Title: Choices

Summary: I don't know what to do Greg. What do I choose? Work or family? Help me. Based on a scene from eppy 3.12 'I'd Do Anything'

Disclaimer: Ah you know write? Ed's with me and well yeah that's about it…lol

A/N: Okay I know three FP updates in a row *eeks guys* blame my hard working muse Alice - she never seems to sleep and was just so inspired by the awesome new eppy (A New Life) this week. So hope that's okay and hope you like this.

"Words in italics and double quotes – directly from the eppy."


From the moment he saw the perplexed maybe even panicked look on his team leaders face earlier in the day holding the piece of pink baby clothing, Greg knew that something just wasn't right with his team lead. That inner feeling was further cemented by terse comments and certain actions on the call that threw them all for a few loops and then dragged through the night and into the next day. Was it over exhaustion from work? Personal tension from home? Something else? Maybe with the team?

Greg waits quietly for Ed to enter the locker room and then watches his tense frame standing before his locker and hearing the very tormented sigh as the bag of baby clothes tumbles from the locker, missing his outstretched hands and landing in a messy pile on his feet.

Ed slowly bends down and picks up a small white sweater, a lump catching in his throat as his fingers gently fondle the delicate white yarn, his eyes wanting to sparkle with anguished tears, matching the small sparkly thread woven in the piece being held in his strong hands.

He looks up and catches Greg's wondering glance and knows he's just hung himself with the emotional short rope; the look in his boss's eyes is telling him a confession is forth coming and there is nothing he can do. Maybe this is what he needs though; having held in so much personal anguish for the past few months being home alone.

"Eddie…I gotta ask you about what happened at the club earlier. You hesitated at the door because you had a bad feeling or this thing at home leaking into work?"

"That's why you put me on the perimeter?"

"I'm glad I did."

"Okay Greg look we did the best we could with the information we had. If I woulda had a bad feeling I woulda said something."

"Would you?"

"I saw Sophie last night and she said that I have to choose."

"What do you mean?"

"It's her and the kids or…it's the job….it's the job. And what am I supposed to do now? What am I supposed to do?

Greg notices the stoic sapphires holding back tears and feels his own heart break. Ed was stuck. He loved the job more than most people he knows and his dedication goes beyond mere professional sentiment. But this…it wasn't fair to him and Greg knows that. But how could he take sides? How could he be the one to tell Ed what do to? Selfishly he wants him to say the job…emotionally…his family. To see him so tormented so anguished, a man so usually in control of the team and himself now so vulnerable and fragile was forcing him to ache inside as well. He'd been there already…made the wrong choice and lost his family by his own doing. Eddie was there now…what could he do? It wasn't his choice to make, but would he be able to just step aside and say nothing?

"Boss?"

"You know I can't make that decision for you right?"

"I know," Ed sighs as he tries to stand up.

Greg's hand quickly clamps down on his arm and pulls him back to a seated position. "I chose my job Eddie…I chose...other things...I screwed up my life and lost my family, almost for good, maybe I did. My ex hates me…my son…Eddie he doesn't even know me," Greg offers a tormented sigh. "What should you choose? How can I be the one to tell you that?"

"I hate coming home to an empty home but…when we first got married it was different and…you know I…" Ed pauses as he looks over at Greg. "Others have both. Wordy does and…he makes it work."

"You can't compare yourself because that isn't fair to you or Wordy. Resentment will only build, trust me I know," Greg nods, giving him a small smile. "Is there um…any compromise you both can make?"

"I don't know…okay? I don't know…I've tried talkin' to her but um…I don't know," Ed sighs as he finally pulls away and stands before his locker. "I don't know," he growls as his fist slams into the open metal door, Greg slightly jumping as the sound echoes in the stillness of the room.

"Eddie…"

"Greg I'm fine. It's something I hafta handle on my own right?"

"What do you want me to tell you?" Greg lightly begs, his team leaders tense back still to him. "Take the job? Sure take the job…give up your family. Let your kids become some distant weekend visitors and then you can spend the rest of the time cursing me instead of you own personal neglect," Greg says, his words stinging Ed's inner core. "Take the family and give up the one job I know you love more than any others. Sure put in for a teaching job or a desk job and a few months of you sitting and pushing papers you pull a gun and either shoot yourself or those around you," Greg finishes with a small smirk, pulling Ed's tormented gaze back to him.

"I can't pick for you…both…both are deeply personal and mean a lot to you."

"I want them both, I can't choose," Ed turns back with a curse. "I can't choose," he whispers as he turns back with a grunt.

Greg stands up and pats Ed on the back and just shakes his head; it was the worst crossroads anyone in their profession could be faced with. In one sense he knows that it's against protocol for Sam and Jules to have dated but at the same time they had their professional worries out of the way – well for the most part. Sophie didn't understand the same as Jules did. Ed's devotion to his family and to the team were almost the same – he'd die for both. He couldn't fault Sophie for giving Ed the ultimatum but at the same time doesn't want to lose one of the best.

