Introduction ~ I went all dark and cynical for a while,
but now I'm back to the fluff (well almost - there's angst but it all gets
resolved). This is a sequel to 'Evolution', but don't worry if you haven't read
the first one, you'll soon catch up. Sorry if there's any language in this that
offends you. I don't normally like bad language, but it was necessary here for
the dramatic effect.
Disclaimer ~ They would have been mine apart from the fact
Joss thought of them all first. Damn. 'The Story Goes On' is the title of a
song from a musical, except I can't remember which one or who wrote it, oops!
Timeline ~ Five years in the future.
The Story so far ~ Buffy turned 25 and was relieved of her sacred
duty as a slayer. She came to LA in search of a new life and ran into the crew
of Angel Investigations (which included Faith who is now out of prison). Angel
helped some gypsies and they rewarded him by anchoring his soul. He and Buffy
got back together and big smoochies ensued. Cordelia is married to a big shot
Hollywood scriptwriter. Faith and Gunn are a couple. Xander has a girlfriend,
twin sons and a responsible job. Giles regained his lost youth and married a
much younger woman. Willow and Oz both died and their souls reunited on the
ethereal plane. Wesley is still Wesley. And that's all you need to know.
Spoilers ~ For anything and everything, but if you
haven't heard about it happening yet then I probably made it up.
Dedication ~ To all those who reviewed my first story.
Thanks guys.
Buffy
smoothed down the skirt of her burgundy velvet dress nervously. She had made a
lot of effort with her appearance tonight. She had wanted to look good, but not
too good. Her aim was to achieve a quiet elegance that would show her to be
someone of taste and style but not attract too much attention towards her.
Angel had helped her with this. His dress sense was as impeccable when choosing
her clothing as it was when selecting his own. He had picked out the dress for her and she had initially been surprised
by his choice. It was not something she would have worn normally. The gown
reached all the way to the floor and the fabric was heavy. So heavy in fact
that she feared the thin beaded straps holding the dress up would snap under
its weight. But it felt wonderful on. Angel had been right, she mused. Traditional
materials are so much more sensual that any of the man-made fibres available
nowadays.
Buffy
smiled at the thought of Angel's reaction when he had first seen her in the
dress. He had said he couldn't keep his hands off her and had then gone on to
prove the point. She scolded herself internally. She always let her mind stray
on to insignificant matters when she was supposed to be concentrating on something
she didn't want to face. It was amazing how she could retain so much focus when
fighting all the various demons of the world, but when it came to awkward
social situations she could think of anything but the matter in hand. The
awkward situation she was so reluctant to face this evening was actually a
party hosted by Cordelia and her husband John, in celebration of the imminent
release of a new film John had written the script for.
Parties
never normally made Buffy nervous, indeed she generally enjoyed them. Well,
those she had experienced that hadn't been crashed by evil demons trying to
kill all the guests, anyway. But tonight she was concerned about making a good
impression with Cordelia. The other woman's reaction to Buffy joining the team
at Angel Investigations a few months earlier had been frosty to say the least.
Buffy and Cordelia had never been best of friends, but ever since Cordy had
become so protective over Angel she had come to resent Buffy for all the hurt
she had caused Angel throughout the time they had known each other. Now,
though, slowly but surely Cordelia was becoming to accept Buffy's new role in
Angel's life and had seen how happy the two lovers were together. Her feelings
towards Buffy had begun to soften and the tentative basis for a friendship was
beginning to emerge. However, things were still very strained between the two
of them and Buffy wanted to make a good impression upon all of the guests at
the party, because she knew how highly Cordelia valued this sort of thing. Buffy
being rated highly amongst Cordelia's celebrity acquaintances could cement
their friendship permanently. But, if Buffy made a negative impression then she
my never make it back into Cordelia's good books again.
She looked
over to where Angel was walking next to her and smiled as love filled her heart
at the sight of him. She took his hand in hers and entwined their fingers
together tightly. She was doing it all for him, she knew. Cordelia was his
close friend, so close that she considered herself to be his family; Buffy had
been surprised to discover. If it was important to Angel that she and Cordelia
got along, then it was important to her and she would just have to keep making
to effort until it happened. Well maybe it's not all for Angel, she
reconsidered. She had actually begun to quite like Cordelia; she was nowhere
near as superficial or self-centred as when Buffy had known her and her
straight talking, no nonsense attitude was refreshing. Buffy now found herself
actually wanting to become good friends with Cordelia, after all it was not as
though she knew many more people in LA and quarrels with work colleagues would
only make the atmosphere at AI awkward and unpleasant. This was the last thing
she wanted.
She loved her new job at Angel Investigations.
Firstly, she got to work with her lover. After so many years apart from Angel
she thrived on their constant contact. They had been several months like this
now and she was still not tired of it, neither did she envisage wanting any
time apart from him ever again. Secondly, she was doing what she was made to do
– slay. Despite her release from her sacred duty she still felt slaying was her
purpose in life and the fact that she was very nearly forced into giving it all
up only made her appreciate how big a part of her life it was. It was also nice
to feel part of a team again. Ever since college had ended and the members of
the 'Scooby gang' had gone their separate ways - Willow to Boston to pursue her
career, Xander fleeing town in emotional turmoil over a rough break-up with
Anya – Buffy had worked alone. Giles had helped her along the way, with
research, because she still didn't have the patience to do it herself, but
apart from that she had been totally isolated in her slaying. Now it was nice
to have people to share the experience with. People who understood what she was
going through and who were there to back her up if she got into trouble.
Buffy was jolted from her thoughts by the
sound of a polite, yet emotionless and unfamiliar voice. Angel squeezed her
hand to further focus her attention. She looked up and realised that they had
reached the entrance to Cordelia and John's home. One of the staff the couple
had hired for the party was asking to see their invitation before letting Buffy
and Angel into the house. Buffy fumbled inside her bag and drew out the stiff
piece of card with the gold lettering that Cordelia had sent her in the post
the previous week. As she handed it over her heart swelled with pride. The
invitation was addressed to 'Angel and Buffy'. It was the first piece of mail
they had ever received addressed to both of them. It was a proper
acknowledgement that they were a couple. They weren't just dating, or having an
affair or a whirlwind romance, anymore. They were a proper, real world,
official, committed couple. It was all she'd ever hoped for and dreamed of. She
was slightly upset, therefore, when the doorman ushered her and Angel inside
without returning the invitation. She was about to demand it back when she felt
Angel's strong arm slip around her waist, pulling her closer to him. She forgot
the invitation instantly knowing it was only one of many indications of her
stable relationship with Angel.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Cordelia surveyed her guests happily. She never felt more in her
element as when acting hostess to a large party. John had been horrified at the
expense she had lavished upon the evening's gathering, but in the end he had
given into her and agreed it was money well spent and it was not as though they
couldn't afford it. Cordy would never understand her husband's reservations
over making the most of their wealth and status in LA society. After all
hosting such elaborate events would only serve to improve John's career. He
could meet with directors and producers and pitch new script ideas to them.
Everyone knew that in Hollywood more business was done over champagne and
cocktails than would ever be done in a boardroom. But John possessed neither
the aptitude nor the inclination to schmooze the executives. He was only
interested in the writing he was so talented at. Cordelia sighed at the sight
of John in the corner talking to Gunn and Faith. It's a good thing he's got
me, then, isn't it? She thought.
