After he pulled into Mrs

'Til Death Do Us Part One

After he pulled into Mrs. Summer's driveway, Xander put it in neutral and set the parking brake.

Just before he turned off the ignition, his breath caught in his throat and he said a little prayer. Usually, the

Skunk Wagon would snorkel and backfire when starting up or shutting off. Clicking off the key, Xander exhaled gratefully when his prayer was answered by blissful silence, and he turned to look into Buffy's eyes. "Is she still asleep?"

"Un-huh, she's still out – she was even snoring for awhile. It's a shame to wake her up."

"Don't! I'll carry her inside."

Buffy smiled to herself as Xander quietly closed the driver's side and crept around the front of his ancient station wagon to open the passenger door. Then, as carefully as a surgeon, he slowly removed the sleeping teen from Buffy's lap. As quiet as mice they made their way to the front step where Joyce was waiting.

"This way Xander, she sleeps in Buffy's old room." Joyce whispered. Xander smiled and slowly followed Joyce up the stairs. Buffy followed behind, suddenly feeling strange in her own house. Buffy's bed was turned down already; Joyce was really enjoying her new mothering gig. Xander gently laid his burden down. "I'll tuck her in, you two go downstairs, there's hot cocoa in the kitchen." Xander turned to go, but a tiny, tired voice stopped him.

"Xaannderr…"

"Yes Dawn, I'm here…"

"I'm sorry for what happened…"

"Don't be silly, it's not your fault…"

"But I wanted tonight to be special…"

"It was! We were having a good time weren't we? We road every ride at the fair twice, AND had every type of food! That sounds like a good time to me."

"But I ruined it – "

Buffy moved to Xander's side at the bed "Shhh, no more of that. We talked about this – It's not your fault, and I don't want you to even think that, okay?"

"Okay. G'night you guys, I'm really tired…"

Joyce took Xander's place at the bedside. "Scoot, you two – this young lady needs her rest. I'll help her change." Xander and Buffy made their way to the kitchen. Xander collapsed into a dinette chair, while Buffy poured the cocoa, then sat down.

"Wow…You know, after four years of this stuff, you think you've seen it all…"

"Yup, nothing like the Hellmouth to keep the surprises coming…"

There was a comfortable silence as they sipped and slurped their cocoa. Buffy finally broke it.

"Xander?"

"Yeah?"

"What are you going to do?"

"What?"

"About Dawn."

"What about Dawn?"

"Come on Xander, not even you are that blind. She has a HUGE crush on you and you know it."

"Oh…That…"

"Yeah, that…"

"I don't know, let her down easy I guess, give her the old 'Just Friends' speech – "

"Xander, if you hurt her, so help me I'll – "

"Buffy, I love that little girl. She's like the younger sister I never had…Well, except for Willow."

"Yeah, me too…You know it's funny, all of us being Only Children, it's a little strange, don't you think?"

"Well, we do live on the Hellmouth – Strange is normal here…And like Giles says: 'Everything happens for a reason.' If we had siblings, we wouldn't be as close as we are."

"True…Xander, you can't hurt her! She's at a delicate stage right now; she's just coming to grips with her powers. It was bad enough when I became the Slayer, but at least I had Merrick showing me the ropes. We have no idea what is going to happen with her. You HAVE to be careful!"

"And careful I WILL be…But Buffy, there's no way around it – She's going to be hurt…"

"No…"

"Buffy, why do you think they call them crushes? Because of how good they make you feel?"

"I know, but isn't there some way - "

"No, I'll just have to let her know how important she is to me, while I'm ripping her heart out."

"Omigosh, do you have to put it that way?"

"Reality is a harsh mistress, I know, but she's tough. She'll be all right. It may take her awhile, but she'll get over me. I'm all right, aren't I?"

"In a very weird way you're the most all right person I know, but what are you talking about?"

"Come on Buffy, you know what I'm talking about…"

"Anya?"

"No, not Anya. I'm mean sure, it's tough when your girlfriend leaves you to become a demon again, and I'm still a member of the walking wounded, but that's not what I'm talking about. We were discussing the pain of teenage crushes…"

"Oh…OH!" Buffy felt herself blush and the kitchen table suddenly became very interesting.

"It's okay Buffy…You can look at me." Buffy peeled her eyes from the table and forced herself to look at Xander. His chin was down, but he was smiling his crooked grin, and his warm brown eyes were gentle.

"She'll get over me, just like I got over you…"

"You got over me?"

"Sure did!"

"Since when did you get over me?"

"Since…I don't know, a long time ago."

"No way! You tried to kiss me last spring!"

"No I didn't – "

"Yes you did! In the Initiative, you kissed me on the stairs!"

"We were undercover – "

"Scientists and soldiers don't go around kissing each other – "

"Some do – "

"How would you have known, it was your first time in there?"

"So you're telling me that you never kissed Riley in the Initiative complex?"

"We never – Look what difference does it make if – "

"It's a simple question Summers, no need to make a production out of it!"

"Look 'Harris', you're just trying to avoid the topic. You kissed me and - "

"All I'm saying is that kissing went on in that complex! Maybe not a lot, but – "

"You are so full of it! You kissed me because you still have a thing for me!"

"No…I don't…All right I did…I still did …at that time, but I don't anymore, honest!"

Buffy stared at him and sipped her cocoa.

"Seriously. Listen, I told you about the dream I had, when the First Slayer came after us, right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Well, in that dream, you called me 'Big Brother', right?"

"But Xander, you're not my brother – "

"Duh! I know that, I'm not suggesting some sort of twisted Luke and Leia thing here, I'm just saying it got me thinking…about us…"

"Us?"

"Yeah, you and me…Us."

"And…"

"I just realized that, that's how you see me, right? I'm like a brother to you right?"

"Well, sort of…not really though, I mean; in a way – yes, but – "

"Well, that was it! Something just clicked when I thought of you that way, as my sister – "

"But Xander – "

"No wait, hear me out. It was like this tremendous burden was gone. All the energy I wasted – "

"Wasted?"

"Yes, wasted…You don't think of me like that, like I thought about you, and you never will – "

"Xander I – "

"Buffy, it's okay. You don't have to apologize, not anymore." Xander's hand slid across the tabletop and captured hers. "Buffy, I'll always be here. I've got your back; I'm never going to leave you. We're in this thing together. It's just so much easier since I let it go…"

"Okay…I'm glad you're here Xander. I need you beside me; you're my strength. Like it was in the joining spell – you're my heart…"

There was silence as the two friends stared into each other's eyes. Finally, Xander broke his gaze off when he found himself blushing. "Besides, I actually like Riley, I really do. We've been hanging out a lot lately; he's a good man. You deserve a good man."

"You mean as opposed to a vampire with a soul."

"I didn't say that, but yes, I suppose I do. Not that I hate Angel anymore…"

"You don't?"

"No, I don't. That's something else I realized lately. I respect him. I hate what he is, but I respect him."

"Why, Xander?"

"Because he loved you enough to let you go."

There was another lingering silence. Buffy felt a tear running down her cheek. Xander's hand gently brushed it away. Her hand came up and caught his, pressing it against her cheek. "Who are you?"

"What?"

"Who are you and what have you done with Xander?"

Xander laughed. "It's still me. I'm still here."

"You can't leave me. I need you too much."

"I'll never leave you. 'Til death do us part…'Til death do us part."