Elegy for my Best Friend by John Gage

Why did it have to be you?

The guy I always leaned on, looked up to, wanted to be like

The man who always had my back, took care of me, pushed me to do no less than my best work

You held me up, and didn't let me fall

Listened patiently when I ranted even if it meant nothing to you.

Laughed when I laughed

Cried when I cried

Helped me to reach for the stars

Why you, Pally? Why?

All those times I was ill or injured, whether it was on duty or not

I wonder why you went first and left me behind

Was that your intention, Roy?

Was that what you wanted?

I don't know, and I don't think I ever will know.

It doesn't matter anyway

I miss you, and I probably always will miss you

All the things you were, Pally

A firefighter and a paramedic with so much love for the job

A father and a husband

A man who became my best friend

Eyes as blue as the Pacific

An endearing smile

Warmth and integrity, coupled with compassion

The love and brotherhood you showed to me, Johnny Gage, even when I tried to resist

I was so afraid to let other people in and let them see me as I really am

I put up walls and I was unwilling to let anyone break those walls down

Your determination to break down those walls I have never forgotten

I owe so much to you and your tenacity

You were that brother that I never had

Even a father figure at times

But I've lost you

Everything you meant to me

Both the good times and the bad

Every time we saved someone's life, we were proud that we had done it together

Every time we lost a patient, we mourned and commiserated together

You were my hero, the man I most wanted to be like

I wanted your admiration and your friendship

I guess, Roy, it couldn't last forever

After all, what starts ultimately comes to an end

Death took you away from me

Did it have to be that way?

Will I see you again?

Will all my heart, Pally, I want to believe you and I will be together again

Until then I will just have to hope and pray that it truly will be so

Goodbye, Roy, my dear friend

Until we meet again

Soon

Always, your Junior