As she strode over to 'encourage' her
somewhat less than gregarious husband to mingle with the guests, she mentally
critiqued Faith's outfit. Faith's return to fighting evil, as opposed to being
it, had had no discernable effect on her taste in clothes. Cordelia was
disappointed to notice. The brunette slayer still dressed like a slut, even
though nowadays she behaved much less like one. Faith's black dress was short,
tight and very low cut and she had teamed it with knee high leather boots. Gunn
had one arm draped possessively around his girlfriend's shoulders, which was
not surprising considering the amount of attention she was getting from the
other men in the room. Not from John, though, Cordy registered with
satisfaction.
"Sweetie," she touched her husbands arm
affectionately. "Why don't you come and talk to the other guests."
"Because, I'm talking to Faith and Gunn."
Came the good natured reply.
"You can talk to them anytime."
Cordelia said dismissively. "But what other opportunity do you get to meet with
six different movie producers all in the space of an evening?"
"I'd go if I were you, man." Gunn chuckled
at the other man's plight. "Resistance is futile."
"He learnt that one from me." Faith added
suggestively.
Cordelia dragged John of into the midst of
the guests, leaving Faith and Gunn alone. They were not that way for long,
though, as Buffy and Angel soon walked into the room and came over to join
them.
"Nice dress, B." Faith informed Buffy. "Not
what I would have chosen, but I suppose it suits you."
"I could say the same about your outfit."
Buffy countered.
The two women grinned at each other. Within
a week of Buffy joining AI they had, at Angel's instigation, sat down and had a
long conversation with each other. Faith had apologised for her past behaviour
and Buffy finally recognised her apologies as genuine and accepted them. Buffy
even offered a few apologies of her own for being unwilling to offer Faith a
second chance, not just after Angel had, but earlier when Faith had first
started to go off the rails. Buffy realised now that she had been too concerned
with how events affected her and had not considered Faith's point of view. She
should have worked harder to halt Faith's initial downward spiral, after the
death of the deputy-mayor, if she had done so then a lot of heartache could
have been avoided.
Faith had been amazed and humbled by
Buffy's understanding reaction, at which point Buffy explained that it was not
just Faith who had changed in the intervening years since they had seen each
other last. Buffy was now ashamed of the way she had behaved with many people
in the past and felt particularly bad over the way she had treated Angel when
he had tried to help Faith. She had thought she knew everything, that because
she was the slayer she was somehow more important than others around her. She
now recognised this behaviour as naïve and childish. Buffy was determined that
her future actions should display the maturity she had begun to see in herself.
And this meant starting over a new leaf with Faith. They would not speak of
what had gone before ever again.
So, far they had kept this promise. Things
had been awkward to begin with. Faith had tried to avoid Buffy as much as
possible and still felt uncomfortable in her presence. But Buffy recognised
this behaviour as guilt and simply ignored it. She made an effort to talk to
Faith and went out patrolling with her each night. The other slayer had soon
relaxed around Buffy and they actually began to consider themselves friends
again. Buffy could never forget Faith's actions but she had learnt to forgive
and that was all that mattered.
Seeing the two slayers beginning to get
along again, Angel had confessed to Buffy how he had nearly embarked upon a
relationship with Faith. Buffy was shocked at first, then hurt, then jealous.
But these feelings soon melted away when Angel explained that he could never
have been with Faith, because he never stopped loving Buffy. She could also not
be angry with him over this revelation for her own very personal reasons. She
had been in a similar position with Spike, he had loved her – or as close as a
soulless vampire could get to love – and she had been tempted. Not because she
had any romantic desires towards Spike, but because she wanted the
companionship, wanted to be with someone in order to keep away the loneliness.
However, in her heart of hearts she knew this would never have worked. Being in
a loveless relationship was the loneliest place in the world.
"You want a drink?" Angel's voice cut
through Buffy's reverie. She smiled up at him and thought, for what seemed like
the thousandth time that day, how lucky she was. She nodded and Angel swept
away from her side to fetch them both some champagne, moving as silently and
swiftly as only a master vampire such as himself knew how to.
Faith trotted after him muttering something
about needing alcohol to get through one of Cordelia's mind-numbingly boring
parties.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Cordelia's sharp
eyes spotted George Puccini across the room. He was the owner of one
Hollywood's hottest, up-and-coming movie studios. In other words, the perfect
person to commission one of John's latest scripts. She linked arms with her
husband and frog-marched him over to talk to Puccini, who was currently deep in
conversation with a tall blonde man that Cordy had never seen before and
couldn't recall inviting, so assumed was unimportant enough to interrupt.
"George,
darling!" She gushed and kissed the air to either side of his cheeks. "How are
you enjoying the party?"
"It's
sublime, dear." Puccini replied. "But then your parties always are." Cordelia
beamed appreciatively, as her guest shook hands with John.
"I agree."
The sandy haired man with Puccini spoke up and Cordy turned, pretending to
notice him for the first time. "I don't think we've met." He continued. "I came
as Diana Palmer's date."
Cordelia
vaguely remembered inviting the lesser celebrity because she was currently the
star of one of George's new films. So, that's how they must know each other,
she thought.
"Yes, this
is Captain Finn." Puccini made the introductions.
"Riley,
please." The man winced at the formality.
"Riley
has been helping us with background research into life in the army for the
studio's latest project. He has extensive experience in the special forces."
Puccini continued enthusiastically and Cordy smiled politely.
"I'm a
public relations officer with the military now." Riley explained. "Which why I
get to come to these wonderful parties hosted by good people like you. Of
course, it's not just glamorous socialising. There is work involved as well."
"Public
relations officer?" Cordelia remarked. "Don't you army guys have to keep
things, like a big secret?"
"Yes, of
course. All details of army manoeuvres are classified." Riley looked
uncomfortable under her scrutiny. "But, the army is changing. We're a lot more
answerable to the public nowadays. And it's my job to project a positive image
of the military and make it seem more accessible and less hostile to people."
"So, you're
the army's poster boy?" Cordy asked bluntly. Riley looked embarrassed and John
groaned internally at his wife's insensitivity.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Buffy stood
awkwardly with Gunn. It was strange, but out of all the team at AI he seemed to
have taken her joining the business the hardest. Sure things had been difficult
with Cordelia and Faith because of Buffy's past history with the two other
women, but at least they had respected her abilities and acknowledged she was a
valuable addition to the team. And Wesley had been thrilled to have her on
board. He had relaxed considerably since he was her watcher and now fully
appreciated her unconventional, yet highly effective, approach to slaying. Gunn,
however, seemed to resent her presence and wouldn't trust her to back him up in
a fight. Angel had threatened to speak to him about his hostile attitude
towards Buffy, but she had begged him not to, not wanting to upset things
further.
She had a feeling that Gunn's resentment
stemmed from jealousy. He had become accustomed to being Angel's right hand
man; his most relied upon fighter. Now Buffy had swept in and taken his place
as Angel's favourite. She had encountered a similar problem with Forrest when
she was dating Riley, so she recognised all the signs. This had not been an
issue when Faith started working with Angel, because initially the
responsibilities she was given were few, because of fears of her losing control
again. Then later, when she was more stable and trusted, she and Gunn had begun
dating. Buffy was sure that if she let Gunn get used to her presence and her
importance in Angel's life then relations between them would gradually improve.
