Untouchable like a distant diamond sky
I'm reaching out and I just can't tell you why
Miley was sat on the window seat in her bedroom, looking out the window, admiring everything outside. It was raining rather strongly, the dark clouds casting an ominous shadow over the streets down the road. She reached her fingers out and touched the window, tracing the path of a raindrop as it fell down the pane of glass. Thinking back to this evening, her mind was reminiscing hers and Joe's argument.
"Why can't you just be happy for me, that I've finally found a guy that actually likes me?" She screamed at him, waving her arms around.
"Miles, he's just using you, why can't you see that?" Joe exclamied, coming up face to face with her. His face was a few inches from her, but she could still see the frustration in his face.
Then after, he left the house. No words, just gone.
Which brings the real reason why Miley was sitting there. Joe.
He was right, he was using her, after their heated argument, she went straight to her boyfriend's and found him, wrapped up in the sheets with a girl, having sex. He probably been cheating on Miley for the past couple weeks.
Damn she hated it when he wass right.
Though the thing was, Miley wasn't upset, or crying when she found out. She was actually relieved that he cheated on her because she couldn't care less about the bastard anyway. She was happy because she could finally be with the person she was in love with!
Joe Jonas.
She was in love with Joe Jonas. Her best friend.
For quite a while now, Miley's been confused about her feelings towards Joe, did she like him? Or was it just a little high school crush? But she understood what she wanted. She hadn't ever felt anything like what she was feeling just now. She wanted Joe. She wanted him to like her, forget his girlfriend, everything and to be with her. Even though she was pretty sure he hated her now. Or was at least aggravated by her.
As most of the time, he has been irritating towards Miley lately. He been becoming protective when she is dating someone, saying 'they're not good enough her'. Excuses. I'm pretty sure he wants me to die alone, she thought.
But then there are other times, where he's sweet and kind to her and they share jokes with her, when they're together. Whenever she really needs to talk to someone, he is there to consul her. Grudgingly, she'll admit. He always suggests someone else for her to tell her problems to, but he still listens when she refuses. And he always seems ready to protect her from the smallest little things.
A slight movement in the front yard below pulled her out of her thoughts. Joe. What was he doing back here? Hadn't he gone to see his girlfriend? He sauntered into the yard from the streets. His hair was plastered to his forehead, shirt clinging to his sculpted muscles like a second skin, because of the rain. He looked beautiful.
She understood that he was untouchable, something unreachable. He was dating Ashley and he was off limits. Everything about him was untouchable.
But she was caught up in Joe.
Looking back down at him, noticing that he hadn't moved from his spot where he entered the yard. Joe was bent at the hips, his hands resting on his knees like he was still trying to catch his breath. I guess he ran here, she thought.
The clouds broke but it was still raining, and the clouds didn't even part above him but, because of the time of day, the sun was angled so that its rays misted right across him. He looked up, like he could feel blue orbs on him, he glanced immediately up to where Miley was and their gazes locked.
This was the kind of look that she loved to get from him. It had only happened a couple times before but it felt incredible. She was warm all over, especially around her heart, feeling it spreading rapidly up her neck to her face. Realising she was blushing, her heart started beating wildly in her chest. She felt like she was coming undone, falling apart at the seams just from the intensity of that stare. Feeling like only by being closer to Joe could hold her together, but she felt like she should be dreaming. Nothing that felt this extraordinary could be real.
But then he looked away, running towards the house. Every time they shared anything that caused her to feel this way, he would disrupt it, that's how she knew she wasn't dreaming. If she was dreaming, it wouldn't have ended. It would have progressed into something more. What, she wasn't sure. She just knew that there had to be more to that.
Turning around, she sprinted out of the room, to go downstairs, many thoughts came running through my mind. He might not like me back, she thought. Actually, he most likely wouldn't. He's got Ashley, who he loves. But it couldn't hurt to try, right? She continued to scramble down the stairs that led her to the front door.
This is now or never...
On the other side of the doors, Joe was waiting, waiting for her to open the door to let him in from the pouring rain. She had to open it soon or he'd die of pneumonia. Reluctantly opening the door, she looked up at his face and instantly forgot what she was supposed to be saying. His expression caught her, he tried to keep his face calm, exempt of all emotion, but his chocolate eyes were nervous and excited and doubtful all at the same time. She found herself trying to decipher the odd combination but she couldn't think of anything that could make him look that way. It sort of aggravated her that he was trying to hide what he was feeling though. Trying to keep himself untouchable.
