April 14th 2013...

My name is Lisa Loud, I'm a 6 month old only child and,

today, I'm writing the first page of my diary.

Potential future readers might think this is a joke, but

it's not. I don't know whether my mother, Rita Loud,

ate something radioactive when she was pregnant or

it was just a random genetic mutation that occurred

by itself but I was born able to utilize a large part of

my brain's capabilities. Normal humans can utilize only

roughly 2% of what their brain is really capable of; well,

in my case, this percentage exceeds 50%!

Hearing just a few words and sentences from any

language is enough for my brain to automatically

figure out the patterns, grammar and even the idioms

of that language. I could already speak my mother

tongue fluently by the time I was 1 month old. By the

time I was 4 months old, I had already learnt 73

languages.

Also, just browsing through any book for a fraction of

a second is enough for my eyes to catch all its contents

and my memory to absorb every piece of knowledge

in it!

Although I have proven I am more than capable of

living as an adult, my parents remain in denial phase

and have unreasonable demands from me, such as

that I stay in my bar surrounded baby bed till they

feel like taking me out!

I have no time to waste with their nonsense. I have

to perform my experiments. I need more lab rats as

well. Or should I say lab humans! Please, don't get me

started with morality; anything is acceptable for the

sake of science! That's why I asked my parents to get

me more siblings.

When they started laughing, I told them that, if they

have forgotten how kids are born, I could remind them,

then I showed them a slide show with details about

how the copulating process is conducted; it even had

pictures with examples so that I would make sure that

my mentally deficient parents would understand. For

some reason, my mother almost fainted and my father

became mad and told me that I was grounded. Hah!

As if the way I lived already, forced to spend the

greatest part of my day in a baby room full of useless

toys was any different from grounding!


June 1st 2013...

I can sneak out of my house more easily lately, since I

started drugging my parents; making a substance that

will safely put them to sleep, even using whatever I can

find in the kitchen, is super easy for a genius like me.

Now the first thing I need to do is build up the capital

needed for my scientific experiments. After a lot of careful

consideration, I deduced that the best way to get the

kind of money I need is to play at the stock market.

And so, after stealing some cash from my parents, I

went to invest. It's not as hard as it sounds, if you have

my brain, that is! Predictions are nothing more than

taking probabilities into consideration, so, for someone

like me who can predict all solar eclipses for the next

6000 years, knowing what shares to buy to become

rich is a walk in the park.


August 30th 2013...

Thanks to my riches, which I have in secret bank accounts,

unbeknownst to my parents of course, I now have my

own, fully equipped lab. Also, I have cameras installed

at every room of the house and I have even put microchip

implants in my parents' bodies; it never hurts to know

where your lab rats are!

I have invented a lot of inventions that will shock the

world, but I will keep them hidden for the time being,

since, either I like it or not, I cannot claim a patent for

any of those before I become an adult (cursed laws).

However, the invention that I am still struggling to perfect

is the DNA modificator that turns species into different

species.

I don't know how many years it might take. Maybe I

will buy animals to try it on in the future...


January 18th 2015...

I conducted the first experiment with my DNA modificator.

I tried it on ten rabbits I had bought and raised in my

lab. They all turned into humans successfully, but there

were plenty of glitches.

The physical age of each of the nine human forms produced

by the experiments is different: I got a boy aged 10,

two twin girls aged 5 and seven girls aged 16, 15, 14,

13, 12, 7 respectively and a newborn female baby.

For the time being, I keep them in cages. Their growls

are annoying, but I have to endure the ordeal for the

sake of science.

I hope I manage to teach them how to speak human

language soon. Also, perhaps I need to get them some

clothes, because seeing them naked is a little... dunno...

weird... even for me!


April 9th 2016...

I have managed to successfully teach the subjects the

human language. Well, except the baby, since its brain

is too undeveloped yet.

Their human bodies seem to age normally, considering

they all are now one year older.

Thanks to my brainwasher (an invention I perfected in

2014), I implanted fake memories to all ten of them as

well as to my parents and some other close relatives,

making them believe that we all are a large, happy

family.

It seems there are still some glitches though. For example,

the 16 year old girl seems less mentally capable than

a normal human. Also, the 11 year old boy's hair kept

his rabbit fur color and he sometimes talks to some

invisible audience, though none of his 'siblings' seems

to be aware of that happening.

Darn, my DNA modificator still requires a lot of work to

be perfected.


May 2nd 2016...

I don't know how much more time it will take before my

DNA modificator is perfected. I started being afraid that

my lab rats might grow up and leave for college or I

might even die of natural causes before I can achieve

my life's goal!

So, I used one of my perfected inventions to freeze time

for the time being (no pun intended; scientists don't

make puns). Actually, I was inspired to make that

invention one day when I watched an episode from

the 'Fairly Oddparents' cartoon, where it turns out that

the main character made a secret wish and stayed a

10 year old boy for 50 years.

The idea behind my invention is largely the same; time is

nothing more than a fourth dimension. Once I activated

my time freezer, the effects of its passage halted not

only for me but seemingly for the rest of the world.


June 15th 2018...

Actually, it's 2018 only from my perspective; for the

rest of humanity, it's still 2016. That year repeats itself

over and over. No, humans' memories are not erased

after every repetition; I realized this one April Fools day,

when my parents and 'siblings' remembered the pranks

Luan had played on them the previous April Fools days.

It seems that, since the effects of the passage of time

stopped, the whole humanity's minds 'froze' in a certain

situation as well, so nobody wonders why they don't

age.

Anyway, I'll undo the time freezer's effects when I

have managed to perfect my DNA modificator... and

maybe some other inventions too.

Truth be told, I have got used to those annoying

rabbits I turned into humans. I'll miss them if they

go. Perhaps I could chill and spend a few decades...

or a few centuries with them before deactivating

the time freezer. Why being in a rush?