritsuka turned an impressive shade of red and pressed against Soubi's chest, he turned his face towards the older man and pressed his lips against Soubi's.
Naturally this action shocked the older man and he didn't respond of a moment, causing Ritsuka to begin to pull away. When Ritsuka's lips began to leave his own Soubi dropped to his knees, so he could better support the boy. Then he reached up and held Ritsuka's head closer to his own, forcing his tongue into the boys mouth, rather abruptly.
Ritsuka's eyes shot open, in shock, what in the world was in his mouth? He pulled away, trying to get out of Soubi's grip, trying to breathe.
Slowly Soubi withdrew his tongue from Ritsuka's unmoving mouth, and moved back from Ritsuka, panting lightly. Ritsuka looked at him with a very shocked expression, his mouth still hanging open. "Wha… what was that?" he asked quietly.
Soubi laughed, and twined his fingers in Ritsuka's soft black hair. "That was my tongue love." He whispered.
"W-What?" choked Ritsuka, looking at Soubi in shock.
"Did you not like it in your mouth?" asked Soubi with w wry smile.
"I-I-"
"You want it back in there?" asked Soubi, brushing the bangs from Ritsuka's eyes again.
"Wha-….N-Yes…." Ritsuka blushed, suddenly catching a terrible stutter.
Soubi smiled and brought his lips back to Ritsuka's, "I thought so." he whispered. He pressed his, not so smooth lips against Ritsuka's almost feminine lips. They were soft and tasted of chapstick, Soubi planned to get rid of that taste soon enough. He held the back of Ritsuka's head close and gently slid his tongue into Ritsuka's mouth.
The boy obviously didn't know what to do and sat there for a moment letting Soubi's tongue do what it wanted inside of his mouth. Then, as though he suddenly knew what to do, his tongue started to battle to be in charge of what went on inside of it's cavern. Soubi smiled into the kiss, and let Ritsuka play this game, let Ritsuka think that he might be able to win this battle. Of course, it was useless. Ritsuka would never be able to beat Soubi, who had his share of tongue wars.
Ritsuka pulled away for breath, gasping weakly. He looked up into Soubi's blue eyes, his face still red and embarrassed.
"Yes, Ritsuka?" asked Soubi, his mouth longed for Ritsuka's taste to fill it again already, why did they need air?
"I- I want…nnnn." The boy pressed his face into Soubi's jacket embarrassed.
"I will never know what you want if you don't tell me Ritsuka." Said Soubi playfully.
"I… I want you… to promise that you will never leave me." Whispered Ritsuka. "I want you to always be at my side Soubi!" he cried in anguish looking up again, revealing tears leaking from his large eyes.
Soubi smiled, "I will always be here, Ritsuka." He promised, lifting a finger and brushing Ritsuka's tears away.