Unfortunately, there were no signs of this happening in the near future, as
Gunn muttered his excuses in a low voice and walked away from her, leaving
Buffy on her own.
Wesley soon spotted her lone figure,
however, and he hurried over to talk to her. He was dressed formally in a full
tuxedo and Buffy smiled.
"Going for the James Bond look are you
Wes?" She teased.
"Well, one should really make an effort for
this type of occasion." He looked pleased with himself.
"What happened to your date?" She asked.
Wesley had spent the whole week boasting to the office about the beautiful
redhead he would be bringing to the party.
He blushed. "It, um, turned out, um, that
she couldn't make it after all. Her mother was ill, I believe." He looked
flustered. "Speaking of which, where's Angel?"
"Oh, he went to get us drinks." Buffy
looked around. "He should be back by now."
"Well, in the meantime, I saw John and
Cordelia over there, why don't we go and speak to them. Pay our respects to the
hosts and that sort of thing." Wesley took her arm and led her across the room.
Buffy was too busy scanning the crowd for
Angel that she didn't notice the man was talking with until she had reached
them. Wesley started to make polite conversation with John and Buffy felt her
jaw drop as Riley looked over and their eyes met, she realised the astonished
expression on his face must be mirrored on her own.
"Buffy!" Riley uttered the only word that
came to his mind.
"Hi." She managed lamely, extraditing
herself from Wesley's grasp.
"You two know each other?" The Englishman
asked.
"Yeah," Buffy told him. "We, uh, used to
date in college."
"Oh my God!" The penny had dropped for
Cordelia. "So, you're that Riley. Oh!" She positioned herself between
George Puccini and John and not very tactfully ushered them away. "Why don't we
go and get something to eat? There's a buffet table laid out in the dining
room. You too Wesley." She finished pointedly.
Buffy faced Riley nervously. Cordelia's
exit had been quite diplomatic, for her anyway, but it left an awkward silence
behind it.
"So, how've you been?" She asked.
"Fine. Good. Uh, I'm still in the army."
"Good, that's good."
"What about you?"
"Me?" Buffy looked confused.
"How have you been?" Riley elaborated.
"Oh, good. Great you know."
"Yeah, you look it." His eyes travelled
down her body. "I mean you look beautiful tonight."
"Thanks." She felt uncomfortable at the
compliment.
"So, are you seeing anyone?" He asked an
edge of hope to his voice.
"Don't do this Riley." Buffy began to get
angry with him.
"Do what?"
"Ask me if I'm seeing anyone, because the
next question is would I come for a drink with you, then dinner or the movies.
And I don't want to do any of those things." She told him harshly. "I don't
want to make nice with you. That's not going to happen."
"What is going to happen?" Riley asked.
"That all depends on you." Angel walked up
behind Buffy and spoke in a low voice. He handed Buffy a glass of champagne,
but his eyes never left Riley.
"What's he doing here?" The soldier
hissed at Buffy.
"I was enjoying a civilised gathering with
my friends and my girlfriend." Angel pointedly wrapped a protective arm around
Buffy's waist. "And if you have a problem with that I suggest you leave."
"How could you get back together with him?
After all he put you through?" Riley stared incredulously at Buffy.
She sensed Angel's body tense against hers
and took hold of his hand gently, to calm and reassure him. She also noticed
other guests nearby starting to glance in their direction, reacting to the
tension emanating from their group. "Maybe we should go outside." Buffy
suggested, still mindful of upsetting Cordelia.
They went out onto the terrace, Angel
keeping a tight hold on Buffy's hand all the way. When away from the other
guests, though, Buffy turned to Angel and spoke softly.
"I think I should talk to him alone." She
fixed Angel's gaze and saw the reluctance in his eyes. "I'll be OK. I love
you." She whispered, in an effort to dispel any insecurity Angel may have been
feeling when in the company of her former lover.
He nodded. "I'll be just inside." He backed
away from her, raising her hand to his lips and kissing it lightly before he
left, acting every inch the eighteenth century gentleman he once was. Shame
he had to spoil the effect by glaring threateningly at Riley whilst he did it,
Buffy thought.
"Well?" Riley asked.
"Well, what?" Buffy turned to him angrily.
"What are you doing with him?" Riley
sneered. "And at a party as well. I thought he wasn't supposed to get on well
with people. Or did he just come for the free lunch?"
"That's enough Riley!" Buffy struggled to
keep from shouting at him and her voice shook with anger. "Angel doesn't hurt
people anymore."
"He hurt you didn't he?"
Buffy sighed. "And I hurt him as well.
Everything Angel's done in the past I've forgiven him for, we're trying to make
a new start and I would be grateful if you'd keep out of things. It's been
painful enough seeing you already. Now I'm going to leave – with Angel - and
I'd rather we both just forgot about meeting altogether."
"Why?" Riley asked quietly.
"Why what?" Buffy was confused.
"Why could you forgive him and not me?
Because from your attitude I'm assuming you're still angry with me over what
happened."
She took in the pained look in Riley's eyes
and her hostility faded a little. "You left me." She stated flatly.
"So did Angel." He replied. "And yet you
don't seem to resent him the way you resent me."
"I expected more from you." Buffy told him
bluntly. He looked puzzled by her statement, so she carried on. "Every
relationship is different, Riley. With Angel it was intense, passionate, all
consuming." Her eyes gained a far away look then snapped back to focus on
Riley. "He never promised commitment or stability, because it was something he
couldn't give and I knew that. But it was worth it all. Worth all the risk, all
the pain – just to experience the moment. You were different. You were supposed
to be my security, my safety net. Someone I could rely on not to disappear into
the night." Her voice was heavy with irony. "And then what do you do? Disappear into the night. You betrayed me
far more than Angel ever did, because he never intentionally set out to hurt
me."
"I never…" Riley started but his protests
faded away. There was nothing he could say to Buffy now to put right the past.
He hung his head. "I'm sorry."
She shook her head. "Your apology means
nothing to me, Riley, because now I've moved on. You know that commitment Angel
couldn't give me five years ago? Well now I think he can give it me and we're
happy." Her eyes filled with tears and she looked at him pleadingly. "I'm
actually happy for the first time in my life, Riley. Please do the right thing
now. Just walk away, don't ruin things for me."
He was about to reply when the loud sound
of smashing glass, coming from inside, interrupted their conversation.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Faith
stared angrily at the broken remains of the bottle she had thrown against the
wall in frustration. The green glass had been scattered over a wide area and
the champagne left a dark, wet stain on Cordelia's expensive wallpaper. She
turned her attention away from the damage she had caused and back to Gunn, her
eyes flashing with anger.
"Don't ever
say you understand what I'm going through!" She yelled. "Because you don't.
You'll never understand. You haven't even got a clue."
"Then tell
me." He yelled back. "Stop shutting me out. I'm not fucking psychic you know! I
can't know what you're feeling unless you talk to me."
"And why
would I want to do that?" Faith asked him harshly. "Why would I want to have
anything to do with you ever again?"
"That's
about as much of a mystery as why I slept with you in the first place!"
