Elegy for my Best Friend by John Gage
Why did it have to be you?
The guy I always leaned on, looked up to, wanted to be like
The man who always had my back, took care of me, pushed me to do no less than my best work
You held me up, and didn't let me fall
Listened patiently when I ranted even if it meant nothing to you.
Laughed when I laughed
Cried when I cried
Helped me to reach for the stars
Why you, Pally? Why?
All those times I was ill or injured, whether it was on duty or not
I wonder why you went first and left me behind
Was that your intention, Roy?
Was that what you wanted?
I don't know, and I don't think I ever will know.
It doesn't matter anyway
I miss you, and I probably always will miss you
All the things you were, Pally
A firefighter and a paramedic with so much love for the job
A father and a husband
A man who became my best friend
Eyes as blue as the Pacific
An endearing smile
Warmth and integrity, coupled with compassion
The love and brotherhood you showed to me, Johnny Gage, even when I tried to resist
I was so afraid to let other people in and let them see me as I really am
I put up walls and I was unwilling to let anyone break those walls down
Your determination to break down those walls I have never forgotten
I owe so much to you and your tenacity
You were that brother that I never had
Even a father figure at times
But I've lost you
Everything you meant to me
Both the good times and the bad
Every time we saved someone's life, we were proud that we had done it together
Every time we lost a patient, we mourned and commiserated together
You were my hero, the man I most wanted to be like
I wanted your admiration and your friendship
I guess, Roy, it couldn't last forever
After all, what starts ultimately comes to an end
Death took you away from me
Did it have to be that way?
Will I see you again?
Will all my heart, Pally, I want to believe you and I will be together again
Until then I will just have to hope and pray that it truly will be so
Goodbye, Roy, my dear friend
Until we meet again
Soon
Always, your Junior
