Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter(TM), and in no way affiliated with JK Rowling. I'm not an actor in any of the movies, and I don't live in England. I don't know any actors, and all I gain from this is the pain of writers' block. Thank you, and have a nice day.

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Chapter One: Rejection

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"Aaah! Look at Potter! He's looking as handsome as ever this term!"

"Waah, I never knew you liked him too! Isn't he hot, Lily?"

"...If you say so..." Lily rolled her eyes. Every time James Potter walked by, her friends would all start swooning. She didn't see it; there was nothing incredibly distinctive about him - he was a prankster, and he was never serious about his schoolwork.

"Eeeeek! He's coming this way!" A girl nearly collapsed on the floor, her face bright red, blushing.

"Hey Lily." James Potter leant towards the wall, his hazel eyes firmly fixed on Lily Evans.

"Kyaaaa! He's talking to Lily again!!!"

"Waaah what a lucky girl!"

Lily turned her head in disgust. His face was literally 5 cm from hers, and he was smiling that cocky smile he always had on.

"Will you go out with me?" James asked smoothly. Another girl fainted on the grass.

"...No Potter, I will not go out with you. You've asked me at least 5 times in the past 2 days, and the answer is always going to be no. Why won't you stop bugging me?!" Lily stormed off the opposite direction, leaving James standing there, looking clueless and dejected.

"But - What did you - Wait - Huh?"

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Laughter roared from the Gryffindor boy's dormitory.

"She - HAHAHAA - She rejected you AGAIN?!?!?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!? NO, YOU CAN'T BE!! I'M SIRIUS! YOU - HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!" Sirius was clutching his stomach, tears of laughter streaming down his face, his features contorted into an expression of absolute pain because he couldn't stop laughing.

"GEEZ! It seems I can get any girl except for the one I want! What's wrong with me?!" James was scratching his head, brows furrowed in frustration.

"I dunno, maybe she just doesn't like boys like you." Peter said in a small voice.

"What do you mean?! No girl can resist James Potter!"

"Then, maybe she... you know... doesn't like guys. If you know what I mean..." Peter's cheeks turned pink.

"WHAT? There's no way a girl that I like would be... um, not like guys." James slumped down on his bed. "...Right? Sirius? Back me up here?"

"Pfft, no way Peter. Are you sure you're human? I mean, I know you're a rat, but even rats could see the eyes she's been throwing at Remus all year... She's obviously straight."

Remus stopped reading the page he was on.

"What? You think Evans likes me?" He laughed. Then he quickly added, "Don't worry James, I'm not interested in her," when he saw the expression on his face.

"Yeah, everyone knows Remus is gay." Sirius joked. Remus rolled his eyes and went back to reading.

"Why don't you just be yourself, you know. Maybe she doesn't like you acting so charming all the time..." Peter sat down.

"Haaa, lovely advice, Peter. That's definitely scored you hundreds of girlfriends," Sirius rolled his eyes, making Peter turn pink. "Listen mate, you're just not macho enough for her. Girls like that aren't satisfied with simply charming. They want a real MAN, you know? Not a... a girl like you! No offence, but look at you, 15 and not even any chest hair."

"Oh, thanks Sirius. And what about you?!" James lay down.

"HA! I happen to have 2 chest hairs! I'm much more manly than you'll ever be!" To emphasise his point, he stuck his chest out. "D'ya want to see?"

"Not really, Sirius." Remus turned around, so he could avoid the sight of his embarrassing friends.

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"HEY LILY." A deep voice boomed from across the common room.

"Wha - Potter? What's wrong with your voice? And why do you have a moustache drawn in marker on your face?"

"NO REASON. I'M A LOT MORE MANLY NOW THAN I WAS A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO. DON'T YOU THINK?"

Lily shook her head in disgust.

"What do you want, Potter?"

"WILL YOU GO OUT WIV' ME?"

"I'd rather kiss a donkey that's rolled in compost." Lily replied calmly, and walked up to her dormitory.

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"Gee, I thought you were brilliant, I dunno what's wrong with her!" Sirius patted his friend on the back. James continued sulking on his bed.

"Why don't you just give it up, I mean, it's not like she'll like you anytime soon," Remus yawned, "just go out with some other girl; everyone else seems to love you to bits."

"That's it! Remus my fellow, you're a genius!" Sirius had a huge grin on his face. "Listen James, just ask one of her friends to go out with you! They're bound to say yes!"

"...But I don't like any of her friends. I only like Lily!" James sighed depressingly.

"Ah, but women are jealous creatures! Once she sees you with one of her friends, she won't be able to keep her eyes off you!" Sirius stood up and did a superman pose.

"Super Sirius, saves the day again!"

"Shut up Sirius." Remus threw his book at him.

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Lily was sitting at the breakfast table, talking to her friend Matilda, when suddenly, she went silent. Her eyes were as big as dinner plates, her mouth hanging apart.

"'Tilda? Something wrong?" Lily waved a hand in front of her face, but there was no response.

"HEY!!! LILY!!" That was James Potter, no doubt about that at all.

"NO Potter. I won't go out with you, before you ask."

"...I wasn't going to ask." James said as he strode over to them.

"Really?" Lily said, surprised.

"Yup. Hey, Lily's friend!" He patted her shoulder. Matilda blinked, her mouth still wide open.

"Wi - I - um - er - hi - hijames." She was tripping over her words, cheeks bright red.

"Will you go out with me?" James smiled his charming smile.

"...I - Wha - I - YES!" With that, the poor girl collapsed at the table in a dead faint.

"What's this about, Potter?" Lily threw a cold stare at him.

"Nothing." With a grin, he walked off, a satisfied smile on his face.

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"Remus, hide me." James looked at his friend with a fearful gaze. "It's her again! she keeps kissing me, and dragging me everywhere with her! Help me!!!"

"You know, you shouldn't taken Sirius' advice on this one. Matilda's that kind of girl, and Lily hasn't even looked at you for the week you two have been dating."

James was about to cry. "Remuuuuus!! It's like she thinks I'm not human - I feel like a teddy bear!" He shuddered. "WAAAH I THINK SHE SPOTTED ME!"

"JAMES HONEEEY!!! WE'RE GOING OUTSIDE TO MEET WITH EVERYONE!" Matilda was skipping over to Remus and James.

"OH MY GOSH! HELP ME REMUS! OR KILL ME! I'M NOT PICKY!!"

Remus quickly stepped out of the way, allowing James to be showered with kisses on his cheeks.

"REMUUUS!!! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIIIISSS!!" James gasped for air from underneath the hyper girl.

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Author's Notes: This is not going to be a Lily/Remus fic. Lily does not have a crush on Remus; Sirius is stupid, as you can tell. If she did, I would be murdered by the combined forces of certain people. Stay tuned for more as it comes! Pray I don't get writers' block! XD