Moving out of the way, she let him enter the house, still noting that his body was drenched from the heavy rain. He looked amazing; she wanted more than anything was to be close to him. But that's not the point. This was it. Now or never. Looking up at his face, behind the nervousness, the doubtfulness, she could see that his excitement was the most prominent. It lit up his expressionless face.
She opened her mouth to tell him just how she felt, to blurt it all out, but at the same time, he opened his.
"Y-you go," She told him, even though she was about ready to burst with what she needed to say.
He probably noticed, from her nervous stutter, because he replied, "No, you."
Taking a deep breath to steady herself. This was something she definitely didn't want to stutter through. "Joe," she began, "I think, quite possibly, that I might, maybe, kinda..." He raised his eyebrow at her. She mentally chastised herself for dancing around the subject instead of just getting it out like she had planned. Another deep breath and then she let it loose. "Joe, I think I like you as more than just a friend. Maybe even love you." The second the words were out, part of her wished she could take them back. Though, they were true enough.
The when she looked at his face, the look on Joe's face only reinforced her regret. His carefully structured mask broke, revealing complete and utter disbelief. She wished she was dreaming so that she could wake up to realize that she hadn't actually said anything.
She wished that he had reacted different, said that we could be together, that he wanted me, too. But he didn't say anything. He just stood there and with each passing second she felt her heart crumpling more and more. He actually looked like he was about to be sick.
Great. I repulsed him so much that he was going to go hurl.
She couldn't take it anymore. She tried to step around him so that she could go run upstairs to my room and cry like the stupid little girl she was. But as she tried to pass him, he reached out and grabbed her upper arm in a gentle but firm grip.
"Miles, wait." His voice was hoarse, like his throat was really dry. Or like he was trying to hold down bile.
"No," She said, her voice cracking. She didn't want to hear his let down. To hear him speak the words would be the last straw. The tears she was trying so hard to contain would spill over if he spoke it. She tugged on his fingers, trying to get his grip to loosen. It didn't. "Let me go," She cried.
"No," he said. "I won't. Not until you listen to what I have to say."
"Speak then," She said, looking away in case the tears fell. Like raindrops.
"How can you...? Were you serious when...? You're not joking, right?" he finally got out. Joking? Is he serious?
"Why in the world would I joke about something like that?" She looked up at him now, completely hurt. The tears fell, leaving tracks down her delicate face.
When he looked at my pain-filled, tear-stained face, his face crumpled. He reached his hand up to wipe the tears off but she jerked her head away making him lower his hand. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just surprised." Then he started laughing. She swore to God, he was laughing. Laughing at her and her naivety? The tears were flowing steady. She broke her arm from his grip and tried again to walk up the stairs but he caught her and this time didn't let go, no matter how much she struggled.
"I'm laughing because I'm happy," he said. "I feel the same. I was just going to tell you. I have for quite a while but I thought you wouldn't like me back. I never thought; never in a million years that you could like me, let alone possibly love me."
She stopped struggling and looked him in the eyes. His gloriously, brown eyes. "How could you think I was repulsed by you? How could you have missed the signs I gave you?" Like trying to talk to him constantly, always wanting to be with him.
"I just thought that you were being nice." He shrugged. "I mean, look at me. I'm a jerk, selfish, and jealous. A complete jealous jerk." She opened her mouth to object but he was speaking again. "And look at you. You're so kind, and beautiful, and so perfect. Completely. We're total opposites." He looked like he believed that absolutely and it nearly broke my heart. "I kind of hoped that I might have had a chance, after I heard you broke up with Liam, I didn't want to let myself hope only to be disappointed later." Her arms wrapped around his waist, letting her head rest on his moist chest, listening to his heartbeat which she found relaxing at that moment. She didn't care if he was still wet, he felt loving and welcoming.
He was no longer untouchable.
He froze for a minute. Then, hesitantly, he put his arms around her as well. Now I'm glad that this wasn't a dream. Now I don't have to wake up. And now we're free to form our own dream, instead of going by a script my subconscious would have mustered up.
Silently, I urged him to say the words that I so desperately wanted to hear. When he didn't say them, I decided to go first. That's probably what he was waiting for.
"I love you," She told him. And she meant it. She knew now that it was absolutely true. She didn't just like him. She loved him.
"I love you," he answered. He turned my face upward and slowly started moving his face towards my own. He hesitated more than necessary, probably still thinking it might all be a joke. Getting impatient and she pulled him the rest of the way down, planting his lips on her.
And she got my little taste of heaven.
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