The colour visibly
drained from Faith's face as she processed this hurtful remark. She stepped
towards Gunn and slapped him across the face, with all her slayer-enhanced
strength. In the stunned silence of the room the snapping sound of his nose
breaking under her palm was almost audible. Angry red blood dripped down his
face and Faith stepped back, covering her mouth in horror at what she had done.
She ran out of the room, astonished guests stepping aside to let her past.
Buffy
stepped into the room, she had heard the latter part of the argument from
outside and now she witnessed the aftermath. Her eyes sought out Angel's and in
an unspoken agreement they both rushed after Faith.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Cordelia
was mad. No, she was furious. How dare Faith ruin her party like this? She
would now be the laughing stock of the whole of Hollywood. At least Buffy had
possessed the good sense to take her argument outside. But then Faith's
never been the sensible one, Cordelia thought. The first stirrings of worry
broke through her anger. She had seen Faith and Gunn fight before, but never
like this, never with violence. Something must be seriously wrong. She
surveyed the ruins of the party she had spent so much time and effort
organising. Something better be seriously wrong, she thought. Faith
and Gunn need a damn good excuse for what they did tonight.
She grabbed
hold of Wesley who was standing open-mouthed next to her and hissed at him to
take Gunn to the Emergency Room to get his injuries seen to. In truth, Cordelia
didn't really care about Gunn being hurt she just wanted him out of there as
quickly as possible. Wesley was about to object, on the grounds that he had
been getting along very well with a certain blonde actress and was reluctant to
leave her, but he took one look at Cordelia's angry expression and complied
meekly. Cordy then turned to one of the waiters circling with canapés, she
snapped out orders for him to clean up the broken glass, then make sure
everybody's drinks were refreshed. She then fixed a beaming smile on her face
and went to deal with the guests. She was used to adversity and if anyone could
salvage this evening then it was her.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Buffy stood
at the door of the training room in the office, apprehensively watching Angel
and Faith spar. Faith had refused to speak a word to them about the incident at
the party all the way back and when they had reached the office, where Faith
had left her car, she had insisted that she wanted to get some training in
rather than go straight home. Angel had been reluctant at first, but
recognising the cathartic effect that fighting had for the slayer and not
wanting to let her out on the streets before she had had the chance to vent her
anger further, he agreed to spar with her. They had changed out of their formal
clothes and were now engaged in hand-to-hand combat, whilst Buffy watched.
Buffy was
trying her best not to feel jealous at the sight of Angel and another woman
focused so intently upon one another. She was failing miserably. She couldn't
help but be jealous. When she and Angel had been limited in how far they could
take their relationship by his curse, sparring had been their release for the
physical passion they had felt for one another. In other words it was like a
substitute for sex between them. To see Angel engaging in the activity with
someone else, even if she understood the reasons were entirely different, still
upset her greatly.
She was
also filled with another emotion, one much more primal than jealousy. This was
a protective instinct, enhanced in her because she was the slayer. Someone was
fighting with, attacking her lover. It was all she could do not to rush
in there and pull Faith away from Angel. She didn't normally feel like this.
She had witnessed Faith and Angel spar before and it hadn't bothered her, but
this time it was different. That element of control was missing. Before had
always been a technical exercise. Faith testing out new fighting tactics and
Angel offering criticism or praise where it was relevant. Now no words of
censure or encouragement were being offered, there was no sound at all coming
from the training room, save the occasional grunt when a blow connected with
its target.
Buffy finally realised the reason she was
so concerned with this particular fight. Since she had come to LA, she had
witnessed a new and different Faith. One converted to a life of helping others
and doing good, rather than committing evil. Tonight, though, Faith's behaviour
reminded her of the girl Buffy used to know, the one who had been so dangerous
and out of control. It made Buffy's blood run cold at the thought.
Then suddenly it was over. Angel pinned
Faith to the wall and instead of retaliating she simply went limp in his grasp
and started to cry. Angel held her close to him and they sank to the floor
together, Faith's sobs muffled in his expansive chest. Buffy's heart went out
to the brunette. Faith's life had been far from easy and now it seemed she had
another problem to deal with. At least now she has us to support her,
Buffy thought, determined not to let Faith down as she had in the past. She
closed the door of the training room quietly behind her, leaving Faith to be
comforted by Angel in private.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Faith
stirred in Angel's strong embrace, she had stopped crying now but was still
reluctant to move. She felt so lost, so helpless. She didn't know what she was
going to do. She hadn't felt this out of control for years. Not since…she
shuddered at the memories of her previous self. But now it seemed the life she
had built up for herself was slipping away again. She couldn't believe she had
lashed out at Gunn like that. She loved him, but now the love was so tangled
with anger and pain that she couldn't separate the tenderness she once felt
from the hostility that was currently raging in her soul. She could feel the
darkness encroaching again, so she clung to her one link to sanity, the one
person who had looked into her heart and seen the light there, even when it was
shining at its dimmest. Angel had saved her before. He would do it again now.
Faith
lifted her head from Angel's chest. He looked down at her, concern filling his
dark eyes. She was suddenly aware of her appearance. The tears had decimated
her customary heavy eye make-up and her cheeks were now blotchy and mascara
stained. She pulled away from Angel and turned her back on him, feeling
ashamed.
"God, what
must you think of me."
"Certainly
no less than I did an hour ago." Angel answered matter of factly.
"What must Buffy
think of me?" Faith continued. "Crying all over her boyfriend."
"Buffy
understands."
Faith
looked up at him, though fresh tears. Suddenly it was clear to her. Buffy would
understand. They both would. She couldn't face this alone any longer. Look at
the problems trying that had already caused. Besides, she
thought, it's not exactly like I could keep it a secret any longer; it would
have had to come out sooner or later.
"Why don't you tell me what's wrong Faith." Angel
suggested gently.
She nodded.
"B should hear this as well, though."
Angel led
her up to the apartment he shared with Buffy above the office and sat her down
on the sofa. Buffy leapt up as soon as they entered, almost as if she had been
expecting them to do so. Faith wouldn't have been surprised if she had been
expecting them. Buffy and Angel could anticipate one another's actions with
uncanny accuracy. Faith often envied the bond they shared. They were so attuned
to each other's thoughts and emotions, whilst Faith could never understand how
Gunn's mind worked. And how could he know the depths of her soul, when they
were still such a mystery to herself.
She registered vaguely a blanket being
placed around her shoulders, and glass of scotch being placed into her hand.
She drank the alcohol down in one gulp. It burnt her mouth and throat and
warmed her stomach as it reached there. But the warmth was only short-lived and
she soon felt cold and empty again. Except I'm not, came the involuntary
thought. Faith felt a body settle on the sofa beside her and Buffy's hand
entwined with hers in a silent gesture of support. She knew she was expected to
begin.
"I-I…" She emitted a hollow laugh. "You're
not going to believe this."
"I think there's pretty much nothing that
can surprise either of us any more." Angel said, mindful of his long existence.
"Then I better just come out and say it,
because there's no easy way to break this to you." Faith took a deep breath.
"I'm pregnant."
There she'd said it. They knew. She'd
expected to feel a weight lift from her or something. Like they said in all the
books and the movies. She'd made her confession. Bared her soul. A problem
shared is a problem halved and all that. So, why didn't she feel any better?