"Greg…"

"Go home…get some sleep and…"

"Go home…yeah," Ed sighs as he pulls his jacket out and then turns to Greg with a heavy frown. "I think I'll go for a drive."

"Ed…"

"I can't choose Greg. You know that," Ed turns to him sharply. "I can't."

And without saying another word, Ed pushes past Greg and storms toward the exit doors, pushing into them and allowing them to slam behind him. Greg just shakes his head before he slowly turns and heads toward his own locker to get changed and head home. Eddie, just don't do something you'll really regret.

Not wanting to go home and face another night alone in a house that only greets him with empty arms and echoed loneliness, Ed turns his car in the opposite direction and heads for a very familiar place. He enters the bar, not looking at anyone and just slumping down on the stool and barking for a glass of whiskey.

"Rough night Eddie?" The familiar bartender asks softly.

"Yeah," Ed nods at the older man on the other side of the counter. "And no…I don't want to talk about it. Just keep this…coming," he instructs as he takes a hearty swig of the golden poison, letting it bite his insides until it's swirling around in his empty stomach; dancing with the angry acid at the bottom.

"Choose…why the hell do I have to choose?" Ed asks angrily as he takes another hearty swig, downing the contents and merely allowing the small glass to slam to the countertop, drawing a few inquiring glances in his direction. "Another," he demands.

"Ed you've had two full double shots and no food."

"Your job isn't to question me," Ed growls as he narrows his gaze. "I want another and I want it now, understand?"

"You better not be driving home after this," the bartender states firmly as he fills Ed's glass with only a half shot, showing him the empty bottle and telling the very drunk SRU team leader that he had to get another. However, when he gets into the back, he picks up the phone and calls a familiar friend.

"I think he drove here and um…well Greg I don't know what's up but it looks bad. He keeps talking about a choice and then drinking. He's not eaten anything and…"

"And yeah Ed Lane drunk is a force to be reckoned with. I'm on my way, just keep him there – if you can."

Greg heads for his hall closet and then pulls on his coat and shoes, shaking his head as he grabs his wallet and keys and darts into the hallway toward the elevator. "Eddie…just don't do anything stupid."

Ed's nearly glassed over gaze stares absently at the bottom of his empty glass, his head pounding and heart racing. Standing wasn't an option right now as every time he moves his head too fast, small black circles form before his eyes and he has to squeeze them shut in order for them to clear.

"Choose…damn it why the hell doesn't she hafta choose?" Ed grumbles as he looks back up at the bartender. "I want another."

"Ed, you've reached your limit."

"I half not," Ed slightly slurs his request and then stops. "Have…I have not," he restates. "You can't say no."

"Actually I can. It's for your own good, trust me."

"My own good," Ed snorts. "As if you'd know what that is…my own good…my own damn good," he continues to talk in a heated tone to himself just as Greg enters. He nods toward the older man and then casts a remorseful gaze at the obvious emotional plight of his troubled team leader. He has to get Eddie away from this place before he ends up doing something really stupid.

"Hey Eddie. How ya doing?"

"Greg…you called my boss?" Ed hisses toward the older man. "Traitor."

"Actually I was passing by."

"Right…you want a drink?" Ed asks in sarcasm.

"Not right now," Greg lightly smiles.

"Right because you always make the right choice," Ed frowns as he turns away.

"Have you had dinner yet?" Greg asks, ignoring Ed's statement as he wasn't about to get into a discussion about his own sordid past with alcohol.

"I'm not…hungry," Ed slightly stammers, his core on fire and his head pounding even harder. "I choose the job…okay."

"Alright let's get you home and…"

"I'M NOT GOING HOME!" Ed shouts, forcing a few more to quickly glance in their direction. "I don't want to be alone okay?"

Greg looks at him in sympathy and nods. Taking Eddie home to an empty home and leaving him there all alone in his condition would only spell disaster. He would take him to his apartment and let him spend the night; at least he could keep an eye on his very inebriated friend.

"Okay Eddie…" Greg's hand rests on his arm. "Time to go."

"I'm not going home."

"Fine, you're not going home."

"Where are we going then?" Ed asks, still not looking at Greg.

"Come on Eddie," Greg sighs as his fingers clamp down a bit further.

"I'm not…leaving," Ed insists as he jerks his arm free. "I don't think I should hafta choose. She should choose…it's her fault anyways right?"

"Why don't we finish this at home okay?"

"I'm not…going…home!" Ed hisses as he looks at Greg in anger.

"You are going to regret this tomorrow."

"Well you're the drunk you would know right," Ed growls as he turns back, not seeing the wince on his friends face for his thoughtless remark. "Leave me alone."

"I can't do that. Eddie you come with me now or…"

"Or what? You'll make me?" Ed goads with a snicker. "Yeah right…you?" He turns back and then looks at the bartender. "I'm bigger and stronger. Why the hell is this glass empty?"

Greg nods to the bartender who takes the glass, leaving Ed's hands free. Then without Ed being able to react, Greg's fingers clamp on his right hand, jerk it behind his back and enclose a handcuff on it; doing so with the left until his team leader was effectively restrained. It was only because he is drunk and his reflexes slow that Greg was able to overpower him so easily, reasoning it was for his own good and thankful he could stop him from driving home.

