A/N: Nyaaa, I write soo~ many Naruto fics! Every time I think about it I get this weird feeling that I'm being ridiculous, for some reason. Like someone's going to look at my profile and say, "Why does she write so many damn Naruto fics?" T^T
Oh well... they're addicting.
And just to add in this useless tidbit of information... about the title - my way of thinking was, Sasuke is too busy looking at the individual pieces of the picutre, that he just can't see it as a whole. Ah, Sasuke. He's just that naive.
It wasn't something that was easy to understand, but then again, nothing ever is when it comes to Sasuke Uchiha. Most things in life completely bewildered him, after all. So many things he didn't understand as a child, and then the murder of his family. He'd never fully understood why Itachi had done it, even now he didn't know. Itachi had been his big brother, someone Sasuke had really looked up to. So that was strike one.
Then there were all the adoring fangirls, the praise of so many schoolteachers, being looked up to himself by nearly all of his classmates. Those were things that Sasuke had really never understood. What the hell was their problem? Did he had a magical fairy stuck to his back the he didn't know about - one that made everyone fall in love with him or something? And then of course, there was Naruto Uzumaki. Strike number two. Naruto - the kid who'd always hated him, and yet set his standards by him. The one who'd always secretly wanted to be close to him, and the one who'd actually managed that with time.... No, Sasuke really did not understand Naruto, or their fucked up friendship, but it took too much effort to sort it all out, and gave Sasuke a headache whenever he thought on it anyway.
What is strike three you ask? Probably the least imaginable person on earth. Kakashi Hatake, the great copy ninja of Konoha himself. Really, everything about Kakashi was an absolute mystery, starting with his silver hair. Silver hair on a man still so young. And his sharingan eye. He'd eventually explained it to Sasuke, but it was still something that seemed shrouded in that mystery -- something secret, something private, and painful. Then there was the mask the man wore. Why Kakashi felt the need to hide a perfectly handsome face behind such a offensive little piece of cloth, Sasuke would never know.
Everything about Kakashi was like that. His past, his present, his future. His silence, his ability to smile at the most inopportune times, his grave seriousness when it came to the safety of his students... and of course, his addiction to those damn Icha Icha books. Sasuke strongly disapproved of those books, and Kakashi knew it, and Kakashi didn't care. At first he'd playfully try to sneak reading them - but since it irked Sasuke so much, now he made a point of bringing out the offensive little orange thing whenever the Uchiha was around.
And then there were the other things - things that no one else but Sasuke knew about. Like, the rough edge to Kakashi's voice at night, whenever Sasuke was lying in his bed. Or the way his hands sometimes lingered over Sasuke's lips, gentle, and wanting. The way his eyes took on a shade of guilt, and how he hesitated to touch him whenever Sasuke snuck into the man's apartment at night.
Then there was the relationship itself. There were so many things about the bond between the two of them that Sasuke didn't fully comprehend. Like what their relationship status even was for example. Somewhere along the line, they had moved to a place beyond just sensei and pupil. So what did that make them really? They were not dating, they most certainly were not boyfriends. (Ha. Ha. Very funny.) Ew. And don't even say "butt buddies." So much ew. (Although, it was not as if the term had no grounds for standing... they did have sex after all.)
Sometimes Sasuke didn't understand why he wanted so much for the relationship to be secret. Whenever he was with Kakashi alone at night, and he felt the bliss of being held in someone's arms, the warmth that had been gone from his life for so long... he wondered why Kakashi felt ashamed, and he wondered why they couldn't just tell the world. Of course, thinking logically, Sasuke knew perfectly well the reasoning behind these things.
As much of a pervert as everyone thought him to be, Kakashi had not really wanted this relationship at first. Well, he had wanted it - but felt guilty about it, because Sasuke was so much younger, so much more fragile, and Sasuke was his student, of all things. Not to mention the fact that they were both male - by all definitions, their relationship was "wrong." And of course they couldn't just tell people, because if any of the Sasuke Uchiha fangirls (or any of his friends or classmates or teachers, for that matter) found out that he was in a sexual relationship with another man, there would be riots in the streets. Not to mention one very dead Kakashi Hatake.
Maybe the mystery hanging over the situation was what Sasuke loved about it so much. Perhaps that was the reason why he returned here, to Kakashi's arms, night after secret night.
Or maybe, just maybe, it was another reason entirely.