Why weren't they saying anything? She realised she had been holding her breath
and exhaled loudly.
"Well?" She
demanded. "I expected some reaction at least."
"So, that's
what you were fighting with Gunn about." Buffy tried to keep the shock she felt
out of her voice.
"Yeah," she
replied. "He doesn't want a baby."
"What do
you want?" Angel asked her softly.
Faith
looked down at her hands, studying her fingernails intently. "I don't know what
I want. That's what the fight was about more than anything. I mean a baby. I've
got a whole other life growing inside me. It's incredible, but it's scary." She
looked up at him with frightened eyes. "I can't be a mother, Angel. I just
can't. Look at my life. I can't subject a child to that."
"We're here
for you Faith, whatever you decide." Buffy squeezed her hand.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Faith had
started crying again, so Angel had put her to bed on the sofa, saying she'd
feel better after some rest and that they'd talk about it more in the morning.
Buffy lay in bed also, missing Angel's substantial presence beside her. He'd
gone to do some late night patrolling and also to check on the welfare of Gunn.
Buffy knew Angel was more concerned for the emotional damage Faith had
inflicted upon Gunn rather than the physical. But she also knew she would not
be able to sleep until he returned, so she lay back on the pillows and began to
mull over the events of the evening.
Faith
pregnant. She could hardly believe it. Faith was the last person Buffy would
have expected to become a mother. But on the other hand, Buffy thought, maybe
it was inevitable. Faith was not the most organised person Buffy knew;
neither did she ever seem to have full control over the events in her life. And
accidents did happen, so Buffy didn't really understand why she found the whole
situation so shocking. Maybe it was because having children was such an adult
thing to do and that someone of her age was facing the situation made her feel
old. Six months ago this would have been true, but she had since discovered
Xander was the father to twins and that revelation had catapulted her into
maturity much faster than the news of an accidental pregnancy ever could.
Buffy was
forced to admit to herself that she still held prejudices against Faith for the
acts she had committed during her 'unstable' period. She was willing to accept
Faith wanted to change her ways and admired her for the success she had had in
doing so, but she didn't trust her. A small part of Buffy still believed that
if Faith were put under stress again the she would snap and return to her old
ways. And what could be more stressful bringing a new life into the world? Even
just finding out she was pregnant had taken its toll on Faith, as had been
clearly demonstrated by her behaviour that night. What would happen if Faith
had the baby and she couldn't deal with the pressure? The baby would be crying,
there would be further arguments with Gunn. Faith might go off the rails again,
and then God knows what could happen.
Buffy felt
terribly guilty. She had only just found out Faith was pregnant an hour earlier
and now she was inventing situations where Faith went psychotic again and
killed the baby and possibly even Gunn. Buffy was supposed to be Faith's
friend, she had promised to be there for Faith and even thinking these thoughts
was a betrayal of that promise. After all she believed that Angel had changed
his ways and he had been evil for hundreds of years and had a demon inside of
him constantly baying for blood. Why couldn't Buffy believe that Faith could
possess the strength to undergo the same transformation, when she was obviously
less evil than Angel had ever been?
Buffy realised with a shock that Faith and
Gunn must have been arguing about a similar issue. It was not that Gunn didn't
want kids; it was that he didn't want Faith to have them because of what he
feared it might do to her. Or at least this was how Faith must have perceived
the situation. She must feel terribly alone and unloved right now, Buffy
thought. She considered going to Faith to tell her she wasn't alone that she
had friends who believed in her and supported her. But she couldn't bring
herself to do it, because Buffy knew that coming from her it would be a lie.
She still resented Faith for the hurt she had caused Buffy during high school
and college, which was why she couldn't fully trust the other woman. She wanted
to forgive, but wasn't quite ready to yet. She hoped that she would be in time,
especially if Faith decided to have the baby.
When presented with her own
small-mindedness Buffy did as the vast majority of people do. Thought about
something else. She cast her mind back to before Faith has disturbed the party
and meeting Riley there. She felt bad about some of the things she had said to
him. After all their break-up hadn't been entirely his fault. The way she had
treated him, she wasn't really surprised he had left. Well, it certainly
seems to be a night for self-flagellation and guilt, Buffy thought to
herself. She reconsidered what she had said to Riley and felt a little more
justified in saying it. When he saw her that evening, in that dress
(Buffy now regretted wearing it, after all she didn't get the opportunity to
impress many of Cordelia's friends with it), he'd got that look in his eyes.
The puppy-dog one that Buffy had remembered from when they had been going out.
From that moment on Buffy had know he was entertaining thoughts of them getting
back together and that was the last thing she had wanted. She was with Angel
now and she couldn't let anything jeopardise that, they had already been
through enough together. So, whilst she regretted being harsh to Riley, she
knew it was worth it to get the message through to him that she wasn't
interested.
She closed her eyes, suddenly exhausted by
the day's events. She would apologise to Riley if she ever saw him again, but
after what she had said tonight that was unlikely, so she shouldn't really
worry about it. Much more deserving of her worry was Faith, but there wasn't
anything she could do about that situation either. She drifted off to sleep,
forgetting her vow that she would wait up for Angel to return.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Gunn sat
sullenly in the waiting area of the Emergency Room, a bloody handkerchief still
held to his nose. He had sent Wesley back to the party, wanting to be alone
with his thoughts. He couldn't bring himself to be angry at Faith for slapping
him, he was more angry with himself for saying those things to her. More than
anything now, he knew that he loved Faith. She was so vibrant and
unpredictable; life with her was a roller coaster ride of emotions, not all of
them good. But this didn't bother Gunn. He knew he had to take the bad with the
good - that was all part of loving her. He was also well aware of Faith's
darker side, indeed it was one to the things that attracted him to her. She was
dangerous and that made things between them exciting. Being with her was like
wrestling a tiger, the risk just made it even more exhilarating.
But he had
never expected her to get pregnant, to have his children. He had never really
looked past the present with her. They had both seen so much death; they both
knew how fragile and fleeting life could be, so they lived for the moment. They
never stopped and planned for the future, because they knew their futures could
be ripped away from them both without even a second's notice. But, now life had
shown them another of its features, one they had all but forgotten about. Its
drive for continuance. Mother nature's grand plan. The selfish gene. Life
flourished even when surrounded by death. Even where it was not wanted.
Gunn
crushed this thought. It was not that he didn't want a baby. In theory the idea
sounded quite nice. He could marry Faith, they would set up home together,
somewhere in the suburbs with a white picket fence, he and little Charles
Junior would play ball on the front lawn. He almost laughed out loud at these
thoughts; he had clearly been watching too many Disney movies. He knew there
was no way things would ever turn out like that with Faith. He didn't even know
whether they could stand to live with each other, let alone what would happen
if there was a baby in the equation.