"Greg, damn it," Ed curses as he struggles in futility while Greg pays his bar tab. "You better undo these," he warns angrily.

"Come on Eddie…time to go," Greg states softly as his hand latches onto Ed's taught upper arm and pulls him from the stool, careful to make sure that he didn't stumble to his knees or fall and hurt himself.

"Greg…"

"Ed I warned you and now you are coming with me."

"I don't want to go home," Ed moans as they reach Greg's car.

"I know buddy…I know. You're not going home," Greg agrees softly as he helps Ed inside. He belts him in before starting for his own apartment, listening to Ed ramble on about the tormented ultimatum his wife was forcing him to think about. He has no answers and coming to Ed's rescue tonight wasn't about sitting down and helping him reach a conclusion – Ed has to do that on his own; a discussion with other principal member of the Lane household. He just wants to keep him safe and from doing harm to himself or someone else; heaven forbid he actually got behind the wheel in his condition – knowingly or not.

By the time they reach Greg's underground parking, Ed's gone quiet for the most part, the copious amounts of the strong alcohol paired with lack of food and sleep was forcing the team leader's system to shut down faster than expected.

"Greg…"

"It's okay Eddie, we're here now," Greg says in a low tone as he helps Ed from his car. "I'll uncuff you in my apartment."

"I won't stay."

"You'll stay," Greg smiles as they get into the elevator.

He watches as Ed rests his head against the cool elevator panel and close his watery eyes. There's nothing really he can say and he knows it; whatever the decision could mentally kill them both. It's gonna be okay? Why would he offer such a bold faced lie? He lets them into his quiet apartment and then takes Eddie to his bedroom and helps him sit down.

"Eddie…"

"I can't choose," Ed whispers in anguish, raising his watery gaze to his friend. "I need my family and I need this job…I can't choose. Help me."

"I will," Greg nods as he slightly bends Ed forward and undoes the handcuffs.

Ed slumps down on the bed on his side, his somewhat cloudy vision fixed ahead on the closet, not blinking in response to Greg's movements.

"Just rest now okay?" Greg says softly as he covers Ed with a blanket and then turns off the light. It wasn't long before the double shift, lack of food and emotional torment, take its toll and Ed's fast asleep. Greg leans in the doorway and frowns as he watches over Ed's unmoving frame. It wasn't going to be a fun night for either of them but he knows that if he was facing a dark hole, Ed would be there for him; it's just what they do for each other. With that he turns and heads into the small spare bedroom, keeping the hall night light on just in case.

Sure enough a few hours later, Greg's awoken from his light slumber in the small spare bedroom by Ed throwing up in the bathroom.

"Ah damn it," Ed groans as he slowly stands back up to see Greg watching and holding out a glass of water for him to rinse with. "Greg…"

"You'd do it for me buddy."

"My head…"

"I know. How's your stomach?"

"The same," Ed huffs as he takes the water, rinses and then hands Greg back the glass. A few seconds of silence build between them before Ed dares to break it again. "Greg, I'm sorry…I uh…I don't remember much except I was at the bar and um…"

"It's okay," Greg tries to assure him. "It was a bad choice, that's all."

"Choices…god I hate making them," Ed states lightly, drawing a small terse smile to Greg's face. "Did I…Greg if I said anything that was outta line or…"

"It's all good. We're good."

"You sure? Because if I said something…then I'm sorry. Greg I'm sorry."

"I know. Double shift…tense case…too little food…too much strong drink…lack of sleep and emotional turmoil…takes its toll even on a strong guy like you. Speaking of strong…sorry for the cuffs."

"Figured I didn't go peacefully," Ed smirks.

"Hey at least you weren't armed."

"At least," Ed agrees with a heavy sigh. "Greg…"

"Ed, we're good, no harm was done okay?"

"Okay."

"How ya feelin'?"

"I um…I don't want to go home…alone. Mind if…I spend the rest of the night here?"

"Well I hafta wash the sheets anyways so sure and you are eating my breakfast in the morning."

"Might be gone before then," Ed lightly chuckles.

"Might not," Greg smiles as they leave the bathroom. "Remember I do outrank you."

"Not fair."

They pause in the hallway before Ed turns back to Greg with a heavy frown.

"Thank you…I know you can't make the decision for me and that the um…the choice is mine but…thank you. For even just being here."

"It's what we do Eddie; we take care of each other. Goodnight."

"Okay…goodnight."

Greg watches Ed head back into his darkened bedroom, hears him fall back onto the double mattress and his breathing slow. The choice was far from over, and he knows that Ed won't have an easy time of it and there was really nothing he rightfully do to change or affect the outcome either way. All he could to is be there for his friend and assure him that no matter what the choice he makes he wouldn't have to face it alone.

THE END!


A/N: okay I kinda got carried away and hope this wasn't too long, but I do love writing angst lol so hope you all liked it and continue to like these Ed-centric one shots and please do review before you go (it lets me know to keep going or stop) and thanks so much in advance!