Harry Potter and the Dark Lord's Duplicate by Ziegod Lizski
Chapter 1

The time had finally come for Harry to return to Hogwarts after an extremely long summer at the Durseley's. For some reason, Dumbledoor refuse to let Harry leave his hated muggle relatives' home. Nontheless, Harry was back on the Hogwarts Express and had put his awful summer behind him.
Ron and Harry sat in the back comartment of the train, pigging out on chocolate frogs and every-flavor beans. A girl entered; Harry saw that she was very pretty. They immediately jumped up and tried to wipe the chocolate from their mouths.
"Hi guys!" said the beauty casually. Harry realised who the girl was. Hermione.
"Hi," Harry managed to choke out. His friend had completely transformed over two months. She could go on one of those "Geek to Hottie" talk shows.
"What are you staring at?" she asked, smiling, as she plopped down next to Ron, "Oh! The hair! I spent the summer visiting relatives in the states. My cousin introduced me to Frizz-ease, an American muggle hair potion."
Harry grinned to himself. It was more then her hair that had changed. Ron's eyes agreed, and Harry and Ron exchanged a "she's mine" glance. Both immediately got on one knee and proclaimed their love for her.
"I know how to solve this!" exclaimed Hermione, "In the States, the Muggles have a television show called 'Dawson's Creek;' it'll give you all the advice you need."
"Ok," said Harry.
"Great," said Ron. It appeared as though the two friends had called a truce as the train pulled into Hogsmeade station.
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All of the returning students were ushered into the hall, and as they sat down, many gaped at a spindley-legged girl who was towering over the trembling crowd of first-years.
"Blimey," whispered Ron to Hermione, "She's awful tall for an eleven-year-old."
"Yeah! She looks like she's taller than you!," Hermione replied. Dumbledoor crossed the stage, gestured for the giant to come out of the crowd, and said, "Everyone, this is Mary Sue. As you can tell, she's not a first year. She has been living abroad and completing assignments by owl-spondence."
He placed the beaten-up Sorting Hat on her golden head; it called out "Gryffindor."
Mary Sue crossed the room over to the Griffindor table and plopped down next to Hermione. After the sorting was finished, from "Applegate, Charlie--Hufflepuff," to "Zangini, Sue--Ravenclaw," everyone filed out of the Great Hall. Harry walked alone for the first time in his Hogwarts career.
"Britney Spears rocks my world," said George to the portrait of the fat lady who guarded Gryffindor tower, "New password. It works on so many levels."
A quiet voice belonging to Neville Longbottom inquired, "Britney Spears is a wizard?"
"How do you think she got so much fame with so little talent?" George replied.
Harry and Ron mounted the stairs and entered their dormitory. Harry felt as if he'd finally come home, comforted by the sight of the 4-poster beds. After Neville, Dean, and Seamus Finnigan had fallen asleep, snoring rather loudly, Ron and Harry sat up.
"Let's do it," said Ron.
"Okay, just don't cry when we find out that I'm the one who should get the girl."
"Maybe you should take a hint from Malfoy and get a box of tissues."
Harry pointed his wand at an empty spot on the floor and said, "Duba Duba Duba-ya B-us"
Figures resembling James Van Der Beek and Joshua Jackson materialized, both looking very confused.
"Um, Dawson," said Pacey, "Where's the creek?"
"Beats me, dude," Dawson replied, looking around the room in amazement. He grabbed Harry's wand and would have made an obscene gesture with it if Harry hadn't shouted, "Accio" just in time.
"Dude! Are you guys like from Buffy? Have you met her? She's sooooo hot," said Dawson.
After being able to only hear the word "Dude" for 15 minutes, Harry and Ron shoved the two dudes in the closet, defeated.
"Hey, could you like get me Buffy's autograph? She's sooo hot. Dude, did you just fart?," said a muffled voice from inside the closet.



This is my first attempt at FanFiction, so please review.