There was no way he and Faith would make
suitable parents. He couldn't even manage to take care of his little sister
when she had needed him, how was he supposed to cope with bringing up a child
of his own. Then there was Faith to consider. Gunn couldn't say that he knew
her completely, she would always remain a mystery to him, but he was pretty
sure that she had no maternal instincts to speak of. And the dark side to her,
that Gunn found so attractive in a girlfriend was not exactly a trait he would
want to see in the mother of his children. He felt so confused. And guilty. He
had pretty much voiced all these reservations to Faith, without thinking how
they would affect her. That she had lost her temper and hit him, Gunn wasn't
really surprised. The question was, though, what was he going to do about it
now?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Buffy awoke
with her head resting on Angel's chest; she checked her watch it was nearly
noon. He was still sleeping. He had not got back until just before sunrise that
morning. A whispered conversation with Buffy upon his return had revealed that
he'd given Gunn a ride home from the hospital, but that the other man had
refused to talk about his problems to Angel, insisting only that he needed time
to think and that Angel should pass on his apologies to Faith. Then Angel had
gone patrolling and taken out a nest of vampires. He was exhausted by the end
of the night and Buffy was careful not to wake him as she climbed out of bed.
She pulled on a robe and went in search of some breakfast.
Faith sat
in the kitchen, a mug of coffee in hand, staring into space. Buffy tried to
look cheerful.
"There any
coffee left in the pot?" She asked Faith brightly. The other woman simply
nodded and Buffy helped herself. "Have you had any breakfast?" Buffy decided to
play the hostess, even though she knew that the whole of the team from AI were
in and out of Angel's apartment all the time and were perfectly capable of
helping themselves to whatever food or drink was in there.
"Not
hungry." Faith muttered.
Well, at
least I got two words out of her, Buffy thought. That's got to be a
start. She inserted a couple of slices of bread into the toaster and sat
down at the table with Faith, whilst she waited for them to brown.
"Angel
spoke to Gunn last night." Buffy decided to dispense with small talk and launch
straight into the awkward topic. There was still no response from Faith. "He
said to apologise to you for some of the things he said and that he needs time
to think. You probably both do."
Faith
looked up at Buffy and was about to reply when she was interrupted by a knock
on the front door. Faith's eyes dropped back to the table immediately and Buffy
internally cursed whoever it was at the door. This caused her to wonder whom it
actually could be. Visitors had to come through the office first, which stopped
them from getting the usual door-to-door sales reps, any of Angel's staff would
just walk in without knocking and for clients or other people of importance,
Cordelia would call Angel or Buffy down. Hence, very few people knocked on the
door.
Curious she
rushed over to open it, wanting to silence the visitor before they knocked
again and disturbed Angel. She was amazed to see Riley standing there, an
apologetic smile in his face.
"Hi," he
began, then noticed she was only wearing a robe. "I'm sorry did I come at a bad
time?" He looked embarrassed.
"No." Buffy
told him. "I'm just getting up." He looked at his watch and she answered his
unspoken question. "When you live with a vampire, you tend to stay up a lot of
nights."
"Oh, I guess
I should have realised that." He paused. "Can we talk?"
Buffy
sighed. She remembered her resolution to apologise to him. She would do that
then throw him out. If Angel woke up and found Riley here he would freak.
"Listen, Riley, I'm sorry for some of the things I said last night. I was
harsh. It was uncalled for. But, I'm still with Angel now and whatever you want
to say to me isn't going to change that." Right speech over, she could get rid
of him now. She already had way too much to deal with today.
Riley had
other ideas, though. "I accept that you're with Angel." He tried to catch her
eye. "I haven't come here to ruin your life like you asked me not to last
night. But I can't just walk away and pretend I haven't seen you. You were the
love of my life Buffy." She opened her mouth to speak, but he didn't give her
the opportunity. "And I know that you never felt the same way about me." She
looked away. "But, you will always be someone very special to me and I don't
want to lose that. I came to ask you if we could be friends."
Buffy
realised that his words were genuine. "Alright. We can talk. Let me get dressed
and I'll meet you downstairs."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Riley
walked back downstairs and faced the intimidating spectre of the brunette on the
front desk again. He still couldn't believe that this was the same Hollywood
socialite whose party he had attended the night before. John Carmichael's
wife working for a vampire, he shook his head in amazement. No wonder the
plot of the guy's last film had sounded so familiar. She fixed him with sharp
eyes.
"Uh, Buffy
said I should wait for her down here?" He told the brunette.
"You can go
sit in Angel's office." She indicated towards an open door with a wave of her
hand, then went back to filing her nails.
Riley was
about to mutter 'thanks', but Cordelia's complete lack of interest in anything
further he had to say stopped him and he walked into the office and sat down on
one of the chairs in front of the desk. While he was waiting he idly examined
the items strewn over the desk. There were several sheets of paper covered in a
large, flowing script. This must be Angel's handwriting, he realised. It
was exactly what he would have expected from someone taught to write in the
eighteenth century, it was in perfect copperplate style and Riley could almost
imagine it being written in a quill pen. His fantasy was dashed, however, when
instead of an ink pot on Angel's desk all he could see was a container of
biros. There were also several books open on Angel's desk, all at least 100
years old. He examined the titles of them; impressed to notice that one was in
French and another was in some language he didn't recognise but assumed to be
Gaelic.
He picked up one of the books and saw,
concealed underneath it, a pencil sketch. It was a perfectly executed drawing
of Buffy. In the picture she was deep in thought, her eyes held a far away look
and a faint smile played at her lips. He was stunned by how beautiful she
looked in the drawing. A noise from the doorway startled him and he looked up
to see Buffy standing there. She was dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt
and her face wore the same tiny smile. He covered the drawing back up quickly
and grinned sheepishly at Buffy.
"I was going to catch up on my reading." He
patted one of the books. "But I can't seem to find a single text I can
understand."
"Angel speaks a lot of different languages.
I think even he forgets how many sometimes." Buffy answered absentmindedly. She
moved to sit in a chair next to Riley and he noticed how she kept the seat
behind the desk free. "So, what did you want to talk about?" She asked him.
"Oh, nothing in particular." Riley was
suddenly stumped. "I mean I said the important stuff, right? About wanting to
be your friend and accepting your relationship with Angel."
"Do you really?" She looked searchingly at
him, demanding an honest answer. "Accept that I'm with Angel now. Because, I
don't want to sound harsh, but you always had a problem with Angel and I don't
want you thinking that if you became friends with me you could somehow split us
up."
Riley thought carefully. He hadn't really
considered his motives for coming here. He had just known he had to see Buffy
again. He hadn't cared that she was with someone else; he simply wanted to be a
part of her life again. Maybe deep down he had thought he could somehow win her
back. But actually seeing her here, in Angel's home, in his office, he realised
what a huge part of her life the vampire was. He was her employer, her lover,
her best friend. He was the centre of her world in a way that Riley never was
and never could have been. And judging from the sketch on Angel's desk he felt
the same way about her. The picture had been drawn with such love and care; it
captured exactly the essence of Buffy's soul. Suddenly Riley felt he had never
even known the girl he had felt so intimate with five years ago.
"I don't want to split you two up Buffy."
He told her and it was almost the truth. "Maybe I was too quick to judge
Angel." The words came out with difficulty. Riley hated admitting he was wrong,
especially when it was over something he had felt so strongly about for so
long. "Back then everything was black and white. Vampires bad. People good. I
couldn't see the shades of grey. I wasn't prepared to accept that there might
be good in a creature that had been evil for so long."
"And you are now?" Buffy was sceptical.
"I don't know." Riley answered honestly.
"All I do know is that you taught me to question, not just to accept. Through
you I learnt to see the shades of grey. I trust your judgement, Buffy, and if
you love Angel then he can't be that bad."
Buffy smiled and his heart leapt. He hadn't
realised how much he had missed that smile until he was presented with it again
after all these years. "He's not." She said softly. "He's wonderful. You should
come back upstairs and talk to him. I'd really like it if you two could get
on." She got up then seemed to remember something. "On second thoughts, I'll
get him to come down. I don't want to upset Faith."
"Faith?" Riley was confused. "As in
criminally insane Faith, who swapped bodies with you when we were in college?
The one you hate?"
Buffy bit her lip. "It's kind of a long
story." Riley grimaced, it always was. "But the upshot of it is," Buffy
continued. "Faith's changed her ways. She works for Angel now and we're sort of
friends again. Anyway, she's going through a major personal crisis and she's
staying with us for a while."
Riley shook his head. Maybe he was glad he
wasn't a part of Buffy's life anymore, the whole thing was so complicated he
didn't think he'd be able to keep up.
Buffy stuck her head out of the office
door. "Cordy," she called. "Can you give Angel a shout, tell him to come down
here."
The brunette lazily raised one eyebrow.
"Sure, but you might want to wait until he's had his breakfast first. You don't
want him snacking on your guest."
Riley smiled weakly at the obvious joke,
but got worried nonetheless. What exactly was he letting himself in for?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Faith stood
in the shower, tilting her face up to capture the warm spray. It mingled with
her hot tears and washed them away. Angel had been woken earlier, by Buffy's
movement about the apartment and had got up to talk to her. He reassured her
that he believed in her, he knew that whatever decision she made it would be
the correct one for her and whatever happened she could always turn to him for
support. She'd looked into his eyes and seen that he meant every word, but she
wished she could believe him. She wished she could find the strength in herself
to deal with this situation. Angel told her again and again that she was
strong, but she wasn't, not really. She just pretended to be. She pretended
that nothing bothered her, that she didn't care. And she got away with it,
because nobody else cared about her, so they let her be, let her destroy her
life. But now people did care, and she was going to let them all down, except
this time it wasn't just her own life she would be destroying.
"Gunn loves
you." Angel had told her. Faith was confused. She loved him. For so long she
had thought herself incapable of love, then Angel had come along. He had taught
her how to open her heart and let people in. Angel had been her rock, her
support, but Gunn was her fire and her light in the darkness. Faith never did
anything by halves, when she had fallen in love with Gunn she had done it
completely, with her entire being. Her body, her soul and her spirit they were
all his. Their relationship would never be smooth or quiet; they fought like
cat and dog. They would shout and scream at each other until they were both
exhausted then they would fall asleep in each other's arms. For them love and
hate were two sides of the same coin, they could not have one without the
other. And the anger she felt when they fought only stemmed from the passion
that existed between them.
The
heartache, though, that was new. She hadn't felt this lost and alone since she
had awoken out of her coma and came to LA. Then she truly had been alone, she
had alienated everyone she had once felt privileged to call her friends and had
hurt them in ways it was still painful to contemplate now. And you're gonna
do it again honey, if you don't get your act together, Faith's conscience
spoke to her. She looked down at her body, the one that would change so much in
the next few months if she chose to let it. Suddenly, something clicked. That
was the key. She had a choice in this. It was the same as it had been six years
ago. She had the power to choose the outcome of this situation. Last time the
choice had been between good and evil, now it was a lot less sinister but
equally life altering. The important thing was taking control, she couldn't let
events just drag her down with them, as she had done so before. And this time
she wasn't alone. This time she had friends to rely on. Angel at least had
promised he would be strong for her. Last time she had got through it with only
him standing by her side and now there was Gunn as well.
Faith turned
off the shower. The tears had stopped of their own accord now; she didn't need
the water to hide them anymore. She knew only one thing, that she was back in
charge of her future. The fear that had come when she had found out about her
pregnancy had mainly stemmed from the loss of her control. Her body was no
longer her own anymore. It had begun to do and feel things completely alien to
her. Now she had resolved to take that control back, she didn't feel as
frightened anymore. She wasn't any closer to making a decision. That would come
later, after she had discussed things further with Gunn. At least now, though,
she appreciated the decision was hers to make.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Angel was
concerned. He sat alone in his office, pretending to read a book. His eyes
focused on the pages but his mind was somewhere else entirely. Buffy had gone
for a run, saying she needed the exercise and the time to clear her mind. Three
guesses what she's going to be thinking about, Angel muttered to himself
darkly. His meeting with Riley that afternoon had gone as well as could be
expected. Buffy's ex-lover had been much politer to him that he had imagined
Riley was capable of and in return Angel had tried to be gracious. But the
meeting had still been stilted and awkward. And Angel had felt terrible
afterwards.
The whole
time he, Buffy and Riley had been in the office together Buffy had made her
affections towards Angel clear. She had sat in his lap, or held his hand. It
had been so they were in almost constant physical contact. But even though they
were touching physically Angel still felt distanced from Buffy whilst she was
talking to Riley. They had begun to discuss college and swapped stories they
remembered from that time. Buffy's eyes had lit up when they talked of Willow,
as she fondly remembered her lost friend. And all the time Angel felt himself
drifting further and further away from Buffy. She never talked about the past
with him, their past was too painful to remember and Buffy didn't want to share
happy memories of sunlight and friendship with Angel, for fear of upsetting him
over the things he'd never have. She didn't realise that it didn't matter to
him that he couldn't go out into the sun, she was his light, and experiencing
these things vicariously through her was enough for him. But now she didn't
even the chance to do these things. Angel was keeping her in the dark with him.
It shouldn't be this way, he thought. He'd let his selfishness get in
the way of what was best for Buffy, again.
There was
another thing that haunted him. The look on Buffy's face when she had found out
Faith was pregnant. It had been one of utter heartbreak. She had hidden it
quickly, though, rapidly returning her features to their previous impassive
state, but Angel had seen it and he knew what it meant. Buffy wanted children.
It was perfectly natural for her to do so; after all it was every woman's
purpose on this earth to bring forth the next generation. But it was another
thing that Angel couldn't give her and he hated to think of her missing out on
anything that she wanted because of him. Angel closed his eyes tightly. He
didn't want to lose her; he loved her more now than he ever had. But the pain
of seeing Buffy unhappy would far outweigh any pain he would feel due to not being
with her.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Faith
knocked nervously on the door to Gunn's apartment. She had a key and normally
she would just let herself in, but today she didn't even know what normal was
anymore. She felt like everything had changed. Maybe because it has, she
thought. She waited. There was no response. She considered knocking again, but
then her resolve gave out. She turned away to leave, just as the door opened.
Faith
whirled around. Gunn stood before her looking dishevelled and demoralised. His
nose was bandaged up, the white dressings looking even more shocking in
contrast with his dark skin. One eye was bloodshot and a large bruise spread across
his left cheek. He hadn't shaved and from the looks of the dark circles
underneath his eyes, neither had he slept. Upon seeing his injuries Faith could
almost physically feel the wave of guilt hitting her.
"Shit!" She
exclaimed. "I'm so sorry."
Gunn took
her into his arms and she let him. "So am I." He murmured into her hair.
They stood
like that for a long time. Each being the other's support. Knowing that whatever
crises may befall them, as long as they were together they could get through
it.
Eventually
they broke apart. "So, I guess this is where we have to do the talking thing." Faith
said awkwardly.
"Yeah, with
the emphasis on the talking bit rather than the yelling and screaming
bit." Gunn managed a weak grin.
"Ah, but
that's what I'm best at." Faith tried to joke in return, but it fell a little flat.
"So, who's gonna start?" She asked.
"Me, I
suppose." Gunn took hold of her hand. "I love you, Faith. And I'm sorry about
those things I said. I didn't mean to imply you'd be an unfit mother, it just
kinda came out." He grimaced. "Probably because I'm an ass."
"No, you're
right." Faith felt tears pricking her eyes again and blinked them back. "I probably
would be an unfit mother. I wouldn't have a clue even where to begin."
"Well, I
guess that makes two of us." Gunn jumped in. "I have about as much idea about
being a father as you have about being a mother. But I do know one thing. You
are strong. We're strong together. We can deal with this Faith, just as long as
you don't run away from me."
"I'm not going
to." She looked up into his eyes. "It's just that I'm scared about what's going
to happen to me. I don't even know if I'll be able to love this thing, let
alone give it the life it deserves."
"But you
want to find out, right?" Gunn held her gaze.
Faith
searched her heart for the answer to this question. She had pretended to be
unsure, but maybe she had known all along, she was just hiding her real feelings
behind self-doubt. She nodded. "Yeah, I do."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Buffy
finished showering after her run and went in search of Angel. What with all of
the recent goings on, Faith's revelations and Riley's visit, she had hardly had
a chance to spend any time alone with him. But now, with no business to attend
to and patrolling suspended for the evening due to the Faith/Gunn crisis, she
could devote all of her attention to Angel. She found him in his office working
on some new sketches. He always did this when he was thinking. Buffy leant over
the page to take a peek at what he was drawing but he covered the sketch up,
feigning modesty. She kissed him lightly on the forehead, then more forcefully
on the lips, laughter dancing in her eyes.
He set
aside the sketchbook and Buffy caught out of the corner of her eye a drawing of
herself, smiling happily, depicted perfectly by Angel's expert hand. She echoed
her expression from the sketch and settled herself in Angel's lap, resting her
head comfortably underneath his jawbone. He pulled his arms around her and
kissed the top of her head.
"We should
talk." He said lightly.
She twisted
round to see his expression. "About Faith?" She asked.
He thought
for a moment. "A little. But mainly about you and me."
"What about
you and me?" Buffy was worried; discussions with Angel about their relationship
had a tendency to end badly for her.
He
struggled to find the right words. "Buffy, when Faith announced she was
pregnant, you were jealous, weren't you?" He sighed. Buffy was astonished by his
words. "I saw the expression on your face when she told us." He continued. "And
that's OK if you want kids, Buffy. I understand. And I know that I can't give
you them, so if you want to find someone who can, someone like Riley," he spoke
with difficulty. "Then that's OK too."
Buffy leapt
up out of his lap, confusion and tears stinging her eyes. "Are you breaking up
with me?"
"No." Angel
answered her painfully. "That's the last thing I want. It's just I want you to
be happy and if that means having children and being with someone else then I
want you to go do that. You shouldn't feel tied to me Buffy. I'm trying not to
be selfish, I don't want you to stay with me just for my sake."
"I'm not." She
told him, speaking straight from her heart. "I love you so much. You're all I
want Angel. All I've ever wanted." She was crying properly now. "Maybe when I
first found out Faith was pregnant I did think it was a little unfair. That it
was happening to her and not to me. But I was just being unreasonable. I'm
happy with my life now. Happier than I've ever been before. And that's all because
of you. Kids would be nice, but I don't need them. I do need you, however, so
don't go scaring me like this again." She smiled at him.
"It's just when
I saw to talking to Riley about normal things. Parties, college, trips to the
beach. I thought that's what you should have. Not a life filled with vampires,
demons and darkness."
"I'm the
slayer, I don't really get a choice about the vampires and demons." She held a
finger to his lips. "And don't give me all that crap about being released from scared
duty, because you know as well as I do that as long as there's evil out there I'm
going to keep fighting it. Normal is highly overrated." She grinned widely. "I
prefer extraordinary myself. And as for Riley, there is absolutely no way I
want to be with him. I was never in love with him even when we were together and
I'm certainly not now. So, are you satisfied?" She asked. "Can we get on with
what I came down here to do?"
"What's
that?"
She leaned forward
and pulled him close to her, kissing him deeply on the lips. "This."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
All six of
the Angel Investigations team were gathered together in Angel's apartment. The
sense of tension and anticipation in the air was palpable. Faith and Gunn were
perched nervously together on the edge of the sofa and everyone else seated
around them waited anxiously for them to start speaking. Cordelia and Wesley had
both been informed of Faith's pregnancy and their reactions had been characteristic
of their personalities. Wesley had uttered a restrained 'Well I never' and Cordelia
had raised her eyebrows then gone back to reading her magazine. She was no
longer surprised by anything that happened to a member of their group, living on
a Hellmouth then working for a vampire had left her rather jaded. The one overriding
feeling she did have was that of mild annoyance, she had been looking forward
to yelling at Faith for ruining her party, but now the other woman was pregnant
Cordy supposed she would have to spend the next nine months trying to be
sensitive to her situation. Cordelia sighed.
"Well, somebody
say something already. John and I are supposed to have dinner plans you know?"
Gunn glared
at Cordelia who smirked back. "Me and Faith have something we wanted to tell
you all." He began.
"Yeah, we
gathered that much." Cordy said with impatience.
"Cordelia!"
Buffy, Angel and Wesley all cried.
"Perhaps
this would go faster if you stopped interrupting." Wesley added.
Cordelia settled
into a sullen silence and Gunn resumed his speech. "Anyway, we've talked about
it and we've decided to have the baby."
General murmurs
of surprise were uttered. Buffy got up and hugged Faith. Angel followed suit,
then shook Gunn by the hand. Wesley got overexcited and ended up hugging a very
reluctant Gunn. Even Cordelia managed to offer her congratulations. When
everybody had settled back down again, Gunn finished his speech.
"We know
this isn't going to be easy, but we also know that with help from all our
friends we can get through it. So, we wanted to thank you for all for your
support."
Angel leapt
up. "There's a bottle of champagne in the refrigerator. I think this is the
perfect time to have it." He and Buffy soon had the bottle opened and glasses poured
for everybody, except Faith of course who much to her dismay was presented with
orange juice because of her pregnancy.
Angel proposed
a toast. "To Faith and Gunn." They all raised their glasses. But before they
could drink Buffy interrupted.
"I have a
better one!" She told them all. "To the future." They all clinked glasses and repeated
the toast.
"To the future."
Faith and Gunn exchanged a private smile. "Whatever it may hold."
THE END
Author's Note ~ Phew, another long one. Sorry about that,
but well done if you got to the end. I really am going to have to stop writing
those Buffy/Riley post break-up confrontations, but I thought I was quite nice
to the guy considering how much I hate him. J Now, if you liked this and want the series
to continue then please let me know otherwise I'll assume everybody hated it and
never write another word. On the other hand, if that's what you'd prefer then you
can tell me that too. It may take me the next ten years to get over the trauma,
but I'm sure I'll recover eventually!
